3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   -   April Chat (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/depression-weight-issues/279105-april-chat.html)

VermontMom 04-04-2013 07:20 PM

April Chat
Hello chicks!! I really liked that our March thread was pretty active. It's good getting to know everyone.

Coffeeshopgirl , you mentioned your electric blanket helping you this winter, oh my gosh that's what I need! I've been using a large heating pad that I place on my bed where my lower back will be, I never have back pain (due to all my working out) but that heat, when you slip into bed, feels soooooooo good :D

I told of taking our bathroom scales out to the garage because they make me crazier, and I vowed to stay off them for 3 weeks?? well I caved today :( and don't you know, NO CHANGE. I've had 2 weeks of almost perfect on plan and have varied and stepped up my workouts, cardio and strength but NO LOSS. Yes I measured too, NO change. Really put me in a sad, sad mood. I'm not giving up but it's discouraging. Come on, isnt 2 weeks enough time for some good change??

firegirl441 04-04-2013 09:48 PM

I have doing really well since I started losing and exercising in the pool. I know though that as soon as I have bladder surgery, I will gain some of it back. How depressing!!! Then as soon as I can start pool exercise again, I will work to get off the gain from my surgery.

ladyrider72472 04-04-2013 10:48 PM

I hope y'all don't mind if I join. My name is Tammy... I am from Arkansas. I have 2 grown boys who are polar opposites. The oldest just graduated from pilot school today.. At 23 he is a pilot, veteran, and higher ranking than a lot of men he has been around for awhile... The other sob used to have a heart of old and such a caring spirit.... But he met a girl and he no longer considers me his mom... So, I guess u could say that is what's"triggered" this episode of depression, although I have dealt w it all my life.

Btw, hey Holly.... I promise I am not "fat chick forum stalking u"... Lol

The reason the thread caught my eye today is we were thinking of buying a different house. This house has been in my DH family for a long time. Recently he lost his mother and she lived in a house behind ours. But in looking at other homes.... I am wondering if part of mm old comes from the dungeon like house this is. There is NO natural light. All of the windows have been covered over the years w carports, porches, or room additions. There are only 5 windows total in the house. So, we are hoping to get this new house... And I am looking or natural sunlight....

Sorry to overtake your thread.


ladyrider72472 04-04-2013 10:50 PM

Holly, hang in there... Part of it maybe stress from the winter job!!!

VermontMom 04-05-2013 09:27 AM

firegirl, you have been doing so well :cheer2: I hope that the surgery doesn't set you too far back :)

Tammy! :hug: we welcome anyone who gets beat up by the depression monster...I have to comment about the house situation, i agree 100% absolutely that the lack of natural light is NOT GOOD for people 'like us' :( We have a high ridge behind us, and in the mornings, our area is in that shadow, while across the lake I see the homes there absolutely bathed in morning sunshine and I yearn for that!!! We also have an old house and there was nothing like open floor plans back then, I think those are so lovely and open. I hope with all my heart that you can find a home you both agree on and that it is lovely and open with light :hug:

firegirl441 04-05-2013 04:13 PM

Thanks for the concern, Holly. I talked to the doc's office and my surgery will be April 23rd. If I continue to lose at the same pace I am now, I should be right at my goal weight. I am gonna stop around 170 until after my surgery as DH is complaining that my bones are "poking out." LOL! That's the whole purpose, right? Then after surgery when I can safety go back to eating the Atkin's or Metabolic Research Clinic way and exercising in the pool, I will ease on down to around 165 and hopefully he won't even notice.

Welcome Tammy! We are glad to have you with us. I hope you and DH find a house that will be best for both of your needs. I agree that sunshine is good medicine by giving you Vitamin D and just making our moods happy.


Moreta 04-05-2013 09:34 PM

Just wanted to throw this out there....I have a sun lamp. It is so helpful during the winter months.

I'm bummed today b/c I still haven't heard back about the interview I had last week. Oh well, I guess that's just my luck.

I went back on most of my meds this week. I went off of most of them b/c I was trying to get pregnant, but we put those plans on hold for now until I can find a permanent job. Which is disappointing. It'll happen one day though.

All my meds are pretty weight neutral, so I'm hoping I'll be able to lose all the weight I gained on all the other meds over the years. I'm bipolar and I've been on so many med combos it's not even funny.

coffeeshopgirl 04-06-2013 09:35 AM

Hi Ladies! Thanks for starting the April Chat, VTMom :)

VTMom - Sounds like you're dealing with a weight loss plateau. How much dairy and/or red meat do you eat? Weight loss is certainly about calories, but getting out of a plateau means tricking your body into depleting its fat stores. If it were me, I would (1) stop any dairy products for two weeks and (2) increase my calories approx 200-300 cals. Increasing the calories should signal to your body "Hey, you're not starving, so I can let go of these extra pounds". How long have you been in your plateau?

Firegirl - Good job with the weight loss! I like your pre-surgery plan & good luck with your surgery :hug: Even if you do gain some weight, allow yourself to heal first and then get back to the pool!

