Fi
 

Fi: So sorry to hear that you have the flu! :( Hope you feel better soon! Sending a big hug! :hug:


Wow, did I ever go off my eating plan today while celebrating St. Patrick's Day! :o Back on board tomorrow morning. Need to get consistent with exercise again, too. I've slipped recently. Still working out with trainer twice a week, but not doing as much cardio on my own the past couple of weeks. :( Someone please send me some :dust: quickly!!!!!

I'm pleased to report that the flu or whatever it was is gone as today, but just to keep me on my toes, my silly ol' brain delivered some serious depression pain for a few hours this morning. Oh well. Tonight I finally finished a pesky collage I've been working on for so long I was sick of it. I'm hoping tomorrow I'll be back up to full speed on my art and my letter-writing, because I've signed up for so much stuff I can't afford to fall behind.

I'm still having trouble getting enough food into myself—just don't have any appetite. It's very weird, definitely not my usual style. I hope these low-calorie days mean I'm losing weight. Saturday is my monthly weigh-in, and already I'm wondering what the scale will have to say.

Now I need to sign off and try to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. I hope tomorrow will be a nice day, so I can take a stab at taking a walk. Or at least get back with the program with my leg exercises...I've really slacked off lately. =sigh=

Hello! I am sorry it's been so long since I've said hey here :(

:welcome: to the new chicks!! Yes this is a great supportive place

I am just disgusted with myself that I am so weak-willed to not be able to stick to normal calories or eating. Really bad, sigh.

Fi I was boiling with anger also about the c**kies story! sorry about the flu and hope it is gone. I have to say I have never had a problem getting enough calories INTO me but as that can be a problem also I hope your stomach probs stop. Can you describe what your leg exercises were/are?

Kathleen, here is some :dust::dust:

Ohio, yay to you for managing to go back to school and getting some good grades! :carrot:

Earthling, I LOVE your faith that 'with downs comes ups', that give me hope.

Chelsea, I am sorry that you are struggling...we think we'll be OK when things are going smoothly and the sun is out, and when it doesn't happen, it is rotten isn't it.

irisV62 WOW congrats on losing over 60 lbs!! :carrot: I hope you can adjust to deservedly feeling a heck of alot smaller :)

Hi idgie_marie :) I wish I had specific tips/advice for your question on how to stay on track on the weekends, I do awful all the time lately :( so I'm no help. My only saving from fast food is that there is one fast food place 5 miles from our home, lol and I am too lazy to go out for that.

Hi Desper8, I guess we have all had awful binges when we are not hungry yet we stuff anyway. There are specifics in our psyche that are making us do that and somehow we have to try to find why we need to 'fill' an empty that is not even there sometimes .

justagirl, that is so very tragic that your dad had that incident when you were so young and it has affected you ever since.

I have been sleeping SO much lately, I just don't care. I don't see any reason to get out of bed, on my days off. I mean, I do the basics..dishes, vacuum, take care of the dog, maybe work out..then back to bed :( I love summer so much, with my great summer job, my motorcycle, just enjoying the beautiful Vermont countryside, yet right now that seems so far away as to be impossible.

Also HATING my current winter job boss, that he takes tip money from the jar, the cheap b@stard!! and makes horrible and mean comments about "fat" customers. His wife does, also. I am so self conscious to try to eat in front of them, I have a 7 hour shift and come on, doesn't a person get hungry in 7 hours?? and I bring my yogurt from home and stand n teh corner to try to eat/slurp it down in less than 2 minutes but then a customer comes in and I have to put it down to wait on them, while the boss just watches me. I HAVE brought it up, that I want 5 minutes away from people to eat, and he is just an a-hole, 'oh, Holly needs time to EAT, well I guess we can change things around so Holly can EAT something' .

OK work rant over :rolleyes:

Oh I guess I do have something positive to say :p I had to go to our family doc for him to OK my Wellbutrin refill, I had not been to the doctor in over 2 years (usually just for antibiotics for sinus infections every 2 or 3 years) and he said he wanted to make sure I had a pulse, LOL.

So he did a mini check up, listened with stethescope, took blood pressure, and I had to step on the scale (160) but he said "that's a good heart" when he listened to my chest; and said my blood pressure was 'good' (I think 130/80)

I guess that is enough to keep me working out, even though I am not doing enough for weight loss, I am keeping my heart strong and managing good b/p.

VermontMom: that is wonderful to hear about your heart & blood pressure! I think you're right: sometimes we get so caught up in the number on the scale, but really, the reason we should be doing all of this hard work is to keep our heart healthy. I am so sorry to hear about your jerk boss. Just reading about him made my blood boil. I have also been struggling with fatigue lately, and I have all of my fingers & toes crossed that spring has finally peaked through.

Fiona: do happy to hear you are feeling better! Were you able to get outside for a walk? I hope so!

IBelieve: Sending you some will power dust! :)

The winter finally seems to have broke here in Chicago. Who knows if it will last, but it has been a big lift to my spirit. I have been struggling with chronic fatigue - just no energy - and working from home doesn't help that. It got up to 50 degrees yesterday, so my dog and I went on a nice 30 minute jog/walk. It was so lovely. I have begun the couch-to-5k program to have some type of structure.

