Ups & Downs Support Group: May 2015
 

Thanks Kathleen for starting the May thread!

we FINALLY have sun :sunny: today and it is so nice. We are going to a fundraiser this afternoon/evening and we decided to ride instead of the car, to take advantage of the beautiful weather. It's about 35 minutes away. It will squash my hair :p but I'll try to re-fluff once we get there.

Quick intro for newbies, I'm Holly, 54, mostly controlled depression with Wellbutrin but I hate the winter months and love summer. Terrible self-image problems and I tend to yo-yo diet but I am plugging along.

Lisa_C, I put your today's post here :)

Lisa, i am so glad your lung infection is almost gone! but sorry that you weren't feeling good at the beginning of the day. I hope you're able to do some of your homework so it won't seem so overwhelming. YES I got out on the bike today and it was fan-tastic, thanks! :D

Oh Lisa! I know nothing about NASCAR, or ARCA, except one of the guys on our (me and my husband's) motorcycle forum is in the biz, he is with the crew of car 48, and I was so scared when I learned of the crash yesterday. But the driver is relatively OK I guess with ankle surgery. I know so little about our member, he doesn't tell us alot and I don't pry, but at least I know he is not the driver, because he is 60, but he is some part of the crew. Maybe even part owner, I don't know! but a nice guy. He got me an autographed glossy pic of James Hylton, which is so kewl :cool:

Mother's Day... I don't ever think much about my mother, because she was abusive to me. Now she's got Alzheimer's and lives in a fancy "memory care" facility in Houston. But I'm in favor of the holiday, for sure, for those with healthy minds and/or for those who left good memories behind them. Bob's family will be getting together today with his mom, who also has Alzheimer's, but is usually pretty with it in the afternoon.

My personal bugaboo is the damn stairs. They're the only place in the house where we left the ugly cream-colored carpeting, and the cats have been enjoying it as a sort of cat tree. It is convenient to have carpet to climb. Speaking of cat trees... Bob did some serious shopping and found one that he thinks would be better than anything he could make himself, so we have it on order.

Every time I try to climb the stairs myself, the first step is so painful, I have to stop the attempt. So the next time Bob & I are up for it, we're going to work together to see what we can come up with in the way of a less painful approach. We've been very careful about our bathroom routine, so I haven't fallen in several days. My bruised & sore legs are recovering, slowly. But I still get spasms from time to time. It feels like a long wait until June 11th, when we see the neurologist again.

Greetings!

I hope this finds you all doing well. I am really struggling with my eating at this time. I can't seem to stop eating comfort foods - mostly ice cream and chocolate. I buy dark chocolate and Turkey Hill fat free no sugar added Dutch Chocolate ice cream, but I consume tremendous amounts of it. I am disgusted with my lack of self-control. I start each day off well, then after dinner, I just don't stop!

My family problems have eased, but I am always on edge waiting for something to happen.

Holly, I am hoping this great weather continues - after the winter we have had, I am hoping for a nice long sunny stretch.

Lisa, I would love to see a graduation picture.

Fi, have you looked into the stair lift chairs? Wouldn't your kitties just love that!

Kathleen, you seem upbeat and I believe attitude is a big part of the journey.

Take care everyone.

Just popping in to say hello and to give you all a great big :hug: its been such a long time since I was last here.

Hugs and kisses to you all <3
Leenie

Hey chicks :cool: Leenie, Hi and nice to see you!!

Fi, I'm glad you haven't fallen in a while, but boy June 11 is a long time off to wait!

EasySpirit, Hi and I hope your weather has improved, ours finally has. I even had to mow the lawn on Sunday, well at least parts of it (lots of bald winter-kill spots)

Lisa_C, you have been keeping up with keeping in touch with us which is so nice. The graduation pic of Jennifer is fantastic! such a beautiful young lady and congrats to her. I hope also she can get a job near you! you are not selfish for wanting that, just a loving mom!

We've had rain for 2 days which was needed, but anything that keeps me off my bike is grrr :D I've been back to work since last week now, and I love it :) yesterday I made 13 chocolate mocha mousse cakes (yeah that's 130 servings!) lemon curd, raspberry sauce, cookies...all our personal temptations :devil:

I had worked hard to lose almost 4 pounds in 3 weeks; then one day the scale showed me back up 3 pounds for no good reason :tantrum: I got frustrated and kinda gave up :?: Oh well.

