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VermontMom 04-02-2021 05:03 PM

April Ups and Downs Depression Suppport Thread
Welcome to April and we are a small but mighty group of friends who celebrate our Ups in life as well as support each other through the Downs. please join us!


Originally Posted by flower123 (Post 5431236)

On Monday I have the bone marrow biopsy. Then I wait for the results. Iím going to try to get the info before the meeting scheduled for April 28th. Thereís also a CAT scan scheduled forApril 19th. So itís going to be a time of increased anxiety.

Hopping you both, and all others reading here have a good week. <3

Pat we will be thinking of you this Monday! thinking of you and praying for you and sending positive thoughts :hug: the procedure on that day, then the dreaded wait for results. Just wrong that things happen to good people!! we are with you in spirit.

Kathleen how nice for you and your daughter to take walks together, with the pups! and congrats on trying Pahla Bee's routine, oh gosh sorry your buns were burning! :D

VermontMom 04-02-2021 05:10 PM

forgot to celebrate the blooming crocus! :flow1: I also found a few..now they are buried under a good 3" of snow. Yes the month of April will continue to tease us with warming temps then crashing temps!

VermontMom 04-03-2021 01:24 PM

Kathleen - you specifically asked if I would post about how the talks with the nutritionist are going. Well...after yesterday, I am close to breaking down :?: :( I should have known that a journey into self-help would be painful and hard ... I don't want painful and hard!!

Example - so I mentioned to the nutritionist (her name is Kate) that in my first therapy session on Tuesday, (in person with a therapist) I told him that I had a hard time 'living in the moment'. You know, finding joy while I am living, as opposed to feeling that I should be thinking ahead, planning ahead, worrying for the day/week/month/years. To which he said, "how would you feel...if you had NOTHING to worry about? if all your financial/emotional/whatever troubles were taken care of?" Well that was kind of mind-blowing...do all therapists ask that question to get us thinking? I answered that it would be super marvelous :D but to me seems NOT practical because to be a responsible adult you HAVE to think about things and plan . So I kind of 'get' what he was getting at. That maybe, if at that moment, you really can't do anything other than what you've done, just go ahead and enjoy that drive to the store with the sun and blue sky.

So Kate (nutritionist) asked "how would you feel is there were NO forbidden foods, if you could have and enjoy a cupcake or a cookie or a bag of chips, without feeling that you were 'bad' or that you had to scrimp your calories to 'pay for it'? Of course I answered that would be super marvelous also! She then suggested that I buy whatever it is that I would 'enjoy', and do have it and enjoy it. and try to analyze my feelings while enjoying it, and maybe (someday) come to the feeling that I can enjoy something, and finish it all, or save some for tomorrow, or the next week..I guess that means having control over the food instead of it controlling me. BUT I said that I could not fathom buying a treat when I am NOT dying for it...to just buy it to try to calmly analyze it? i am NOT at that point. To me, that's like bringing a rattlesnake into the house! I have a feeling that some people have never experienced what some of us do - that if I have just a taste, it brings on the terrible cravings for MORE MORE MORE . So she delved further and said 'what would be the worst thing to happen?' and I said "I would crave more and more and maybe have more and more'. Again from her - 'and what would be the worst thing to happen from that?' Me - 'gaining pounds that I have been trying so hard to lose'. Her - (you guessed it haha) 'and Holly what is the worst that would happen from THAT?' So it was a breakdown of trying to get me to say ultimately what I feared from gaining weight. I answered "feeling unattractive, feeling that I failed, that people won't like me, that people will think I'm fat, that people wont' take me as seriously as a fit person". And I don't mean to say that she was like badgering me, she was speaking in the kind way that she does...it's just hard for us to admit these things.

anyway... i am not going to purposely buy my danger foods just to bring them into the house to test myself :(

IBelieveInMe2 04-04-2021 07:21 PM

Pat: Sending prayers for your bone marrow biopsy tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and praying that the procedure is not too painful. And, most of all, that the biopsy is negative. 🙏 I am so sorry you have to go through this and through the terrible anxiety of waiting for the result. :( Sending you a big hug! :hug:

