Hi to ReginaL and :welcome: ! glad you found us :)

Flower (pat) Oh my gosh wow so scary for you, how are you managing now??? :hug: :heart:

TREEMBBS so good to hear from you and so sorry that you are struggling too . That you HAVE to hang on to take care of your husband is so hard. thinking of you!

and Hi to the other friends :)

I have wallowed long enough, I have to "fake it til i make it". and I found my old Happy Light https://verilux.com/collections/happ...py-lamps-boxes and am bombarding myself with that to see if it helps me.

kitchen renos are still at a standstill :( at least we did fix the leak on the roof I think.

I wanted to pop in and say hello.

Nothing exciting here. I'm continuing with PT. We are amping up strength conditioning on my left leg. It is very weak still. It's really hard. I'm only allowed to use my left leg in the exercises. I dread going. It is painful and hard.

Cold weather is here in the PNW. I've been winterizing my mobile. My furnace doesn't work so I've given much thought on how to heat this place up. I've worked a lot on the windows, trying to keep the cold out, warmth in. I'm proud of myself. I can be quite creative when I need to be. I need to get a couple of space heaters.

Continued

So yeah, I'm going to hang some blankets in certain parts of the mobile. I don't need to heat the entire thing.

it seems like I had something else to say....oh yeah, I've lost 15 more lbs. I'm at my lowest weight. I have really been working hard to do my best. I still have a long way to go.

Thank you for the welcome VermontMom :)

Had a pretty decent week, deep cleaned a lot of the house. My cousin came to help me. Have a funeral to go to tomorrow and some homework to catch up on. I hope everyone is having a good week. A clean home certainly helps my mind state.

Welcome to the thread.

WOW!!! :bravo: that is such an accomplishment Lisa!! congrats my friend :cp:

Yes you're wise to try to block off parts of your home you don't need to heat. For your windows, I'm guessing you did the sheets of plastic taped up, then you use a hair dryer to tighten, or something like that?

I'm sorry your physical therapy is painful and to be dreaded :( but I guess they know what they are doing and hopefully your knee will get stronger and not hurt .

Regina, you mentioned homework, are you a student? and sorry that you had (have) to attend a funeral.

Pat (flower) hoping so much you are okay!! do you have to have recurring treatments for the leukemia???

TREEMBBS I think of you often, with the hard task of taking care of your husband along with yourself!! :hug: How is your weather shaping up, you are entering Spring/Summer you lucky person you :D

Kathleen, always wanting to hear from you, how are you managing after losing your beloved doggie :hug: and how are your children?

Like I said a few days ago ( I think) I am trying so very hard not to wallow in my depression. The house is such a *&*^ wreck, the renovations I mentioned like back in late September ? almost NOTHING has progressed. Except for more mess. It's hard. I am trying to be grateful for the usual "at least I have a house", etc etc but that sh*t wears thin lol. However I think my Happy Light (light therapy) is helping some. AND I worked 20 hours this past week as a common laborer! At a jobsite, a house renovation, I did some painting, some mess removal, alot of garage clearing, up and down ladders, picking up after the contractors, Shop-vacced the whole bottom floor and upstairs, took delivery of appliances...anyway I made $20 an hour and I was proud of myself. I cashed the whole check and spread out the cash and looked at it as I did my workout this morning, haha!! to motivate me.

Holly thank you for caring. 2 days of chemo every 28 days. Cannot imagine the future with this. It's cumulative in effect and side effects. First two left me with side effects lasting 10 days. Then there is the heart condition. The leukemia chemo prevented them from doing the diagnostic procedure for that. Very chwllenging time to get leukemia, during a pandemic where help and support are extremely limited. Glad you are going back to treatment for SAD. <3

Pat: I am so very sorry that you have been diagnosed with both leukemia and a heart condition. :cry: I sure hope and pray that the chemo will do its job with minimal side effects. Please post updates when you can. Sending big hugs! :hug:

Holly: So sorry you have been dealing with depression lately. :( I am glad you posted about it, though. As you said, this group is for both Ups & Downs, so we need to share both. The amount of home renovations you need to do does sound overwhelming. Remember... one thing at a time! I know that is way easier said than done, though, especially with you and hubby having different schedules. I hope you will find a way to get a little done at a time, and I hope and pray that your depression eases up soon. 🙏💙

Lisa: Hang in there with your PT! Although it is hard and you dread it, it will be worth it in the end. My PT after my hip replacement really helped with my recovery. But I have heard that knee replacements are much harder. On a positive note, congratulations on your 15 pound weight loss! 🎉

TREEMBBS: I am sorry to hear that you are having a rough time, too. :( It is so difficult to stay strong under those circumstances when people you love depend on you. I will keep you in my prayers. 🙏

Reginaloses80:. :welcome3: Congratulations on your marriage! That must be difficult to only see your husband on weekends. You are definitely not alone in gaining weight during the Coronavirus quarantine period. I hope you will find support in this group that will help you with both your depression and weight loss.

