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IBelieveInMe2 04-03-2014 11:50 AM

Ups & Downs Support Group: April 2014
Hello Everyone and :welcome3: to the April thread for the Ups & Downs Support Group! If you are new to the group, please post and tell us a little (or a lot) about yourself. If you are already part of the group, please post and let us know that you made it to the new thread! Everyone is welcome to participate. All that we ask is that you are willing to give and receive support in your weight loss journey. The name Ups and Downs reflects the ups and downs of life in general and especially life with depression and on medication, as well as the ups and downs in our weight. This is our space, so post away!!! Glad you found us! ;)

Lisa_C 04-03-2014 07:46 PM

Hi friends.

I hope this post finds you well.

I have been feeling pretty good, my mood is up. My anxiety is so so. Overall I am doing well. I am very lucky. The meds are doing their job which is all I can ask of them. I have had 3 days of appts, 1 Dr's appt, 1 chiropractor appt, 1 appt with the practitioner who gives me my meds for my depression. I've had a busy week.

They have pulled me out of one of my client's homes. They have bed bugs there. I'm the one who found them last week. The people that lived there didn't even know they had them. I found them in my client's clothes. They called me today and told me that we aren't going back in the home until the bugs are all gone. I understand but feel bad for my elderly client.

I want to tell you something funny. I got my eyebrows done today. She got them way, way too thin. I should be upset but I look kinda funny. I'm not taking it that seriously, it'll grow back and it doesn't look that bad, just weird. :D

I will check back in a day or two until then much love to all.

Fiona W 04-03-2014 11:17 PM

Howdy folks! I'm doing pretty well these days, churning out letters & postcards & original collage postcards at a decent pace, and digging back into my French reading and vocab. In reply to my long decorated letter in a handmade envelope, my Belgian friend Robine sent me a commercial card with one paragraph on it. I really expected a letter. She sounds like she's afraid of our relationship, at the same time she says she's "happy & proud" to be my friend. I'm still hopin' that she will get her pen and her heart moving across multiple pages for me, but I'm basically a hopeful person (when not depressed, of course). What can I do but write her back, say things to alleviate her fears, and see what happens from there...

I have another friend, an Aussie who lives near Sydney, who's bipolar, and I'm worried about her. She always gets a kick out of it when I send her batches of postcards in series, and she's fascinated by fonts, so I've been sending her an A to Z series of letter postcards, each letter in a different typeface. Sending one of them every postal day, I'm now all the way up to S and I haven't heard a peep from her. And she hasn't logged onto any of her usual Web haunts since late February. So I'm thinkin' maybe she's gone into a depression... =sigh=

Foodwise, I'm still undereating. I don't know why...I just have no appetite. I'm doing my leg exercises every night to try to jazz my metabolism. And I'm still struggling with insomnia. The only way I can get to sleep is to take a large dose of benzo, and my prescription is only for 15 of them a month. I don't want any more than that, 'cause if I took 'em every night I'd just get tolerant, and then they wouldn't work anymore.

But heck, if insomnia is the worst of my problems, I call that a good deal! =smile= What I do when I can't sleep is read detective novels until dawn, and there's no scarcity of detective novels in the world.

ohiofreespirit— Jeez, that's a bummer about the bedbugs. But I'm glad your mood is up. You sound like someone who knows how to count her blessings: I admire that!

1life2liv 04-03-2014 11:56 PM

Happy April everyone!!!! Not much has changed sine my last posts... I weighed in for the week, my first week on the diet pills, and lost 7 pounds!!! I'm so happy to lose weight again. That puts me at a total of 25 so far since January .

On a personal note I have been told that my job will be having a full time position opening up soon (hint hint) as my boss put it. It would be so nice to have benefits and paid vacation but I'm still going to school so I'm not sure I'm up for working full time and going to school full time, all while trying to make time for my three year old. I'll have to weigh the pros and cons I suppose.