IBelieveInMe2 04-04-2021 08:13 PM

Holly: Sorry you feel close to breaking down after your talk with the nutritionist. Those are some tough questions that both your therapist and the nutritionist asked you! I'm with you: I don't want painful and hard either! But I guess sometimes we do have to "go there" in our self-help journeys. First, I want to ask if you like your new therapist? I hope so! I am so with you on having a hard time living in the moment. And, while it is nice to wonder how it would feel if we had nothing to worry about, as your therapist suggested, that seems unrealistic to me, because there is always something to worry about! I, personally, worry about WAY too much; nearly everything, so maybe I'm just a bad candidate for this particular exercise. (Haha! I'm probably exactly who needs it! :lol:)

As scary as it sounds to do what your nutritionist suggested, I began to reintroduce "forbidden" foods about six years ago when I did a weight loss program that focused on mindfulness and intuitive eating rather than traditional dieting. It was the first time in a very long time that the weight finally began to come off and stay off (although I still need to lose more). The focus was on eating only when I was physically hungry and stopping eating when I was satisfied and not stuffed. No foods were really off limits when I followed those principles. I think that is why it worked for me. It sounds overly simplistic, but it really was that basic. It was all about getting in touch with my body, which took time and a lot of effort. I still need to remind myself of these very basic principles sometimes when I feel myself eating when I'm not really physically hungry or when I overeat. It is easier to catch myself doing these things now. I guess my point is that I don't necessarily think it is "bad" to have "forbidden" foods around if you follow some sort of plan for intuitive eating. But I do think that it could be very dangerous without a plan, and I don't blame you for not wanting to purposely bring your danger foods into your house just to test yourself.

On another note, how do you post a quote from someome's post from a previous month (like you did for one of Pat's posts from the end of March) onto your post for the new month (like you did above at the beginning of April)? I've wanted to do that several times, but I never know how to do it.

IBelieveInMe2 04-04-2021 08:56 PM

Happy Easter! ✝️ 💚 🌷 💜 🌸

We spent our first weekend of the Spring/Summer at the lake together as a family for Easter weekend!!! So happy to be back! It is beautiful here! :sunny: It was even warm enough to take a boat ride today. Tully's first time on the boat! 💙 We are staying until Monday night. :smug:

paulcorkgolf 04-05-2021 05:51 AM

I walk around 13 KMs a day during lockdown I sued to walk in my little garden or a balcony and ate a lot but healthy only with a good amount of salad and luckily I have my waist around 30 - 32 inches sometimes friends call me I am week but I never felt tired or said no any sports which I can play or walk in spite of driving whether it's some kind of small shopping and yes also in work what I try to do is always my efforts are just leave the screen and try to grab the task which invloves leaving the shcair or invloves walk if something to do with driving or sitting I try to pick the one which is urgent or can't be avoidable, rest I really liked and sharing the above discussions with my friend during the evening walks and yes I love it most if someone available to walk and allowed on the job to go as a team to somewhere for official purpose.

VermontMom 04-05-2021 11:37 AM

:hug::crossed: Pat - thinking of you today!!

will be back to reply to others later :)

IBelieveInMe2 04-05-2021 03:12 PM

paulcorkgolf: :welcome2: to the group! It sounds like you are really doing your best to stay active. That is great! Glad you took the time to post. :smug:

IBelieveInMe2 04-05-2021 03:18 PM

Pat: I am also thinking of you today. 🙏 Hope you will have a chance to get plenty of good rest after the bone marrow biopsy. :hug:

VermontMom 04-05-2021 05:37 PM

Hoping that Pat's bone marrow procedure was not too awful today and hoping you're doing okay!