Tammy - I know what you mean about needing natural light. Personally, I wake up to a light timer every morning, and if I forget to turn it on Sunday night, my Monday drags on. Circadian rhythms are so important when are trying to tackle our mood monsters. I would agree with Moreta's suggestion of the sun lamp. Also, a positive environment (3FC) is key to dropping some pounds. Sorry to hear about your son; my father met his new wife while he was still with my mom (awesome, right?), and the last comment I remember from him was "Out with the old and in with the new." He broke more than my mom's heart, I can attest to that.

Moreta - Good luck with the job interview! If it's been a week, there's no harm in calling to follow up with a simple "Hi, I wanted to say thank you for the interview last week and I'm just following up to see if you've made a decision regarding the position" Something like that. Or an email, depending on how they prefer to be contacted. The waiting is always the toughest part. Fingers crossed for ya!

I've been estranged from my dad and sister for almost a year now, and it's been getting to me lately. I got married, changed jobs, and we might be moving in the next year to Texas (I'm in Michigan currently). I emailed them a Happy Easter and got no reply. It's a catch-22 because what estranged us was their need to attack others (i.e. me, people unlike them, etc) verbally, be it in public or my house. I asked them to be more positive when we visit, to which I was told I'm controlling and manipulating. Fine - If asking you to be positive and not get lividly angry about politics, religion, etc, when you come over to my house, then sure, call me what you wish. So, if they do start talking to me, I kinda know what to expect.*sigh*

These thoughts are simply a reminder of the fact that I choose to surround myself with people who do not lash out, don't enjoy being angry and pulling other people down with them, and try their best to talk out their anger rather than yell or misplace their feelings. I suppose I would rather be a family of two positives than 5-8 negatives/miserables.

Ah well, it is what it is. I'll be back soon to post something more positive :)

coffeeshopgirl 04-06-2013 06:25 PM

Positive Post as Promised :)
Hi ladies!

Thanks for listening to my sadness rant earlier - it felt good to get that off my mind. Anyhoo, as promised, here is a more positive post about my day.

I was quite the couch potato for most of the morning, drinking several cups of coffee :coffee2: and procrastinating on the housework. The husband was quite helpful with my procrastinating, as every time I tried to get up, he jokingly responded with "Honey, we agreed to relax, and you're doing it wrong. You've earned a lazy Saturday morning." We both have a dry, sarcastic kind of humor, so it was certainly said with love, lol. Isn't he great?

Finally got caffeinated enough to clean up the house, and decided that grocery shopping and food prep can happen tomorrow. Since I didn't exercise yesterday (fell asleep on the couch), I decided that it had to happen today. My awesome TOM is approaching, which means the PMS monster is currently residing in my veins, and I'm determined to push through my laziness that I normally get around that time.

Here's what I did:

1. 10 minutes on the elliptical
2. Kettle bell circuit - 4 types of lifts (12 reps each) with 10 sit ups holding the kettle bell in between each type
3. Total Gym workout - 20 reps each of planks, waist twists, rows, pull ups, and shoulder lifts

Feeling good that I'm pushing through with the exercise. I huffed and puffed, but I knew my exhaustion was PMS related and not over doing it.

How's everyone's Saturday? Hope you're all doing well!

Moreta 04-06-2013 07:44 PM

coffeeshopgirl - I'm glad you had a relaxing saturday.

My saturday was pretty uneventful. The only things I did today was go to the bank, the pharmacy, and the vitamin store, then tonight I went to work. I got NAC at the vitamin store. It's supposed to help with depression and OCD. I'm not that depressed, but my OCD is acting up. I really hope it works this time around. It worked the last time I took it.

I was so tired today. I started back on Tegretol and it's really kicking my butt. I don't remember it being like this the last time I took it. Hopefully the side effects will go away soon b/c I want to go back on Gralise for my back. Which will be nice b/c being in pain all the time is somewhat depressing. I have 2 herniated discs and my neuro thinks I have fibromyalgia, which I'm kind of skeptical about. I would like to be able to walk for more than 20 mins though.

KawaiiCandie 04-06-2013 08:24 PM

hey guys, can i join in this thread? i love chatting :p

I'll tell you a lil bit about me, my name's Vanessa and i'm 31 and live in Japan and have lived here for 5 years teaching English. Last year i moved to Tokyo cuz i was pretty miserable at my old place and i am much happier here. I love my new job, but (and this is a really weird complaint) recently, i've had too much free time!! i've been on "vacation" for nearly 3 months and i'm going stir-crazy! cuz it's not like i'm rolling around in money to go out and do stuff, so mostly i just stay home and try to entertain myself, but i am sooooo ready for my job to start again!!! one more week!!

I've also been dieting (again) since last November. i'm not counting calories or anything, just clean eating and exercising. i've lost a little over 20lbs, but recently my weight has stalled and i lost like 2lbs in the last 2 months T_T and the scale keeps going up and down everyday and it is seriously making me crazy. like, if it was down one day, then up the next, i'll be in a bad mood all day just because of that! so i decided to try to not weigh myself for the rest of the month! i'm now 2 days down! lol.

