March(ing on!) Ups and Downs of Depression Support

  • A few days into March, to our little group, we support each other thru whatever we are facing There are Downs but also Ups which we need to celebrate. Please feel free to pop in.

    Hi Kathleen and Ann, oh my gosh isn't the earlier sunrise and later sunset better than the dark days of deep winter! we have actually more snow now than we did last month, and it is COLD again, right now it's -13 (still air temp, not wind chill!) but the fact that there is more light is hopeful to me.

    If I allow myself to think negatively and fearfully of going to work each day, all that does is give me a stomachache ...I have had a much better week in that I tried so hard to think past that. I wonder if part of my hangup is that at the summer job, I receive positive comments constantly, daily, about my work (well it's easy when you make desserts that people like, lol) and maybe I am missing that?? I don't like to think that my ego needs to be fed..and there is merit in knowing that you are doing your best and accomplishing each task. It is true that most customers will say 'thank you, you've been very helpful' and one nice email gave over the top praise to us, that is great to read.

    I am thinking ahead to the summer job when i will be on my feet all day and what that will feel like to my knees ... I have kept up with my basic all over exercises but I really REALLY need to focus on more strengthening on leg muscles. I have all the printouts from the PT that I briefly saw last year, I just need to do them!

    My son's wedding is in August and there is the slight dread of what to wear. I know I need to love myself but it is a fact that even if I weighed 20 lbs less, I have thick legs and ankles and am so very self conscious. Yes it is okay if I wear pantsuit , I checked with future DIL and it is 'slightly dressy/cocktail' attire. And outdoor, weather cooperates I hope! Starting to look online.

    Hope everyone is doing good . Still miss our previous friends from here!
  • Holly: Thank you for starting the cleverly-named March thread! I am also totally loving the lighter-longer days! We have had some gorgeous weather lately (in the 50s), and I am really getting spring fever!

    That is a good observation that maybe you are missing the daily positive feedback that your summer job provides. It is natural to want to know that you are doing well. Who doesnt like a good compliment?

    I would also have dread about what to wear for my son's wedding, but I am confident that you will find something perfect for you. I say go for comfort and keep it simple but elegant. You have plenty of time to find something. Good luck with your search!

    Ann: Congratulations on your continued weight loss! You inspire me! Keep up the great work!
  • Holly, glad the job is going better. Thinking about son's wedding, what about a flowy summery dress, maybe one that has an unevel ruffly hemline just above the ankles? Maybe some sandals with ankle straps? Get something beautiful and have your picture taken while you are smiling. When you are smiling and happy people aren't looking at your legs and ankles!

    Kathleen, I hope things on the home front are getting better. I often remind myself that I cannot control other people's actions, but I can control my response to them. I try not to waste my time and energy on things that are out of my control.

    Just been doing some heavy cleaning, and going through clothes, I have a bag to give away. I also bought myself a new pocket book, a nightgown and a new top this morning. We have a Kohls here and I love their stuff. I hit all the clearance racks first. I spent $100. and I got $20. in Kohls cash that I can spend tomorrow through Sat. If I can't find anything else I want I can buy socks.

    Weather was beautiful today, in the hgh 50's and snow was melting. I got a HUGE adult male coyote on the game camera. Also got a smaller, skittish female. I think it is the breeding pair I had last year. I got them out with 2 pups several times over the late summer and fall. I see the 2 youngsters on the cameras a few times a month.
  • Hey friends!

    Kathleen how are things with you and your family dynamics? I am hoping so much that things are better. And this was from a few months ago but were you able to find a therapist for yourself who can help with the anxiety? Also hoping that your weather is improving and you can get out with walks with your doggos . Thinking of you!!

    Ann, it is so cool that you have that trail cam!! are you able to share pics here? did you set that up just out of curiosity, or were you concerned about the local wildlife?? very interesting!

    thank you both for the input on the wedding. I already got a pair of sandals, high heels, strappy; they were supposed to be 'alloy' color; in the pic they were a sort of black/steel texture ...they arrived and they are silvery and sparkly, I could wear them and pretend to be a stripper LOL! but I will keep them, silver/sparkly is festive. the dress/jacket hasn't come yet. Both Amazon so I will be returning and trying again if I don't like. And yes, it is ALL about attitude isn't it!

