|
December 2018 Ups and Down Depression Support
:welcome: !! we are a small but mighty group of friends supporting each other through the ups and downs of our lives. You can visit and talk as much or as little as you wish :)
Our 'winter wonderland' is now looking like regular dreary winter, all the clinging snow was washed off in the hard rain yesterday but we still have a foot on the ground. But no snow on the roofs :carrot: we shoveled like crazy on Saturday to get it off before the weight was a concern. I'm trying hard to change my attitude about the new job, I need to just stop stressing about being so clumsy and slow at some things. I haven't been chastised or talked to about my performance..and I am truly trying my best and have a good attitude..so I will just try to chill. |
Holly thanks for making this Dec. thread. Glad you got your roof shoveled before the rain. I heard a new 3 month forecast for the country. Northeast slightly warmer than average. Southeast wetter than normal, (which might effect us?). I think he said that an el Nino pattern has set up. The warmer and wetter than normal pattern. Re work, I can understand the delema. You went from something you were gifted at. Maybe this is an advaced, aka kick-a$$ course in accepting yourself even when you are not performing up to the self imposed standards? If so, then this is quite a learning opportunity on a pretty deep and very challenging level. You seem so cognitive of the patterns you that are being challenged. That's great. You seem very self aware. So cudos for all of that! Lisa you are a good mom to Elvira. How us she doing? I hope better. |
good morning friends!
flower we are so lucky to have you here :) what a great philosophical way to interpret what I am feeling. I have always known that I do not like change, I like my comfortable ruts, and I am a follower, not a leader, and I want to quit when things get hard. All things that are giving me a little shake :D and I am adjusting. Thank you for the insight!!! Your hand made cards sound so beautiful, lucky recipients to receive them! did you need more hints on how to post pics here? It is so nice to see some sun :sunny: here!!! we have't seen it in, oh gosh at least a week. It is pretty darned cold though, well it has *warmed up* to 8 degrees, up from 3. EddieDog is such a champ about letting us put his booties on, it's the only way he can endure going outside to do his business, when it is around 0 degrees. And he walks around the house in them too, it is especially good to keep him from injuring his skin when he wants to scratch. Hello to Lisa, Coop, Kathleen, Monica, PandaCupcake! FINALLY yesterday I had a good session at work on the new station that was driving me crazy. It helped that there was a good supply of backup product for the assembler on the line to use, instead of relying solely on me to produce. So that took so much pressure off. Also I am just getting more 'handy' with attaching the screws. I am not ashamed to say that I use cookies as a bribe :D and handed a bag of 3 sugar cookies to the guy who has been patient with me and thanked him and said i was trying my best. He was happily surprised! The tiny bit of snow that accumulated last night is so light and powdery, due to the temperature, it just "poofs" away if you blow on it, too bad it isn't always this light! so light to push off the driveway. Vermont legalized marijuana for home / private use, you can grow a couple plants and do what you want with it in your own home. Husband and I haven't cared about it since we were teenagers, but because he loves to grow things as much as I, started a few plants because we have the indoor grow lights already. I have gotten so frustrated with my interrupted sleep because of the foot/ankle/leg cramps lately, and the new schedule, that I was desperate. Husband had to youtube 'how to roll a joint' because it's been so long :rofl: I had half of one last night, and nothing crazy happened, just 'mellow' enough to go to bed and SLEPT SOLID FOR 5 HOURS which I haven't done in forever!!! hooray for cannabis :carrot: |
4 nights ago I slipped down my neighbors steps and dislocated my left knee cap.
|
Oh no LIsa !! that is terrible!! how are you getting around??
|
Quote:
I might try to take a couple outfits to the laundry mat. I have no clean clothes. |
Lisa: I am SO sorry that you fell and really hurt yourself!!! :( How scary! I hope you will be pain-free soon. I also hope and pray that you will find a way to have the lesion (or whatever it is) removed from Elvira, since ~ as you said ~ it needs to be done. I will pray for a solution. Did you check the resource Pat/Flower mentioned? You have me intrigued about the possible exciting things on the horizon. I hope they come to fruition. Let us know asap!
