Depression and Weight IssuesHave you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!
Worththeeffort- That's not all that bad for 5 sessions. I think you're definitely going to use them wisely. Keep me updated on how that goes. Sadly, I haven't been in the gym since last week. Been pretty busy with the holiday and then had my interview, went to train for a volunteer position, etc. Busy, busy, busy.
I got someone to cover my shift today and relaxed. I needed a day away from the hectic stuff. I went to lunch with my friend, went to adoration at church, picked a few things up at the store, and mowed the lawn. Mowing was definitely todays exercise.
I had a bad headache early in the day and took a muscle relaxer. Not thinking I went to run errands and on the way home was soooo tired. I collapsed in bed when I got home.
Yesterday I got a call from the law office and had to take an online test. This afternoon they called me back again and set up a meeting for tomorrow with the head attorney. I'm thinking this is the last step of the process to get hired. Ya know, get the okay from the big boss type thing.
On the weight front, I was 181lbs this morning! Woot!!!
Sabrina: It sure sounds like the law office is very interested in you! Good luck meeting with the head honcho!!! I will be thinking of you and praying that all goes well. I hope you get an offer! I am happy to hear that you took the day off and relaxed and did things you wanted to do. Good for you! Congrats on 181 pounds! I can't wait to get back down there one day!
Fi: So great to hear from you! I am a little confused or perhaps I missed some posts, but is the farm yours and Bob's now? A place to go to relax and get away from it all? It sounds nice, but I am so sorry you had a miserable and LOUD weekend. Your plans for the place sound great! Fix it up and make it yours! I hope you can go there often.
hannahbeanies: I am glad that the protein matching has been working well for you. I put off writing what I eat, too. Haven't done it for awhile now. I am all or nothing about it..... and many other things, too. It definitely DOES help to write down my food intake and exercise. When I am really motivated, I log it into My Fitness Pal. Haven't done that in ages.
Amy: Congrats on being DOWN another 2 pounds!!! You are doing so well! Keep it up!
Worthy: Good for you for booking a personal trainer! It is an investment in yourself and your health. You can't go wrong! Good luck with it!
Antonia: Thank you for the encouragement! I hope you will get to put your fence up soon for your dog's safety and your peace of mind!
I worked out today with our trainer. It felt good. Also did some laps in our pool. It was a beautiful day! I am getting nervous about doing this SHRED diet, since I know nothing about it. I heard about it from a lady in a women's wellness group I participate in. I will read the books when they arrive and see if it feels doable. If not, I will probably try low carb. I need something to give me eating guidelines. I am afraid this SHRED diet might be too strict, but we will see. I do not want to just give up on it before I read about it, but I am really second guessing my decision. Typical of me. I think I am due to go back to my doctor soon to get my thyroid levels checked again. I am anxious to get my thyroid levels regulated, so that I am able to lose weight again. Will keep you all posted. My (15-yr-old) daughter is having a friend over tomorrow to swim, and then we are headed back up to the lake for the weekend. My son's girlfriend is coming back to visit (at the lake) on Saturday. He is head over heels for this girl! We like her but still don't know her that well.
good morning! did another quick read through and things that stick out...Antonia who knew one could eat TOO many veggies?? but good to discover! Fi so sorry the Mongol horde was SO disruptive! worth, congrats on teh training sessions! Amy, cngrats on losing so many pounds! Sabrina, best wishes on the interview/call back Kathleen, you are always so supportive Hannah, i haven't weighed myself in a while either, don't know if my ticker is correct, probably not.
Been preparing all week at work so i can have off Sat. and Sun. for a local biker party/camping. We sleep in our Cadillac so no tent needed, just a pop up and chairs for day. We'll bring alcohol but mooch food from freinds DH brings car and I bring my bike. we'll see friends we don't see all year. Looking forward to it!
Hi everyone. I tried to kill myself on June 19th. I spent a few days in a medical hospital and the rest in a psych hospital. I just got home today. I'm ok. Just struggling to find some meaning. I think I gained weight in there. I'm too scared to step on the scale.
