June 2021 Ups and Downs Depression Thread
 

:welcome3: to anyone who wants to say Hi here! we are a small but mighty group of friends who support each other during our times of Ups and Downs of dealing with depression.

I am copying the recent post from our dear friend Tree x, it was under the May thread and lets put it here :D

Hi Tree x and oh gosh I'm so sorry to hear of the foot fractures, even harder for you to have to deal with while you take care of him! I hope so very much that you are able to get some kind of help. goodness knows you could use it!! and that it is not too much of a hassle to go through though of course those things usually are.


also so sorry to hear that you are in another Covid lockdown! :( Our small State is so fortunate that we are at about 70% vaccinated; and if one is fully vaccinated AND 2 weeks' past that time, one can go without a mask in public!!! I have been enjoying that for about 2 weeks now (as long as the store I am in, is in agreement - stores can make their own policies) But back to you...I hope it is controlled soon!! best wishes! and yes One Day at a Time.


Yes I should chuck the scales, they make me feel so badly.


Work has settled down slightly - or maybe I am getting accustomed to being on my feet again always. I am averaging 2 to 3 evenings a week in the dining room. We just don't have enough staff! I am well paid for it though. And my knees aren't as bad as that first week. And I ordered 2 pairs of shoes ("sneakers", do people even call them that anymore) in the hopes that at least one of them will feel good.


I have been doing as much as I can out on the lawn too, we started so many seeds and now have to plant the seedlings, lol! but I love to be outside and know the plants will be so nice soon enough.


After coming home from work yesterday and collapsing and resting for a couple hours, I got my mojo back and weed whacked then mowed. Got it almost all done, I have to do weed whacking in stages as the battery packs only last about 15 minutes each; I do the Absolutely Necessary Whacking then the Looks Nice if I Can Get To It Whacking, then the Wow I Can't Believe I've Spent Hours On the Lawn Whacking! lol I only have one day off a week so I cram alot into it.


I know I told of stressing about having to buy 2 used cars. We found 2. They are BIG. We did not want big vehicles (to save on gas) but there was just hardly anything to choose from out there. And we've been looking for 3 months. Anyway...one is a Nissan Xterra (my husband loves it) and the other is a Mercedes SUV. Yeah...sounds expensive but it was under $5000 and is in good condition. We still have to turn in my leased Subaru next week, so our driveway is so crowded with those vehicles AND our two motorcycles.


and today I went through our garage and pulled out EIGHT tires...and we don't even have those vehicles that they go with, anymore! grrr. Husband likes to save EVERYTHING. Well I loaded them up and took em to the junkyard, where they looked them over and only bought 2 of them. But I got $30; then went to the Dump to dispose of the remaining 6 and it cost $39 so it was only $9 out of pocket and they are GONE from our property! :carrot:


well that is my current life and i would love to hear from everyone, especially Pat and Lisa!

New and looking for a place to start
 

Hello, I'm not sure where to start here. I'm looking for a small group with consistent support.

I'm 61, married, and have custody of my 10 year old granddaughter. I live in the Hudson Valley in NY, and I've tried many different diets and programs (Richard Simmons, Weigh Down, Medifast, WW, OA...) over the years with my weight going up and down. I've hit 220, not my highest weight ever, but looking to drop about 50 lbs. It's getting harder! I don't binge like I used to but slowly my weight creeps up. Not sure how to do this now, but trying portion control, no sugar, no soda. I have had both knees replaced and have difficulty walking so not too motivated to exercise. I have a history of depression and anxiety and have been on meds for years. Life is so much better since marrying a great guy last year.

Cheryl

Getting ready for work but really wanted to welcome Cheryl!:welcome2: I will be back this afternoon or evening to say more!

Hello and thanks for the warm welcome. Well, I wrote a lengthy post that I somehow lost even though I got "auto save" messages all along the way. Any insight into this quirk appreciated. I'm going to try to recreate much of that post!

I have tried Metformin, but alas I am allergic. I hear there is a new med.

Weigh Down Workshop has received quite a bit of criticism, but one aspect I have gained from that is eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are satisfied. Also, that no foods are inherently bad. I need to behave, not make the food behave. I notice my granddaughter, who is slim, leaves food on her plate much of the time. Occasionally she eats extra servings, but not often. I let her eat what she likes.

Anxiety .. I hate it. Mine is better since my home life is happy and stable now. My older daughter, my granddaughter's mother, is psychologically unstable and manipulative and the source of much of my anxiety. I do belong to a support group for grandparents with custody, and that helps somewhat. Irun a small nonprofit substance abuse prevention agency, but we have been working remotely since March 2020. I've been really isolated socially as I hate the phone. I have phone anxiety, so I have friends but just don't stay in contact. We are back in the office part-time, but I'm alone when I'm here.

