April Ups and Downs Depression Suppport Thread

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  • Welcome to April and we are a small but mighty group of friends who celebrate our Ups in life as well as support each other through the Downs. please join us!

    On Monday I have the bone marrow biopsy. Then I wait for the results. Iím going to try to get the info before the meeting scheduled for April 28th. Thereís also a CAT scan scheduled forApril 19th. So itís going to be a time of increased anxiety.

    Hopping you both, and all others reading here have a good week. <3
    Pat we will be thinking of you this Monday! thinking of you and praying for you and sending positive thoughts the procedure on that day, then the dreaded wait for results. Just wrong that things happen to good people!! we are with you in spirit.

    Kathleen how nice for you and your daughter to take walks together, with the pups! and congrats on trying Pahla Bee's routine, oh gosh sorry your buns were burning!
  • forgot to celebrate the blooming crocus! I also found a few..now they are buried under a good 3" of snow. Yes the month of April will continue to tease us with warming temps then crashing temps!
  • Kathleen - you specifically asked if I would post about how the talks with the nutritionist are going. Well...after yesterday, I am close to breaking down I should have known that a journey into self-help would be painful and hard ... I don't want painful and hard!!

    Example - so I mentioned to the nutritionist (her name is Kate) that in my first therapy session on Tuesday, (in person with a therapist) I told him that I had a hard time 'living in the moment'. You know, finding joy while I am living, as opposed to feeling that I should be thinking ahead, planning ahead, worrying for the day/week/month/years. To which he said, "how would you feel...if you had NOTHING to worry about? if all your financial/emotional/whatever troubles were taken care of?" Well that was kind of mind-blowing...do all therapists ask that question to get us thinking? I answered that it would be super marvelous but to me seems NOT practical because to be a responsible adult you HAVE to think about things and plan . So I kind of 'get' what he was getting at. That maybe, if at that moment, you really can't do anything other than what you've done, just go ahead and enjoy that drive to the store with the sun and blue sky.

    So Kate (nutritionist) asked "how would you feel is there were NO forbidden foods, if you could have and enjoy a cupcake or a cookie or a bag of chips, without feeling that you were 'bad' or that you had to scrimp your calories to 'pay for it'? Of course I answered that would be super marvelous also! She then suggested that I buy whatever it is that I would 'enjoy', and do have it and enjoy it. and try to analyze my feelings while enjoying it, and maybe (someday) come to the feeling that I can enjoy something, and finish it all, or save some for tomorrow, or the next week..I guess that means having control over the food instead of it controlling me. BUT I said that I could not fathom buying a treat when I am NOT dying for it...to just buy it to try to calmly analyze it? i am NOT at that point. To me, that's like bringing a rattlesnake into the house! I have a feeling that some people have never experienced what some of us do - that if I have just a taste, it brings on the terrible cravings for MORE MORE MORE . So she delved further and said 'what would be the worst thing to happen?' and I said "I would crave more and more and maybe have more and more'. Again from her - 'and what would be the worst thing to happen from that?' Me - 'gaining pounds that I have been trying so hard to lose'. Her - (you guessed it haha) 'and Holly what is the worst that would happen from THAT?' So it was a breakdown of trying to get me to say ultimately what I feared from gaining weight. I answered "feeling unattractive, feeling that I failed, that people won't like me, that people will think I'm fat, that people wont' take me as seriously as a fit person". And I don't mean to say that she was like badgering me, she was speaking in the kind way that she does...it's just hard for us to admit these things.

    anyway... i am not going to purposely buy my danger foods just to bring them into the house to test myself
  • Pat: Sending prayers for your bone marrow biopsy tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and praying that the procedure is not too painful. And, most of all, that the biopsy is negative. 🙏 I am so sorry you have to go through this and through the terrible anxiety of waiting for the result. Sending you a big hug!
  • Holly: Sorry you feel close to breaking down after your talk with the nutritionist. Those are some tough questions that both your therapist and the nutritionist asked you! I'm with you: I don't want painful and hard either! But I guess sometimes we do have to "go there" in our self-help journeys. First, I want to ask if you like your new therapist? I hope so! I am so with you on having a hard time living in the moment. And, while it is nice to wonder how it would feel if we had nothing to worry about, as your therapist suggested, that seems unrealistic to me, because there is always something to worry about! I, personally, worry about WAY too much; nearly everything, so maybe I'm just a bad candidate for this particular exercise. (Haha! I'm probably exactly who needs it! )

