I'm so depressed lately. I don't feel motivated to do anything and most of the time I don't even see a point to anything anymore. I'm overwhelmed, I'm tired of being sad and I'm disappointed in myself. But do I do anything to fix it? No. I can't. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was so motivated a little over a month ago to lose weight (I gained about 50 lbs in my last relationship...) and move on with my life, and I lost almost 15 lbs, but now I'm just in a slump. I keep cheating and eating horribly, I quit working out (the couple days a week I would anyway). I honestly hate my life and everything about it. My ex boyfriend left me for another girl a few months ago, not to mention, all three guys that I have seriously dated have all found someone else, two of them are married and have kids now, and the other left me in March for someone else. Why am I not good enough? Why did nobody want to be with me? All I see around me are happy people in happy relationships with kids and good lives, and then there's me. I'm 28, I work in a going nowhere job, no kids that I desperately want, no husband, nothing to show for my 28 years on this planet and I'm so lonely and sad it's ridiculous. I have little to no friends, and right now I'm living with my mother because I could not afford the place I was living in with my ex on my own. I recently just finished school for medical assisting, but am not motivated at all to finish my registration and all the required stuff I need, nor am I motivated to look for a job. All I want to do is sleep all day and not think about how fat, ugly and lonely I am. I'm at a point where I don't know what to do anymore and the fake smile I wear everyday is getting harder and harder to wear. I have no form of medical insurance, so I can't go to a doctor, and when I tried to go to a clinic a few years back when I was feeling so down, I basically got told I didn't need any help and I was lying about how I felt, just to get some meds or something. I'm just so tired of being sad, I'm tired of being alone and I'm tired of being so disappointed in myself every single day...

The most effective depression treatment is self help. Positive thinking can lead to remarkable changes in your mental health. Never let your brain to think all these unnecessary stuffs, get yourself engaged in some creativity work. Depression will lessen automatically.

hi blueyes - just wanted to send you a hug. I've read all your other posts, and i'm wondering if you were just having a bad day. Believe me, i don't want to minimize what you're feeling, but just a few days ago, you seemed very optimistic and headed in a healthy direction. This post sounds like a meltdown - and i hope it's temporary.

But, bottom line, you sure have a lot on your plate. and since you just finished your med assisting course, i'm also figuring that you understand that what you're feeling might NOT be just the blues, but rather a depression that might require some medical attention. free clinics? walk in clinics like at a pharmacy? planned parenthood? [assuming they haven't been shut down in your area]? it's hard getting care when you have no money or insurance - and it takes time and energy, as well.

as for the men thing - i'm also single, and i have such BAD TASTE in men that I no longer even talk to any of them unless they come with REFERENCES from friends. And since my friends seem to have this idea that no one is good enough for me, it DOES get a bit lonely. However, I've also spent the time working on taking care of myself in the meantime. Even when we're in a relationship, NOBODY BUT US is responsible for taking care of ourselves. It took me a long time to understand that, but i'm sure glad i finally learned it.

seems to me, just based on this post, that one of the main paths out of this might be finding a job. It would give you some of the tools you describe that you need - money, insurance [i hope!], a reason to get out of bed and out of the house, and you'd be helping people. and away from the refrigerator.

bottom line, no matter how much you want to, you just CANNOT spend your life in bed - you'll get bedsores! <hope that made you smile even a little>

You are so young so this is so sad to read. Listen, those people you think are in happy relationships with kids and good lives are probably not as happy as you think. Some of them certainly won't be in five years. So stop thinking about other people and focus on yourself. You are young with a whole life ahead of you.

You have made great progress with your weightloss. So just keep going. There will be greener pastures and time is on your side. Relationships and kids can wait. Trust me on that one.

Have you thought about volunteering somewhere? Sometimes focusing on other people's problems (and helping them out of them) can make yours seems less, which in turn makes it a bit easier to help yourself. It's less structured than a regular everyday job, but it would still get you out of the house and bring new people into your circle.
And, I agree with IanG - many people are not as happy or satisfied with their life as they appear.
I hope you feel better soon

I think that the sleeping all day and unmotivated to do normal things, as well as the poor body image, and beating yourself up about what other people are doing and you are not all means that maybe you should really try to seek some professional help-- not to those clinics that just thought you were out for meds-- and who on earth would want SSRI's because they don't get you high?

Job search, plus school, plus poor self image, plus regretting what you "think" your life should have been, plus a relationship breakup and loss of your home is equal to a high stress lifestyle and sometimes so much stress can make a person "shut down" which you are doing when you want to go to bed all day.

I think you should attempt to get some meds again. I went on meds and they have made me much less susceptible to negative self reflection, anxiety, depression, and I am starting to enjoy each day a little more. They do not suddenly make the world over as you would like it to be, but they allow you to cope, emotionally, without overwhelming amounts of negative energy getting in the way of your progress.

I also must say that your expectations are learned, cultural issues. Wait till you get that job and start earning money, and feel better about yourself. Men are not really that attracted to women with "issues." Work on yourself, and try to become happier, and happiness will happen.

Well, I agree with focusing on yourself. Who knows what other people got going on in their lives, but I hear all the time how people never have the time to workout, never have time to themselves, never have time to cook and take care of themselves, etc... So,... haha... I think how lucky I am to have all that extra free time to workout as much as I like, cook when I want to and pamper myself. So just look at the positive side of things!

A person has to be happy with with themselves before they can be in a relationship, otherwise the relationship is doomed to fail. You have to be able to be happy by yourself. Then, when that happens, it's likely that a relationship will find you!

blueyes,
*big hug*
Sorry to hear what you're going through. I have struggled with depression constantly since puberty, so I understand where you're coming from. I'm feeling much better now. I've been reading some great books by Louise Hay, "You can heal your life," and "The power is within you." Basically you can overcome your depression by changing your mind, never criticizing yourself, and always unconditionally loving yourself because you are unique, special, and beautiful.

Also take care if yourself. I feel so much better about myself after cutting out processed food and moving my body each day.

Best wishes to you !

Hi blueyes, I hope you're feeling a little better A couple of things. First, I have struggled with severe depression and PTSD for most of my 34 years. I don't have medical insurance either, and it has been really rough getting the medical attention I needed. If it weren't for the fact that my university has a health clinic, I would be in very sore shape. Luckily, I did some research and found a counseling center that works with me on a sliding scale (I'm on a very, very tight budget) so I can see a therapist. It took me over 2 years to accept my ex leaving me and feeling like I wasn't (or ever would be) good enough. I still struggle and probably always will. But it's NOT hopeless. Just keep checking in on 3FC and know that we care.