    I was given accolades at our Sales/Customer Service meeting yesterday by my manager! She told them that she hasn't been in the office much at all but she was for one day last week; and she was 'blown away' by the progress I've made . She stated that I came to them with just a few computer skills (that's an understatement lol) but have come so far. I thanked her and said it was only due to all of them being so kind and helpful.

    Always when I come here, I think of our friends, Lisa and Pat and Coop and Monica ...sending well wishes to them
  • Hi Holly, so glad to hear work is going nicely. Also the wardrobe for the wedding. As far as the game cameras, DBF gave me the first one for Xmas in 2012. He lives in the city and was very impressed at seeing the deer cutting through my property. Little did we know about the bears, bobcats, and coyotes that also frequented my place. I have tried to post pictures and it seems I can only post links so unable to put pics. I would love to share the big male coyote I have been getting, he is at least as big as Otis, so easily 60-70 lbs. I now have 6 cameras out there and each week when I swap out the SD cards it is like Xmas all over again as we see what animals we have gotten. 2 of the cameras have their own data plans and send notifications and pictures right to my phone, I like those because they batteries last a year and I can put them in places I don't want to be going to each week- steep banks, thick woods, and ticks.

    I have been weeding through kitchen cupboards, I gave a big bag of canned goods to the food pantry, and packed up extra stuff and stored in totes in basement. Maybe the grands will get their own places and I can jump start their kitchens.

    I want to get the deep cleaning done now, as it is getting warmer outside and I will be spending 10 hour days in my wood shop. My first craft fair is less than a month away and I want to make at least 6 more picture frames for it. I picked up the glass already for the 11 x 14's. and the 8 x 10's. Just got to organize the shop and get busy.

  • Ann: I like your advice to focus on what i can control, which is my response to other people's behavior. Things have been a bit better within our family lately, but I have tried to keep your advice in mind and it has helped me during stressful times. Unfortunately, the relationships in our family cycle on somewhat of a roller coaster, so I just need to accept that to some extent. It is what it is.

    Your game camera sounds so cool. That male coyote must be huge! We occasionally get coyotes in our suburban neighborhood and it scares the heck out of me because I don't want them to hurt (or worse) my dogs. So you have seen bears on the camera, too? Are these animals up close to your home or do you have a lot of land? I love animals, but I would be afraid if I saw a bear right near my home! That would be amazing to watch them on camera, though.

    We have been doing some major cleaning and purging at our house, too. Long overdue! We have several bags to donate, but our trash was overflowing with large black trash bags on our last trash day. My husband said that our neighbors would probably think we were moving!

    Holly: Please see above for my update on my family. Thank you for checking in and for your good wishes. I decided not to pursue individual therapy right now. I have been able to manage my anxiety better lately for the most part. And I am using Klonopin more often as needed. I tend to resist using it, but it really helps when I do need and use it. I have also been reading some self-help books again and writing in my journal as needed. After so many years of therapy, I just really don't want to go back unless absolutely necessary, and I really don't want to add any more appointments to my calendar at this time.

    Our weather has been warm and gorgeous the past several days.
    We march in the St. Patrick's Day parade every year with my family. (Of course, they havent held the parade the past two years due to Covid, so this year was extra special.) It is my older brother, Patrick's, birthday. And then we party afterward. It is one of my favorite days of the year! Anyway, the weather was beautiful, too, which made the day even better! And, yes, we have been out walking with the dogs a lot more often lately. I love it and so do they!

    Oh my gosh, I laughed out loud when I read what you wrote about pretending to be a stripper with your silvery, sparkly high heels. They actually sound really pretty... and festive, as you said. I love strappy high heels. Let us know how the dress/jacket works out.

    Congratulations on your accolades from your manager at your Sales/Customer Service meeting! 🎉 Very well-deserved! That must have felt so good. As usual, you were humble and gracious.

    I still think of all of our past friends from the group here, too, and wish them well. 💜

    Did I already tell you both that March 9th was my 7th anniversary of being a breast cancer survivor? 🎉
    I am very thankful to be alive and healthy. I went for my 6 month checkup in early March and was given a clean bill of health. That is always a huge relief!
  • Kathleen so good to hear from you. I am glad you have found a way to cope with family dynamics. I struggled for years in a bad marriage, I walked on eggshells so as not to rock the boat and anger him. He was verbally and emotionally abusive and I didn't want to face it. I do much better with all my relationships since I decided not to respond in a way that fed into someone else's agenda. I also tell myself not to take it so personally. Some of the guys I worked with had Qtips taped to their monitors, when I asked why, they said they had been in a class about dealing with difficult people and it was a reminder to Quit Taking It Personally. I never forgot that!

