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seabiscuit 04-28-2013 03:25 PM

hurtful comment
 
I am a bit irritated, my neighbor commented on my weight gain again. She is an elderly lady and she means well but when she saw me coming out of my apartment she put her hands on my shoulders and said "I want you to lose weight, you're getting too heavy. I'm concerned about you." I walked away and said, "Be quiet, it's not your business." I think that she knows that it is none of her business but that is not stopping her from being a busybody. I have been friendly with her, we both volunteer locally and she drove me to a local luncheon for volunteers, she can be friendly but she is a firecracker. She acts like I am her granddaughter and in some ways I am flattered that she cares but in other ways, I really wish she would mind her business. When she first made the initial comment about my having gained weight about a month or two ago, I had just started on Risperdal and it had increased my appetite a lot, I had gained weight. I don't think it was fair of her to point that out to me, what good does that do? Lately I have been incredibly fatigued. My neighbors are used to seeing me wait for the bus in the morning for work and some of them don't know that I don't work anymore. A lot of them are busybodies. I just don't know what to do. I live in an apartment complex where it is hard to avoid neighbors and I just want to be left alone. A lot of my elderly neighbors wouldn't understand about my mental illness which is why I don't talk about it.

I feel really frustrated and irritated.

Lisa_C 04-28-2013 07:59 PM

seabiscuit,

I am so sorry. What she did was so rude, even if she didn't mean to be. Please please try not to let it bother you too much. You are beautiful inside and out, know it, believe it. Don't let one person bother you. Did you say something to her, i didn't catch whether you did or not?

Believe in yourself and your own beauty.



I went back to the Y today and walked for 15 minutes, then worked out with weights. I'm taking it easy and not trying to kill myself. i thought about walking for 20 minutes but decided not to push it. i had the treadmill set on 2.5.

Have a great Sunday evening. It is back to work for me tomorrow. bleh

seabiscuit 04-28-2013 09:16 PM

Hey there Ohio-

Good for you for going to the Y! I need to get back there! My Y is within walking distance and it feels great when I go.

Thank you for your support. I greatly appreciate your kind words. It hurt when she was rude to me like that.

This is what happened: I walked out of my apartment door, which is in a complex, and across the hallway, she and the lady who lives across the hall were talking. I think I said "Hello" and the lady who lives across the hall said "we were just talking about you," and I said with a smile, "I bet you were." Here's where the other lady comes in, she put her hands on my shoulders which I thought was inappropriate and said something like "I want you to lose weight. You're getting too heavy." I turned and walked down the hall to go to the laundry room and I said, "Be quiet, it's not your business." She said, "I'm concerned about you." I didn't say anything and then I heard the lady who lives across the hallway say to her, "Did you hear what she said, it's not your business." She said, "I know" and then said something else that I couldn't hear. I went back into my apartment, cried, sulked and was very depressed. I am a very sensitive person.

Then I talked to other people in my life and in the grand scheme of things, I am concerned more with other things, I have bigger fish to fry as they say than to worry about my neighbor but it did upset me and it hit a raw nerve. This neighbor also commented on whether or not I was going to work when I was working and shortly after I quit my job. There are a lot of busybodies around here which will drive me crazy if I let them. I went for a walk and that felt good. I wrote about these events in a log in my DBT book. I have missed the last two sessions although I am only going every other week. I am looking forward to going this week. I want to work on my mindless eating too, I do that out of stress. I left a message for my therapist too because I was stressed, there are some things on my mind.

Well, I better get going. Thank you for your support!!! ;)

Have a nice night.

Lisa_C 04-29-2013 01:28 PM

You are in DBT, that is wonderful. I am too, it helps me a lot. My therapist is the bomb. I have a folder that I take to every meeting. I write in it when something bothers me and then we talk about it. Right now we talk about my anxiety and things I can do to make it better.

I took the day off from the gym today. My legs feel weak, they are shaky so I will give them the day off and head back tomorrow. It could just be my shaking leg syndrome bothering me but I'm not going to overdue it, just incase it is from exercise.

I have the day off work today. My client's mother called me last night and said she was taking the day off work today. (monday) I will go back to work on Tuesday. It's so nice not to have to go today, I feel so free. LOL


Have a wonderful day, ladies. I will check back in soon. Much love to all.

seabiscuit 04-29-2013 03:32 PM

Hey there Ohio-

I am glad that you are getting a lot out of DBT too! I will go to my group this Thursday and then again in two weeks. It is very helpful to me. We use a workbook which I like.

I hope your legs get stronger, they probably will with your going to the gym.

That's nice that you have the day off to yourself.

It is a rainy day here, and there is rain forecasted for tomorrow here too. Unfortunately I had to cancel some appointments because I don't drive, but I was able to reschedule them.

I am leaving in about fourty five minutes to go to my gastroenterologist and then get some a blood test done. I hope things go well!

Take care. Have a nice day!

VermontMom 04-29-2013 08:56 PM

Seabiscuit, I hope your appointments went well today; and regarding the nosy big-mouthed neighbor lady ... :censored: :rollpin: :frypan: and she needs some :tape: on her mouth!! I'm so sorry she said that, and that she upset you..i sure would have been upset too. That is a shame that there are so many nosy eyes on you and your goings-about.

Hi Ohio :wave: how nice you had an unexpected day free :)

Hi :wave: to everyone else!

seabiscuit 04-29-2013 09:45 PM

Hey Holly,

How are you doing? How was your day?

You are so funny! I appreciate your support! I talked to my therapist today and she gave me some good advice regarding these busy-bodies. If only people would mind their own business more often. Those smilies are very cute and funny :D My appointments did go well, yay :cool: and I lost about four pounds! I just hope I don't put it back on because I have a habit of sabotaging myself...does anyone else relate to that?

Take care, have a good night!

Amy


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