Hope you all are doing well! Sending lots of positive thoughts! :)

feeling weak-minded
 

Hello Support Buddies! I am pretty much back on board today with eating and exercise, but I still feel incredibly weak-minded. :( I feel like I am being tempted at every turn. :devil: My head says don't give in, but my stomach wants to give in to poor food choices. We have plans to go somewhere healthy for dinner, so I should be okay tonight. Then, I HAVE to fast after 8:45pm tonight because I am getting blood work drawn in the morning for my medication management. I dread stepping on that d@mn doctor's scale tomorrow!!! :( Every time I see my weight where it is now, I get depressed and feel so defeated. :cry: It takes all of the internal might and positive self-talk I can muster up to fight the negative feelings. That is where my mindset is right now. Since I have been off the wagon the past several days, I feel so BIG all over. I'm sure you all know the feeling. I am reading a book about willpower right now in hopes of helping me snap out of this funk. I will feel better sooner or later, but please keep the :dust: coming!!! I need all the help I can get!!!

Fi: Happy to hear that you are already feeling better. I hope you can get your caloric intake back up to a healthy level soon, if you haven't already. I have NEVER had that problem and I can't even imagine it! I hope you took that walk and got back on board with leg exercises!

Holly: It's so great to hear from you!!! Thank you for all of the :dust:! It is slowly helping. I just hate your winter boss!!! :p Can't wait for your summer job to start. When is that again?!? Counting down the days for you! GREAT that your heart and blood pressure checked out good at your doctor's office! And I'd take 160 lbs any day!!! ;) I am sorry that you are disgusted with yourself, though. I can soooooooo relate!

idgie_marie: Thank you, too, for the :dust:! I really need it!!! 50 degrees and a nice walk with your dog sounds wonderful!!! Our Ohio weather has been a rollercoaster ride. No surprise, I guess. Best of luck to you on the couch-to-5k program!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! :D

Waving hello to everyone else! :wave: Please post when you can and let us know how things are going. I am still worried about Trish! She hasn't posted in March at all. :( I hope she is okay.

Hello ladies.


I just wanted to check in and let you know I am still here. Things are going pretty well. Life is going good, school is going alright, hectic but alright. I am taking it one day at a time.


My eating hasn't been going very good though. I have been eating too much. :(

I am anxious for warm weather to get here. I am going to buy myself a bicycle and get outside. I hope I can still ride one. LMAO


As for school, I took an exam last week and only scored a 22/30, not good. I just have to do better on my next one.

I hope you all are doing well.

ohiofreespirit— I am SO glad to hear that you're feeling better! Don't fret too much over your eating or your weight or your exam: all those things will begin to get better now that your head is back in the game. Remember to give yourself positive feedback for what you're doin' right, not any negative feedback at all.

Kathleen— Ditto for you on the positive feedback! Here's what I did last year to get myself into that mindset: I hung a wall calendar in my kitchen (put it where you'll see it like 50 times a day) and for every day I stayed on plan with healthy eating, I highlighted that whole day in a bright happy color. I paid no attention to the days with no highlighter: I just focused, month to month, on having more and more days colored in. If I had an off-plan day, I was much more likely to get right back in the saddle again, because I wanted to see that highlighted day. And it was good for Bob, too, because if he looked at the calendar and saw a long string of highlighted days, he would say something like, "Hey, you're doin' great on your eating plan!" Sure enough, month by month, I got to the point where all the days were highlighted. Try it!

idgie_marie— That's great you're havin' some better weather and even more great that you're taking advantage of it to get out and move! That couch to 5K thing sounds wonderful: I know a couple of other gals that're doing it. You go girl!

Holly— Good for you that you got some good feedback from your doctor: it's always a real boost to me when that happens. Here's how I do 600 leg lifts a night (and I did them tonight—yay!): First of all, I alternate legs between days, so each leg gets a whole day of rest before it has to work again. I do 5 sets of 120 lifts, 60 on my back and 60 on my side so I'm working different muscles. In between sets, while I'm catching my breath, I work the lower leg on that side by doing flexion-extension at the ankle. (I don't count how many on the lower legs.) I do it on my couch while listening to rock-n-roll, so it feels like dancing and it's fun. That's it! (But unless you're already in good shape, don't start with sets of 120: I had to work my way up to that.)

Y'all wanna see something funny I made? I made this collage and then a fellow collage artist animated it for me: click on it for a larger version..

Hello everyone!!!! I just joined today and started jumping for joy when I saw there is a forum for those who struggle with depression and are overweight!!!! FINALLY!!!! MY KIND OF PEOPLE LOL. I have read a little about some of you and hope to get to know you much better. I'll start off with a little about myself. I am 24 years old and a drug and alcohol counseling major. I will be graduating in the next year, not a moment too soon! Addiction really speaks to me because I struggle with my own. I battled with bulimia for 7 years. during which time I lost almost 100 pounds. I decided to seek help when I was 19 years old. I gained a little bit of weight but maintained at a healthy 150lbs for almost 4 years. Then, about a year ago I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, PTSD and OCD. I have finally found meds that work really well for me but I have gained over 100lbs in this last year. I'm not sure if its the meds or the depression. I guess it doesn't really matter. The point is that I have a lot of weight to lose and know I need help to do so. January 1st I started a diet consisting of 1200 calories and exercising 6 times per week. It had been almost three months and I have only lost 8 pounds total. I JUST WANT TO GIVE UP!!!! I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I have my first appointment with a nutritionist in a couple days. I am determined to do this and I thought a forum like this would be a great support system to help me get by between my nutritionist appointments. I am open to ANY feedback. I look forward to getting to know you all!!

:welcome: to 1llife2lily! :) first, wow I admire your dedication to education and will to help others with your particular major! second, congrats on being on plan since January with a sensible plan; I think I also would want to give up but DON'T!!! some of us are slow losers! I could look up in my journals that I think I also was perfect-on-plan for 2 months or so and had barely lost 8 pounds, and that was a big switch from eating everything, to about 1500 calories. Anyway, hang in there!! this is a lovely bunch of chicks :)

Kathleen, sorry you're struggling! I don't know when it's worse, to have one's head OR stomach fighting our good decisions. I hope maybe you'll have a pleasant surprise when you step on the scale at the doctor's. What is the current book you are reading, about will-power?

