This is a great little group, we are a very supportive bunch. Glad to have you!!!

Good for your you regarding your weight loss; that's great!! I read recently that self praise is good for reinforcing good habits. I bet you are super proud; im proud of you!

I'm sorry to hear about your friend That's very sad.

My apologies...I am reading and following everyone's progress, but cannot respond to each right now.

Thank you all for your support and kind words. And for posting about yourselves...I like reading about everyone's experiences. Wishing you all a wonderful Friday!

The work situation I was dreading, that I previous mentioned, worked out in my favour. I came upon the information that someone (a peer) spent some time thinking about what other people should be doing, how everyone else should change in specific ways, etc and was very secretive about it.

Like I said,I love working in my own personal bubble and don't get involved in nonsense that sometimes goes on. In general it's a good place to be employed...maybe even great. I prefer to work instead of talk and I've been able to do so successfully over the last few years, while maintaining friendly, supportive work relationships with others.

Anyway, I was on my way home and someone came up to me and said...Oh do you know you are now going to be doing XYZ? Everyone knows it. Anyway obviously this person wanted to engage in some drama and I excused myself and continued on my way home. All the while fighting back tears.

This original person is my peer and always make a their opinions known. Someone I liked and respected for a few reasons. But they have no power over me or what I do. I felt hurt because I'm currently going through a ton of personal stuff and have been successful in not letting it affect me at work. And this person's deceptiveness just sort of broke me in that moment.

I decided to just let things play out and not mention anything to my boss unless this change came to fruition. Like I said this peer had no power in our organization. I have no idea why they were spending their work time restructuring things that have nothing to do with them. Instead of you know...working.

Anyways I didn't let on like I knew and just let things play out. I figured my boss would have my back if these "plans" surfaced. I am grateful that I didn't even need to compromise. I said nothing, let things play out and I was in an even better position in the end. It didn't stop this person from interrupting my new work situation for a week straight saying how they had had a plan and thought it was a better idea than the way things had turned out. I just acted dumb.

Anyway, so the whole situation was so stupid and gave me even worse anxiety for two weeks straight. I felt blindsided and hurt and worried. But I read a Bible passage the other morning...from Psalm 34 (I think) about asking God for peace (which I had). The study notes mentioned trying your best not to war or retaliate against others while waiting for peace and it really hit home.

My colleague is still being very vocal and annoying. Doesn't see that they did any thing wrong...keeps on pushing to restructure things (they have moved on to other targets). I don't know what all of the sudden possessed this person. Like they have an image of what everyone in the world should do, say, feel and is fighting to have everyone play the part they have assigned them. Sorry I'm being so vague; its just for privacy reasons. Anyway about the passage...I had been extremely angry at this person and couldn't stop thinking about it. I finally meditated on it and realized I'm sad that I don't have any close friends in life, am lonely during this stressful period of my life, and felt that this person's deception was like a rejection of me and cementing the fact that Im alone. I also realized that this person in general is wired this way...doesn't care what others want or how they see the world. And no amount of hate on my part was going to change that.

Bingeing - I had done well for a week or so and then last week relapsed. But it was different, I practiced mindfulness during each binge and because in the moment i realized i didn't like the food, was full etc. each session became a mini binge instead of an epic one.

I finished reading Brain Over Binge and finally understood. I've been binge free for a week now...and this week was way more stressful. The premise is that we need to dismiss the urge to binge and eat adequately, that we dont have to have all our problems resolved before recovering. It's interesting to read. I dont really have the urge to binge anymore and Im hoping that continues. Im also realizing how restrictive my eating has been these last few years which was a shock to me...I thought I was just being health conscious.

My next employment counselling appointment is next week. I'm excited!

Cinnamonhearts - first, kudos to you for not falling into the trap that peer was trying to bait you into! you played it cool and things worked out in your favor, that is incredibly great Second, congrats on being very in-control of not bingeing badly!

your statement 'I prefer to work instead of talk', oh my gosh, we are sisters from a different mother, lol, that is me!! and it is a struggle sometimes balancing that with trying to maintain friendly yet professional relationships with co-workers. One reason why i LOVE my summer job so much, there is usually only 1 other person in the kitchen with me.

Hi to JesikaBeth, I am wishing you and your wife EXTREME motivation and will power to cease the smoking, I will be your biggest cheerleader as you know , the reformed smokers are the worst to pester you I am sorry to hear you had a bad week, breaking down crying is no fun but I hope the beach visit 'resets' you

My eyes are still healing really well but I'm still not allowed to do strenuous things or get around dust. That rules out working outside, or cleaning up in here!! frustrating. But it's really cruddy outside anyway, drizzly, gray, and 43 degrees, I wouldn't want to be outside anyway.

but doing nothing is not good for my head, it brings back alot of overwhelming depressive feelings. I just have to get through it.

thanks for the kindness about the passing of our friend, it is so hard to accept.

HI to everyone else, Lisa, Kathleen, Coop, Monica, Britt! and new member Tanderson75

HI ladies,

I'm here but not really up to posting. My moods aren't bad, i'm just not up to talking much.


Hopefully, soon, I'll be up to just jumping in and doing some personals.


Much love to you all.

Hey Lisa hope to see you here again soon!!! and everyone else

I've had 3 days in a row of doing so little, it was awful. The weather has been miserable, and even if it was nice, I'm still not supposed to do anything to risk getting dust or dirt in my eye, and no heavy lifting. And my husband sleeps during the day because he works at night, so I can't tackle any clean-out jobs like i usually do this time of year. Plus the dust issue

this is what I've been doing - up by 7:00 a.m., coffee, take Eddie out, computer, workout for 40 minutes (yay for small things) computer, go back to bed at noon, get up 3 pm, computer, eat dinner, TV, bed. No I don't go to bed because I'm tired or need the sleep! i just don't want to do anything else. God I hope today is different because at least the sun is out.