    As scary as it sounds to do what your nutritionist suggested, I began to reintroduce "forbidden" foods about six years ago when I did a weight loss program that focused on mindfulness and intuitive eating rather than traditional dieting. It was the first time in a very long time that the weight finally began to come off and stay off (although I still need to lose more). The focus was on eating only when I was physically hungry and stopping eating when I was satisfied and not stuffed. No foods were really off limits when I followed those principles. I think that is why it worked for me. It sounds overly simplistic, but it really was that basic. It was all about getting in touch with my body, which took time and a lot of effort. I still need to remind myself of these very basic principles sometimes when I feel myself eating when I'm not really physically hungry or when I overeat. It is easier to catch myself doing these things now. I guess my point is that I don't necessarily think it is "bad" to have "forbidden" foods around if you follow some sort of plan for intuitive eating. But I do think that it could be very dangerous without a plan, and I don't blame you for not wanting to purposely bring your danger foods into your house just to test yourself.

    On another note, how do you post a quote from someome's post from a previous month (like you did for one of Pat's posts from the end of March) onto your post for the new month (like you did above at the beginning of April)? I've wanted to do that several times, but I never know how to do it.
  • Happy Easter! ✝️ 💚 🌷 💜 🌸

    We spent our first weekend of the Spring/Summer at the lake together as a family for Easter weekend!!! So happy to be back! It is beautiful here! It was even warm enough to take a boat ride today. Tully's first time on the boat! 💙 We are staying until Monday night.
  • I walk around 13 KMs a day during lockdown I sued to walk in my little garden or a balcony and ate a lot but healthy only with a good amount of salad and luckily I have my waist around 30 - 32 inches sometimes friends call me I am week but I never felt tired or said no any sports which I can play or walk in spite of driving whether it's some kind of small shopping and yes also in work what I try to do is always my efforts are just leave the screen and try to grab the task which invloves leaving the shcair or invloves walk if something to do with driving or sitting I try to pick the one which is urgent or can't be avoidable, rest I really liked and sharing the above discussions with my friend during the evening walks and yes I love it most if someone available to walk and allowed on the job to go as a team to somewhere for official purpose.
  • Pat - thinking of you today!!

    will be back to reply to others later
  • paulcorkgolf: to the group! It sounds like you are really doing your best to stay active. That is great! Glad you took the time to post.
  • Pat: I am also thinking of you today. 🙏 Hope you will have a chance to get plenty of good rest after the bone marrow biopsy.
  • Hoping that Pat's bone marrow procedure was not too awful today and hoping you're doing okay!

    Hello to paulcorkgolf

    Kathleen, oh that is so nice that you were at your lake house to enjoy Easter weekend with your family! and warm enough for being on the water and congrats to Tully on her first boat ride!

    and thank you for your input and insight on what I vented about. I *think* that I do eat intuitively...I don't demonize sweets, but I know they are empty calories and I could make better decisions; and I do try to wait until i really, REALLY want a treat, before I have it.

    and let's see if I can describe how I include those quotes First, I do open another tab on the computer to be at our thread, because you have to go back and forth; so have 2 tabs open to here at 3FC. I went to the post that I wanted to copy (we will use Pat's post from March) and clicked on the "quote" box that is at the bottom right of her post. That will bring her quote into the reply box. I will then select the whole thing, be sure to include all of it, don't leave out any of the brackets or anything ) and Copy it. Then go to your other open tab that has our thread, and click to post / reply as you usually would, to give you this reply box. Then Paste to place the copied quote. You can then type before it, or after it. Hope this was clear and that you can do it! and I would be happy to explain it again if needed.
  • Hi all a very brief look in from your Aussie friend.

    I see there was a big bone marrow health procedure Pat is undertaking, I too hope all went well and was as pain free as possible. Importantly I trust the results are encouraging.

    Wow! Some tough questions Holly from your nutritionist/therapist. I know better but still harbor the concept that food is either "good" or "bad" .

    Sorry I may come back another day to chat further in more depth. I am OK, too busy with hubby, work and life to be anything else but sometimes I feel as if everything will fall on top of me when I least expect it.

    Take care all x Tree
  • Tree: It is great to hear from you! Thanks for checking in. I hope you are able to take care of yourself, too, in the midst of your busy life and taking care of your husband. Sending you big hugs!
  • Holly: Thank you for explaining how to include a quote from the previous month on the new month's thread. Makes perfect sense! I will try it next time.

    Any word on when you are needed at the Club to begin cleaning for Summer opening?

    Did you ever find any new workout videos that you like on YouTube?
  • Pat: Hope you are recovering well from the bone marrow biopsy. Thinking of you!