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-   -   Food is my only comfort... (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/depression-weight-issues/295757-food-my-only-comfort.html)

Vaitelias 05-12-2014 07:49 PM

Food is my only comfort...
I've had depression my whole life, but its gotten a lot worse over the past several years. SO much worse. And as much as I want (NEED) to lose weight, I just can't seem to give up food. It's the one and only thing that can make me feel just a little bit better, even if only for a short while. I haven't found anything else that can ease the pain like food can. So, I just don't know what to do. I feel like my only options are to be forever fat or eat less while feeling like I want to kill myself all the time (not exaggerating). There's a lot more details to the story, but I'm gonna keep it simple for now.

Have any of you found anything else that has an uplifting effect similar to food? The more depressed I get, the more I eat...and I REALLY need to stop. :(

seabiscuit 05-12-2014 08:37 PM

Hi there,

I understand about food being comforting, I have found that it was comforting all too long and it is a danger in reality when eaten to excess, that has become my reality. I am currently considering getting Lap-Band. I know that won't solve my issue with emotional eating and it would be a huge lifestyle adjustment, but I find that being obese is negatively affecting my life.

When I used to binge, I eventually started asking myself whether or not it was worth it and I had a moment of reality/a light bulb, what on Earth was I doing to my body!? I still overeat but not to the point that I used to.

Ask yourself if it is worth it to stuff yourself, and numb your emotions, why not try dealing with them in therapy instead? Have you thought about other hobbies that you may enjoy to keep your hands busy such as knitting, writing, playing with an animal or go for walks or swims or bicycle rides?

This is your life, take it back! I don't want you to feel hurt that I am giving tough love but you only live once.


Mii 05-13-2014 12:51 AM

No, not really. I am taking appetite suppressants to deal.

astrophe 05-13-2014 02:14 AM

Which kind of food?

What triggers the depression?

I found reading this book helpful.



Earthling 05-14-2014 01:37 PM

I don't really have anything profound to say about depression that no one has ever said before. Or the eating that accompanies it.
But I can relate to having suicidal thoughts due to depression, most of it I attributed to my parents growing up.

This may or may not help. I know it sounds completely loopy and I am NOT in any way religious, but one thing that SERIOUSLY kept me living was the revelation that I had probably signed a spiritual contract to be here. Trust me, I am not saying this merely because it sounds cool and it is something that I want to be true. I don't want it to be true...but... I think it is. Loopy. I know. But what if?

It is a long story on how I arrived at this conclusion and it will certainly sound strange but the point is... this is what I believe... and it is NOT what I WANT to believe. They are separate things. I wish the whole relationship between life/death/souls/physical reality were different... but I cannot deny the unfortunate pattern that is the best fit in my mind on how things work. Which means... we repeat unlearned lessons. :( And I even know what my lessons are for this life. I have 7 of them.

And while I could break my contract via suicide, I would then be required to repeat my lifetime, or a similar life with the same struggles, all over again. And it would be harder because there would be new lessons attached to it. So ending my life isn't actually ending my life at all. It is just making it harder in the next one.
Now... if you hate living so much... is suicide really a solution? Nope. Bummer.
So, if you are feeling particular edgy one day then ask yourself just What If? I certainly don't want to risk it.

Michou 05-14-2014 02:02 PM

for me it is art, painting. I started many years ago while I was having chronic pain issues which would make me depress. I started painting and the first thing I would know many hours had passed. I was still in pain but it was not the center of my life any more, the more pain, the more painting. Food or hunger for something is like pain it envelops you until your mind is totally taken by it.

At the end I would feel accomplished instead of defeited to the point that I made a carreer out of it.

Best of luck

patns 05-14-2014 02:28 PM

If you are eating lots to overcome emotional pain I'll bet you are eating high carb comfort foods. These push you to eat more of them. Instead of trying to cut way back on how much you are eating maybe try to change what you are eating. Get a good low carb cookbook and try to eat that way for a while and see if that helps. Dana Carpender's cookbooks are really good and have recipes that are really satisfying.

lostbutstilltrying 05-14-2014 03:26 PM

Food is such a trap. We have to eat. When I am not eating, all I think about is eating. When I eat, I am happy - the rest of the world falls away - there is only the tastes, the textures. None of the problems that are always eating away at my brain can break through. The act of eating, is one of profound relief. But then, afterwords - I never have eaten well enough. To much food or the wrong kind of food, or not the right foods - I just feel worse afterwords and then have to deal with that on top of the pile of problems that have now come back.

I feel your pain and I don't know how to break the cycle either.

alexhanney08 06-16-2014 02:03 AM

Try to find something that will have your interest like painting, drawing, and writing of poems, exercising, and others. It is not all about eating sometimes we need some good activities. Reading books can help you too. When I am sad the more I want to exercise. Yes, exercise is one of my stress reliever and it works for me.

IanG 06-16-2014 09:59 PM

For me, it's exercise. If I run or weight train, I feel so close to pain/exhaustion that any anxiety or depression is just purged. There is just no room left in my head to be anxious or depressed.

BettyBooty 06-17-2014 11:01 AM

For me it is exercise, too. I run after dinner, around 7 pm. If I don't get out and run, I am more likely to look for snacks to eat with the kids, and Lord knows I don't need that.

Last week, when my husband was in the hospital, I didn't feel like getting out and exercising and reverted to eating sugary and carby snacks all evening. Like, finishing a box of cheesy-crackers or the kids' fruit snacks every other day. Terrible cycle to be back in, and I felt like dog poop by Friday. I am feeling so much better now that I am getting out again in the evenings.

Just wanted to add that before getting on meds and into therapy, my go-to aside from food was smoking. Two lovely habits for sure! Everybody desperately wants to be a fat smoker, right? I was sure that I was destined to be sad and die young so I kind of didn't give a damn. Proper medication and some therapy really helped me see that I needed to love myself and treat my body better. It isn't always easy, but just gotta keep moving forward.

flower123 06-18-2014 03:57 AM

Hi i hear ya re the depression. i too suffer from it. And I have been baking and eating the most outrageous browinies. Complete comfort baking and eating. I do not exercise. It would be great if i did. But I dont.

What you write about is such a tough one, I know. I love cooking. It is my passion. I love eating. It is my comfort. And yet, somehow I found the way to get in the groove of dieting. Then the comfort was in the way I felt losing the weight.

I wish I had the forumla re how to, as I call it, get into the groove of it. Its one of those things I call "a grace". Like when I stopped smoking cigarettes. One day I was ready. It was very hard. but I was resolved. I cant tell anyone how to do it. Because I do not know. I know some people have luck with food issues using meridian tapping aka eft.

I know that getting involved in a hobby cann help divert the thoughts of food. Although sometimes with depression getting involved in doing anything is not possible. I have been maintaining. and yet i know that overeating relapse is just a breath away. And truthfully, I am in relapse at the moment. Scary stuff.

I am sending good thoughts your way. I know only too well how hard this whole thing is. Its been a lifelong struggle for me. Both depression and weight. And believe me, lifelong is not a short time when it comes to this chick :D

lucindaarrowspark 06-18-2014 08:04 AM

I suffer/suffered from depression too. I have been mean to my kids b/c I wanted them to go to sleep so I could eat my sugar laden binge food of choice in private. I avoided social situations because I was embarrassed at how fat I got.
I had chronic headaches and paranoid thoughts. I was always short tempered with my husband and I treated him as though he thought I was a burden.
And then I hit rock bottom. I wore the same ratty night gown for days in a row. I stopped brushing my teeth and my hair.
I found this community, 3fatchicks and I am now in recovery!

kcandponies 06-20-2014 10:22 AM

Ugh, it's a terrible circle. Depressed because I am fat. Eat because I am depressed. Stay fat, stay depressed. It never ends. At one point my Dr. decided we should try meds. I tried a few, hated the side effects then read a book "The Depression Cure" by Stephen Ilardi. Basically, the recommendations are takeing vitamins, fish oil, getting enough sleep, getting sunlight, exercising, and having a support system. While I don't think you can CURE depression this way, I will say my mood has improved about 50% just by adding a few things. I get outside more, even if just to sit and read. I try to take a walk a few times a week - not running or powerwalking or going to the gym. Just a walk. I count shopping for 3 hours with a friend walking. I shared my struggle with a friend and she check on me and is encouranging without nagging. I am taking fish oil capsules and vitamins. I need to sleep more, but who has the time?
There has to be SOMETHING that will help your mood lift. Do you have time to volunteer? It is puppy and kitten season right now and millions of animals need homes. Shelters will let you volunteer to clean cages....and who can be sad when they are playing with puppies or kittens? Watch your favorite movie, or a bunch of comedies. Laughing helps boost your mood. Take a hot bath. Don't focus on just the food. Don't try to give up eating either, it won't work and you will just feel worse when you binge. I am still depressed, still fat, and still a work in progress. It was taking these little steps over a few months that helped me get strong ehough to now deal with a diet and losing the weight.

Gingerjv 06-20-2014 02:54 PM

I am truly an emotinal eater! I also suffered from depression. But i found out the way out: healthy food and hobbies!! Try to find something that will help you to forget about the food! do pleasant things for yourself: take a bath, go to the long walk, buy something you really wanted but couldn't for some reasons. Hobbies and interests help to forget about the food for sure!

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