While we are still grieving the loss of our precious Lucky, we have decided to get a new Cocker Spaniel puppy! We really want our Lucy to have a buddy and we usually have 2 (and sometimes 3) dogs at a time. We tried for several adoptions of various pups without success. Then we happened upon a litter of Cocker Spaniel puppies who were born at the end of September. (Lucky was a Cocker Spaniel.) He is currently in Iowa and is 4 weeks old today. We are having a guy named "Pop," who looks and sounds like Santa Claus, transport him to us on November 23rd, when the pup will be 8 weeks old. We have seen photos of him and he is adorable. No dog will ever replace Lucky, but we are excited to get a new puppy. The only thing I am not looking forward to is house training (especially in the cold weather) and the lack of sleep that will go along with it. I love my sleep... lol! We have a few names that we like and all agree on now, but nothing picked out for sure yet.

Not sure if I mentioned that I have been struggling with a lot of anxiety for several months now. It has always been a big issue for me, but it has been heightened lately. My psychiatrist recommended that I go back to counseling and I know I would benefit from it, but the thought of adding more appointments to my calendar gives me more anxiety. Plus, I would have to start over with a new therapist, and it seems like it takes so long to establish a good relationship and explain my background and issues. I actually dread it, so I have put it off since he recommended it in June. I don't know how he is gonna react when I tell him I haven't gone back to therapy at my appointment with him in December. That also gives me anxiety. Pretty much everything does. :(

That's about all I have to report about me right now. I hope this message finds you all doing a bit better by the time you read it. :hug:

Oh Pat we are so worried for you :cry: Such serious conditions and the COVID restrictions making everything so much harder to deal with. And can the diagnostic work on the heart condition be done soon??? it is awful to have TWO major scary health conditions at one time!! no one should have that :( I am so sorry my friend. Is there any kind of hospital-related home support available?? I am thinking of you Pat :hug:

Kathleen How exciting for you, about procuring the new addition to the family! :D and yes so Lucy can have a companion again, tell me, is she showing anxiety at the loss of Lucky also? poor doggie. LOL @ your description of the man who is going to transport the puppy! But very sorry to hear of your anxiety. And that it is creating MORE anxiety for you, worrying about finding another therapist. I hope so much you can find someone who can help :hug:and thank you for your heart-felt feelings towards our well-being, it always helps to know someone is thinking and praying for one .

Lisa I hope you are doing well, how often is it that you have to go to physical therapy? hope you're getting stronger every day, you already know you are lighter!! :cheer2:

TREEMBS Hi and hope you are coping :hug:

Regina I hope you are doing okay and we would love to hear more about you :wave:

I am trying my best to remain positive about everything . Again, I know I keep bringing up the subject of our supposed renovations :rolleyes: I feel like such a idiot and feeling duped, that I thought this could actually happen. or that it could happen with at least a semblence of progression. NOTHING has progressed. Money has been spent and there are sh*t piles of materials in the way in our tiny house andyet NO progress. And I am made to feel shamed if I try to ask, 'are you going to do any work in the kitchen today?' because he works nights, comes home exhausted (also because he is more than 100 lbs overweight) and has to sleep for at least 6 hours; then an hour to 'wake up' and by that time, it's past 4 in the afternoon and then the focus is on preparing dinner and then the mental preparing of going back to work at 9. It sucks. but thank you all for listening.

Like i think i mentioned before, I dragged out my Happy Light (therapy light) and have been blasting myself with that . At least i can get out of bed before 7:30 now.

Holly: Lucy is doing okay after losing Lucky. She is a very independent dog. But she has been laying around and sleeping a lot more than usual. Although having a tiny, energetic puppy around will most likely be an adjustment for her, I think she will like having a new companion around in the long run. Also, I have always heard that having a younger pup around helps to keep the older dog "young." Lucy will be 8 on November 4th, which is hard to believe because she still has lots of energy. That is also why it is sad and unusual to see her laying around and sleeping so much since Lucky died.

I am sorry that you aren't making any progress on your home renovations. That must be frustrating for you. I hope that your light therapy is helping some with your depression.

Hello to everyone else! :wave:

Since I am up way past midnight and thought of all of you, I went ahead and started the November thread. For any new people, we start a new group thread every month. Please join us at November 2020 Ups & Downs Support Group! :smug:

Feeling down can be hard, especially in times like these when you can't be as social. The important thing is that you have your husband and if you're newly married it gives you an opportunity to bond and get closer to each other. Talk to him about how you feel and what you are going through. If he's not good with "a lot of feelings" just start the conversation saying he doesn't have to say anything just listen and be understanding is all you need.