Hi everyone. I tried to kill myself on June 19th. I spent a few days in a medical hospital and the rest in a psych hospital. I just got home today. I'm ok. Just struggling to find some meaning. I think I gained weight in there. I'm too scared to step on the scale.
I'm sorry, I really have no idea what to say except . Please don't even think about the scale, that is so not important right now.
I'm so sorry you were in that deep of a depression, I used to be extremely depressed and I attempted suicide also, but I am so glad that I lived!!!! I know that life is tough but I sincerely feel that the tough times make us stronger, I send hopeful wishes your way. One day you may look back at this and say, 'This caused me to appreciate life and realize that life IS worth living.' One of my favorite quotes is:
"the only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is the way you use them."
Take from that what you will, for me it's meant to find courage, resolution and determination in the toughest of challenges. I am SO glad that you are okay. Can you see a therapist or psychiatrist? Maybe you can attend a support group? Some hospitals offer them, so does NAMI and The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. They have web pages.
Hang in there!!!! maybe you can think of ways to cope with the depression? For me, I:
Call friends or family
Take a nap
Indulge in a bubble bath or hot shower
Write letters
Drink cold water
Take d e e p breaths
Read or do a crossword puzzle, fill it in or word find
If I am really stressed, I may talk to someone at a 'warm line' or 'hotline'
If prescribed, I'll take an as needed medicine to 'take the edge off'
Oh my gosh, I just gasped out loud when I read your post! I am so saddened to hear that you tried to kill yourself, and I am very thankful that you are okay!!! I, too, have spent time in a psych hospital. Not fun! I really like Amy's reply to you and the ideas she shared for when you are really struggling. Please reach out to someone next time instead of doing something harmful to yourself! You are much too precious to this group and to the world to lose you!!! I really don't know what else to say, except that you matter and your life has meaning..... just because you are on this earth. God has a plan for your life, whether or not you know what it is right now and even if you don't believe in Him. I believe that with every fiber of my being. You are here for a reason, Trish. The world would not be the same without you. You matter to me, to this group, and to more people than you know! I will stop my preaching now, but I am really worried about you! Are you getting any follow-up care? Is there anyone you can call when you are desperate? Do you have a plan to keep yourself safe? Just as with weight loss, we need to have a plan to turn to when the going gets tough. Which leads me to my final thought: Forget about that # on the scale..... at least for now!!! YOU are more important than any # on the scale!!! Please hang in there and take good care of yourself. Sending you my prayers, lots of love and support, and many hugs!
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
Trish— I cannot hope to add any more wisdom to the very wise things already said by others, especially by Amy and Patience. I want you to know, though, that I care about you, and I am relieved to hear you've made it through this crisis so far. I am rooting for you! Please take the advice you've been given, and above all, know, deep in your heart, that you are important to this group. Remember that you were seen as special enough by one member that she even reached out to me to be the go-between in order to anonymously buy a scale for you. Every time you look at your scale you should tell yourself that you are loved, because it was love—have no doubt about it—that bought you that scale.
I happen to be in a bit of a crisis myself: the stress that I described happening at the farm over the 4th-of-July weekend has caught up with me, and yesterday I went into a very severe level of depression pain. This morning after I woke up I went with some trepidation to my bottle of Geodon (my "prn" in times of crisis) and counted how many I have. To my immense relief, I found I have more than enough to get me through until Monday, when my psychiatrist will get back from vacation. Geodon relieves the most severe depression by only a little bit, but the higher dose that I can take at such times does at least put me to sleep, and I wake up on the other side feeling quite a bit better. And the mild-to-moderate pain is relieved almost entirely by Geodon.