|
I just finished reading through all of the posts since I last posted. I had just had an MRI when I last posted, and it showed that my hip socket is bone on bone and that I have extensive arthritis in my right hip, along with cysts... one that is pretty large and concerning. He said that the only cure is a hip replacement... and that I need one within the next year... the sooner, the better. His x-rays also showed the beginnings of arthritis in my left hip, and he said the sooner I have a right hip replacement, it will help to balance me out and slow the progression of arthritis in my left hip. After hearing this dreadful news, my husband researched the hormone therapy drug that I have been on for 3 and a half years to prevent a recurrence of breast cancer, and ~ sure enough ~ it accelerates arthritis, attacks the joints, and reduces bone density. We knew about the bone density part and that it could make my joints ache, but the bottom line is that I have to be on it to prevent breast cancer recurrence. Protocol calls for me to be on the drug for 10 years, but hubby did some research and some say that 7 years is adequate, so I need to discuss this with my oncologist. I am extremely bummed about the thought of a hip replacement, but at least they did rule out cancer from the MRI. So I need to keep things in perspective. I just dread another surgery after having so many after the breast cancer and all of the problems and surgeries with the reconstruction. But it HAS to be done. I asked for a cortisone shot, which he gave me, but it didn't help at all. In fact, I think it made things worse... which people have since told me can happen. Since I had the cortisone shot, I have to wait at least 3 months to have surgery due to risk of infection. I am scheduled with another orthopedic surgeon for a second opinion on January 31st (earliest I could get in because he is in high demand, so I hope that means he is good!). I wasn't at all crazy about the first guy's bedside manner. So I hope I like the second guy better. He specializes in anterior hip replacements, where they enter through the front, which is supposed to have a quicker and easier recovery. I am hoping to get scheduled for surgery in early March if possible. So there is more info on hip replacements than any of you care to know... but that's the latest with me. I had to completely stop PT at the rehab place. They gave me home exercises, but I am only allowed to do them if they don't hurt... and, unfortunately, they often do hurt. I am getting practically no movement in at all, except daily walking, which I intentionally keep to a minimum because it causes pain. So I am extremely concerned about potential weight gain until I can get this hip replaced. Basically, I am a mess right now. :(
|
Quote:
IBelieveinme2 so sorry that you need a hip replacement. Sounds like you found a surgeon who works in a way that minimizes recovery time. Sending healing thoughts go you hi Holly and everyone else. i have been having a difficult time with the holidays, trying to pay monthly bills, afford the supplements to manage the chronic strep and eat healthfully. My chiropractor whom I went to for years just dumped me because she was giving me a special price. After years of billing Medicare she told me she could no longer bill to them for me. She said Medicare is cracking down on needed maintence. They want proof the patient is improving. My physical situation is not about improvement. It's about keeping it from getting worse. So the practice owner decided to charge me the poor person's scaled rate. My chiropractor left the practice with one week notice to me. She assured me over and again that she would continue treating me for similar price. We had 3 conversations about it in person and via email. She completely assured me she would not drop me.p because I cannot pay much. I called to make the apt, as she suggested. No call back. 6 days later I got an email. She decided not to lower her fee for anyone. Cya. She was unusuially gifted at helping me. Best chiropractor I ever found. It hurts my heart how people are like this when others are so down and out, But it is what it is. That and another much bigger blow came within an hour of each other. Sorry for sounding so down. Hope everyone has a good Monday |
I had an interesting day. It took me all day to figure out how to reapply for help with my prescription medicine.
Thank goodness I mad enough calls to figure it all out. The really good news: Starting on Jan 1st, I have a whole new medical insurance plan that kicks I and which offers me some really exciting benefits. I'LL tell you all about them later but I am so excited. |
Lisa - we are hoping you are dealing with the hurt knee alright, and super excited about your good news!!! Everyone deserves some good news once in a while don't we!! :cheer2: and we are still sending our love to Ms. Elvira :)
|
Kathleen it is SO good to 'see' you here :hug: but with such sobering news!!! how crummy is it that a medicine that helps you so much in one way (defying death!!) can injure your body in other ways :( and that you have to make decisions like that. It is so unfair that you have to deal with these medical issues my friend!!! :( we love you and are hoping so much for the best for you. we always like to hear how your dear daughter and son are doing too, hopefully well!! much love and good thoughts to you Kathleen!!
