So, here is a brief on me..
I was a big gal (size 12ish) from the beginning. now after 12 years of marriage, two kids and additional 65 lbs.. I am here at 2X in size. it is very hard for me to deal with my body but what's harder is the lack of support and other issues from my husband.
so - we have literally stopped having sex, if lucky we do it once in 2 months. he says, my body is an issue. we had a huge fight the other night ... again.. over this topic. now I am sick of this. I don't feel like hugging him or touching him or even sleeping next to him. I look for excuses for sleeping in my kids room (its cooler, my son wants to trade beds, I have to work late.. any excuse I can come up with) . I feel he is out of love with me. he does everything else a husband/life partner should do but any physical contact is out of the picture. so now, I find satisfaction in food. not good ... but I do. I still love him, cuz every time I think of him not liking my appearance and its importance to him, I cry. but the fact he thinks I am ugly make me feel ugly and not wanting him to touch me.
I don't know what to do... keep this marriage ... maybe he wants to walk out on me but doesnot cuz he wants me to be the bad guy and walk out ...maybe he is OK with not having sex.
I feel, .... lost, confused, alone, un-loved, unattractive and my confidence is dropping lower and lower.
I don't want my kids living a broken family nor see fighting parents all the time.