This is the time of year when I start to feel alive again, its too bad I can't feel this good all year.

Hello everyone,

I am here after having 2 crowns and 3 cavities fixed. I just took something for pain. The needles hurt but I was a big girl and didnt say anything. The good side is my teeth are nice, white and fixed. What I have learned......to take better care of my teeth.

I don't know why I didn't change threads???? I'm so dumb.

Welcome back, Leenie!!!!!
Fi, honey, you are still in my prayers. I am so sorry about your legs.
Holly, I am the same way as you. I lost that that 6 pounds and then preceded to gain a bunch of weight for an unknown reason. I give up. I am who I am. Period.
EasySpirit, I will post Jennifer's picture again. :) Now to your lack of self-esteem. We all have that from time to time so don't be so hard on your self, ok?
Kathleen, how are you feeling and doing? Give us the info, girl. We need to know so we can be here for you.


I am in a new class, it is a coding class. I still need to finish my last class. I got special permission because I was sick to finish my last class. I only have 1 more assignment to finish but it's important that I get the time to do it. I think I'm really going to like coding. It's going to be hard but I think fun. Wish me luck ok?


Jennifer is job hunting. Wish her luck too. She needs a job too, it's very important. I know that deep down she is very worried. She doesn't show it though. Do you like the bikers in the background, Holly???? :)

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Hello chicks! I have to check in before I leave for work, and I will be spending the nights at the Club during opening, as I am also working at night in the dining room. I do this every year. My kindle has a hard time connecting to the 'net there so no communication.

Lisa - coding, as in medical coding? kewl!

continued healing vibes (((healing vibes))) to Fi and of course Kathleen!

Hi EasySpirit, i gave up on my diet due to my lack of self control :rolleyes:

take care and talk to you sunday!

Thanks for keepin" me in your thoughts, y'all. I'm still having cramps in my legs, but not so much as before, and the real good news is that I'm writing this—as always, on my iPad—in bed upstairs. What that means is that I'm finally beginning to have access to my upstairs collage studio—yay! I'll be returning to the Kollage Kit blog as soon as I finish up a trio of smaller postcards (4" x 6") that I owe to some people on swap-bot. So expect some links to new collages, soon!

I'm kind of disgusted with my neurologist, because she hasn't responded to my queries about the results of all the (mostly) painful tests I went through. I don't see her again until June 11th. But that date is so far out because Bob (who manages my rented wheelchair) has to go away for 10 days to California in late May, early June, for the memorial service and ashes-scattering for his oldest sister, followed by the graduation of his niece from UCLA medical school. His sister really wanted to live long enough for that graduation, but she smoked (lung cancer + COPD) herself to death and didn't quite make it. Bob is worried about how I'll do alone in the house while he's gone, so we've been focused on making sure I'll be mobile enough to handle stairs, bathrooms, etc.

As for my diagnosis, I don't know squat, yet. Everyone seems to be out of town, including my psychiatrist. Oh well... In the meantime, I've backed way down from the medications that may have caused this weird kerfuffle. I haven't fallen down in about two weeks—another piece of good news. I still can't walk more than half-a-dozen steps, but I had a good time with Grace yesterday.

Hello friends,


Homework, homework, homework, that is all I will be doing the rest of the week.


Thinking of you all, hope you are well. :)

Lisa, you are the champ for keeping the faith here. Fi also, so glad you were able to post from the upstairs! and I hope so much that you are able to be by yourself when Bob has to go out of state.

Lisa, boo to all that homework! but I hope you are keeping up with it. Glad you got to go to crocheting group but sorry you were in pain with your hand.

I spent the night at my work for 3 nights in a row last week, and boy oh boy, did I work my butt off!! :D but got lots of compliments on my desserts from the guests, which is nice. No comments from the management for my obvious hard work, which is sucky, but I got my paycheck today and YEAH for lots of hours! $$$ and I know I did my best and gave people great service with lots of smiles.

I rode my m'cycle to work today and FROZE for 25 miles, I just mis-judged on the temp and arrived stiff, lol, at least the kitchen warms up quickly and hot coffee helped.

I seem to be eating whatever i want, I wonder if I have just given up for life?? I will still work out for daily strength and endurance but seem to have accepted myself as i am. I can't wish my life away, wishing I looked like someone else. But unless I can talk to someone I will always be feeling down on myself. I just do NOT want to pay for counseling, I am so cheap, haha.