|
Pat that is so wrong :?: for the chiropractor to promise you what you needed to hear and then to just vacate!! I am so sorry you have to deal with that, plus other financial burdens. Life is SO much easier and joyous when you don't have that constant worry of 'how am I going to afford what we need' or 'is that check gonna bounce' :( Life should not be like that!! espcially around the holidays when the forced Christmas cheer and merriment and excess is everywhere. I hope so much some kind of miracle occurs for you, in finding another chiropractor's care :hug: and sending light and love towards dealing with the other blow.
and we are HERE for each other even when we have crummy news or are feeling crummy. because we ARE the Ups and Downs. I would feel selfish and rude sometimes when I would post when I felt awesome, knowing that others weren't! ..but I would equally post when I was sad and it is always accepted. |
Quote:
My knee aches so bad. Ibuprofen and Ben Gay does bring some comfort. How is your job going? Are you settling into your hours? |
Kathleen I am so incredibly sorry that things are tough right now.
How is your daughter? Is she like still in school. I feel like you are between a rock and a hard place. I wish I could help you. Bring you some comfort in some way. It's hard for me to know that you are struggling. I don't handle pain well. The longer it goes on my mental health suffers. You sound so down. :( |
Quote:
You're drinking? I sense it bothers you. Alcohol isn't great for you if on medicine. I splurge once in a while. You are in my thoughts, Flower. |
Quote:
re what I wrote, oops and holy moly! I meant to post that on my thread I have in the depression section. I am going to remove it now from here and put it where I intended. Re drinking bothering me, Because my mother is an alcoholic, I generally stay away from drinking. But I have alcohol in the apt. I usually am not interested. I am on no medication that interferes. OMG my post must have been so weird to read here, :lol: I am now going to remove the post and put it where it rightfully belongs, lol. Thanks for the response of caring. How are you physically doing after the fall? |
Quote:
How are things going with your job? Your son? I love how warm the weather was on Friday. It felt so good. |
Lisa - I'm so glad to hear Elvira's incision is healing and that you can splurge a little on soft dog food for her medicine to go down easier :) you are so loving to her! I hope YOUR injury heals soon so you are not in pain!!! :hug: I am also hoping for maybe some unexpected windfall ($) to allow for mailing the gifts to Jennifer!
Pat - I admit I was also slightly worried hearing about the alcohol but then I read more closely and read that you had the 2 bottles in your house for decades before touching them :rofl: sounds like you are in complete control :D It was wonderful that you received unexpected funds to let you mail your lovely cards to the recipients. Yes wasn't it nice to have some slightly mild weather!! (everything is relative...to us, 'mild weather' means above 32 degrees and not snowing Yes, I *think* I am finally settling into the new job!! because now when I drive to work, my stomach doesn't get clenchy and tied-up feeling. I am really REALLY trying to embrace the 'just go with the flow' theory. I can actually go online and check what my schedule each day will be, employees can do that, but then I know I would just get all uptight worrying if I saw I was being put on a new station. There's nothing I can do about it, so I might as well not know about it til the last second. Oh! and after me having such a hard couple times on my newest station, now I like it :D and I just needed to give it time. BUt that is so hard for me to accept at the time. Now I am so quick at it, and enjoy it, I have actually gone over the 'recommended shop average' ! Yet before I get too cocky about it, I DID make 2 boneheaded errors twice on Friday :rofl: at least now, I can look at it, think "that is scewy and not right, what the heck did I do" and take it apart and do it right before putting it in the 'ready to use' bin. We (husband and I) are still struggling with trying to get information from our younger son, he just DOESN'T talk about what is going on with his marriage, and on top of that, is being very uncommunicative about Christmas plans. It's so hard not to be nagging about it!!! I know no one wants to be nagged by their mom or dad but we need info to make schedules and plans. Again...maybe i need to just 'go with the flow' :rolleyes: Yesterday we drove over 2 hours one way, to attend the service for a man who was our State Motorcycle Riders Foundation representative, and a CHAMPION for Veteran's rights and fundraiser for homeless veterans. His name was Monty Springer and he was in a horrific car accident (not motorcycle related) in October and had just too many injuries and burns to survive. He clung to life for as long as he could but passed a couple weeks ago. He did so much for his fellow veterans and for motorcyclists. And loved his family, he leaves a teenage son. Well there wasn't a dry eye anywhere after people got up to speak about him. I *thought* I was prepared because I have gotten used to public speaking, when at the Toy Run (with a crowd of 500) or at the Harley Raffle; but this was so different. My heart was pounding and I was trying very hard to pace my breathing and speaking so I wouldn't be speaking too fast. I guess I did alright, afterwards a big burly biker came up to me and said he didn't have the b@lls to get in front of everyone and speak, and that I "did right by Monty" . It did make for a long day, the 4+ hours of driving, but we were very glad we did. Love you all! :hug: and so glad we are here for each other |
Lisa I dont know how, but I missed the post you wrote about Elvira's wound healing, and your knee. . So glad to read that her incision is healing. How is your knee doing? I hope its in less pain now. Holly, lol, I am not a very dedicated drinker. The half bottle the neighbor gave me is still in the refrigerator. I bought some soda water to go with it. Drank some of that. But never got around to drinking the wine. My addiction is food. That's bad enough lol. I take a naturopathic supplement for a genetic condition I have that effects the brain. I bought a new bottle of the supplement and did not put it in the right place. Thus completely forgetting to take it for maybe three weeks. I realized it two days ago. Now back on the supplement. So maybe this is why I was doing so poorly over the past weeks. That and the time of year. And the other concern$. But I will be fine. I always am. awesome that you are experiencing successes in the work. Woohoo. I think I understand why its been so challenging for you. You were accustomed to being on top of your game working in the food industry. Now its a whole different set of skills. like moving to a foreign country and expecting oneself to be fluent in the language, and to perfectly know their way around way before its possible. So yay for those successes, and that ease, amidst the "errors". They are lucky to have such a good and intelligent employee! Sorry your son is being so pulled in these days. As a mom it can be challenging to make space for that. Especially when it involves Christmas plans. I hope he can find ways to let out his feelings. :( Condolences re the State Motorcycle Riders Foundation representative, Monty who finally succumbed to injuries. How very sad. And he was a champion for Veterans. We need more people like him. People who care, and know how to get things done. What courage you had to get up and speak at his memorial service. I know about the tendency to speak fast when public speaking. But you compensated for it. What a gift from your heart to have spoken. I bet Monty's family was grateful. And they will be well supported emotionally by the biker community in the coming months and years. I got all my gifts mailed out. Just have two more to go now. But they are local. okay, maybe three. Have to drive to the next town to deliver a gift to my MD. So glad that gift making is done. But now my cousin in Florida wrote to me and asked if she could buy some of my "enchanted trees collection" those are intricate to make. Takes around 45 minutes per card. So I will be still be a busy woman making them :lol: . That's okay. Of course I will not charge her much. She's a relative. I hope you both/all have a great week. And Lisa, I hope Elvira and your knee are both recovering well. |
Hi ladies,
My knee bothers me a lot when I over do it. I put my tree up after having it sit in my living room for 10 days. It is big and I got totally overwhelmed. I worked on it today and put 3 strings of lights on it. It's bright. lol I'm going to Christmas eve service on Monday night. My friends invited me over on christmas day so I won't be alone all day. I wasn't able to send Jennifer her gifts. :( I'LL try to post again before Christmas day. Much love to all. |
Quote:
Elvira is doing good. Her wound is healing and closing up. I still have some of her pills so if it gets bad again, I can put her back on them. My knee still bothers me when I over due it. I'm glad you got your gifts out. I wasn't able to. I bawled my eyes out the other day. I want to be a good mom and I always feel like I fail. That makes me cry all the time. I just want Jennifer to feel like we have a good relationship. |
Holly,
I hope you are ok. I bet you are kicking *** at work. I am so proud of you. Changing to a totally different job and shift just shows how resilient you are. Much love to all you ladies!!! |
Oh Lisa you ARE a good mother but I'm so sorry you got so upset about that. It shows you are a caring mother!!
Your tree must be nice!! and I'm so glad you will be with friends on Christmas . And I love your praise of me with trying to handle the new job :) Flower - thank you for your wonderful and insightful words! I think you 'nailed it' about me struggling with not being 'on top of my game' currently. I don't know why I get so instantly upset when I don't 'get' something right away. I know they don't expect that and I have not received one negative word regarding that. Just my own hangup lol. can you describe what your 'enchanted trees' cards are like?? I have four days off!! Yesterday, today, and Monday and Tuesday. I brought bags of cookies in for co-workers, supervisors, etc. It is strange how some people know how to react properly (by that, I mean saying Thank You) and some people don't even say anything! very impolite. Whatever. I got my pleasure from making them and giving them. There was one guy, his position is called "Small Parts" and he keeps track of all the parts that we use, gets huge carts of them from the warehouse, and stocks them. It is an all day job. He is a little scary in appearance to an older person like me :rofl: big neck tattoo, says the Eff word alot, just seems kind of rough in nature? Well he walked all around the production floor looking for me, to shake my hand and say "Thank You". Wasn't that nice??? and here I was pre-judging him on his looks and his use of the Eff word :D and he was the one who gave me the most sincere thanks. That was pretty cool! |
Quote:
I am so deeply sorry you have been in so much pain about this. There is no way you can control your financial situation. If it were up to you, you would be there with Jennifer. Gifts in hand. This is your greatest heart desire at this time. The financial situation is out if your control. You had to choose medical bills. And I am fully convinced that there was no other wise choice other than physical wellness of your fur babies over a plane ticket. Although this put you in a very difficult and painful place. Not being able to be with your Jennifer for Christmas. This does not diminish the fact that you are a good mom. You do not have enough money. This doesn't diminish that you are a good mom. <3. Yes, yes, yes you are a good mom. But a very sad mom because you cannot be with your dear daughter. And you cannot get her gift to her on time. I wish ease for your hurting heart. And compassion for the part of you who thinks you are anything less than a good mom <3. Please keep writing about how you feel. My words are not to diminish your pain. But to add a voice to truth, you are a good mom <3 |
Quote:
I hear ya re the guy with the appearance that is scary. I suspect sometimes the most sensitive people may choose off-putting appearance. I too would have felt similar to you. So glad you got to see who he is under the armor. I had to chuckle when you talked about how some people did not even say thank you. I notice those things as well. My brother and his wife did not even acknowledge receipt of my very gift to them. That's par. They rarely if ever do. They love the cards and always want them. But will not thank me or even tell me they got it. Same with my other brother's widow. She too loves the cards and looks forward to getting them. But there is not even an acknowledgement of receipt. Yes, I know by USPS tracking that the packages were delivered. But never bother to thank me or say they received it. I cannot imagine that kind of rudeness. Its so far from who I am. But it is part of who they are. I am never quite positive if a porch pirate took the gifts. But each year I eventually ask (awkward) and find out that they rec'd the gift. Even a friend did not acknowledge she got the cards. Sigh. It puts me in an awkward position. Because I can contact the PO and collect the default insurance if the pkg was not rec'd. But I would have to ask my friend. Awkward, lol. A neighbor I had just met left me a box of homemade beautiful Christmas cookies. They were santa cookies. Flooded. So beautiful!!! Within 24 hours I left a thank you note and a bag of my homemade Christmas candy, for her boyfriend and her. That's how I am. I have to thank people ASAP, if not sooner, :lol: Re the enchanted tree cards. They do not photograph well. Because of the one of the materials I use on the card. But I am glad to send photos to you (and Lisa if she wants) in pm. I do not have the kind of tablet you described that makes it easy to upload a pic. I have a pc and an ipad. So I am not sure how to post pics here/in pm. Tech support please :rofl: I hope you are having a good 4 days off. And am wishing you much love and joy for Christmas. |
My daughter got engaged today!!!! :)
|
Lisa that is SO awesome! Comgrations to her, him...and you! |
Lisa that is so exciting! Congratulations to her, him and you!
Flower it is sadly unbelievable that the in-laws actually ask for your beautiful, time-consuming hand made gifts, then don't even acknowledge them!! You are the bigger person in spirit for not shutting down that exchange! I can imagine that the creation of the items is where you derive your joy. Their acceptance/acknowledgement bad behavior is on them, not you...it surely is wonderful if people respond in an appropriate, socially-acceptable way (by saying THANK YOU, how hard is that?!) |
Thanks Holly. Honestly, it's more that I worry about porch pirates getting the pkg. so when I dont hear from them, I never know if they got the gifts. I think the greatest gift of this little thread community is no one rejects the other person because they are feeling depressed or challened. Rejection during those times feels, to me like a slam to the chest. So I am grateful to all the sensitive caring souls here! I never feel rejected. Lisa. I hope your .Christmas went okay even though you were far from where your heart needed to be. |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:34 PM. |
Copyright © 2026 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.