Hello to paulcorkgolf :)

Kathleen, oh that is so nice that you were at your lake house to enjoy Easter weekend with your family! and warm enough for being on the water and congrats to Tully on her first boat ride!

and thank you for your input and insight on what I vented about. I *think* that I do eat intuitively...I don't demonize sweets, but I know they are empty calories and I could make better decisions; and I do try to wait until i really, REALLY want a treat, before I have it.

and let's see if I can describe how I include those quotes :) First, I do open another tab on the computer to be at our thread, because you have to go back and forth; so have 2 tabs open to here at 3FC. I went to the post that I wanted to copy (we will use Pat's post from March) and clicked on the "quote" box that is at the bottom right of her post. That will bring her quote into the reply box. I will then select the whole thing, be sure to include all of it, don't leave out any of the brackets or anything :D ) and Copy it. Then go to your other open tab that has our thread, and click to post / reply as you usually would, to give you this reply box. Then Paste to place the copied quote. You can then type before it, or after it. Hope this was clear and that you can do it! :cheer2:and I would be happy to explain it again if needed.

TREEMBBS 04-06-2021 03:56 AM

Hi all a very brief look in from your Aussie friend.

I see there was a big bone marrow health procedure Pat is undertaking, I too hope all went well and was as pain free as possible. Importantly I trust the results are encouraging.

Wow! Some tough questions Holly from your nutritionist/therapist. I know better but still harbor the concept that food is either "good" or "bad" .

Sorry I may come back another day to chat further in more depth. I am OK, too busy with hubby, work and life to be anything else but sometimes I feel as if everything will fall on top of me when I least expect it.

Take care all x Tree

IBelieveInMe2 04-11-2021 11:00 PM

Tree: It is great to hear from you! :smug: Thanks for checking in. I hope you are able to take care of yourself, too, in the midst of your busy life and taking care of your husband. Sending you big hugs! :hug:

IBelieveInMe2 04-11-2021 11:04 PM

Holly: Thank you for explaining how to include a quote from the previous month on the new month's thread. Makes perfect sense! I will try it next time.

Any word on when you are needed at the Club to begin cleaning for Summer opening?

Did you ever find any new workout videos that you like on YouTube?

IBelieveInMe2 04-11-2021 11:10 PM

Pat: Hope you are recovering well from the bone marrow biopsy. Thinking of you! :hug:

IBelieveInMe2 04-11-2021 11:12 PM

Lisa: We haven't forgotten you! Missing you and hoping that everything is okay! :hug:

VermontMom 04-12-2021 08:50 AM

Hello Kathleen :) !

Yes we want to know how Pat is doing!! :hug:

Also missing our good good friend Lisa!!! :hug:

and Hi to Tree, continued support to you for having so much, taking care of your husband and all of life.

I have not heard yet when I can start back at the Club. I don't want to be irritating to them but yeah I would like to know! I will be patient for another couple of weeks.

I did find a lady of my age on youtube who has a strength routine, but it is not ideal to me because she will tell you what the moves are, then you are supposed to do it on your own, then go back to view the next exercise..I need to follow someone exactly. Also, with strength training, it is so hard for me to judge when is 'enough'. I know it's supposed to be difficult, not painful, but its really a challenge for me to know what point that is.

I actually have a physical therapy appt today, my first ever. I told my primary care phyician that I wanted to get an experts advice on knee strengthening exercises, and info on strength training for someone my age. that's today at 12:30.

I am trying very hard to either come to grips with the excess in this house. If worst came to worst and if my husband passed, I would be able to clean out everything (mostly by giving away somehow) relatively quickly but I want to live here and USE the 2 vacant rooms that are filled. I had mentioned 'clutter' to the therapist (my one visit to him) and he suggested 'yard sale'. That sounds great but first you have to have the people in your house agree to release stuff .

good news is that our weather has been unbelievably great. we have NEVER had all the snow gone by the last week of March; and even if snow was gone, it is usually 'raw' weather in April. I have been able to rake; do lawn clean up; and even able to go into our little woods and do more lopping down of potential trees and brush.

and better news, my husband got my bike out of the garage yesterday and I went for my first ride!! felt great. Just into town an back.

