Alright guys. This is where I bare my soul.

My biggest emotional issue is anxiety. Especially getting sick, specifically stomach sick. As a result, I have always been super super anxious about food going bad. Seriously. I can't eat it if I think it is the least bit imperfect. It is ridiculous. I LOVE fresh foods, but it is so hard to bring them home. Because if I don't eat them RIGHT THEN, I freak out. I will forget about them and get anxious and throw it out. I do the same thing with leftovers. I can't stand it because I feel like everything is bad. If it looks bad, I don't eat it. Problem is, I can't actually tell when something LOOKS BAD. Small, minor imperfects will get me on a bad day. My anxiety causes me to much prefer processed foods with preservatives, even though I actually PREFER fresh, whole foods, but it causes my anxiety to flare up too much. I also have just as much trouble cooking fresh foods. I always feel like I never get it done enough.

This particular anxiety is probably my biggest dieting obstacle.

It's not uncommon to have a fear of puking but maybe you should see someone about the phobia so you can eat certain food without anxiety.

Oh, believe me, I already do.
I was just venting to vent. I was feeling particularly anxious that evening.

I am perhaps not quite as bad as you, but I am similar. One thing that helps me is that I did some reading about the virtues of freezing. So, I tend to freeze things (probably days earlier). Freeze in single serving packets and then unfreeze when you want to eat.

Eat canned fish.

I do. 35-42 cans a week.

Job done.

Canned stuff lasts years because the cans are sterile.

Are you able to have home deliveries? I think if you choose a good supplier, you can inform them about your anxiety to make sure that they give you only the ones that look fine. Once you receive them, say, fruits and veg, cut them up immediately and like Koshka said, freeze them.

Will this help?

Hi Hannah,

I understand the anxiety about food spoiling, I think Ian has a great suggestion about canned food. If you aren't into fish, there are lots of soups that are canned. Maybe also consider freezing food, it will last awhile. I'm glad you're talking with someone about your anxiety.

Processed food is like eating poison. They are all loaded with chemicals the human body wasn't made to process. I go to the store every day or 2 so my food is fresh.

Sure, but there is "processed" and then there is "processed". A lot of canned food is simply just cooked in the can. That's it. No additives.

Pre-packaged meals can be at the other end of the scale.

So just because it comes in a box, don't always make it bad.

I have emetophobia. While it's not identical to the anxiety that you have, I've had major issues while cooking because I was sure I was going to get food poisoning. I've also had really bad OCD related to my phobia at its worst point.
I have worked really hard on overcoming my fear and it's a lot better than it used to be. Honestly, what woke me up is a stomach flu. I got it, got sick and nothing really happened. It was a horrific experience but I got through it.

The only thing I can tell you is that if you're aware that it's going against you, that's a huge step. If you can see a therapist, I highly recommend that. Professionals can give you tools that you can use everyday to overcome the anxiety and do things that really matter to you.

I don't want to give any advice because I don't think it'll help you much. All I can tell you is that for me, I really had to force myself to do things that I wouldn't do (this includes hanging out with people who had/know people who had stomach flu, go to public restrooms, cook meat, eat leftovers...etc). It bothered me a lot that I was treating myself and other people poorly because of the phobia. I'm still working on it and I can relate on how much it sucks. Don't worry though, it's totally possible to manage it. I don't think it can entirely go away, but I think it's possible to live with it.

Good luck and let me know if you need more support/have questions.
Hugs!

Muguet Thank you for posting. I appreciate the honesty. I also have emetophobia. At my worst I got gastritis and lost a significant amount of weight (I weighed 99 pounds at my lowest) and I had to leave school because I was so anxious to leave my house. It was terrible. Couldn't touch door knobs, even in my own house. Couldn't even bring a bottle of shampoo into the house without me having a panic attack. It was pretty awful and an incredibily shameful time of my life. I have gotten significantly better. Going to university helped a lot. People are always sick on campus. I had to make a choice to keep going because I wanted that degree so badly. I am still taking medication and seeing a psychiatrist regularly, however my symptoms are no longer active. I still have difficulty with food but I am getting better. Especially when I share my problem with people and they tell me how they rarely get food poisoning even if the food is less than perfect quality. Also, reading posts like the ones in this thread help immensely. I guess I just need to share.

IanG Canned tuna and salmon have been very good for me. I mostly buy canned and frozen foods (whole frozen foods). I still get frozen meals, but that is much better than plain ol' junk food and I am also not salt sensitive so it doesn't affect my blood pressure.

Amy Thank you. I am trying to experiment with freezing meals that I make but it is a process.

Magical The suggestion is good. I have no difficulties leaving the house and going to the store is no issue, so deliveries aren't necessary. In fact I am fortunate to live a couple of blocks from the area's only farmer's market and whole food store (not Whole Foods).

Koshka Yes, freezing is definitely an option I am investigating! Thank you!

Hey if it helps I am known for eating all those "questionable" foods and I have never had food poisoning. Oh yes, I've had the odd digestive upset but never to where it was definitely the food...unless it is my MIL's cooking that is!

Maybe you'll like this article: http://www.xojane.com/healthy/eating-expired-food

While I enjoyed and could actually relate to that article, I think it might make the O/P hurl.

hannahbeanies, I understand you're seeing someone, and that's really important but it occurred to me, just a thought mind you, have you ever considered getting a more solid understanding of food safety and cleanliness practices, like those that food handlers and restaurants need to adhere to, it might give you a measure of control to really understand what makes things go bad, how to tell if they are bad and how to prevent contamination and so on.

I realize that it's an anxiety issue, maybe a phobia and/or OCD but maybe some knowledge and a few tools (refrigerator/freezer/oven/probe thermometers, bleach, dedicated cutting boards, a consistent labeling system for putting away leftovers, etc.) could help you develop a logical way to deal with this problem.

That's great to hear hannahbeanies. Trust me when I say there is a whole world of canned fish out there. I have smoked oysters, squid, sturgeon, anchovies, clams, mussels, steelhead, cod, halibut, shrimp, crab, sardines... You name it. So you can really expand your variety if you want to.

She said hearing about people eating "off" foods and not getting sick made her feel better!