I kinda berated myself for saying I felt disgusted with myself at 160, when that might be a goal weight for others..I just know how I feel so much smaller and better at even 150 and positively tiny at below 145. And get this - there is a lady at work, I really like her, she's positive and friendly and a hard worker; she is TINY, maybe 5'1" but tiny birdy legs, hips and arms :D Probably a size 2?? She knows she weighs 126 and she feels huge...yes!! :( She feels best at 120 so she feels that she is way overweight.

Here's alot of this stuff for us!! :dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:

Hi Ohio :wave: and Fi, that animated postcard collage was great! :D Kathleen, my last day at current crappy winter job is next month!! Either Sun. the 13th or Mon. the 14th. The owner actually closes the store for over 2 weeks, so they can go on vacation. Since they close the business, we workers can actually get a week or 2 of unemployment benefits. Then I am able to start at my summer job the first week of May. We need time to open up the kitchen, get the water running, take items out of storage, get food and supplies in; then the actual Opening Day (yes we refer to it in Capital letters, lol because it is a big deal) is around May 14th.

Sorry my posts are all separate and not together, and stuff not in bold or italics..I am struggling still with this @$%&%*^ Windows computer; I used to EFFORTLESSLY be able to cut, paste, whatever in a post to make it better but not anymore..spent 15 minutes trying to freakin 'select' and copy/paste but cannot figure it out. I miss my Mac so very much :( so my posts are boring.

Jeez, are any of y'all Bipolar? I've been having trouble lately with surges of dysphoric (very unpleasant) mania. It kind of goes with the no-appetite, working-all-the-time, hardly-getting-any-sleep brain set I've been in lately. When I was young, before I became Bipolar, I used to have over-the-top happiness: long stretches, or at least long evenings, of euphoric hypomania. But now that I'm Bipolar, the only kind of mania I have is the yucky kind, where I feel like I'm buzzing on the inside, or as if I'm about to explode. The closest thing I can compare it to is a big-time caffeine overdose, if you've ever experienced that. (I only drink two cups of coffee in the morning—no other caffeine at all.) I take Clonapin for it, but it takes a high dose to chill me out when I'm in that state. =sigh= I hope I level out into a tolerable medium phase soon, because all this agitation and distraction and being so wired I can't eat or sleep is for the birds!

Hello All, I'm new here too. I never have had a problem with my weight until 15 yrs ago when I lost my teenaged son to a drowning accident. The subsequent depression helped me pack on 80lbs until I reached 233 lbs. Now I want to finally put that horrible event behind me, by losing the weight I gained following my son's death. I am taking Phentermine and have been on it for three days and am down 5lbs, which I'm sure is water weight but it still feels like progress. I am a healthy eater but do NO exercise to speak of. I am going to change that soon! We have an exercise bike in the garage that my husband is going to bring in the house.

That's my weight gain story, i look forward to getting to know you better!

Semperfiddle- welcome!!!! So sorry to hear about your son. Its amazing to hear that you are ready to start the next phase of you're life and become healthy again. I wish you the best of luck with everything and hope to be here with you through you're journey.

Fiona- I have not been diagnosed with bipolar but I have worked with lots of people who were and I too have many of the same symptoms. Sorry you're struggling right now. What always seems to help me when I'm having an episode is to soak in some sunlight. If that's not possible I go to the tanning bed. I know it may sound crazy but the vitamin d really does help. Keep us posted.

Vermontmom- you talk about you're friend from work and it reminds me of myself. I remember being 125 and thinking I was so fat and now its a dream to be you're weight again lol. I think self esteem really plays into my journey a lot though. I'm afraid that if I were back down to 160 , I would still be unsatisfied.

Sooooo I'm breaking down today and having a lady give me a quote for cleaning my house. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. But I'm a parent, go to school full time and work a full time job. My husband works 80 hours per week. I just feel so overwhelmed all the time. I also have OCD so a messy house really effects my mood and makes me feel out of control. Hopefully this helps... until next time. Everyone take care and live large ��

Hello and welcome new friends!

Fi, I am also bi-polar. I know that feeling!!! All that is helpful to me in that state is meditation and breathing exercises to bring my mind back from the discomfort and ick(and total irritability if I'm honest). If you are a writer I hear that can be helpful also. I love your collage, and it is so funny! I got a really good laugh out of it :)

Kathleen, Thinking of you! What book are you reading? I could use some willpower inspiration myself. How are you doing with everything since your last post?

Holly! I am so glad that you are almost done with your winter job and onto sunnier things! I am also glad that you brought up the issue of perspective in how weight affects all women, it's something that I have been thinking about a lot lately and struggling with. Overcoming a negative self image is not easy, even if you have really gone far or if you should feel great about how you look or how much you weigh. I guess I would call it mind over mass :) I'm not sure where that was going but I appreciate that you said something about it.

Ohio, it is good to hear from you. How exciting that you are in school! I am glad to hear that you are doing better and taking things as they come. A bicycle in the summer is so nice, I hope that will be something you really enjoy :) It's probably what I miss most since moving out of town.

I am conflicted and depressed right now, and feel trapped in my job. It is not conducive to healthy eating. Or really anything but sleeping a lot. Still hanging in there though, trying not to eat sweets, and to not drive my partner totally crazy.