VermontMom 04-16-2021 07:46 AM

Hello friends!

Thinking of our Pat :hug:

and Lisa :hug:

so great to hear from Tree and Kathleen recently :dancer:

Good news from me; the physical therapist is confident that my knee pain can be helped by strengthening the muscles in my legs and glutes. She sent me home with 4 exercises to do. And I see her again next week. I did tell her I have no idea how much my crappy insurance will pay for; and if it seems excessive I will have to cease; she appreciated hearing that and said she could set me up with LOTS of homework :cp: oh and she complimented me on my flexibility! nice to get a comp from a professional.

I am continuing with the nutritionist phone sessions (another one today) because those are free.

I cancelled the next appt with the counselor/therapist; as I have too many issues to even start with :devil: and those sessions are - get this - $170 for 1/2 hour, my ins. pays for all but I have a $30 co-pay; but still not worth the time/trouble.

It is snowing right now :cry: we could get an inch or 3 or 6 :tantrum:

back to good news, the chef/boss called and said he is going into the Club starting the last week of this month, to start to assess, clean and plan. I asked if I could tag along :D I need to try to reprogram my mind to working, as I have had off for so very long.

VermontMom 04-17-2021 01:01 PM

Guess I am dominating this space lately :rolleyes: Again I am trying to clean out stuff. all I can focus on is 'my' stuff. I have boxes and boxes of photos from my great-aunt on my dad's side. Like, how much of this does one keep??? it mostly makes me sad to look through them! My husband keeps saying don't throw them out, they can be scanned; but he doesn't have the time and won't make the time and I don't want to either. I have had these for almost 20 years, since my dad died. I pull them out like every 5 years and attempt to do something with them and end up putting them back. I *think* I have ditched at least a box of photos in the past. I do not feel heartache over that; i don't miss them . Maybe that;s what I need to do again.

This morning I did finally complete a cleanup of sorts, I combined 2 bookcases into one, and dragged the extra one outside by myself. When my husband comes home he'll be shocked, lol, probably not completely happy with what I did but i don't care. I HAD to make that change in our upstairs tiny hall. I've also been nagging for weeks (which i don't usually do) for him to look through those bookcases and decide which books he would let me get rid of . I finally had to pin him down to do so the other day. WHY is it made so hard for me :(

Not a very 'up' day, I am trying now to count my blessings and be more positive :rolleyes:

We did get almost 4 inches of snow ugh. It is slowly melting though and will hopefully be gone in a few days.

I have to turn in my leased car in June and just found out that our second vehicle will not pass inspection. So we have to scout for 2 vehicles very soon.

VermontMom 04-21-2021 12:02 PM

Hello friends!! And you ARE all such good friends . I just spent an hour reading old posts . Some of us have been posting here for EIGHT YEARS. Lisa, Kathleen; remember Monica? and PandaCupcake? and Coop! Pat...and now Tree...you have all been here for me and you have all said such WONDERFUL loving meaningful things to me when I needed it most. Thank you all so much.

Am hoping so much that our dear Pat is doing okay :?:

Also our dear friend Lisa . She has said wonderful things to me here for years and I will not forget her :hug:

And Coop, if you ever read here you KNOW you can just jump back in :smug:

Kathleen how are you ?? And hello Tree - so you are opposite our weather, right? what is your weather like? more importantly how are you doing, you have so much to take care of your husband.

The four inches of snow I spoke of, a few days ago? or was it a week ago..anyway, that melted, we had OK weather, then cooler, then this morning woke to at least 2" more, it's all white again . oh well it should melt in a couple days!

We have looked at 2 used cars and both were not good. Still looking.

I spoke of cleaning out that bookcase , I am enjoying the open space I created so much. And trying still to focus on blessings and positives, instead of what I don't have or what is not being accomplished here.

I am in great health, I am about 6 lbs. more than what is expected in my range but I am strong and can still exercise and will keep doing so! and I'm following the physical therapist's home exercises religously as well as my own youtube stuff.

