It's great to see you, Holly!
 

Hi Holly,

It's awesome to see you! How are you? Take care!

Amy

Welcome back, Holly! Glad to see you!

Well, I am feeling myself wanting to sneak away and hide, not talk to people. Just to be miserable all alone. I hate it when I get like this and want to isolate myself.

Hi Hannah,

:hug: I'm sorry that you're struggling. Sometimes I want to isolate too, I find it helps me to get out even if just for a walk, to run an errand or sit in the park. Can you reach out to a friend? Maybe a loved one?

Take good care!

Amy

Ugh.

Thank you Amy. :hug:
I just feel lousy and guilty. I feel guilty because I didn't write my food today, and I ate a whole sleeve of crackers instead of like, dinner. I am beating myself up, even though I know that isn't helping. I am trying to focus on the good choices that I made today (and there were many!). I even walked home from work, which is 2 miles. Bleh.

Well, turns out the weekend wasn't as awful as I thought. I returned to 182lbs this morning. Today was a bit crap on food. I had turkey bacon for breakfast, turkey wrap for lunch with low carb torilla, and a side salad. Then we had a cookout at work. I had a sausage with no bread, a very small amount of potato salad, and some corn pudding (it was delicious!), and a small amount of ice cream. I was proud in how much I controlled myself. I ate things I shouldn't have, but I controlled myself!

For dinner I had a chicken salad sandwich and some veggie chips, and a lindt truffle.

Not too bad today for the most part.

Also, I had an interview at a law office for a receptionist position. I think it went really well, but now it's the waiting game to see if I hear anything back.. I hate this part. I've had interviews were I've been immediately offered the job. Really hoping I don't have to wait long before I hear back. I really want this job!!!!

Hi there!

Hannah- Thanks for the hug! :cool: How kind of you!

Fleur- I'm glad your interview went well!! :carrot: My advice is to send a thank you note or thank you email.

I had a pretty good afternoon and evening, I went to an information session on bariatric surgery. I'm more inclined to consider Lap band, maybe sleeve. I learned a lot! WW for now though!

Take care and have a nice evening!

Amy.

Hi to everyone else!!! :D

I've just made a startling discovery...apparently I've been eating way to many vegetables. I finally pulled out my scale and checked a head of broccoli's weight...I had been just guesstimating and the amount of broccoli that I've been calculating at 3 net carbs but really should be more like 15! This might explain why I lost 12 pounds the first week when I was eating salads and when I switched to the other veggies I lost less than a pound the next week. What a ridiculous mistake to make!

It is quite a relief I must say. It was just way too much veggies at a time, I was having to force my meals down.

Hello
 

Hannah: Sorry you are feeling miserable and guilty! :( Do try not to continue to beat yourself up, as that tends to only make things worse. You would not beat one of US up for a slip, and you deserve the same mercy as well!!! :hug: Hope you are feeling a bit more positive by the time you read this. HOORAY for YOU for the many good choices you made today, including the walk home from work! :carrot: Let's choose to focus on the POSITIVE! :D

Sabrina: Glad to hear that the weekend wasn't as bad as you thought! What a relief for you, I'm sure! Hope and pray that you get the call back from the doctor's office. Amy had a good suggestion to write or email a thank you note. :) Please keep us posted!

Amy: Please try not to be too hard on yourself! It is easy for me to see that YOU should be better to yourself, but I am hard on myself, too. We all need to allow ourselves the same kindness that we give to others, I think! Let's work on that. Happy to hear that you are losing weight on WW! Continued success to you! And good luck with the online dating, if you go that route again! You will find the one for you when the timing is right! :hug: As I mentioned before, my good friend had the gastric sleeve done, and she lost about 75 pounds total! She looks great; like a new person! Makes me want to try it, but I am way too chicken!!!

Antonia: Glad you discovered that you were eating way too big of a portion of veggies, so that you can ease up and get on track with portions. You are doing great! Just adjust those portions, and keep up the good work! :D

Well, the latest with me is that I am going to try the SHRED diet, by Dr. Ian Smith. Please give me any input if you have heard ANYTHING about it, positive OR negative! I even ordered his shred emulsifier to make smoothies and other food items with. Got a good discount on it through the company. I ordered the books from Amazon, and I am going to give it a try. It is supposed to kick start weight loss, which I drastically need, and be something you can do long term; supposedly easy to follow; more like a lifestyle change, which I have been looking for. I will keep you all posted! I am nervous :o but excited :goodvibes to try something new. Walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes last night and did squats with a 20 pound kettlebell, but did not do ANY formal exercise today. Ugggh! Hate it when the day flies by and I don't get exercise in! :( I will exercise for sure tomorrow!

Waving hello to everyone :wave: and sprinkling you all with :dust:!!! Have a great day! :grouphug:

Thank you all for your kind words. I am ok. Someone said they could tell I lost weight. I don't really know how much I have, and plus I don't really believe her. I don't think I look like I have lost. In fact, I feel just as big as ever. I sat in the bathroom today, staring at my bare belly, feeling all mopey for myself. I hate doing that because I really don't do it as often as I used to, but when I do it brings down my mood terribly.

I have not weighed myself since my doctor's appointment. I don't have a scale and I just haven't gotten around to getting one. Had a lot of anxiety today because of things that were out of my control. I still took action and fixed what needed to be fixed (the cause wasn't my fault but the solution was my responsibility). That has been taken care of but my bank account is a lot less now. That has me anxious. I mean, I know we are ok, we are fine. We have food, the lights are on, we have internet. Nothing to worry. But yet I still am...

Food has been ok. Still measuring. Still matching proteins with carbs. I don't know if I mentioned it, but I am insulin resistant and I have difficulties with my blood sugar staying stable. The protein matching has been working fabulously. However, I didn't write what I ate. I know I stayed within my limit as I have had reasonable portions and meals. But that the anxiety of not being sure is getting to me. I don't know why I keep putting it off because I know how much it was helping.

Sabrina - I am so happy for you for maintaining and getting a good interview. I agree that following up with them is a good idea. It keeps you in the front of their mind. :)

Amy - Wow! That sounds like a big decision. I hope WW is still working out for you! :goodvibes

Antonia - What a surprising discovery! You are doing wonderful! :cp::cp::cp:

Opps!

I pressed post too quickly! I didn't forget you, Kathleen!! :)

I have never heard of that diet, so I can't give you an opinion on it. Keep us updated on how it is going for you!

Hi there Hannah! I am down another 2 lbs at WW as of tonight, big yay! :carrot: I'm going to stick to WW for now but if I do decide to do lap-band, I think that would be good, I hope WW works for me for now. I got my key ring from WW tonight because I've attended 4 weeks in a row :D. I also have my Bravo sticker from tonight and my 5 pound weight loss star from over the weekend. :D

Have a good night!

Amy :)

Just jumping in to say a quick hello. I've been super busy this week. Holly, it's great to hear from you. I'm sorry you've been struggling. :hug:

I'm back at the gym tonight. Sabrina, I've booked a personal trainer who specializes in weight lifting in order to learn proper form. Today, I receive my "pre-training fitness assessment" and then we'll probably start the program next week. Five sessions cost $113--expensive! So, my plan is to stretch those out for five weeks by having him show me moves, give me assignments to carry out, work on my own, then meet again the following week. I've asked for training in both lifting and kettlebells. We'll see how it works out.

Congratulations Amy!! That is great news! I am very happy for you :) :)

That is pretty expensive, Worthy, however putting down that much money is more likely to make me stick to it! Way to go! I hope it works out for you. Keep us updated!

=whew= I'm back from the farm, and just finished carrying everything in, opening my mail, checking my email...all of that stuff that piles up after a long absence from home. We had lovely weather—cool at night, pleasantly warm during the day, hardly any bugs—and I got my much-needed break from the BERP (and the Net). 'Spent a lot of time in the hammock on the front porch, and a lot of time in "my room"—formerly the front parlor, with two windows opening onto the porch.

I already love that room—this is an early 19th-century lath-&-plaster farmhouse with terrific high ceilings and sash windows—but lots needs to be done to make it into an auxiliary studio and general hang-out for Fi. I've installed a short couch (loveseat?) in lipstick-red leather—very simple, ultra-modern, a couple of small, minimalist tables & storage units, and a bright-blue suede ottoman, square & modern in lines. Don't get too excited for me, though: the paint in there is pale yellow with ghastly light-green trim, and there's a hideous gold-&-crystal overhead light, so I can hardly wait until I get the walls white-white, the trim a serious grey, and the lighting fixture outta there! I'm going to get a 15-foot-long industrial table, rectangular rugs in black & white patterns, and 3 simple aluminum hanging lamps for over the table. I'm aiming for it to be a necessary escape from the country-corny frou-frou look of the rest of the house (lots of pink—yuck), but more importantly, a place for me to work. My plans for my art are to work larger with more ambitious effects—including acrylic paint. I'm going to make some of my backgrounds at the farm. I figure a clean modernistic environment, in the delicious silence at the farm—not to mention being away from all my distracting "cutter" books and clipping collections—will be a great place to dream up complex, messy, but basically inobtrusive underpinnings for my collage.

The wonderful silence, though, was not much in evidence over the 4th-of-July weekend. Bob's family were there in a major way: demented & hard-of-hearing mother, noisy sister, noisy niece, other noisy niece, and the niece's noisy family—all very nice people, for sure, but they included my two worst bugaboos: a large, loud dog (barking and howling) and a small, even louder, shrieking toddler. Eeeek!!

I was stressed out to the max the whole time they were there, because their racket ricocheted all around that very "live" (in an audio sense) farmhouse. Plus there were pancakes, English muffins, sweet corn, cherry pie, sugar glaze on the fish, cookies, you name it in the way of carbo stress. And they insisted on stealing a whole half-pint of my cream to make sugar-infected whipped cream for the damn pie! And they even smoked cigarettes on the front porch, blowing smoke right into my room!

Yes, folks, they drove me batty. I broke down late at night after everyone had gone to bed and ate pie, cookies, honey, maple syrup, the works. I haven't had such a lapse from my diet since November.

I don't feel guilty, though, just more determined than ever to defend my mental space, avoid such gatherings in the future, fix up my room there as a place to work, bring ear plugs the next time, and in general stay committed to what's important to me: weight loss and art. (And kittens, of course.)

That's all I feel like writing at the moment. Bob and I did have some good alone time before the Mongol hordes arrived and after the Mongol hordes vacated the place, but the weekend itself was a disaster. And now I'm back to the BERP. =sigh=

Kathleen - I'm not at all familiar with the Shred diet. I hope it works out well for you. Walking on the treadmill and doing squats is formal exercise! Don't sell yourself short. :)

Hannah - If you don't have a scale, do you have a measuring tape? Or even a piece of string. I saw a recommendation on another sight to mark a string for your problem area (say hips or waist) and then you can compare that size you your current size as you go along. Makes for a nice visual, especially since it takes us quite a while (I can't remember, but seems like it was a couple months) to see ourselves the way we really are when our bodies are changing.

Amy - Congrats on your 2lb loss!! :yay: And great job with WW. I know several people who had great success with WW.

Worth - I think it would be very interesting to try a trainer for a while. Sounds like you have a good plan with the once a week sessions. I bet you'll totally feel ready to go it on your own by the end. One of these days I'm going to bite the bullet and take some kickboxing classes, maybe that will be my reward for hitting wonderland! :)

Fi - You are going to have a really lovely studio. The art will just flow right out of you! :) Families can be loud! The last time my extended family got together I ended up having a complete breakdown and crying in the corner. The only way I could stay half-way under control was to drink coke and rum non stop the whole time they were there, so I totally understand about your late night "snack". It is great you aren't feeling guilty, that doesn't help anything...just hop back on the wagon! :hugs: BTW, pictures of kittens would be appreciated!

Nothing much going on with me. It is raining off and on again here, so the ground is always wet and I haven't been able to mow in ages. Extreme tree cover keeps the grass from growing as fast as it might, but it is getting up there. I really have to get my fence put up now too...I've been putting it off for 3 years but my dog has gotten in a habit of wandering down the street and barking at people who are in their own yards, and that I can't tolerate. I don't know where she picked up the habit of barking (didn't bark once the first year I had her), but I can't stand barking dogs. I don't allow her to at home, but if she gets out her brain shuts off and she can't hear a word I say. Most of the work of the fence I can do myself, but I need help with the posts, mainly because I'm too chicken to run a post hole digger myself. So the next dry weekend we have I'm going to try and get my Dad and brother to help put in the posts. Then I can do the cross bars and pickets a little at a time in the evenings. That'll give me something to do besides watching tv...