Hugs and strength to everyone!
Chelsea

Originally Posted by Semperfiddle:
Hello All, I'm new here too. I never have had a problem with my weight until 15 yrs ago when I lost my teenaged son to a drowning accident. The subsequent depression helped me pack on 80lbs until I reached 233 lbs. Now I want to finally put that horrible event behind me, by losing the weight I gained following my son's death. I am taking Phentermine and have been on it for three days and am down 5lbs, which I'm sure is water weight but it still feels like progress. I am a healthy eater but do NO exercise to speak of. I am going to change that soon! We have an exercise bike in the garage that my husband is going to bring in the house.

That's my weight gain story, i look forward to getting to know you better!

:welcome: to you Semperfiddle! first..I know you don't know me, but as a parent...i am so sorry :( :( :( of your tragedy. I won't speak of it much more if you care not to, but felt I had to say at least that.

second..I applaud you for losing weight no matter if it's water or not :D I bet you will burn up that exercise bike. Kudos for being a healthy eater!

third ...I don't really have a third :) just nice to have you here!

Fi - I must say I've not experienced symptoms like that...I'm too sluggish I guess, lol. Well I do remember posting here last summer, saying how glad I was that I was consistently feeling 'good' but its never manic or high.

Kathleen - here's some more of that sparkly stuff 'cause it's so pretty :dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:

OK I drove home in a rage, due to something my boss did today. THere is a customer who is more friendly than he should be, he would hug me tight if I let him (ew!! why would I ? he is a creepy Montreal lawyer who is 20 years older than me, and it's not even MY store or MY customer!!) Anyway..my idiot boss started telling this guy that I was a motorcyclist, that i had a big motorcycle, what a bad *** I was, etc.., and he should have KNOWN that would make this guy think he could then make comments about 'hot motorcycle chicks' and stuff like that...

so YES the customer got all stupid and loud and vocal about stuff like that, then said "I want a ride with you, I'd hold on real tight like this!" and comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me, clutching me tight against my midriff!!! I immediately pulled his arms off me and stepped back and said "NO THAT Is NOT COOL" and they all laugh it off...he walked away and i said in a low voice to my boss 'it is NOT okay for yur customers to put their f******g hands on me'! and he just laughs it off too!!!

i BOILED in anger for an hour...then confronted idiot boss and said, 'do not EVER give personal information like that to anyone again! You should have known that would make him all crazy and a jerk and I am pissed at being groped by your f****ng customer!'

he says, "oh, I'm sorry, I hear ya" and that was so lame, I said 'I don't think you do!!' and got my coat and walked up to a co worker and said "I'm gonna sit in my car for a while" and I did that. I have NEVER walked out on teh job before in anger, in 40 years of working.

So I cooled off, came back inside, started working again. Idiot boss came up to me and said "I'm gonna yell at that guy tomorrow, what's wrong with him" and oh my god! I almost exploded again, I almost yelled 'it was YOUR fault for starting it!" and he just does not get it.

THis job end in mid-April, then I go to my wonderful summer job, but for years, I would work for said idiot on Wedesday afternoons, just to keep in touch and for a bit of gas money, but i'm telling him tomorrow that I am not going to do that this summer...and I might just bite it and have to find a different winter job this November.

Oh and despite the sign outside the building that says Store Hours - 6:30 am to 6:00 pm, tons of people still flocking into the store when I'm trying to close..and wanting sliced meat from the deli...i told one lady "it is really hard for me to get you something from the (closed!) deli when I have to take care of other people at the register" and she says, "oh thank you so much!" WTF?? So I get her ****, I left the fatty parts of the meat I had to trim all over the counter, and finally got rid of all teh customers, locked the door 15 minutes after 6, did the final closing chores, and left a hastily scrawled note in the deli - "DO NOT EXPECT ME HERE UNTIL AT LEAST 11:15 TOMORROW, YOUR F*****G CUSTOMERS CANNOT READ 'STORE HOURS' AND I HAD TO SLICE/TRIM THEIR S***

( I do not get paid a cent more for staying late, that's why i resent it so much)

Okay i am done screaming for the night :D

Just droppin' in quickly to say I had a better day today—no depression, no mania. But I have a ton of work to do because I want to make two collages this weekend. Thanks for the supportive comments from everyone, and Holly, I am SO there with you in your rage at your boss! I can't stand being touched like that when I don't want it, and I admire you for being so pro-active about it. G'night, y'all...

Hi ladies,

i hope this post finds you well.

Holly, it sounds like you have had a rough time lately. I'm so sorry. This is a great place to vent. I'm so glad we could be here for you. *hug*

Chelsea, I am so sorry you feel trapped in your job. I love mine so it hurts me so when people are unhappy in theirs. You sound so unhappy. *hug*

1life, I am glad you are having someone to clean your house. I hope it helps improve your mood. *hug*

Semperfiddle, Welcome to the thread. We are thrilled to have you here. Thank you for sharing your story with us. *hug*

Fi, I, too, am bi-polar. I mostly have trouble with my lows though. I am so sorry you are having trouble with it lately. *hug* I hope you come out of it soon.


I have to get ready for work. I will check back in soon. Much love to you all.

Hello!
 

Hello all! Sorry I didn't have time to write the past couple days. I am slowly getting back on board, but something interesting came up this morning. I just had annual routine bloodwork done for the medication I am on, and my psychiatrist's office called and said that my thyroid levels were low. I haven't heard from my primary doc (who took the blood work) yet, so I'm not sure how low my levels were, but I am hoping that maybe that is why I've only gained and had such an incredibly hard time losing weight. Not that I want to take yet another med, but maybe my thyroid has been the culprit. I will keep you posted.

ohiofreespirit: Happy to hear that you are taking one day at a time and hanging in there. Hope you follow through on buying a bicycle and getting outside. :bike2: That would definitely help your mood! Our Ohio weather is still crazy, but hopefully we will have more warm days than cold soon. I can certainly relate to eating too much. I have had a HUGE appetite lately. Trying to eat only healthy things or resist eating extra stuff in that case is a real challenge.