I didn't do any personals cuz it'd feel weird jumping right in, but i read all your posts! :)

coffeeshopgirl 04-06-2013 09:54 PM

Moreta - what's NAC? It sounds like Niacin-something. I've taken Niacin before, and it has helped my depression. Hoping your vitamins/meds start working for you so your back can feel better soon. Herniated discs - ouch :(

KawaiiCandi - :welcome: Teaching in Japan - how fun! I taught English in China a while back, so I know the down time can make you stir crazy. One more week though, right? How is the everyday cuisine in Japan?

Moreta 04-06-2013 10:03 PM

coffeeshopgirl - NAC is N-ACETYL CYSTEINE. It's an amino acid.

KawaiiCandie 04-07-2013 08:24 AM

coffeeshopgirl: in China?! cool! :) how was that? do you mean cooking by myself or just the kinda food that is eaten in Japan? Japanese food is SO good, but unfortunately it's full of rice and fried stuff. people who praise the benefits of the japanese diet are full of crap!! maybe like a super traditional japanese diet, then yeah, but nobody eats like that anymore. it's best to praise their super awesome japanese genes that allows them to stay skinny while guzzling down tons of rice and noodles 7-8 times a day... *sigh* when i'm at home though, i've cut out the rice completely and will usually just cook beef or chicken or fish with tons of vegetables... :)

coffeeshopgirl 04-07-2013 09:59 AM

Thanks for the info Moreta :) I'll have to check out that vitamin.

KawaiiCandie - I was talking about the everyday food in Japan. Interesting to know that it's more fried stuff, rice, and noodles these days. China had fried food (which was delicious, lol) in their restaurants, but the students I taught chose more of the soups, veggies, and bean treats which was good to see. I walked everywhere, so I dropped about 7 pounds in a few months. Isn't it true that Japanese businesses begin with 30 minutes of exercise each day?

KawaiiCandie 04-08-2013 05:57 AM

coffeegirl: hahaha, it's not true! well, some companies do have that exercise thing, but it's definitely a tiny minority. all companies and schools have yearly mandatory health checks though. and PE classes here are INSANE!!! i would have died if i'd had to do what they make those kids do as a chubby little teen!! (lol) as for the foods people eat at home, there's still loads of rice and fried stuff... and super high sodium!! (soy sauce? miso soup?) but at least they have better portion control than we do... but yeah japanese food is soooooo good! it kinda baffles the mind that only sushi (and tempura i guess) have made their ways to restaurants across the pond because there are so so so many delicious foods here. and soooo many snacks! it's a really evil place to live in when you are trying to lose weight! lol.

VermontMom 04-08-2013 07:21 AM

just a quick good morning, nice to see so many conversations here!

:welcome: to Kawaiicandie :) sounds like a kewl occupation!

coffeeshopgirl, gosh i was not happy to hear what you dad said about your mom :( and it must have been hard but I say the right thing to do, to separate yourself from people who are toxic to you.

and thank you for the advice, I am ashamed that I am not trying that hard because almost daily now I crumble and have had something 'bad' at work (embarassed)

txgeekgirl 04-08-2013 03:35 PM

Having a crappy day. I just can't shake the feeling that nobody likes me, nobody cares about me, people will cheer if bad things happen to me, etc.

Also nobody has responded to my thread in another forum which always makes me feel crappy and unwanted. :(

ladyrider72472 04-08-2013 09:56 PM

Txgeekgirl, sorry you are having a crappy day. I too feel bad sometimes when people don't answer my thread.... but then I rationalize it and it is more figure there are more reasonable answers than they don't care what I have to say. I hope you get feeling better soon. I visited Dallas in October, I really love Texas..... maybe that is one thing you can be happy about... you live in a great City.

Vermontmom- you are doing so well on your diet and exercise. Keep it up. Its almost the end of your dreadful winter job.... most of that time it means end of sad time for you... right?

KawiiCandie, working in Japan sounds awesome. I can only envy it b/c I would not have the courage to live or work anywhere over seas.

Coffeeshopgirl, I love, love, love your name. Lol. Do you work in a coffee shop, or just like me... LOVE coffee? :coffee2::coffee2:

Well, I have got to go..... Hope everyone has a great week!!!

KawaiiCandie 04-09-2013 08:32 AM

vermontmom: thanks! :) don't feel embarrassed. life is hard sometimes! just, get yourself back up and try to let the bad things slide off your back! don't wait for me to practice what i preach though... lol. but good luck! plus you know, a trick someone gave me is that, at night, try to go through all the things that went good today, and not focus on the bad so much!

txgeek: we love you!!! :hug: and we all have bad days... go to bed early! it'll be better tomorrow! and i know how you feel... i know it's stupid but i always feel bad when people don't reply to me in other threads!

ladyrider: well, i always knew that i wanted to come to Japan so I dunno if it was such a brave thing, for me... but I definitely didn't know i would stay this long!! I wish I could speak Japanese better though... cuz sometimes it's really hard to live here!

txgeekgirl 04-09-2013 09:21 AM


Originally Posted by KawaiiCandie (Post 4699237)
txgeek: we love you!!! :hug: and we all have bad days... go to bed early! it'll be better tomorrow! and i know how you feel... i know it's stupid but i always feel bad when people don't reply to me in other threads!