Well that is enough rambling for tonight.

Lisa_C, good luck with your homework. School has always made me a psychotic monster, lol. I'm an overachiever when it comes to grades and school and when I do an assignment that I worked on for days, nights and really kicked butt on and don't receive the grade I think I deserved, it is very upsetting. I'm not afraid to talk to my professors about it either and sometimes they like that about me and sometimes they get defensive. It can be hit or miss, but it's not hard to tell who the really good professors are they love their job and their students. Sometimes I don't know why some people even got into that profession, but that's a topic for another day.

As for ups and downs, I have been extremely down lately. I could tell you my entire depressing life story, but that would take an hour and I just don't have the energy. That's my big problem lately, I have zero energy. Anyone have any tips for that? For the last 2 weeks I've been sleeping 12+ hours a day, so sleep is not my problem unless it's getting too much. I just can't keep my eyes open most days.. Today I don't even have the energy to shower and that really sucks.

:welcome3: to the board, tranquilize!!!!!! We are so glad to have you here. I am like you, I sleep a lot. I only let myself sleep so much though and not go overboard. Do you take any meds or are you doing this by yourself? That makes a big difference. I am on meds myself. Have you tried taking small walks? That is supposed to help your energy level.


I am tired right now. I may take a small nap before tackling my project. I am waiting to hear back from my instructor, he has a link I need before I can go any further.



Have a wonderful day, I will check back tomorrow. :):)

Welcome!
 

tranquilize: :welcome: to the group! So happy you posted! :D I have been absent from the group for way too long this month. I am recovering from breast cancer and two surgeries for it, so I have a good reason, but I need to get back on board! One reason I haven't posted in such a long time is that every time I start to write, which is usually very late at night, I either konk out while typing or I finally type a long post and it disappears into cyberspace before I post it. :( Anyway, it's late again now, but I wanted to send you a quick HELLO and WELCOME! :)

Hello!!!
 

Lisa and Holly and Fi: HELLO ladies!!! I am so very sorry that I haven't posted in such a long time!!! :o Like I told tranquilize in the above post, I have attempted several posts very late at night and even some during the day, but I always literally fall asleep while typing or I end up losing a long post in cyberspace with the touch of the wrong button. :( This has been extremely frustrating, because I just want you to know that I am okay. I received some wonderful news this past week. I switched my medical care down to The James Cancer Hospital on The OSU campus, and I absolutely love my new medical oncologist there, Dr. Maryam Lustberg!!! About 3 weeks ago, she enrolled me in a study that gives me an Oncotype, which is a determination (from a more in-depth pathology performed on my tumor in California) of my chances for a recurrence of breast cancer. Well, I found out on Wednesday that my score was an 11 (on a scale of 1-50)....... which is a very low and very good score. Dr. Lustberg had explained at our first appointment that a score of 25 or lower would mean no chemo because research shows that chemo is no added benefit when used along with hormone therapy. So, when we met with her Friday late afternoon, she detailed the plan for hormone therapy that she would like to begin right away. I will start monthly injections of a medication to supress my ovaries and eventually shut them down. It will force me into menopause, along with all of the lovely side effects that come with it (i.e., hot flashes, mood swings, weight gain ~ ARGGH! ~ and irritability, to name just a few). :fr: If I tolerate the injections/shots well, they will also add in another medication that I will take at bedtime each night (for the same purpose of shutting down my ovaries). Then, once my ovaries are shut down, they can treat me with a whole other list of meds for women who have already gone through menopause. These meds have fewer serious side effects than Tamoxifen, which has traditionally been used when hormone therapy is needed. (This was the ONLY hormone therapy med I was offered at the previous place.) Anyway, that is a quick update on me. LIFE IS STILL GOOD, especially since I have been told that I DON'T NEED CHEMO!!!!! :carrot: :cp: :cb:

I hope all is well with you ladies!!! Fi, I hated to read about all of the pain you were experiencing recently. :( I sure hope that things have begun to look UP for you and that your pain has begun to subside!!! Lisa, best of luck with school!!! I have kept you in my prayers even in my absence here. And Holly, I was so ecstatic to read that you were able to get outdoors on that "kewl" motorcycle of yours!!! BIG HUGS to all of you!!! :hug: :hug: :hug:

