Okay, I am trying this post by copying and pasting from a Word document! Let’s see how this goes…..

Chelsea: I was SO incredibly happy to hear from you, but sorry to hear that you have been really down. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! Hope things turn around for you SOON!!!

Trish: CONGRATULATIONS on your weight loss, especially losing 100 pounds in one year!!! That is FANTASTIC!!!!!!! At this rate, you will get to your goal of being in the 200’s by the end of the year! How exciting!!! I am so happy for you!!! I am also glad to hear that there isn’t as much pressure on you to move as you originally thought.

Holly: Congratulations to YOU on being only 10 pounds away from your lowest ever adult weight!!! That is truly INCREDIBLE!!! Good for you! I get the feeling you are a “get ‘er done” type of gal! I need some of that!!! Thank you again for all of your thoughtful and kind responses to everyone in the group. I really appreciate it! You are such an asset to this group!

Amy: So sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed with all of the packing you need to do, along with everything else. Try to do just ONE thing at a time and continue to BREATHE! This too shall pass. You will be moved, life will go on, and ALL will be well….. soon! I hope you come to a peaceful decision on your surgery and surgeon. Too bad you had that horrific experience last time. Don’t blame you for not wanting to go through THAT again! I will keep you in my prayers as you continue to pack, move, and make decisions about the surgery. You have a lot on your plate right now. Please try to be patient with yourself!

Fi: Holy cow, you are the ONLY person I know of that has more books than I do!!! I hope your back holds out as you move all of those heavy books around! It sure sounds like you are getting a lot accomplished in your house. That is great!!! Keep up the good work! That is interesting about your experience before and at the drug store. You have such great insight into yourself and your behaviors. As someone who is always trying to analyze my own and others’ behavior, I admire your self-knowledge. You are an inspiration to me in this regard! Knowing WHY you are behaving a certain way is often half of the battle! Good for you for RESISTING all of that candy you had to pass in the aisles of that drug store!!!

ohiofreespirit: It is great to hear from you again, but sorry you have been so sick! I am glad to hear that you feel a bit better today. Hopefully, you are on the mend! I was also on Lamictal for a long time to prevent the really low lows. I just tapered off of it around the end of 2013. I think it did help me, and I was able to go off without event now that I am feeling more UP. I hope it will help you. Funny that you are driving to Columbus for your Math class. You are in my neck of the woods then! Is it at DeVry here in Columbus? I know you said that at least ONE of your courses would be at DeVry. Hope school is going well for you this quarter/semester. I also hope your daughter had a happy 21st birthday. What did you end up getting her?

Sabrina: So sorry you had that awful experience trying on clothes at Walmart. I can so relate to that experience and the depression, frustration, and disappointment that go along with it. Been there LOTS of times. Be patient with yourself! Your pregnancy was really such a short time ago. You will get to where you want to be in time. Glad that you made it back to the cemetery to visit Isabelle’s grave for Memorial Day. I really like how you said that you can always make sure that she has a “beautiful place to sleep.” You are a great mother!!! (insert hearts) I am so happy to hear that you and your hubby are going to go on that trip to Nashville (IN?) this summer ~ complete with wine and a hot tub in your room! No doubt you both need it after all you have been through!

lostbutstilltrying: It is great to see you continue to post and to post personals, but do please also tell us how YOU are doing! We care and we want to be here to support you, too! How did your physical go? Have you mustered up the courage to join a gym yet? YOU CAN DO IT!!!

worththeeffort2: You are doing SO WELL with exercise!!! Glad to hear that you realize how far you have come! Hope that helps to boost your mood at least a little! Thanks for the tip on typing up a response separately and copying and pasting it to the reply link. It is SO frustrating to lose a post that I have put so much time into….. let alone five!!!

MonteCristo: Your family sounds very interesting….. like mine! Never a dull moment! I hope the visit with your aunt, uncle, and grandma went well and without event. So sorry that you had such a traumatic experience with the argument between your uncle and dad last time. I hate family conflict, too! Hope your little sis had a happy 9th b-day!!! Did she get her “real” handcuffs?

Well, I worked out with my trainer yesterday, but need to still work out today. I am extremely frustrated with my body and house clutter, but determined to CONQUER it….. one day at a time!!! It is a daily challenge for me. Food could be better. Still working with the doctor on getting to the correct dose of thyroid med. Weight has maintained at about 214. Can’t wait to get back into the 100’s. I CAN DO IT!!! Please, Lord, HELP ME!!!

Hi there...

I am glad to be seeing my therapist tomorrow after seeing the vet for Snicks nail trim and picking up his records.

I appreciate all of the kind words. Just to clarify, I think my surgeon is awesome and I have decided to have him do the next surgery. It was frustrating with being stuck a lot for an IV at my last surgery which was so upsetting. I think that the surgery has been a great help in my daily life.

So I don't remember when I last told you about my 'iffy' friends, well one of them decided to be a complete @ss to me, so I am glad that I know his true feelings so I won't waste time with him.

Have a good night. I hope tomorrow is better.

Amy

I had to go down to the social security office because I need a new card. It was a zoo and just as bad as going to a welfare office. I am a little grumpy today. It's raining and I got like 4 hours of sleep. The person who took me also treated me to Subway so that was nice.

Hi all! short post today as it is a down day - just a note to let ya know where I am at - kinda sorta passed my physical, did the physical lifting and bending and walking part just fine, which I am happy about because I was worried about it. BUT when they found out I have absense (small) seizures, they said I might not qualify for training and a job. I haven't been able to afford a neurologist in years, but I booked an apt with one and I have to see if he will give me meds and a note that will let me work -

The job training place will let me take the classroom part of the training, 40 hrs a week for 5 weeks, but if I can't get the doc to sign off on me working in patient care (in the next 5 weeks) I get the boot and no certification and no job (after all that work) it's very nerve wracking.

but what really tipped my day over to the sad side of the force was getting made fun of when I tried to run for a bus. Not only was I really really bad at running (couldn't even run a few steps) but people shouted at me to "run fat lady run" and then complained that I smelled when I got on (I was red and sweaty from running a block)

now I know these people were jerks and that I am out of shape which is what I am working to change, but it still made me cry ...... stupid jerks

I will catch up with everybody later, and I WILL work up the nerve to join the gym, just haven't done it yet (but the weeks not over yet) It's 3pm and I am just now eating lunch as those stupid bus jerks made me so ashamed of myself I couldn't eat at lunch time.

love to everybody

Hi there...

Hi little turtle!

Lost but still trying- I'm so sorry people were mean to you. I have been made fun of because of my weight too, it's mean. Hugs.

Good luck with the neurologist. I have seen neurologists for migraines.

Take care.

Amy

lostbutstilltrying: I am so sorry you encountered those ignorant jerks today. I'm sure many of us have been there, too, and understand the pain you feel at being singled out. I'm glad you allowed yourself to cry in order to vent the pain. I hope you're able to let that pain go now. You're a beautiful person. We're all here to support you!

lostbutstilltrying: I am so very sorry that those stupid jerks were so mean to you when you were running for the bus. That really makes me angry!!! Please consider that they are just rude and insensitive people and try to let it go. I know that is way easier said than done, but jerks like that do not deserve your time or energy!!! I am sending you COURAGE for joining the gym! Do it for YOU!!! You deserve to be healthy and fit!

lostbutstilltrying - Sorry that happened to you. That would upset me too.

Not much to report. Eating almost the same thing every day. I think I will weigh myself over the weekend.

lost, I am so sorry those ignorant soulless beings were such jerks, oh how it hurts to hear crap like that You just keep on being you and we are on your side hon!!!!

I will be back to say hey to everyone soon, gotta clean up from dinner but had to give lost a hug!

Hit the gym hard this week. My muscles are tired and sore but I'm hoping I accomplished a big time fat burn. Since I was unchanged last week, I'm crossing my fingers that I lose two pounds this week. Sunday is my monthly weigh and measure.

The next doctors appointment is this coming Thursday. I suspect I'm going to be moved into the transition stage of the weight loss program, so I'll move out of ketosis and back to eating carbs. I plan to continue avoiding refined sugar but honestly, I am truly looking forward to being able to have a sandwich.

thank you for the hugs everyone, knowing that people care makes a difference. I will pick up and keep going on, I hope that everyone has a good weekend

I saw the attached image on Facebook and snatched it to share here because it speaks to my journey and I think it might speak to others, as well.

If you can't read the image, it says: "It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not."

It's the same epiphany I came to a few weeks ago, when I was struggling so much. It's not a matter of can and can't. It's a matter of will and won't. When I'm fighting for each step on the treadmill, track, or elliptical, I repeat that phrase to myself before chanting inside my head, 'I will take this step.' Doing that forces me to own my choices.

Have a blessed day, everyone.

Hi there...

I love the positivity in this thread, which I need to hear! I have a head cold and I'm trying to get ready for my move. I'm pretty tired...

Take care and my apologies for a short message...

Amy

Well, Darryl from Books for America came today, and left with about 800 books. Not as many as we hoped he'd take, 'cause the woman who talked to me on the phone told me erroneously that they take hardcover fiction that's older than two years—which they don't. So I still have at least 700 more books to get rid of.

But one good thing about living in the DC area is that a lot of charities have their main offices nearby. Darryl told me that another organization, American Veterans, will pick up the remainder of what we have, so long as it's in boxes or bags. (Books for America was great 'cause they provided their own boxes.) I can't imagine someone carrying a bunch of heavy hardcovers out to a truck in bags, but as it happens, my BERP efforts so far have freed up some boxes. Not enough, though—I have to do more BERP-ing to come up with more boxes. It's amazing how many boxes of miscellaneous paper I have squirreled away everywhere!

I just re-read those two paragraphs. I need to apologize to y'all for how utterly boring my postings have been of late. Opening boxes, clipping images, sorting clippings, moving books from one place to another—it's all paper. That's my life, doing various things with paper: before the BERP, during the BERP, and after the BERP. You can't be a collage artist if you don't love paper, that's for sure. But these days I don't have time to make art with paper, 'cause all this fuss is about getting excess paper out of our house—plus bringing some order to the great mass that remains. =sigh=

Since Sunday night is our weekly date to have our niece Margaret and her son Gavin over, and I have to do some grocery shopping before that, tomorrow doesn't count as a day off. Therefore, I have decided to declare Monday a day of rest—from the moment I wake up...until I fall asleep that night. So there!

I'm just about climbing the walls here...I've had three episodes so far of completely breaking down and freaking out about the BERP. I don't want to have another one! When I became bipolar, I lost all my tolerance for stress...and this whole multi-week ordeal is STRESS CITY.

I hope y'all are having a more fun, more restful weekend than I am. =smile=

Hi there!

Fi, way to go regarding your huge progress with your BERP! Wow, that's awesome!!!

I, too get overwhelmed easily, stress is my enemy, ugh! I've become better at it but I still struggle.

Today I went to the doctor, I saw a doctor in my family physicians group, he was very kind and caring, I felt like I have some confidence in him, which feels great. He switched my antibiotic and slowly, I'm feeling better. I really didn't feel up to going to the doctor but I'm so glad that I did.

I restarted my Ok Cupid profile, I've been so pleasantly surprised by some nice guys. I chatted with one tonight on the phone, I am quite elated! He seems very kind, funny and sweet, also sincere. Warm fuzzy feeling!!!

Have a good night ladies!

Amy