So do I. It just confirms my feeling that nobody really gives a crap about me, my problems, what's going on in my l ife, and nobody wants to help me. Everyone wants me to fail.


Originally Posted by ladyrider72472 (Post 4698867)
Txgeekgirl, sorry you are having a crappy day. I too feel bad sometimes when people don't answer my thread.... but then I rationalize it and it is more figure there are more reasonable answers than they don't care what I have to say. I hope you get feeling better soon. I visited Dallas in October, I really love Texas..... maybe that is one thing you can be happy about... you live in a great City.

I know you're trying to make me feel better but oh my god, I freaking HATE Dallas. I can't wait to get the **** out of this dump. I only live here because my family lives here. The day after I bury my parents, the 'For Sale' sign is going up on the lawn and I'll be a dot on the horizon. :( I have never been happy living in D....EVER. :(

As for people not answering my thread...I figure it's because they don't care and they want me to fail. That might sound stupid but I grew up being mercilessly bullied by everyone and as I entered adulthood, people just ignored me. I'm convinced that if someone walked up to me in public and punched me in the face or stabbed me in the stomach, people would simply step over my bleeding body.

Lisa_C 04-09-2013 01:50 PM

I feel so bad, you all have been so busy with the thread and I have been lax.

Today, I joined the local YMCA. It was a big step for me but I did it. I think it will be good for me, the working out and the socializing. I still have a walking video that I can do at home. Now I just need to get myself over the hump and just start.

My anxiety has been kind of bad the past 2 days. I'm hoping that when I start exercising, it will help with that. Maybe work off some of that negative fear that I keep bottled up inside me.

I had a birthday on the 7th, it was a very quiet day. No cake, no presents but still it was a pleasant day. I got some lovely birthday wishes on Facebook and also from my daughter. She is presently at college.

I hope this post finds you all well.

coffeeshopgirl 04-10-2013 10:22 PM

KawaiiCandie - Good to know about Japanese culture. And, now I want some fried food, lol. Now that you mention it, I'm surprised more Japanese cuisine hasn't made it here either - but I really do enjoy sushi. So, what level/grade ESL students are you teaching?

VTmom - Thanks for the kind words about my dad. I finally got all those toxic memories/mood out of my head. I hate when it sits there for several days and just needs to be worked/talked out. I like being happy much much better :) And, do I remember correctly that you work in a bakery right now? That's gotta be tough being calorically good. Hang in there, and if you want some more motivation, you know where to find us!

txgeekgirl - How are you feeling today? Your last post sounds like you're really frustrated. Let us know how we can help :)

ladyrider - Thanks for the compliment on my name! I made it years ago when I used to frequent a coffee shop in college - doing homework, meeting people, etc. It's how I got that nickname - people would say "hey, you're that girl in the coffee shop" lol. There were a bunch of regulars there, and it was just a good atmosphere with good memories of that time in my life. I've actually never worked at one, but me and the husband do appreciate coffee - the elixir of life :)

ohiofreespirit - That's great that you joined the YMCA! I had a membership there and I loved the pool and their treadmills. As far as socializing, I would check out volunteering opportunities there if you're interested in that. Otherwise, I really just went in there to work out and left, lol. Guess I could have been more chatty :) Also, happy belated birthday!!

coffeeshopgirl 04-10-2013 10:35 PM

So, the last few days have been pretty stressful. Glad to report that I'm still sitting at 182.4 pounds, despite some Chinese food and fried food the last two days. I've been crazy hungry lately, so I'm hoping to combat that with water and exercise. Last night we water literally raining into our apartment (fml), and tonight we went shopping for interview clothes for the husband (so proud of him!). Needless to say, I haven't exercised in 2 days, and tomorrow I gotta get back at it.

I finally reached a point to where I am used to a routine of working-snack of berries-workout-water-dinner. My body's missing it. I'm also doing an experiment to see if I can work through my PMS/TOM symptoms. When I'm heavier, I almost can't move during this time, but I wonder what a little willpower and 3 less pounds can do. Wish me luck!