The other stress that has been dogging me for a couple of months now, which I mentioned only once some time ago, is that Bob's and my medical-&-pharmaceutical insurance was all messed up, such that despite dozens & dozens of phone calls and emails and even paper letters between the us & the government, us & Blue Cross, and the government & Blue Cross, they (Blue Cross) seemed to think we were not enrolled in the policy for retired federal employees. It was such a nightmare! Our pharmacy provider even started sending us huge bills for us to re-pay them for what they'd reimbursed in the time since Bob lost his job!! During the past more than two months we've had to charge several thousands of dollars on our credit card paying for Bob's and my medications. He is treatment-resistant depressed with anxiety, and I am bipolar with (current) breakthrough depression, so we're talking about LOTS of medication! However, crossing my fingers and toes, that horrible ordeal appears to be over: yesterday we were told over the phone that now the Blue Cross computers show us as enrolled, and our pharmacy provider even told us how to get the paperwork started to get reimbursed for all that money we spent. =whew= You have no idea what a load off my mind this is.
However, the stress is still catching up with me. It's always this way for me with stress and depression: first comes the stress, and the strong physical feelings of being stressed out, and then later comes the depression. So even though this insurance problem is resolved, the depression from all that stress is only just now hitting me.
We also have another source of stress, which has to do with our kittens. Nénu, the girl, is in splended shape, but Oscar, the boy, has had problems all along: when the mother's milk dried up early, he required 10 days of force feeding before he finally began eating solid food, and now he has still not recovered from the respiratory infection they all got, although the rest of the litter have. And most worrisome of all, he is just not gaining weight the way he should be: at 12 weeks of age, he only weighs a pound, whereas his siblings weigh 2 1/2 pounds.
In other words, Oscar is a sickly runt. =sigh= My breeder has promised to replace him if we are not happy with him in any way, but she does say he has a very sweet personality. So we must shoulder the burden of caring for a kitten who has not had a good start in life, physically speaking. Bob and I have talked about it, and we are both committed to this extra responsibility, but all the same, as you can imagine, it's been stressful. I hope it will be better once we have the kittens in hand: we plan to drive to New Jersey to pick them up on Sunday, August 3rd.
I hope today will be a better day than yesterday was. Yesterday afternoon was a killer, for both Bob and me, because I was writhing and crying out from the pain—it felt as though my chest had an ax embedded in it—for some three hours before finally the Geodon put me to sleep. I won't be able to tell until around 1-2 PM, because afternoon is always when the worst of it arrives. I will, of course, be taking extra Geodon at noon.
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
In case anyone wonders what I meant by my using Geodon as a "prn": it's an abbreviation for the Laitin "Pro re nata." or "as matters are," or "for the existing occasion," or (most commonly) "as needed." "Pro re nata" does not imply that the patient may take the medicine whenever the patient desires, but rather that the medicine may be taken in the prescribed dosage if needed.
Fi: Thank you for checking in and sharing your stressors with us. I am sending you big hugs and prayers that your depression pain gets better quickly. I am also going to keep Oscar in my prayers. I hope the little guy makes progress soon! I hope the nightmares with insurance are indeed overwith. What a pain that can be! We are at the lake and going to take a walk now, but I wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you! Please take good care of yourself and let Bob spoil you, too!
Hi. I do not really post here. But I am going to give it a try. Mainly because I am not sure where exactly to post this. If anyone has any suggestions re a better place to post it, that would be great.
I feel like I have a food monster inside me. Sometimes it thankfully is asleep. It can even be for weeks and months. But when it wakes up it just wants food. And it wants food with great ferocity.
I am very strong and determined. But this food monster is exhausting to live with. It takes everything I have to just get through the days. Does anyone expereince this as well? Today I gave in to it. I ate an entire bag of Barbaras cheese puffs.... dredged in powdered cheddar cheese. And then I was not even satisfied/satiated. It was exhausting. I wanted more. More of anything.
Fortunatly, I was able to keep the damage to just that. And tomorrow I will be back on course.
except of course it will be tiring to be on course. I am strong. But this food monster, as I now call it, is exhausting. Sadly, my therapist is not really experienced in compulsive eating disorders. But it is correct that I work with her. So I am left to my own devices to deal with this monster.