Fi: I like your idea of a wall calendar with highlights, but I am afraid that I would be too hard on myself and not award myself enough highlighted days. I am so hard on myself that when I eat any extras, even if healthy or somewhat healthy, I consider it a downer day. :( I know, I know..... not good! I will work on positive feedback only. That, too, is difficult for me. But I can do it!!! Your collage with the fish is hilarious! Is that the real YOU in the pictures? I am also bipolar, but have only had one serious manic episode. Other than that, my mania typically manifests itself through irritability. Sorry you had that manic experience. Glad to hear that you are feeling better already, though! Hang in there and keep on posting! I love hearing from you. :)

1life2liv: :welcome2: to our group! So happy you found us! It is good that you finally found the meds that work for you, but ~ yes ~ I know all too well that it often comes at a weight gain cost. Same here! :( My depression is well under control, but it is difficult now to not be depressed about my weight. I am at my all-time high and my weight just seems to creep up and never go down, despite my efforts for awhile now. I recently lost 6 pounds on a new diet, which was the first weight I have been able to lose in YEARS, but I think I gained most or all of it back already. :cry: I will NOT give up on myself, though. I just HAVE to keep trying! Your drug and alcohol addiction major sounds so interesting and admirable, especially since you have personal experience with it. We have a lot of addiction in our extended family, so I am really interested in the subject, too. We need more good people in that field..... like YOU! :) How did your appointment with the nutritionist go? I might end up working with one, too, because I am in the same boat ~ really weight loss resistant. Hey, take that 8 pound loss and BE PROUD of it!!! You worked hard for that and your efforts will continue to pay off if you keep up the good work. You are probably gaining muscle, too, which weighs more than fat, as you probably know. Just don't give up on yourself. You deserve to be happy and healthy, too!!! :D Good for you for getting help with cleaning your house. It is OKAY to ask for help, especially when working as hard as you are. I say GO FOR IT!!! ;)

Holly: Please don't berate yourself for feeling fat at 160! That was not my intent at all. All of our various weights are personal and relative to our own experience. I would just LOVE to be back DOWN to 160 right now is all I was sayin'! I dream of the day............ and I will get there....... eventually!!! :D The current book I am reading is called The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It. I haven't even read enough yet to recommend it or not. I go in spurts (of reading and non-reading) with my books. I have a hard time retaining what I read. I just hope to get ONE good piece of advice out of each self-help book that I read. I will let you know if it's worth the read. Thank you so much for sending me all of the :dust:!!! I sooooooo need it! Please keep it comin'!!! ;) OMGosh, your boss is such a royal jerk!!! I can't believe he told personal information about you to a customer.......... and for that customer to then lay his filthy hands on you is just out of line!!!!!!!! I am so happy to hear that you let your boss have it, even if he still doesn't get it. I don't blame you for feeling outraged ~ at both your boss and the customer!!! You do NOT deserve that kind of treatment!!! :mad: BTW, thank you so much for welcoming the new chicks to our group in my absence. I was so happy to see that you did that! :hug:

Semperfiddle: :welcome3: to our group! I am so very sorry to hear about the drowning death of your teenage son. :cry: I lost a newborn twin son to extreme prematurity 18 years ago, so I can somewhat relate to the intense heartbreak of the death of a child. I cannot imagine having him for years and then losing him, though! Understandably, you were devastated. I applaud you for wanting to finally move on and put the weight gain from that time behind you. That is how I feel with my weight gain after the death of my son and the birth (3 years later) of my handicapped daughter. I feel like I am finally getting my life back in order after a series of traumatic events back then, but the weight remains. I really want to lose the weight and move on. It is difficult for me, but I know it HAS to be possible, so I won't give up on myself, despite being very weight loss resistant due to several factors, including the meds I'm on and now, possibly a low thyroid problem (just discovered). CONGRATULATIONS on your 5 pound weight loss!!! Keep it rollin'!!! Good luck on beginning to exercise. :ebike: That will definitely help speed up your weight loss. YOU CAN DO IT!!! :D Sending you a big hug for all you've been through! :hug: So happy that you posted!

Chelsea: Thanks for asking about me. I appreciate your concern. I am doing better, but really frustrated with my weight. I feel so incredibly fat most of the time and I am sick of feeling that way. :( I will assume you read the above info about my potential thyroid problem and the name of the willpower book I am reading. Don't want to repeat too much and bore all of you to death. :lol: It is so great to hear from you! So sorry that you feel conflicted and depressed and trapped in your job. :( Vent all you want here. We care about you and want you to be happy!!! :hug: Please hang in there and do your best to take care of yourself in the meantime!

Well, I'm so discouraged I can hardly see straight. I only weigh myself once a month, and today was my weigh-in. The scale put me up 2 pounds since last month—which is basically flatline. I know there are about 17 reasons why I might have hit a plateau, which include chronic undereating, lousy sleep, inconsistency about doing my leg exercises, no walking (because of snow!), lots of stress, not drinking enough water, blah blah blah. Obviously my metabolism slowed way down, and being nearly 60 doesn't help: it's SO much harder to lose weight now than during my 30s, it isn't even funny.

But still... I was consistently eating a very low-carb diet all month long. And low-carb works for me. It's how I've lost the 67 pounds so far. I only had one sugary treat during the whole month, which was a large cookie about a week ago. Obviously having one treat a month doesn't constitute cheating. Will power about eating right is not my problem.