Lisa_C, thank you. I look at it this way, if I'm sleeping then I'm not eating something bad for me, lol. I take Ativan for anxiety but nothing of the SSRI sort. I've tried Prozac, Cymbalta and Celexa in the past. All gave me awful side effects except for Cymbalta. I'm not a fan of anti-depressant meds at all, the just really mess my system up. The Celexa gave me the period from **** that never went away until I stopped the medication. Very odd. Besides, I have hypothyroidism and thyroditis that I have recently been put on Synthroid for, so I don't need any other medications that could potentially cause more weight gain or awful side effects. I take norethindrone which is like a progesterone or progestin, whichever one, so I don't get my monthly friend anymore and haven't for almost two years. I had horrible complications from it, got very, very sick, lost lots of bloods from the 4 months non-stop. Just a very awful, messy thing! That medication alone can cause weight gain and makes it difficult to lose weight, but it's impossible right now for me to stop taking that.

As for walks, I get very nervous because I have untreated colitis (my GIs are all morons, I've seen several and the last just retired) and suffer from daily diarrhea and it can happen at any time. My last walk, I made it home just in time.. very embarrassing and a nightmare to deal with. So any exercise I think I will be doing at home for a while.

IBelieveInMe2, thank you for welcoming me, and I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through that. I'm dealing with other health issues, so I do know what it's like to be sick and go through multiple procedures, it's exhausting and not fun at all. Congrats on not needing chemo, that is wonderful news!

I can't really type out personals right now, my hand is messed up. I have 1st and 2nd degree burns on it. i picked up a hot pan. I will come back when I can type more. I just got back from the ER earlier this evening.


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Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry that happened! It looks painful, ahh. I hope it heals very soon. :hugs:

Greetings!

Tranquilize, welcome!

Lisa, I hope you mend quickly. Did they give you something for your pain?

Kathleen, I went through menopause like nothing - a few hot flashes in the middle of the night, and that was it. I was relieved to have my period over with as I had painful cramps most months. I did not gain weight or have mood swings - nothing like the PMS I had when I was younger.

Fi, I hope your pain is lessening.

Holly, the mornings have still been quite cold here, but the days have been warming up - I am appreciating the grass, flowers, warm sun, etc. more than ever after the winter we survived.

My family problems are bad again; I wish I could help, but what can I do but listen? Meanwhile, I am still hovering at 150 - just cannot seem to get back on track - at least I have only gained three pounts. Of course, I want to lose ten, not gain.

Take care everyone.

Hello friends,


They did give me something for pain, EasySpirit. They gave me Purcocet and a creme to put on my hand. My hand is so much better today.

Thank you, tranquilize for you're lovely words of support. *hug*

I am tired, think I will lay down for a bit. :) Much love to all.

Just checkin' in to say I'm doing all right, but I did have a few more falls recently, and my legs have been very bruised & sore as a result. But I'm hangin' in here, working on making sure I will do OK on my own while Bob is in California for 10 days. My dear great niece Grace will be checking in on me in person and also on the phone, so don't worry about me, y'all. When you see me post a link to a new collage I have made, you'll know I'm truly back. =smile=

Jeez, Lisa, I'm so sorry about your poor burned hand. Just take your Percocet on schedule and don't feel bad about needing it. I wish I had some Percocet myself for my legs, but there's a possibility it would make them worse, so I just need to get through this time, recover the strengtn in my legs, and get back on the weight loss trail again.

Lisa— I sent you a private message a while ago, and you have not replied to it. Could you please look in your "Private Messages" inbox on 3FC and give me an answer to my question? It should be up in the righthand corner of the page. Thanks!

Fi, I have never received a message from you. *confused*

I've just returned to 3FC for support on weight loss. In 2013 I was doing very well and was maintaining at my goal. But then in the Fall I was a involved in an incident that severely triggered my PTSD. I started putting the weight back on but I was so distracted by my anxiety to care. Then I moved to attend college out of state which made everything way worse. I found myself stress eating and bingeing almost daily. I dropped out of school and moved back home. Now it's a year and a half later since the incident and I've gained 65 pounds and I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I am so deeply uncomfortable with my weight and I'm tired of being so out of control. I return to therapy on Monday and I'm hoping that'll help me cope with my anxiety, depression, and stress eating.