I am still going thru old (like 1940's old) family photos and trying to keep a record to give to our sons, then pitch the rest. I have written about these photos for YEARS here and how they just make me too sad.

Did I tell you that I can start to go to my summer job this Monday?? it is so early (we don't open officially til May 19th) but I have the manager's blessing to come as soon as i want. Cleaning is the big thing; organizing, supplies lists, the whole she-bang. Woo-hoo :D

I can hear the wet heavy snow falling in *WHOOMPS* off the roof :devil:

IBelieveInMe2 04-25-2021 03:57 PM

Holly: Sorry you have been alone here for the past couple of weeks. I have just been very busy with tons of appointments and family events and trying to get some kind of order to my house in between everything. And we have started going to the lake on weekends already (since Easter weekend), so that leaves me less time to get caught up on things at home. I feel like I am caught up in a rat race, going from one "to do" to the next. I've felt this way for awhile. I have been trying to refocus my priorities and live in the moment, but I continue to fail miserably. :( Then, last Sunday, the 36-year-old son of a very good friend died unexpectedly. :cry: That reminds me of the importance of following priorities and living in the moment. Life is so short! My heart breaks for my friend.

I'm glad things are going well with the physical therapist. That is great that you will be going back to your summer job on Monday! :smug: Please let us know how it goes.

Continuing to keep Pat in my prayers. I sure hope everything is okay! 🙏💙

VermontMom 04-26-2021 06:46 AM

Hello Kathleen! I am so glad that your lake house is now part of your enjoyment :) However I am sorry that you are so caught in the daily 'have to do' type things. That "living in the moment" is a very hard thing to do, isnt' it! the one visit I had with the counselor, when I mentioned that, he said (and I think I mentioned it here) to try to think, "If I didn't have anything to worry about how would I feel right now?" as a way to live in the moment. However as you and I know, one HAS to think about the future and plan, so I don't know how to combine the two :shrug: I dunno.

TODAY I get to go to work! haha, how excited I am about that, instead of complaining. I have already put my 3 or 4 boxes of stuff in my car (special baking equipment, all my organizational notes/paper/pens, my personal stuff that goes in my room) and got up at 6, the first time in months. If the water is flowing there (they shut it off for the winter) then I can run things thru the Hobart. if not, it will just be a 'getting back to the mindset', and organizing and visiting with the manager/front of the house lady :)

I got new exercises from the physical therapist last week, plus 3 NEW exercise bands, different colors, I guess different strengths. I do not like to do the exercises because they are hard :tantrum: but I guess that means they are effective. I value my mobility and need the strength and stamina to work! so I will do them.


Originally Posted by IBelieveInMe2 (Post 5432846)
Continuing to keep Pat in my prayers. I sure hope everything is okay! 🙏💙

YES!! :hug: And Lisa :hug:

hilly998 04-26-2021 06:51 AM

Love this thread! :)

VermontMom 04-28-2021 07:58 AM

Hilly998, join in! :welcome:

My day at work on Monday was good, it was so good to be there, but it was freezing, no heat in the building and you could see your breath! thank goodness the maintenance guy set up a space heater in the kitchen. the chef and I did as much as we could, but we didn't have running water either. Hopefully when I am there tomorrow the water will be on. I can find other things to do, like inventory.

we are still searching for 2 used cars for us, I have to turn in my lease in June, and we found out our other vehicle won't pass inspection. ugh!

I get my second vax today!

VermontMom 04-28-2021 07:59 AM

Kathleen I meant to comment and offer my sympathy about the untimely passing of your friend's son! :( the worst pain for a parent!

amelbeabk 09-20-2021 04:29 PM

I feel like there's two people that live in my body. The "okay" one is the guy who goes to work everyday, talks to people all day for a living and then comes home to be alone. I even have a girlfriend living with me and I just want to be alone (but with her still here). Same thing goes Kodi nox for the weekends.

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