I don't need advice about what to do differently. I know all the ways in which I need to tune up my act, and I know how to jumpstart my metabolism. I just need sympathy for being really discouraged, angry even. I'm glad I only weigh myself once a month, because f**ked-up mood from today's weigh-in cost me a whole day I really needed to devote to collage. I'm behind schedule on three different projects—yuck. I just hope I can get to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight, and wake up tomorrow ready for a re-set. And thank God it's spring!

Thanks to all of y'all who had nice things to say about my "fish faces" collage. No, Kathleen, the woman making the faces is not me.

Fi
 

Fi: No advice here; just sympathy because I can so relate to trying very hard and not making progress. The scale only seems to creep UP for me. It is SOOOOOOOOO discouraging!!!!! :( Sorry that your hard work eating low-carb didn't pay off on the scale. I hope you are indeed resetting yourself today and putting that weigh-in behind you. Today is a new day and I KNOW you can do this!!! Hang in there, my friend! :hug:

Hi friends,


I am online working on homework. I am trying to keep up with it. They are really pouring it on right now. I'm not doing great on the tests they are giving. :(


Fi, I am sorry you gained a couple of pounds. I have no idea what i weigh right now but I know I haven't been eating very well lately.

I am still waiting for the warm spring weather here in Ohio.


I hope you all are doing well.

Hello!

Kathleen - Oh gosh..I hope you don't have to take another medication also, BUT if your thyroid is the culprit, then how great would it be to get that under control and maybe it will stop messing with your hard work! And you need never apologize for not writing every few days, as your posts are so personal and caring :)

Fi - all sympathy for that wretched scale not reflecting a month of very low carb! :mad: I would be hoppin' mad...ugh. We are all rooting for you and maybe that dopey gain will whoosh away, and take a couple more pounds with it! And it is really kewl that one of your fellow artists was so taken with your Fish Faces that he took the time to animate it.

Ohio, I hope you can keep up with the homework, I admire you so much for being in school :cool:

Chelsea - so sorry you're feeling trapped and depressed. And oh boy how that can mess with our eating. Yes we can only hope our partners don't want to strangle us for our venting, lol. "Mind over mass"...that's good! we just have to try to overcome our negative self-images, somehow.

THANKyou for everyone's indignation at my recent work troubles...the 'hand-sy' customer came in yesterday, entered the deli work area as usual, and started to talk about what a great day of skiing it was..I approached him right away and quietly yet intently said..'what you did the other day was So out of line..you NEVER put your hands on anyone again like that!' and he says...all shocked..'did I hurt you?' me - "no..it is assault..if we were in a crowd I would have punched you'... He tries to look sincere and starts to apologize, I just stare at him, and do not accept the apology. I then interrupt and said "I'm working" and went back to my sandwich station.

So my awful boss says nothing about this, we just keep assembling sandwiches (it was super busy) and my hands were shaking..i was so angry that boss says nothing about this, so i let the eff bomb drop on him, and he starts throwing things around, it was not a happy time, lol.

He did follow the hand-sy customer outside and I do not know what was said. If my boss had ANY sense he would have told me that he addressed the situation , but if i had a million dollars, I would bet that my boss dissed me for being overreactive.

Today I have to ask boss what was said. Because I have a preliminary investigative questionnaire for the State's Attny' office all filled out and just have to hit 'send' .

Thanks so much for the sympathy for my weight plateau! I didn't feel ready for a re-set yesterday because I had a crappy day due to one of those deadly "mixed" episodes that many bipolars know about—when you have depression pain at the same time as feeling really hyper & wired-up. It lasted for several hours, I took a couple of different meds to try to stop it, but finally what helped was having a half-cup of muesli with cream. Yes, friends, it's my "magic muesli" again: this is the second time it's happened that I got to feeling really out of sorts, bipolar-wise, while following a very low-carb diet. After eating that muesli, I felt so much more like myself, it was amazing.

Why muesli? Well, it just happens that Familia brand muesli is something both Bob and I like, so it's in the house all the time, and it's the healthiest way on hand for me to get a quick slug of carbos. So today I went out and bought a box of my own, because I prefer the sugar-free kind, whereas Bob's has sugar in it. I'm going back to having a half-cup serving a day, with a bit of cream (because cream has almost no carbs, and I love it). That should also have the effect of adding some much-needed calories back into my diet. I think I can get away with skipping the muesli, though, on the days when I do intermittent fasting.

As for exercise, it's a gorgeous day today in the DC area—a bit nippy, but the redbuds and forsythia are in bloom all over my neighborhood—so I hope I can get myself out the door for a walk. No matter what, I will do my leg exercises tonight to the rock-n-roll radio show (no commercials!) I'm into. And I've been drinking more water, as promised.

Sorry I don't have time for personal comments today: I lost most of another day yesterday to screwed-up mood, so I absolutely have to take advantage of the good mood I'm in now to work on art projects that are behind schedule.

Thank you all for the nice warm welcome! I am down another 2 lbs, did a lot of walking this weekend.

I signed up for an online writer's workshop today, it starts May 2. I'm really looking forward to it. I don't think I mentioned I'm a freelance writer.

Looking forward to checking in with you all on a regular basis. Oh, and how do I add a weight tracker to my posts. I have a ticker, just don't know how to add it to my signature. Thanks!

Semperfiddle— Congrats on your 2 pounds down, and way to go on the walking! You have to make a certain number of postings over a certain number of days before you can put your ticker in your signature. I think the number is 25, but I'm not sure: it could be 20. At any rate, just keep posting every day, in any thread, and you'll get there. Once you do, you click on "User CP" in the upper lefthand corner, and then on "Edit Signature" and you'll be able to add your ticker. They have that rule because the site was having trouble with spammers. Oh, and by the way, I'm a writer, too: I haven't published anything for several years because I got into making collage, but I used to write essays, book reviews, and a column, and I have a half-finished rough draft of an autobiographical novel—actually a memoir with the names and other details changed a bit. I'm strictly a nonfiction writer—no fiction. Have fun with your workshop!