I have prevailed over it. I am pretty much in maintence now. But it does not change the exhaustion. And the monster is once again gaining strength, if you know what I mean. Thanks for reading this I really wanted to try to put it out there.
lilturle: I'm so sorry to learn that you reached the point that you attempted suicide. While we're here to support you, I agree with Amy that a support group where you can meet face-to-face with people who share the same issues may be helpful to you. I hope you will reach out for help now. Though the crisis of the moment has passed, reaching out to connect with others is important to work out the issues that lead you to that point. Please, keep posting to the group. We all care about you and are here to love and support you.
Fleur: Have you had your in-person interview at the law office, yet? I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Fiona: I'm sorry you're dealing with so many stresses right now. Adopting Oscar when you think he would be more of a burden than a blessing, would be a mistake. I'm sure the breeder can find another home for him while you take on his sister and get a healthier kitten out of the next litter.
I met with my new trainer on Thursday. My first weight training session will be tomorrow afternoon. He's an adorable young college student. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer but very upbeat and chatty...and, I'll admit, not at all hard on the eyes. He even offered to help me with swim lessons to improve my technique. I haven't decided on that, yet.
The scale says I gained a pound this week. Stupid scale. I'm sure it is water weight, given the heat and humidity. I've been keeping up with my exercise routine. In fact, it is about time I got off the computer and got dressed to hit the road for a bike ride before the heat of the day gets any worse.
Worth the effort, I hope your training sessions go well. I've worked out with a few cute, fun and energetic trainers in my day too. I actually lost about 10 pounds with two of them! My only advice is to be your best guide, if for example, you feel nervous doing an exercise, tell this trainer and communicate with him. Your conscience gives you your best judgment, listen to it. Also, a lot of trainers can sell lots of products or packages, well the reason why is that I think a lot of them work on commission so don't let anyone pressure you. I'm not trying to be a downer, just my advice from my experience. Good luck!
Hello!
I can't wait to get back down there one day! 
It was a beautiful day! 
I am getting nervous about doing this SHRED diet, since I know nothing about it. I heard about it from a lady in a women's wellness group I participate in. I will read the books when they arrive and see if it feels doable. If not, I will probably try low carb. I need something to give me eating guidelines. I am afraid this SHRED diet might be too strict, but we will see. I do not want to just give up on it before I read about it, but I am really second guessing my decision. 
Typical of me. I think I am due to go back to my doctor soon to get my thyroid levels checked again. I am anxious to get my thyroid levels regulated, so that I am able to lose weight again. Will keep you all posted. My (15-yr-old) daughter is having a friend over tomorrow to swim, and then we are headed back up to the lake for the weekend. My son's girlfriend is coming back to visit (at the lake) on Saturday. He is head over heels for this girl! 
We like her but still don't know her that well. 
Kathleen, you are always so supportive 
Hannah, i haven't weighed myself in a while either, don't know if my ticker is correct, probably not. 
DH brings car and I bring my bike. we'll see friends we don't see all year. Looking forward to it!
Trish (Lilturtle)
I really like Amy's reply to you and the ideas she shared for when you are really struggling. Please reach out to someone next time instead of doing something harmful to yourself! You are much too precious to this group and to the world to lose you!!! I really don't know what else to say, except that you matter and your life has meaning..... just because you are on this earth. God has a plan for your life, whether or not you know what it is right now and even if you don't believe in Him. I believe that with every fiber of my being. You are here for a reason, Trish. The world would not be the same without you. You matter to me, to this group, and to more people than you know! I will stop my preaching now, but I am really worried about you! Are you getting any follow-up care? Is there anyone you can call when you are desperate? Do you have a plan to keep yourself safe? Just as with weight loss, we need to have a plan to turn to when the going gets tough. Which leads me to my final thought: Forget about that # on the scale..... at least for now!!! YOU are more important than any # on the scale!!! Please hang in there and take good care of yourself. Sending you my prayers, lots of love and support, and many hugs! 
