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-   -   Would you be offended if someone commented on your weight gain? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/depression-weight-issues/304285-would-you-offended-if-someone-commented-your-weight-gain.html)

nickilaughs 06-19-2015 12:24 PM

I'd be shocked...then offended. That's just beyond appropriate social behavior. I also would have called her out and I'm glad you did.

lillyv 06-24-2015 05:13 PM

That's not appropriate at all...I would be highly offended. Weight is a senstitive subject and I expect everyone to understand that. The sad part is a lot of rude people don't care if they hurt your feelings or not.

cassilynn1728 06-28-2015 12:25 PM

I really find it amazing that someone is that rude. I've been a person that I realize it's terribly obvious I gained weight. A blind person would notice. And I've been fortunate enough that everyone holds their tongue in front of me. Well, except my grandmother. But I have a blessing of a very blunt grandmother, with no filter, who says it only because she worries. And I can handle that. But a rude friend or co-worker? No, I couldn't be around someone like that.

Firecracker777 06-30-2015 03:37 PM

I would be very offended! I wouldnt go out of your way to avoid her. Id smile right at her and say hello! Be confident in yourself, dont let her feel like she can belittle you like that.

But I would also not consider her a friend.

CheesecakeBrownie 07-03-2015 11:30 AM

I would be super offended and hurt :(

but if it kicked me into gear and gave me extra incentive to lose weight then I could spin it into a positive thing for me. But she is still a jerk.

lyaga 07-04-2015 01:26 PM

Like everyone else said - bad on her and no reflection on you!

What you said about her looking at your body resonated with me - there is a painfully thin, fashionable woman at work and every time I talk to her her eyes are constantly looking me up and down. It's creepy and would be totally inappropriate for a guy to do. She always says something about how I look when I lose weight so I know that's what she's checking for. She doesn't say anything when I've gained which is almost as bad.

IanG 07-04-2015 02:27 PM

I wouldn't worry about it. I have had so many comments about my weight, both up and down, it's like water off a duck's back to me now. Think it's bad when you are fat? Just wait for the comments once you start showing some big losses...

Unfortunately, weight (loss) is not like a bad marriage. It's on show for all to see and we just have to accept that.

Unless you want to start picking fights with everyone, and I mean everyone, or "purge" them as some say there is not much you can do about it if, at least, you still want some people left in your life.

Radiojane 07-04-2015 11:58 PM

Who does that? Seriously??!!!

I have had some hurtful comments about my weight but they usually get back to me second hand or are from my ex. I can't fathom behaving like that in a social setting.

Be offended. And flip her the bird.

Sorry. Maybe don't do that.

Sage2 07-05-2015 10:40 AM

I agree with Ian and have had the same experience, with the comments being much more prolific and offensive as I lost major weight. I did "purge" a friend or two because I took offense back then and in one case have regretted that (the other case of losing a friend was a blessing because there were more issues than just weight).

Honestly, who cares what anyone else thinks about our weight or says about it. Why waste energy being offended when we can put our energy into our own success as we define it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by IanG (Post 5181186)
I wouldn't worry about it. I have had so many comments about my weight, both up and down, it's like water off a duck's back to me now. Think it's bad when you are fat? Just wait for the comments once you start showing some big losses...

Unfortunately, weight (loss) is not like a bad marriage. It's on show for all to see and we just have to accept that.

Unless you want to start picking fights with everyone, and I mean everyone, or "purge" them as some say there is not much you can do about it if, at least, you still want some people left in your life.


elastigal 07-05-2015 01:11 PM

Yes I would, and I have been. I had a rough year at work last year and one day in November went to a coworkers desk to drop something off. I must have been leaning down in a crazy unflattering way but she whispered (at least!) to me "are you pregnant?" - I was so shocked she said that to me that I kinda stammered no, I'm just fat and got the heck outta there. I was so shocked someone said that but it was also a slap in the side of the head about how others were perceiving me. Some people just have no filter.

Ruthxxx 07-05-2015 01:16 PM

My reply to comments like that: "Did you really intend to say that out loud?"

BettyBooty 07-07-2015 09:57 AM

I've packed back on about 20 lbs in the past year (horrible depression issues, can't find meds that work, and I am an emotional eater) and live in constant fear that one of my co-workers will ask if I am pregnant again.

I would be so embarrassed and hurt if someone made a comment purposefully loud enough for me to hear. I would be too cowardly to confront them, though. I like to think I would say something about their rude remark, but in reality I would probably just retreat to my office or the bathroom until I did not feel like crying.

Forseir 07-07-2015 12:38 PM

She obviously meant harm putting it that way, I would just straight tell him/her that I don't appreciate the comments. Have enough issues already, another one at work is not something I need.

CheesecakeBrownie 07-15-2015 10:33 AM

I read an article the other day about a girl who lost 13 stone (182 pounds) because some guys yelled at her out of their car and threw food at her.

I know they were horribly cruel, and it's just such a terrible thing that happened and there is no excuse for the pain it caused her. but that one instance made her turn her life around.

here is the article

MaRrIeD_aN_aNgEl 07-16-2015 06:23 AM

I'd definately be offended, and I'd let them know pretty much straight away.

Depends on how long I've known them/what kind of history we have - on if I'd continue talking to them.


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