Cool Fiona, I'm strictly a non-fiction writer myself, unless you count the one book of fiction I wrote but never published. I'd like to do a memoir but I have a hard time delving into the past; it's why I have depression now! (my childhood experiences, that is)

I had a good day today...stuck to my calorie goal even though I splurged on half a Big Mac at dinner.

Take care all, I'll check in tomorrow!

Semplefiddle, what an accomplishment, writing a book! but I'm sorry that the memoir would be hard for you due to childhood experiences.

Fi, Oh my gosh, forsythia blooming?? how nice that must be! I don't miss much of New Jersey, where I grew up, except for the memory of actual hedges of forsythia! we won't get blooming stuff here til May.

Hello!
 

Hello Support Buddies! Well, after 2 days of waiting to hear back from the doctor, I finally found out today that my doctor said my bloodwork "looks perfect." I asked about my thyroid levels, since my psychiatrist had called to say they came back low. The nurse said, "Well, your T3 and T4 levels WERE low, but your TSH level was normal," so basically he doesn't want to do anything but follow up with me in a few months. I'm kind of bummed because I thought maybe some of my extreme weight loss resistance might be due to a low thyroid, which could be treated. So I guess I am just stuck with this weight until I can somehow manage to lose it. :cry: I had a crappy day today for several reasons and chose to eat my comfort food ~ McDonald's fries............ along with a quarter pounder without cheese. :o I know that it is counterproductive to losing weight, but something just had to give today. I was under so much stress that I was thinking, "How the h*ll am I supposed to ALSO eat right and exercise in this situation?!? The h*ll with eating right. I WANT McDonald's fries!!!" And I gave in..... :( So today was NOT a good eating day. I also have not exercised to this point..... and it is getting late in the day. I will aim to make tomorrow a MUCH better day overall. I am overwhelmed with a lot of things right now, so I really need to make a list of all that is on my mind and sort things out. I also haven't journaled in ages. That would help, I am sure.

ohiofreespirit: Hope you are keeping up with your homework. Uggggh, the thought of it freaks me out! :fr: I would NOT be a good student at this point in my life! I, too, admire you for what you are doing. Keep on trying on those tests. YOU CAN DO IT!!! :) I am also waiting on the warm spring weather here in Ohio!!! It snowed here today! :rolleyes:

Holly: Good for you for setting that hand-sy customer straight!!! Did you ever find out what your JOAB (Jerk-of-a-Boss :lol:) said to him???

Fi: Sorry you had a crappy day the other day. Muesli seems to be the magic potion for you! Glad that you are going to add it back into your diet on a regular basis. Hope you have had the chance to take a walk outdoors, do your leg exercises, and work on some of your art projects!

Semperfiddle: Congratulations on losing 2 pounds!!! Good for you for doing a lot of walking over the weekend. That is cool that you and Fiona have non-fiction writing in common! Hope you enjoy your writer's workshop. Glad that you have continued to post! :)

Thanks for the congratulations, IBelieveInMe! Every pound that comes of is a major victory for each of us. And don't beat yourself up about the McDonald's ...just get back on the wagon and go, go, go.

It snowed here yesterday too, quite a bit, but the sun is out and shining so I feel encouraged. Overcast days can be hard on me... Tomorrow I have PTSD support group and an appt with my therapist, and then meet in the evening with three other writer's for our monthly writer's group meeting. Full day and I'm looking forward to it.

Forsythia and redbuds in bloom sounds divine!

Hi girls,


I am up to my eyeballs in homework but I am doing ok. I have a low A in my class. I will be happy if I wind up with a B. I made out my schedule for the next year, it is exciting to see it written down. Next session, I am taking a math class in person at DeVry. Has anyone ever heard of DeVry University?


The weather here in Ohio is chilly today. I am anxious for spring to get here. Perhaps April will bring warm weather?????


Semperfiddle, congrats on the weight loss.

IBelieve, I know what it's like to be stuck with your weight. I kind of am too and it's rough to be stuck with your weight.



I will check back in in a couple of days to read up on what is going on with all you wonderful ladies. :)

A low A? that is freakin great! :cheer2: :D

I've definitely heard of DeVry, well I've seen their ads on TV.

It .. is .. FREEZING here today, it was a High of 15, and the wind blowing, ugh!!

HI LADIES!!!

OMG!!!! so I have not checked in in a few days and wow, lots to read. I don't even know where to start.

first off I had my appointment with the nutritionist and she put me basically on the mediterranian (sp) diet. Has anyone heard of it or have and suggestions... im all ears. or eyes (; also she prescribed me a medication to curb my appetite and help with obsessive food thoughts. Few things about the pill. first it gives me a ton of energy (I love that!!) Second in makes my mouth very dry, and last it really, really curbs my appetite. this leads me to a question.... is it bad if you're not getting enough calories? I bring this up because I do the my fitness pal and ive been averaging only 700-900 calories per day and she set my target at 1400-1600. im just not hungry and I get full incredibly fast. I feel like ive has weight loss surgery. I'm not sure if I should take this as a good thing or a bad thing... I'll take all the advice I can get.

on an end note, now I know to check in more regularly so I can keep up with the latest drama and gossip (: but for now, its 115am and alarm goes off at 5am so im going to be selfish and make my post tonight all about me.