Hope you're all having a good day. Cannot believe tomorrow's Thursday, lol. Here's a motivational broccoli to get us to the weekend: :broc:

G'night everyone. :faint:

KawaiiCandie 04-11-2013 08:13 AM

txgeek: hun. nobody wants you to fail. especially not on here. if people aren't replying, it's probably cuz they don't know what to say or haven't been in that situation before. some people are just self-centered twats though and when the world doesn't revolve around them, they don't feel the need to reply, even if it could be helpful to a person. don't put so much thought into how people reply on an internet forum!!! big hugs girl.

freespirit: happy belated birthday! congratulations on joining the YMCA! i hope you find the motivation to go often :) and you're totally right, exercising helps with a lot of stuff! i hope it makes you feel better!

coffeeshopgirl: I'm teaching first and second year of junior high school. i teach at 2 different schools. and one of those schools, last year, i was teaching seniors in high school, so it's gonna be very different this year! i actually prefer the older ones, so i was kinda bummed to be sent of to the JHS section, but what can you do? plus, the program they have going on over there seems really good, so at least it'll be fun. good luck with PMS! and if you're hungry, eat! just make sure it's good stuff you're eating and not crap...

hey guys! well, today i went to one of my schools for a meeting with some of the teachers i'll be teaching with and it was pretty exciting! even though i'd still rather be teaching the older kids, the program that my predecessor has devised is amazing, and i pretty much have nothing to do except showing up and teaching it! lol. but no planning or anything, and the teachers i'll be working with all seem great! (this is my good school, mind you... my other school is another story...) but i'm stoked to be starting work next monday and to FINALLY have some semblance of a routine!!

eating's been good, and so have my workouts, but i dunno how much i weigh cuz i'm doing this "no scale" challenge until May. weighing in every day and seeing the scale go up and down (though mostly up or stable, i haven't seen an actual drop in weeks...) was making me feel really depressed (when it would go up, most of all) so i thought i'd see if i'd fare any better with no scale.

other than that, nothing to report :p

txgeekgirl 04-11-2013 09:34 AM

Thursday started off crappy because I was late to work due to some moron flipping his car over at an intersection on my way to work. The road leading to that intersection is elevated above a park and golf course so there's nowhere to turn off or turn around so if you get stuck on it, you're screwed. I don't know why people keep flipping their cars at that intersection; I use it every day and it's not dangerous/tricky at all.

Moreta 04-11-2013 11:30 AM

I was late to work today too, cause I slept through 2 alarms and didn't wake up till 8:15....

I could not go to sleep last night. My PTSD was acting up and I kept having flashbacks....which really suck. I lost a lot of my memory 2 years ago when I had a psychotic break. Unfortunately, I still remember all the bad crap.

I have things under control most of the time b/c I'm on medication, but every once in a while things break through. I'm going to talk to my therapist about it the next time I see her.

I'm better today, just tired from not getting enough sleep. The provigil kicked in, so I'm somewhat functional.

coffeeshopgirl 04-11-2013 07:52 PM

Hi txgeekgirl - We have stupid drivers up my way too. Some drivers are just plain dumb and don't pay attention to the road. Sucks that you were late to work because of it.

Hi Moreta - Sorry to hear that you're not getting enough sleep and that your PTSD is acting up. I'm glad your provigil seems to be working though. It must be nice to have some relief. I hope you're able to get some more sleep this weekend! One more day...TGIF!

So, this week has been another set of long days and errands to run in the evenings. I'm looking at my elliptical right now, and I've decided that rest is healthier than pushing through my exhaustion. I've been really hungry lately, so hopefully that's my metabolism kicking back into gear.

The elliptical will be there tomorrow. And over the weekend.

Let's all get some rest! :faint:

firegirl441 04-12-2013 03:38 PM

Sorry I haven't posted over the past week. I have been getting ready for upcoming surgery on the 23rd. it is in a city over 4 hours away so everything is done by phone. Two days I was on the phone over 4 hours each with the hospital going over my medical history, meds, etc. Glad that's over!!

I know that after surgery, because I cannot eat the low carb way while healing, I will get depressed about my weight again. I have really worked hard for the past 2 1/2 months to get this 32 lbs off just to regain part of it back. I will be on here as soon as possible reading for motivation to keep my chin up.

seabiscuit 04-12-2013 06:42 PM

Hi everyone ;)
Welcome Moreta, Txgeekgirl, KawaiiCandie, Lady Rider!

I have been doing so-so, and I have been feeling a bit depressed lately. This past Sunday was the month anniversary of my now ex-boyfriend and I breaking up. I am glad we are apart but there are parts of me that misses him too.

Last week I had a lot of medical appointments and I felt so frazzled! :dizzy: Fortunately I made it through all of them, including one appointment where I was a new patient and it included allergy testing. The appointment took about three hours! :eek: Now I have some dietary restrictions: no corn, tomato, soy, sesame, legumes, nuts for the next few months or at least my doctor advised me to not include these in my eating. There are some days when I do better than others with the dietary changes, some days it drives me crazy and I give in, others days the restrictions don't really bother me.

I never have been one who copes with stress well and I would like to improve upon that and learn how to deal with stress better. I think I have made some progress with coping with stress, but lately my way of avoiding it has been sleeping a lot and overeating. The overeating is frustrating because I had lost over ten pounds, and I may have gained it back. I have a tendency to sabotage my successes in life, especially with weight loss. Can anyone else relate to this self-sabotaging, if so do, you have any advice?

Well, I hope everyone has a nice evening and a good start to the weekend! TGIF!

It's a rainy day here, so I am hoping it will be nice and sunny again soon!

Here's wishing you all well...:goodvibes


Lisa_C 04-13-2013 03:29 PM

Hello everyone. I am so tired. I really need this weekend to recoup.

I am missing my Jennifer but at the same time, i hope she is doing really well at school. I am so proud of that girl.

Seabiscuit, I don't handle stress well either. I really don't. Nothing can break me faster than stress. That is partly why I stay out of relationships. I really don't go out of my way to look for anyone.

I hope this post finds you all well.

coffeeshopgirl 04-13-2013 04:15 PM

Hi firegirl - Sounds like you're having a lot of "fun" coordinating your surgery. I can imagine how much time it involves, especially being so far out of town. Definitely hoping it goes well, and I know what you mean about regaining some of the weight you worked so hard to lose. I find that confronting an expected weight gain (stress, bad habits, TOM) helps alleviate my depression. Of course, you'll be bummed out when you see the weight come back, but i would take relief knowing that you have a successful plan to lose it once you're done healing. I'm sure you've come to an awareness of your body where you know when you're stress eating and when you physically need to eat. Use that awareness as best you can while you're healing, and understand that the weight gain is necessary for the healing process. I'm confidant that you will lose the weight again. Be patient with you body, and remember that your 3FC support is always here for you :)

Hi seabiscuit - Def sounds like you have some stress going on, especially thinking about the ex-bf and having all the medical appointments last week. It sounds like the breakup was bittersweet but for the best; hopefully time will help your healing process. As far as the self-sabotage with overeating, I can certainly relate to that. In my experience, if feels good to push down feelings with food. It makes us feel like we're pushing down our emotions that we would rather not deal with (stress, discomfort, etc). That's been my experience with it, and it's very gratifying to overeat and make us look the way we feel - depressed, fat, etc. - like we "deserve it" or something. I think the underlying issue with self-sabotage is that we want to control how we feel, but its easier to feel more depressed (since sugar, salt, soda, etc. is physically comforting) than it is to change it with diet and exercise. The transition for eating poorly to eating clean, as we all know, produces some detoxing effects like sugar cravings, headaches, irritability - only to show a weight loss of 0.5-2 pounds at the end of the week! It take a lot of patience to break the habit of self-sabotage.

Here's what helped me:
1. Becoming aware of my actions - am I really hungry or am I stress eating? Even if I gave in, I at least acknowledged what I was doing. It always gets worse before it gets better, and now I find myself getting back on track more often than I fall off track.

2. Dealing with my stress. Blogging, posting on 3FC, whatever helps you get it out. I would post on 3FC, and when I felt like I was in a consistently bad mood, i would blog about it, so i could work out some specifics. If you keep it in, the toxin levels rise - let go of the bad feelings, and only accept positive/realistic things in your life.

3. Forgiving myself and starting new each day - it might sound hokey, but whatever works right? :)

Hope this helps :) I'll be happy to elaborate further if you like, just let me know.

seabiscuit 04-13-2013 06:52 PM


I wish you all the best with your surgery and I really hope that things go well. :hug:


Stress is rough, isn't it? I need to use my coping techniques more than I do now when stress strikes. Relationships are tough. During the most recent romantic relationship that I was in which was with my ex-boyfriend, I became so stressed out that I admitted myself voluntarily to a psych hospital. There is such a thing as crazy love, isn't there? Well perhaps I was into it.

I have been to Ohio, when I went years back it was because I was looking at colleges. I was seriously considering going to College of Wooster in Ohio and it seems like a very nice state. I am in PA now, not that far from Ohio.

Have a nice evening.


Thank you so much for your reply.

Yes, I agree that the breakup was bittersweet but for the best. It's kinda weird, I have held onto the photos I have of him and the things he gave me. A lot of things remind me of him which was hard at first but I am slowly accepting that that he is gone from my life and that being apart is best.

I thought I wanted another relationship with a guy as soon as things were over with him because I wanted 'to fill the void' that he left me with. I have been on dating websites and have received some messages, some of which I have replied to, others that I haven't because I don't know that I want romance in my life right now.

So the self-sabotaging aspect of weight loss, that is a really hard one for me. I was teased and sexually harassed as a teen, maybe part of me feels like I don't deserve happiness and to lose weight. :?: That was an AHA, lightbulb moment there LOL. I have been overweight for so long that perhaps my identity has been re-created by my weight??? I want to lose the weight but perhaps I put it back on because I am scared of a lot of things, such as the attention from guys that I will get, being in a new shape and size, etc. The alternative of staying at this weight is creating a lot of unhappiness too.

I agree with a lot of what you wrote, coffeeshopgirl. Thanks for the insights.