So I am bad about setting small goals and always want to aim for the big picture. For example instead of wanting to focus on losing another ten pounds, I want to lose 100 total by June of next year. Is that unreasonable? I was 150 a year ago so I feel like I should be able to lose it in a year and a half. I feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment. I can say, though, this is the first time I have dieted and not tried to "cheat" the diet. Before I would work hard at it all week and then go crazy on the weekend. Or I would eat a salad but fill it with bacon, cheese, and ranch. Or add food into my fitness pal and put in one portion of something and actually ate double the serving. Also usually when I diet I seem to be hungrier than ever and crave ONLY the things I shouldn't eat. This time though, I am actually enjoy heating healthy, feel like it is a life change, and BELIEVE IN MYSELF!!! But I must remind myself, easy does it, one day at a time.

Until next time, stay awesome xoxoxox

Fiona W 04-04-2014 07:13 PM

I had an astonishing experience today. There's this 7-11 I go by on my way back from the post office (and I go to the p.o. 3-4 days a week) where I used to buy diet soda and the cookies I used to binge on. They're those bakery-made cookies in packs of 3, fresh every morning, and they come in 3 different varieties. I used to think of them as A, B & C cookies, where I had a definite preference for the A variety, liked just fine the B variety, and really did not like the C variety. I knew the morning patterns of that 7-11 very well: when the cookies arrived from the bakery, and when the store got packed with Hispanic day laborers buying their provisions for the day, mostly bottled water and sweets. The workmen seemed to prefer the A cookies as much as I did, 'cause there were rarely any left by 9 AM, and definitely none left by the afternoon....except on the occasional days when the workmen didn't show up. Like rainy days, wintry days.

So here I was, today, coming back from the p.o. and needing to buy something that was easy to pick up at that 7-11. I've been to that 7-11 a few times since I became binge-free in November, but not since I gave up diet soda. Now the cookies are displayed right on the counter between the two registers: you can't avoid being confronted with them. This would be the first time I'd have to stand there in front of the cookies without having my hands full with 6, 10, 12 bottles of diet soda. But I figured, "No big deal. It's afternoon on a nice day: the day laborers will have wiped out all the A cookies."

Instead, what happened was, I had to stand there for a looooong time, right in front of the cookie basket, because the guy ahead of me was buying all these complicated lottery & keno tickets, and guess what....there were three packages of the A cookies in the basket (!), more than enough, when combined with a couple packs of the B variety, for a good ol' fashioned Fiona binge. I couldn't take my eyes off those cookies! I could smell them right through the plastic! My mouth was literally watering! They were burning a hole in my consciousness! It hasn't been that long since I last ate them...only about 4 months! I wasn't thinking about will power, or about "brain over binge": all I could think about was those cookies.

But I didn't buy any. I purchased my item and left the store. When I got into my car, I just sat there for several minutes, shaking my head in amazement and thinking, "It's over. It's really over. I am no longer the slave of cookies." I used to buy other cookies, too, at other places, but if I had consciously set out to do so, I could not have devised a tougher test than the one I had just gone through.

Now I may buy an occasional organic vegan cookie (only 1 to a pack), but that's not in the same league. My bondage is over!!

It's incredible, just incredible...

1life2liv 04-06-2014 12:18 AM

Fiona!!!!! It is so great to hear that you overcame the cookie obstacle. And I know how hard it is to resist something when it is right in front of you!!!! Way to go girl and keep up the good work!!!!

so its a weekend and im really bad about splurging on the weekends because we are out and about so much and tend to eat most of our meals out. well guess what we did today??? we ate out for breakfast lunch AND dinner!! BUT guess what else..... I made healthy choices at all three meals. turkey bacon and egg whites for breakfast, salad for lunch and grilled chicken and veggies for dinner. I am so proud of myself! I feel like things are going too smooth this time, like its all going to fall apart at anytime. this is again where I have to remind myself, easy does it, one day at a time.

until next time stay awesome, xoxoxoxox

Fiona W 04-06-2014 04:18 PM

Good for you, 1life2liv, that you had such a great day eating out with healthy choices at all three meals! I'm too much of a homebody to eat out that much, but I did go to a Thai restaurant last night with my husband's family. I got grilled salmon with a sesame ginger topping that was delicious, forced myself to eat a few boring broccoli florets, and didn't have one grain of rice. And my mood stayed good all evening even though the rapid conversation was challenging!