I have an exercise bike but no motivation to use it. It's the one exercise that doesn't hurt my knees so it would be good for me.

the scale was 222 this morning, so I'm going to use that for my starting weight. A nice round number. I'm nice and round too!

LOL!! :rofl: Well I hope you find it nice here Cheryl, we are SMALL (but always looking for more friends!!) and very supportive and some of us have been here for years. We have a couple friends whom we haven't heard from in a while and we hope to!! (Lisa and Pat)

It is wonderful that you found love in this chapter of your life! Wow at having custody of your granddaughter, that must keep you busy. I am sorry about your knee pain, was the replacement supposed to help that? and sorry about the anxiety. Kudos to you for running the nonprofit to help folks!!

we hear ya about losing your post ! so frustrating. When I think of it, I open a Word or Google document and do my post there, then cut and paste. But that's usually only after I lose a LONG detailed wonderful post, lol.

Kathleen - when I spoke of working the dinner shifts, yes that is after I've been in the kitchen in the day. It is not horribly long hours - usually I start my kitchen shift around 8:30 and finish by 2:30; then I can go up to Staff and take a nap! and the dinner shift goes from 5 to sometime after 8. Yes I hope at least one pair of the new shoes feel good!

LOL!! :rofl: Well I hope you find it nice here Cheryl, we are a small group (but always looking for more friends!!) and very supportive and some of us have been here for years. We have a couple friends whom we haven't heard from in a while and we hope to!! (Lisa and Pat)


It is wonderful that you found love in this chapter of your life! Wow at having custody of your granddaughter, that must keep you busy. I am sorry about your knee pain, was the replacement supposed to help that? and sorry about the anxiety. Kudos to you for running the nonprofit to help folks!!


we hear ya about losing your post ! so frustrating. When I think of it, I open a Word or Google document and do my post there, then cut and paste. But that's usually only after I lose a LONG detailed wonderful post, lol.


Kathleen - when I spoke of working the dinner shifts, yes that is after I've been in the kitchen in the day. It is not horribly long hours - usually I start my kitchen shift around 8:30 and finish by 2:30; then I can go up to Staff and take a nap! and the dinner shift goes from 5 to sometime after 8. Yes I hope at least one pair of the new shoes feel good!

I forgot to mention to Cheryl, my particular type of depression is very low outlook sometimes, very low self esteem, alot of apathy during the winter months.

I have a lot of apathy in the winter months, too. I used to tell myself "I hate you", even out loud, fairly often, but that only happens occasionally now.

I'm having trouble getting motivated to exercise. Nothing new there. The knee pain was there before the surgeries and remains after, I've had foot surgeries as well. Standing still actually hurts more than walking. I used to be fairly active so it is very difficult to be so limited.

It's a beautiful June day here, looking forward to some time outside when I take my granddaughter to karate later.

Hi Cheryl, wow how frustrating that even after surgeries, you still have pain :( I have found an exercise lady to follow, she is so warm and friendly, Pahla Bee https://pahlabfitness.com/ she does have some seated workouts if that is an option. I just like to recommend her because she is a hoot to listen to and she preaches moderation at this stage of our lives (over 50) and her little dog is in her living room and her cats wander in and out :D

I hope you got to enjoy the beautiful June day yesterday! we had a heat wave but then a cold front and now it will be a blessed 70-ish in day, 50-ish at night, I like that.

I hope you have a great day and HI to everyone else!

Holly: Wow! You said those are "not horribly long hours," but starting your work day at 8:30am and finishing sometime after 8pm, even with a few hours and a nap in between, sounds brutal to me! That is a long work day! I'm very happy that you are getting paid well. Do you still like working there as much as you always did? Are the same bosses and employees there for the most part? How are your new shoes feeling?

My anxiety is sky high again. I am constantly thinking about and worrying about what needs to be done next. I know I would benefit from going back to therapy, but the thought of more appointments gives me more anxiety. It would be one more thing on my "to do" list. Plus, I don't have any recommendations for a good therapist, and the thought of starting over with a new one exhausts me. I think I'm going to start writing in a journal again and see if getting some of my anxious thoughts out on paper (and hopefully out of my mind) will help. I think it would if I did it consistently. Years ago, I used to journal all the time, and it was my lifeline.

Thank you for being here for me and the others in the group all of these years, Holly! Your support means so much to me. :hug: