Originally Posted by Coop27 (Post 5358987)

Panda - I'm so sorry your ex disrupted your week like that! I think sometimes exes like to tease us along, but it's not fair on you to have him blowing hot and cold like this. Do you think you'll respond? I would completely understand if you chose not to - your energy is better spent continuing the fantastic life changes you've been working on!

Hope you have a great few days off - so you have anything planned?

Originally Posted by PandaCupcake (Post 5358912)

Hi everyone,
I haven’t been posting lately and not fully caught up on everyone’s updates-
However I did have some good ups past weekend and today, which helps a bit with my mood.
Still struggling though.
Anyway, I just took some meds and watching some youtube video of someone’s vacation trip /review, and it was entertaining and relaxing- until my screen popped a message from my ex fiancé.

I last saw him in Feb, and last heard from him 2 months ago after he sent a text saying he can’t see me anymore. That was all he wrote and I didn’t bother to reply. Now tonight out of the blue he texts me to ask how I have been. I don’t want to reply. He had responsibilities and chose to abandon me instead of upholding to try to fix problems he caused to my life. Things are not the greatest for me but past couple days have had some ups- he doesn’t deserve the piece of mind to know that I am managing at the moment despite everything.

Originally Posted by lisaloveshearts (Post 5359014)

Bad, bad day today. I fell apart.

Felt so incredibly worthless. A total failure.

Originally Posted by PandaCupcake (Post 5358989)

Hi! I am not planning to respond to my ex at all. His text was sent after 11pm and seemed so random.

I had this Monday off and I packed a full day of errands and so I left home around 10am and returned home at 10pm. My next day off is a friday later in the month and I haven’t planned anything but it may include unpacking summer clothing!

Originally Posted by lisaloveshearts (Post 5359014)

Bad, bad day today. I fell apart.

Felt so incredibly worthless. A total failure.

Originally Posted by Livi29 (Post 5359054)

Hey all, is it okay if I jump in? I'm new to the forum, very much not new to depression and anxiety. Its a unique kind of hurdle when our own minds turn against us... I need to wage a war with my brain to accomplish so many seemingly simple things and nutrition and fitness have not been at the top of my list. But I know they need to be, because my physical health is intricately tied to my mental health and I can't ignore either of them any longer if I want to stop feeling to awful all the time.

Originally Posted by PandaCupcake (Post 5359048)

Lisa, I am sorry you are going through a rough time.
You are not a failure, but I have some days where I feel badly about my life, regrets about past decisions, bitterness over things I had no control over, and just a sense of hopelessness. I feel for you and wish you peace and better days.

Originally Posted by Coop27 (Post 5359058)

Lisa, I'm so sorry you're having such an awful day :( I hope your cloud will pass soon. Please let us know if there's anything at all we can do to help you. I definitely don't think you're a failure at all! You've been so incredibly brave and inspirational this whole time I've been in the forum!

Originally Posted by Livi29 (Post 5359054)

Hey all, is it okay if I jump in? I'm new to the forum, very much not new to depression and anxiety. Its a unique kind of hurdle when our own minds turn against us... I need to wage a war with my brain to accomplish so many seemingly simple things and nutrition and fitness have not been at the top of my list. But I know they need to be, because my physical health is intricately tied to my mental health and I can't ignore either of them any longer if I want to stop feeling to awful all the time.

Originally Posted by lisaloveshearts (Post 5359077)

I'm fuzzy-headed today. I'm tired.

I have a knee appointment at 3:40 pm. I'm about to take off for that.

I just wanted to tell you my therapist called me and we talked. I'm calmer but I feel like a zombie.

I see her tomorrow.