It's a beautiful day today and I wish I could say I'm going to take a walk, but I'm afraid I'm just dying to get in my collage room and work on my new piece....

fatchicslim726 04-06-2014 06:52 PM

Hi y'all! I'm new to 3FC. My name is Laura, I'm 28 and I suffer from BDD, MDD, OCD and Social Anxiety. I am not currently medicated. I moved to Florida from my home state of Kentucky. I have yet to seek out medical help for my disorders here. Because of my social anxiety I have a hard time making appointments and following through with them. It gives me so much anxiety just thinking about having to call them to make the appointments, let alone leaving my home to go. My husband doesn't understand at all.

JElis017 04-06-2014 07:02 PM

hello! I'm new to the site logged in a few months ago and then just got busy. I've been diagnosed with depression anxiety and add. I work with young adults with special needs and love my job. I have two daughters and a husband.
Back in my you get days I was very athletic. I still love working out to this day but life has gotten in my way. My weight gain if 40 pounds has increased my depression and it's just a vicious cycle I was put on Paxil a year ago for anxiety and the weight gain happened in literally two months. Now it's stuck!!
I'm hoping to just get support and ideas here. I need something different so I hope this is a move in the right direction.

IBelieveInMe2 04-07-2014 01:24 AM

fatchicslim726: :wel3fc: and :welcome3: to our group Ups & Downs! So happy you found us! Sorry to sound ignorant, but please let me know what BDD and MDD are. I am so sorry that you are untreated where you live now. I hope that you will muster up the courage to call and make appointments, so that you can get on some meds that might help you get some relief from your disorders. I am also heartbroken to hear that your husband doesn't understand at all. That makes things even harder on you. :( Do you have any support people around you in Florida at all? I sure hope so. Even just ONE person that supports you can make a huge difference. Please feel free to share as much (or as little) as you want to here and we will all support you as best we can. I hope that you will consider making that call to have some professional support on your side as well. No pressure........ just hoping and praying for you! :hug:

JElis017: Hello and :welcome: to you as well! You touched my heart when you said you worked with young adults with special needs and love your job! I have a 14-year-old daughter who has Spina Bifida. I so relate to LIFE getting in the way of your workouts. I always seem to get sidetracked by all of the little things each day and find it somehow a challenge to get a workout in..... even though I am a stay-at-home mom and my kids are in school all day! I have to STOP what I am doing and let LIFE wait sometimes and make time for ME! I am no good to anyone else if I don't take care of myself first. But that is often easier said than done. I can also relate to weight gain with meds. I gained 60 pounds over a year's time on Zyprexa (dreadful drug!!!) years ago that I am still trying to get off of my body. I just found out that my thyroid levels were low, though, and got on a low dose of thyroid medication. So I am hopeful once again that maybe if I buckle down and eat healthy and exercise consistently, that I can finally LOSE some of this excess weight! Yes, being overweight is depressing in and of itself, and it does become a vicious cycle. BUT, with one another's help and support, WE CAN DO THIS!!! :D Thank you for posting. I wish you the best of luck on your weight loss journey! :hug:

Fi: I am SO happy for you and proud of you that you RESISTED those cookies at the 7-11!!! :D You are TRULY binge-free and it must feel incredibly wonderful!!! Brain over binge, baby!!! :carrot: On another note, I am sorry to hear that your current relationship with your Belgian friend, Robine, is not going as you had hoped. That must be difficult to accept. I sure hope your Aussie friend is okay and that you hear from her soon. I have a friend who I met on the internet years ago who I corresponded with on a regular basis. Suddenly, she seems to have disappeared from the face of the earth. I am beyond worried about her, but I just pray that she is okay. It is all that I can really do. I do hope that one day she will surprise me with an email. Last I knew, she was gaining weight and not doing very well emotionally. :( Is your appetite back yet? I hope you can manage to eat several small meals (or healthy snacks) during the day to keep your metabolism going for weight loss. I also hope that you get relief from your insomnia. A good night's sleep is so important! Hang in there, my friend! :hug:

ohiofreespirit: I am happy to hear that your mood is up and your meds are doing their job! Sorry about your client who has the bed bugs. I understand you feeling badly for your client since they are elderly, but it truly is in your best interest to stay away until those darn bed bugs are gone. From what I understand, they are extremely difficult to get rid of. That is a funny story about your eyebrows being too thin. :lol: At least you have a sense of humor about it. That is awesome! :)

1life2liv: Congratulations on losing 25 pounds since January!!! That is fantastic!!! :D You should really be proud of yourself! Have you decided if you will go for the full time position at your job? Good luck with whatever you decide to do. That is wonderful that you enjoy eating healthy this time around and really feel like you are making a life change..... AND you believe in yourself. All three of those things are so crucial to success. Keep up the great work! :D Good for you for eating healthy at all three meals OUT yesterday!!! We eat out way too often, so I know how difficult this can be. You sure seem to have your head in the game right now. That is great!