I used to be embarrassed about the bed thing, I wouldn't let anyone else know about it, but I care so little now, and I can't beleive that my husband doesn't even say anything about it, like 'are you OK' or 'why are you in bed so much' Yeah I wouldn't like it if he criticized me either but at least that would show he noticed!

I have said in the past 'hang in there because today may be different' so I guess I will listen to my own advice.

Hi ladies, Hi Holly,

I am still doing ok. I have a therapist appt tomorrow. I'll let her know that I still haven't really rebounded yet.

I also have an appt on Tues with my mental health physician. I'll discuss what has been going on with me but if I remember correctly, my last appt 2 months ago, I wasn't doing great either. We'll see what she decides when I go on tuesday.

Holly, I do the exact same thing so don't feel bad. I wake up, do some stuff, and then wind up going back to bed because I'm drowsy. When I wake up from that nap, I feel pretty good.

Thats about it tonight. I'll post again soon. Much love to all.

Thank you for the encouragement One tip my employment counsellor gave me last time we met regarding my current work situation was to focus on my "house" (what you and I see as our bubble I guess) and the things I can control in it and not on anyone else's house. That is supposed to mean their negativity, schemes, ride behaviour, unwillingness to work etc.

It's been so helpful, especially realizing that naturally I enjoy being in my bubble and that there isn't anything wrong with it.

What type of work do you do for your summer job? Sounds peaceful.

Hey friends, well yesterday's weather was finally beautiful after it warmed up, and I spent a couple happy hours outside and we got our motorcycles out of the garage and took a quick ride to town ! I do have to have my speedometer looked at, it isn't working, but I can approximate my speed so I don't get a ticket

Cinnamonhearts, yes let's focus on OUR houses!

oh and yes, my summer job is pastry baker in a private fly fishing lodge deep in the woods, and yes it is as awesome as it sounds I've been there 17 seasons this year! I daily prepare a lunch dessert and a dinner dessert, plus the breakfast pastries and granola; and help with other kitchen prep. I can also pick up hours in the dining room, as waitstaff, if I want. There is a separate Staff Quarters upstairs and I have my own room there sometimes I spend the night if I work late and have to be there early.

I count my commute as part of the benefit, it's 19 miles of beautiful small town Vermont roads, then I take a dirt road 3 miles into the woods and the lodge and lake are at the end of the road. And yes I take the motorcycle like 88% of the time Yeah I love it I'm VERY lucky that the dinner chef is a cool guy, he appreciate me and is so very easy going. The only 'fly in the ointments' are the seasonal help, if the Breakfast/Lunch chef is a jerk, then that is my cross to bear, because we are in the kitchen at the same time But that only bothers me if I allow it, however one year I did wear foam earplugs because I couldn't stand the non-stop talking of the egotistical jerk And the front desk lady/manager, she is very controlling and likes to think I am under her management, but I am Kitchen, so, no she likes to try to make you feel stupid or inadequate, I know now that she must be so beset by insecurity about herself, but she shows it by being so bossy and overbearing. Ugh. Okay 2 crosses to bear

Kathleen it is so good to see you here We are sorry that girl broke up with your son but boy does she sound immature!! Very glad he is taking it OK, good for him! and oh your daughter must be so excited about prom, is there a special theme? any ideas about her dress?

but oh gosh another surgery for you we will be holding you in our thoughts on May 8th, the surgery date.

Yes anything is better than working for the R@t B@st@rd I really, really need to somehow motivate myself when the weather is not great. I mean, the weather is not great most of the time so I have to deal!!

HI ladies,

Just wanted to let you know I made a small break though in therapy today. We made a pros and cons diagram, I hate these, to help me see why I am not doing certain things in my life, exercise, going outside, etc.

Even though I don't really use the term "anxiety" when going outside, I am more "comfortable" in my house. That was a big realization for me. Then we came up with 1 or 2 things I can do to help me brings some of that "comfort" outside so I can go out easier.

I honestly don't remember the last time I have truly been happy. Another break through for me.

Kathleen, I am so sorry your son lost his gf. I hope he can see that no one person is worth getting hurt over. He is the most important person and needs to take care of himself.

Holly, I am glad you were able to get your bike out. I know you feel better when you ride.

CH, I hope seeing the bubble helps you feel stronger. You deserve to be content when it comes to working.

That's about it for now. much love to all.

Oh that does sound lovely! A pastry chef! I'm glad that you like it so much It must give you something to look forward to for the future when it's winter.

Lisa,

I'm glad that your therapy appointment went well! I'm very much more comfortable in my own space too - whether it be at work or at home.

One thing I did to make myself more comfortable in the gym, but this can apply to other busy public areas where you might fear people coming up to you, is to wear ear buds. I also tend to look at my phone a lot and make mysekf look busy. Just some ideas I guess

Thanks for your encouragement. I never realized it was "ok" until recently to prefer to work in my bubble. I interact when i need to but i really am able to recharge during the day when im working by myself.

Hi cinnamon,

As long as I've been in therapy, I love that I can still learn things about myself. I went out back today for a short time but didn't stay. The sun was hot this evening. We were out long enough for my dog (elvira) to poop twice. grrrrrr I think she saves it. Where we live now, I have to pick it up. I take the pooper scooper outside with me and that girl loves to lay it. sheesh

I went to the dr today. She decided to up my pristiq by 50 mg.

I could never go to the gym, I am too uncomfortable in that situation.