    So bears, I have gotten a mom with 3 cubs and an occasional lone bear, but in 2020 I got a lot of bears. One camera takes 8 pictures in a row when triggered. I got back to the house and started going through the cards. I have a 24 inch monitor set up and this huge male bear was standing up scratching his back and filled the screen. It gave me shivers and I was glad I didn't run into him. I only have 5 acres and the cameras are 200 feet from the house in the woods. Scary as they look bears are shy and avoid people. Coyotes do concern me but in all these years I only get night time pictures and my dog yard has 4 foot chainlink fence with spot lights to cover it.

    I am still cleaning house, I want to get it done before the good weather. I spent most of the last 2 days working in the yard and garden, I planted peas yesterday, a few rows of carrots, beets, swiss chard with radishes to mark the rows.

  • Hello friends! it is so nice to see you .

    Kathleen, yes, the milestone of March 9, so wonderful! And so glad to hear of your wonderful St. Patrick's Day public celebration and then your family party. It is great that you are able to keep Ann's wise words in your mind as you navigate family matters. And wise for you to know the path that some conversations will go, and anticipate and temper expectations? that's what I'm reading into it. Congrats on the long overdue cleaning/clearing out! It is so easy to accumulate is constant to think to get rid of things that we are replacing.

    and I'm so glad you've been having beautiful weather to get outside!! woohoo!!

    Ann, wow you've been busy in the garden! and in your workshop. The trail cams sound so cool to watch. But yeah, enormous bears are scary. As you said they are generally timid and more afraid of us, but we (general area around here) have seen bears much more often in the past 2 years, I guess 2020/2021 was very dry and there was not the normal forage for them in the woods and they come to the easy food, dumpsters/compost heaps/bird feeders. We had them at work even when we electrified the compost and trash/recycling containers. Right up to the building! we got used to run around and shut the doors when we saw them coming.

    The Q tip thought is so clever! and many, many congrats to you to be rid of an abusive relationship

    My Mother of the Groom dress arrived and I love it! Its this one in Navy Blue

    and these are the stripper shoes

    We had a foot of snow on March 12th; it was all melted about 3 days later; now we are in Mud Season; any road that is not paved can be downright treacherous and sometimes impassable. All winter I've been taking a shortcut to work, just 8 miles; but it's unpaved and I havent even attempted it since Monday. It means my commute then doubles at least but that's OK.

    Can't do anything in the yard yet except maybe pick up stick and some big stuff, it is so squishy and soft. But it just takes time for the moisture to drain into the earth and things to dry out. We have tackled the worst of the dog doo nightmare, haha! It is good to get that taken care of so the Spring rains can help to get rid of lingering .... remains!
  • Holly, I love your navy dress and those gorgeous shoes! That is a perfect Mother of the Groom outfit!
  • Holly, I love your outfit, the silver in the sandals brings out the silver in the dress!! Good for you,

    I get bears all the time, my woods border about 50 acres of field with a large brook going through it, then it goes back to deep woods, Animals naturally follow the brook, feed in the field, then sneak into my piece of woods for shade and cover to travel to other areas. It is like a funnel. In one week I might get 10 different animals on one camera. I have joked about putting up a sign that says " Stop here to have your picture taken". We are always amazed at the variety of animals we get.

  • Hi friends, last week of March!! we had a semi-nice day on Saturday for a while, got to the high 40's and I picked up sticks/did some raking on a drier part of the lawn. But now it's covered with thin white again, boo. and it's 11 degrees with a high of 21 but I think I saw alot of the country is getting hit with this coldness.

    Ann I love the visual of the sign for the animals to stop and have their picture taken! lol!

    Hi Kathleen

    Hope you are both doing well and are happy

  • BRR from NH. Have had snow off and on for a few days and bitter cold with wind. Had a day almost 60 last week, then hit 9 degrees overnight, just isn't fair. A little warmer today but still windy. I have a ton of yardwork to do but not happening today. Supposed to be nicer tomorrow,
    Haven't seen a bear yet but last week I got the first deer on the cameras since November,
  • Hello Holly and Ann! I started the new April thread. Just wanted to let you know.

    I would post a link like tech-savvy Holly, but I don't know how.