As for me, I have been a bit loose with eating lately. :o I'm not eating terrible things, but just not being as careful with my choices as I should be. I need to refocus my efforts and make healthy eating at each meal a PRIORITY in my life right now. Still exercising twice a week with my trainer and trying to get in at least 2 other days of cardio on my own. Still doing mostly the bike due to plantar fasciitis. I follow up with my podiatrist in the morning (Monday) and will most likely get another steroid shot and get fitted for professional insoles. I will be so happy to get back on the treadmill without pain!!! Hope I look as forward to it when I can do it again as I do now! I have already noticed an increase in my energy level since I began taking the thyroid medication. Fatigue is something I fight very often, so it is a great relief to me to have some energy for a change. :) Waving hello :wave: to everyone!

MonteCristo 04-07-2014 02:49 PM

Hi all. I'm new to this forum, but I think it may be just what I need.

I was a very dedicated member of 3FC back a few years, losing from 220 to 155 over the course of 2 years. And then a pretty serious family crisis hit, which lasted about 3 years, and completely upset my apple cart. It has been resolved now, but the anxiety issues that I developed during that time got steadily worse and worse. I've always disliked crowds and unexpected changes in plans, but it got to the point I was having panic attacks on a daily basis for apparently no reason, and if a room I was in was small or got crowded things were immeasurably worse. I'm very short tempered anyway, and the constant state of anxiety caused me to be basically vicious all the time. I self medicated with food causing my current weight problem. Finally, enough was enough, and my doctor put me on an anti-depressant, which was awesome...like I was a whole new person.

However, over the past 2-3 years I've gotten in the habit of doing nothing, mainly because it was all I could do to just get through the day at work, and then just sit on the couch the rest of the time. I'm having the hardest time getting back to exercising or cooking or just about anything. I don't "feel" depressed, I partially think I'm just lazy, but I'm ready to start taking little steps towards being "normal" again. I've started cooking again, and started back with some hobbies (finally finished a headboard I started 1 year ago), so I'm feeling good about that, but I know I have a ways to go.

Anyway, so that's my story. I want to lose weight for general health reasons, and specifically because I have severe neck and back pain when I'm heavier, and it is gotten pretty bad since I've been over 220. More energy is another goal.

Thanks for reading all that...felt good to type it out. :)

IBelieveInMe2 04-07-2014 09:48 PM

MonteCristo: :welcome: to our group! I am happy that you posted. Congratulations on your incredible weight loss from before the family crisis! The fact that you did it before means that YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN!!! It sure sounds like you've had a rough several years, but YOU SURVIVED and you are here reaching out for support!!! That is wonderful! I hope you will find this a safe place to come and give and receive support from others in the group. I wish you the best of luck on your weight loss journey! :hug:

Fiona W 04-08-2014 10:49 PM

Howdy folks! It's really starting to be gorgeous here: daffodils, forsythia, redbuds, magnolias, dogwoods, the famous DC cherry trees...I could go on and on. The colors of spring where I live are mostly yellow and pink and white, and of course that heartbreaking soft green of the tiny new leaves on all the deciduous trees...

But have I gone for a walk lately? No, no, no. I've been cooped up inside, working like a fiend all weekend and Monday, too, on my biggest collage ever: 11" x 16", both sides. Zillions of gnarly little bits to cut out, layers and layers of background and foreground, and even an elaborate border design. All, I repeat, on both sides.

'Sounds weird, I know...why would anyone make art on both sides of a piece of paper? Because it was for a fold-n-mail project, where you fold your art into thirds, so that the inside becomes the "message" part and the outside becomes the decorated envelope part. You tape it together, arrange a little collage of vintage stamps for the postage, and in the only spot you left bare, write the recipient's address. I took it to the post office today to get the stamps hand-cancelled: it's on its way to Maine.