Sigh, the struggle continues... :dizzy:

Have a good evening everyone!

firegirl441 04-13-2013 08:10 PM

Seabiscuit: I'm glad to hear the positive remarks about your break-up. I feel that it is healthy for us to look for the positive as much as we can and you realizing that it is for the best is healthy. I don't see anything wrong with missing someone that is no longer in our life. I'm sure there were good times and those memories should still make you smile from time to time. I self-sabatoged for many years during my first and miserable marriage. Food was my savior back then and that definitely wasn't healthy for me as I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. I'm glad you realize what your doing and you can make corrections to change that behavior. Remember that all men aren't alike and when you least expect it, Mr. Right will come into your life when you least expect it. That happened to me after my divorce. I was working many hours a week and a man was the last thing on my mind. Then an EMT partner of mine asked me to drink some Tequila with him one night and the rest is history! We had never cared for each other in fact we really got on each other's nerves, but when we started talking and loosened up a little with the tequila, we realized how much we really did have in common. We have never been separated since and life is truly grand.

Coffeeshopgirl: what a great post! You spoke so elequently and truthful and it really touched me. Thank you for your kind and caring words and thanks for the messages to the others as they touched me also. You are a very special person. Thank You for being who you are!

Ohiofreespirit: I know how you feel when your baby bird leaves the nest. i don't know how a mother bird does it every year. When each of my four kids left home, I felt like a part of me left too. It is good to see them making a life for themselves now though. It is a growing pain we have to go through. I can tell you though. They will always need you at times and will be back for the loving, comforting arms of mama. I am sure it is just as hard of an adjustment for her as it is for you. I'm sending big :hug::hug::hug: out to you during this difficult time.

DH and I had a great day together at the Farmer's Market. We sold out of almost everything we carried. The other farmers did just as well so it was a good day for everyone.

seabiscuit 04-13-2013 09:56 PM

Thank you, Firegirl. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and I agree that looking for the positive is important. I, too, think that when I least expect it, it is possible that I may find Mr. Right or he may find me! The question in my mind is: What exactly do I want and not want in Mr. Right? I mean, I know basic traits that I would like and others that I want to stay away from but perhaps I set my standards a bit too high for what I want in a man?

Firegirl, what helped you to stop self-sabotaging?

I wish you all the best in your surgery. :hug:

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend.


VermontMom 04-14-2013 09:25 AM

Hello!! this is my first Sunday off in MONTHS so I can catch up on everyone. My crummy winter job is over as of yesterday :carrot: I have 2 1/2 weeks off!!

seabiscuit - I'm sorry you had the one month anniv. of the breakup. I don't have any good advice, except I echo what you said, I think as long as you focus on traits that are important to you, and eliminate those who have traits you don't admire, then someone WILL filter through :) And regarding self-sabotage, jeez I do that too and WHY?? When it seems that all i want is to be smaller and trimmer, then find myself deliberately reaching for junky stuff..I don't know. We will keep muddling through :dizzy:

coffeeshopgirl - you have such thoughtful responses to us! :hug: How did your husband do with the interview? (or hasn't that happened yet?) And ug at hearing the water coming into your apartment, roof leak?? has landlord addressed that?

txgeekgirl - hey :hug: I hope that you can accept at least this small group as people who do care about you. Granted, we're not close geographically so we can't physically help you, but we do have empathy for anyone who is suffering and we do care :)

Moreta - I hope you've been getting some more sleep. Scary to hear of your PTSD haunting you, that is terrible. Was your therapist able to help with your last visit? Oh and did you ever hear back about the interview? I also have a therapy lamp, but I haven't even used it this season.

ohiofreespirit - Belated Happy Birthday :) and congrats on joining the YMCA. Have you started there yet? I completely support working out to the point where you are actively sweating and wishing like h*ll it was over :devil: I know that has helped me so much. I don't feel a rush from endorphins but I do know that it releases tension, it is so good for our cardio/vas system, and gives us endurance for each day :) And I envy your relationship with your daughter, sounds wonderful but I'm sorry you miss her :hug:

KawaiiCandie, how was the first day with the new teaching program? and I have a dumb question..do you speak Japanese, or do people (not your students) speak English as a second language and you don't have to? Oh and I FEEL your anxiety about the dumb scale!! I took ours out to the garage for 2 weeks, that's all I could stand, then disovered I actually gained after trying to be 'good' for 2 weeks. ugh.

firegirl - your surgery date is coming up isn't it, what a difficult thing to schedule something like that in a city 4 hours away!! I hope like heck that you can continue your losing streak and not gain with your recuperation. So tell me about the Farmer's Market, you said you and DH sold out of everything? do you have produce available ALREADY??? We still have snow here!! ack!

Well I am SOOO happy at being done with the winter job, that was the one in the deli/bakery and it was so irritating with dumb people :devil: but even more so with the food temptations. Maybe I can get a grip on my mindless eating.

