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-   -   Depression/weight gain ruining my relationship (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/depression-weight-issues/313646-depression-weight-gain-ruining-my-relationship.html)

Marshie 07-11-2017 09:20 PM

Depression/weight gain ruining my relationship
 
Hello friends.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years. We've always gotten along great, had a good sex life, etc... But ever since I started gaining weight due to binge eating, everything is going to **** between us. I'm apathetic about everything due to the depression, and I'm not fun to be around anymore. I have no sex drive and dread being naked in front of him because of my body. Honestly I think if this continues I'm going to lose him, but I'm so deep in depression I can't stop eating and thus the cycle continues...

Has anyone else damaged/lost relationships over weight problems?

HydraWoman 07-22-2017 01:56 PM

Big Hugs to you, Marshie. Perhaps if you sat down with your boyfriend and let him know how you are feeling and you two can work together to help you feel better thus strengthening your relationship. It is very challenging to accomplish even small tasks when in a depressive state, I have ptsd and bipolar disorder so I am speaking from my experience not saying that you are this way. Good luck to you and take good care of you!

qualityinfo 07-26-2017 02:28 PM

I understand how you feel. I would suggest to focus more on the cause of why you are gaining weight which is "depression". Once your mood is stable, you will feel motivated to do something about losing weight. And also once your depression is treated, there is a possibility that you'll stop binge eating too. Gaining weight is not only the possible cause of affecting your relationship, it can be your condition because your moods can create a negative effect to your spouse. Try to go for counseling also so that your husband will understand your condition and can come up with solutions on how to cope with the changes in your life.

EagleRiverDee 08-01-2017 12:34 PM

Are you seeking treatment in some fashion? If not, please do. Also, depression responds amazingly well to mild exercise. Consider just walking for a 15 minutes a day to start, ideally when it's brightest out. And consider yoga also, as it's very relaxing. You don't have to do a lot of either one- it shouldn't feel overwhelming. Add what you can do for now, and add more later as you feel better.

I concur with the other person who said you need to tell your BF what you're going through so that he has an opportunity to help in whatever way he can.

1Bluerose68 09-19-2017 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marshie (Post 5322510)
Hello friends.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years. We've always gotten along great, had a good sex life, etc... But ever since I started gaining weight due to binge eating, everything is going to **** between us. I'm apathetic about everything due to the depression, and I'm not fun to be around anymore. I have no sex drive and dread being naked in front of him because of my body. Honestly I think if this continues I'm going to lose him, but I'm so deep in depression I can't stop eating and thus the cycle continues...

Has anyone else damaged/lost relationships over weight problems?

See your shrink about a med evaluation for a new drug. I was on a few and found that some make a person eat foods they wouldn't normally eat, other drugs make me retain extra salt water and then the best 1's I have combated depression plus lost a lot of weight and hjust binge a few times a month....Now on Welbutrin at highest level 450 mg a day plus an herbal at night to relax and sleep and reduce likelihood of night binge episodes too...Good luck in your weight loss recovery. It takes discipline and exercise is a good idea too.....

SSnooze 09-29-2017 06:55 PM

Read motivation books or listen to podcasts. I have found TED talks very useful to find an answer to life circumstances. I'm not a professional but are you eating to feel good about? Or is it about the relationship that led you to eating more?

Either way its best to accept where you are and think of one tiny thing that you are proud of...it could be your recent or the way you looked great some time back. Be proud of what you accomplished. Start writing down what next you would love to do. Enjoy life :)

MuntyH0pe 10-26-2017 05:51 AM

what your bf thinks abotu your weight gaining? it bother only you ot him too? if you feel unhppy in your body then you need to change the situation

Ekm1312 10-28-2017 08:48 PM

Hi,
Yes I have had this happen in two relationships. My depression and weight gain are linked, so they always say it isn’t the weight gain that ruined the relationship but rather the fact that I am so miserable because I gained the weight. But it’s so hard to believe. I am currently trying to lose the weight again because I have this idea that maybe if he sees me again looking like I did when we met, he’ll want me back. Of course, I am also just a lot happier with myself when I am in shape. I have treatment resistant depression and had an under-eating disorder as a teenager that changed to a binge disorder in my 20’s and it continues in my 30’s. Binging makes you feel so bad about yourself that it really takes a toll on your ability to be social and have a real life. Anyway, I don’t really have any tips because I have not been able to come around the other side of it yet but I’m hopinh I can and that I can have a lasting relationship.

Mrs. Fat 11-01-2017 10:55 AM

Weight issues and depression are often closely interrelated and commonly have their origin in early life trauma. Unresolved early issues lead to unconscious self-sabotage.

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railey 12-22-2023 10:51 AM

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a challenging time. It's important to prioritize your mental health. If you're facing issues like depression or weight gain, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. Additionally, discussions with your partner about your feelings and concerns could strengthen your relationship. On another note, if you have health-related questions, consulting a healthcare professional about products like eroxon gel might be beneficial.

ChristopherSims 03-29-2024 11:28 AM

Very sorry to hear about your situation, hope you got over it


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