I'm not complaining about all those hours and hours of work, though. Not in the least: I loved every minute of it! I'm so happy to have enough energy to do this kind of stuff. I used to be depressed about three days out of four—not big-time painful depression, usually, but draggy and low, especially in the afternoons. But not now! I don't know quite why I've entered into this phase of being a driven artist, but I'm betting that being mostly off carbs, especially 100% free of sugar, has a lot to do with it. I seem to have a brain that functions best on a diet of protein and fat, especially butterfat. The only downside is that it's taken me nearly 60 years to figure that out. Better late than never, I guess.

And of course the other part is finally figuring out what brings me the most joy. I've had a lot of different jobs—everything from legal consultant to brain researcher to sailing instructor to book reviewer—but none of them compare to the nonstop pleasure of being an artist.

Am I losing weight? I have no idea. I've stopped over-indulging on the muesli, and in fact am limiting myself to a quarter cup a day. I apparently need just a little bit of carbs to keep from getting jittery & generally off-kilter, but I refuse to eat any more than absolutely necessary. Only time will tell whether this diet that fuels my brain so well will start melting off the pounds again.

I'm doing my leg exercises every night, and I can really tell because running up and down the stairs is very easy. But I need to pry my hands off the scissors, paper & glue long enough to start walking on a regular basis.

Sorry if I sound a little scattered...I'm doin' so much art, I'm gettin' out of practice at writing. It's great to see the new folks here! Keep posting, y'all, and you'll find this is a very supportive group.

MonteCristo— I've got a similar story: I lost 100 pounds back in 2007-09, then a long & arduous family crisis hit, and I gained it all back plus 20 pounds more. I'm slowly working my way back down, and I'm determined: this time I make it all the way to goal weight. We did it once, we can do it again, right? Right!

We don't seem to have heard from Holly in a while...I hope she soon will escape from that dastardly boss, and be into the pleasurable phase of the year. Maybe she's not posting because she's in transition?

Anyway, I'm wishing everyone well! =big grin=

mb2004 04-08-2014 11:04 PM

Hey everyone! Im here because After having my son after (a very traumatic birth) I developed late onset Post Partum Depression (It didnt hit till he was about 6 months and it was a huge battle till he was about 9months), along with the post partum depression I went from being 270 (below my pre pregnancy weight!) to 315 the biggest I have EVER been (minus when I was hospitalized for pre-enclampsia, and swelled majorly due to pre enclampsia). I decided I want to be healthy. I want to show my son what a healthy parent looks like. I'm currently at 299. working towards my next goal. I just got word today that I have health insurance once again! Can't wait to go to the doctor and get back on my ADHD meds and talk to him about my goals in losing weight.

IBelieveInMe2 04-09-2014 10:20 AM

mb2004: :welcome3: to our group! I am sorry that you had to go through post-partum depression and gaining weight. Great news that you have your health insurance back! Hope you will get your ADHD meds soon and be on your way to the weight loss that you desire! So happy you posted. :)

Fi: Sounds like you have been a very busy artist!!! Glad you enjoy it so much. Good for you for doing your leg exercises every night. I hope you will allow yourself the time to get outdoors and walk and enjoy all of those beautiful trees and flowers that you mentioned. You will be glad you did! ;)
I am wondering how Holly is doing also. Hope no news is good news!
Did you ever hear back from lilturtle? I didn't. I am worried about her. Haven't heard from her in a month and a half. :(

I had my appointment with my podiatrist on Monday and he gave me a shot of steroid in my heel for plantar fasciitis. Thursday, I go back to get casted for professional orthotics, which is the "cure." I did the treadmill for 30 minutes last night without much heel pain, so I am excited about that. I like the treadmill much better than the bike. Eating has been pretty good, but there is room for improvement. Exercise has been fairly consistent, but room for improvement there, too. Focusing on progress and not perfection! Hope this post finds everyone feeling renewed and ready to tackle this weight loss thing! Hope to hear from some of the "regulars" soon! Until then, I am sending everyone some :dust: and sunshine! :sunny: WE CAN DO THIS!!! :D

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