My summer job starts in about 3 weeks; that one I LOVE. I do the pastry baking for a private club that is deep in the woods and almost every day I commute on my motorcycle so that is 50 miles a day in beautiful Vermont countryside (when it finally warms up and greens up, that is) Now it might sound even worse for a dieter to be a pastry baker but somehow it's not that bad for me to have a handle on it during the summer. Maybe because I have the constant reminder of my leather chaps that I don't want to get tight.

coffeeshopgirl 04-14-2013 12:10 PM

Thanks seabiscuit, firegirl, and vermontmom - Glad to hear that you all appreciated my post :) Your responses to it made me smile. Thank you again :)

Firegirl - What do you and the DH sell at the farmer's market? (I can't wait for the farmer's markets to open up here in Michigan) Also, I really liked the story of how you and your DH met - thanks for sharing!

Seabiscuit - I know what you mean about wanting to fill a void right now with a relationship. There's nothing wrong with talking to new people - putting yourself back out there - but don't forget to take the time for yourself too. While you may feel lonely, you're on your way to getting back to rediscovering yourself - the things you love to do and what makes you happy. That will help you figure out what you want/need from another person.

VTMom - My husband had his interview on Friday, and it seemed to go well. They asked for some more writing samples, so we have a good feeling about it. (Still got my fingers crossed, lol.) As for the apartment, the landlord decided to do nothing (didn't even call us back!), so we're moving. In 2 weeks. Because they're awful and don't deserve our money any longer. :)

Which brings me to my update: We found a new apartment this weekend. Put down the money to hold the apartment, and we're just relieved to have found something. As far as weight loss, I'm blaming TOM for the extra 2 pounds, as I weighed in yesterday (at like 4pm) to get a reading of 184.2 lbs. I'm trying not to weigh myself every day, but after last week's poor eating habits, I needed some numerical accountability. I have a menu planned out for the week, which listed below. Funny thing is how neurotic I guess I need to be - last week we did food prep but my dinners didn't make it into their individual containers. Now, I'm pretty aware of my body and dietary needs, but this was surprising; the visual of not seeing my own little dinner in the fridge made me more lax and susceptible to temptation (i.e. eating Chinese and fast food last week). So, that's not happening this week - my dinners are going into the tupperware. Lol, it seems so silly, but whatever works right? I really hope I'll be able to report a weight that less than 182 next week.

Breakfast - apples & cinnamon oatmeal and coffee (200 & 200 cals)
Snack - Cliff bar (120 cals)
Lunch - Tunafish sandwich & banana
Snack - Some 2% milk (I'm bringing back the after lunch snack because working 10-12 hr days is making me need some more energy by the end of the day)
Pre-workout snack - bag of blackberries
Dinner - Chicken or Hamburger w veggies (trying to do low-carb for dinners)

seabiscuit 04-14-2013 12:46 PM

Hey there
VT Mom,

It's great to here from you again ;) Thank you for your kind words. I hope I someday find the right somebody for me or he finds me. For now though, I want to take some time for myself as coffeshopgirl was suggesting. I also may be moving in a few months and I don't want to get started into a serious relationship if I am going to be relocating. I still feel lonely at times, sigh. :(
I want to make more friends and get out there into my small little town to try to make new friends, but I guess I have some social anxiety too. The self-sabotaging is another ball of wax to deal with, if you have any insight, please pass it along! :D

That is so cool :cool: that you are in VT! I used to go skiing at Stratton and Bromley as a kid! I love those places! A relative of mine and his partner went to UVM, they actually met there and got married in Queechee this past summer. I went up there and saw some family up there for the wedding, it is beautiful up there! :)

Enjoy your time off! You are brave to ride a motorcycle!! Good for you for working with pastries too, I don't have the emotional strength to do that even though I did work at Haagen Dazs ice cream one summer, that was before my food issues developed.

Coffeeshopgirl- It's great to hear that you were smiling because of the posts, awe. :D

You have great advice! I need to remember that I need time for myself because I don't want to get swept away in another 'whirlwind romance,' that's how I described the last relationship that I was in. I think I will wait awhile until I get involved with someone but I do miss the companionship. I definitely don't miss the craziness.

Thank you both for your much appreciated advice!

Well, I am off to go for a walk, it is too beautiful of a day to stay inside! I have slept a lot of it away already ;)

Have a good day! Take care!

txgeekgirl 04-15-2013 09:18 AM

I'm sick today but I'm at the office...I know, I know, I'm a terrible person...but most of my coworkers have children and they are little vectors of disease, so it's not like they haven't spread cooties around either.

I feel like crap but I'd rather be here with something to distract me than at home. I hardly ever stay home when I'm sick because it's so boring. My job enables me to work from home but I rarely ever do because I can't stand the solitude and boredom.

Anyone ever feel that they're just marking time...running down the clock? I feel like I've been in a waiting room for the last 20 years.

VermontMom 04-16-2013 04:59 PM

txgeekgirl, sorry you're sick, feel better today? I never feel guilty about going to work when sick, as I'm not given paid sick time. And people shouldn't be getting that close to me anyway :D

"The Waiting Room" - well, i do feel like I'm not experiencing life as well as I could if I was at goal weight. I know I'm supposed to be enjoying the journey. I do try.

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