I will say good luck to everyone. thank you to all who have reached out!!!!! hang in there and xoxoxox

1life, I am on a prescription appetite suppressant too and the dry mouth is normal but a sign that you should be drinking more water. If you are drinking at least 8 glasses a day and still have dry mouth, you can chew peppermint gum. I think you should try to get your calorie intake up a bit, as yours a quite low. Maybe a protein drink like Atkins? It's low in sugar and carbs but high in the good things like protein and nutrients. Just a thought. I've lost 11 lbs so far and am just amazed and grateful that my doctor recommended the appetite suppressant. Portion control is KEY to my loss to date. Good luck!

Ohio free spirit, I've heard of DeVry too but I only live about 2 hours away from Ohio. Well done with the grade! Keep up the good work.

I know I haven't posted here in a while but I thought I'd just check in. So far, so good! I have been weaning off of Cymbalta by taking smaller and smaller doses each month. Turns out that I picked a really stressful time to do this, since life has become especially hectic, but nevertheless it seems to be going well. I even skipped a few days because my prescription ran out and I didn't notice a single withdrawal side effect. Which means my dose is already so low that I could quit now. Soooo different from quitting Effexor! Cymbalta has been a much more effective medication and has also been much easier to quit.

I think I am going to quit next month. I have a doctor appointment in a couple weeks. I think what I'll do is take my (low-dose) meds, keep my appointment, and make another for four weeks post-quitting to check in and see how I am doing. If I am really stressed and not coping well, I can always go back on a really low dose.

Hello!
 

Hello Everyone! A quick check-in before my hubby and I head out for an overnight away. We are going to a concert (Phil Vassar) in Indianapolis. :carrot: I spoke with my psychiatrist about my low thyroid levels. He shared my concern that my "Free T4" level was definitely low, and that is the ACTIVE component which regulates metabolism. He called my primary doc and I called him, too, to argue for treatment. So my doctor called in a small dose prescription for my thyroid. I am hopeful that, if my thyroid gets regulated, I might actually be able to shed some weight finally (assuming I keep eating right and exercising). I don't think the treatment can hurt. If anything, it should help. So that is a relief.

Good to hear from everyone!!! Keep on posting!!! I PM'd lilturtle and she never responded, so I will just keep her in my prayers. Hope we eventually hear back from her.

shr1nk1ngme: Welcome back!!! So happy to see a post from you!!! Hope you know you are ALWAYS welcome here, regardless of how much or how little you post.

ohiofreespirit: I am in Ohio, too, and know about DeVry. A good friend of ours graduated from there. A low A is AWESOME!!!!!!!!! :D :carrot:

1life2liv: Great that your appetite suppressant is working, but 700-900 calories per day doesn't sound like nearly enough calories to me. I've always heard that you should at least consume 1200 calories per day to keep your metabolism going. Maybe your dose is too high??? That being said, I WANT some of your appetite suppressant!!! :lol:

Hi ladies,


I am online doing homework. I am trying to make an outline for a project. The key word here is trying. I'm about to call it a night tonight and get some rest.


I just wanted to check in and let you all know I was thinking about you all.

So its only been a couple days and I was able to communicate much more effectively than reading a weeks worth of posts at once. I found myself feeling smaller today. I have actually been officially dieting since the new year and have lost 18 total as of my last weigh in. But today I felt like my stomach was smaller, and my rings were fitting especially loose on my fingers today. I know it could be in my head and I hope im not devastated when I get on the scale Wednesday.

Another thing..... reaching out, again. I struggle a lot with my self image. I always have. even when I had a "ROCKIN" body, I though I was fat. I find myself feeling encouragement and then following it with negative words. For example today, when I felt like my stomach was possibly smaller I caught myself next thinking "what ever. its all in youre head. when you've lost 100 pounds, then you can be proud." I have this about me and find it very hard to get passed. Also since I cant find appreciation and encouragement from my self, I am constantly seeking it from others. My life is consumed by what other people think of me. I just want to be me for me!!!!!!!!!!

Okie dokie folks lol. I hope I haven't shared too much. I have a lot bottled up and this is the first time I have found a place where there are people with the same struggles as me.

semperfiddle: thanks so much for your input!!! I'm glad to hear that you are having some luck with the appetite suppressant. it gives me hope!!!!!!!! Also its funny that you mention a protein drink. Actually today I was at work and notice my protein percent was low for the day so I stopped and got a muscle milk. Thanks again for the feedback!!

shr1: HI!!! Its goo to meet you! I just thought I would share that getting meds regulated is soooooo stressful to me!! I have been going to a med doctor 1-3 times per month, EVERY MONTH for over a year trying to regulate me meds. I finally just got the good news last week that I am regulated and they don't need to see me again for 6 months (as long as there are no changes, of course. ) I about fell out of my chair!! So my thoughts go out to you as you seem to be going through a little of the same thing.

IBelieveInMe2: I think youre right about me needing a little bit more calories. The only downfall I'm finding when I try to consume more is that I get too full and feel sick. I suffered from bulimia for over seven years and I still literally get sick if I over eat. BUT the good news is that my NEVER ENDING APPETITE is gone!!!!! YAY!!!

ohiofreespirit: BLAH!!!!!!!! Don't even mention homework lol. totally get the whole TRYING to do homework thing. it seems like I spend a ratio of 10 hours trying to 1 hour of succeeding to do homework. I am so burnt out with school right now. I figured it up and I have been in school for 19 years of my life. IM ONLY 24!!!!!!!! Don't get me wrong, I love my major and what im studying but my brain just does not like to focus or concentrate on school anymore. its like I open a book and my brain hides (: Any how my prayers go out to you in your journey through school!!!!

I think that's PLENTY from me tonight. As always good luck to everyone and stay awesome!!!!! xoxoxox