December chat thread
 

Well, another month has gone by and it's time to start another thread to share thoughts.

I find myself struggling today. i am feeling overwhelmed with my work and with life. I have had no money for days now. It's been a rough few days.


My eating is good and I've lost a few pounds but I still have so far to go. I feel so fat. Despite all this i still feel lucky, though. I made it through Thanksgiving without gaining a huge amount of weight.

Sorry, i feel like I'm rambling.

thanks for starting a Dec. thread, ohiofreespirit. Very sorry you're struggling! :hug: No money is very scary. Yet you are still eating right and losing weight, that is admirable!!

Happy Birthday Vermont!!!

:balloons::bday2you::bday2you::balloons:

Vermont if I knew your address I would mail you a paper birthday card, just like your mom used to. I know how special they are. I used to get them from my grandmother for birthdays and Christmas and though it doesn't sound that exciting, I never realized how much I would miss them after she was gone. I hope you had a wonderful day.
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. Hopefully it's TOM but you've got to get back on those meds girl, especially since it's winter. Now, go take them and report back here. :drill: :)

Ohio, lack of money is one of my biggest fears. I hope that situation turns around quickly for you. I admire the fact that you are doing so well despite the troubles. :bravo: Feel free to come here and ramble all you want.

Mom, so glad to see you again. My weight is up and ridiculous. I feel your pain. Please keep posting! Good luck with your son.

I've been working a lot of hours between my full time job and the part-time. I haven't had a day off since Thanksgiving day. I should be off this coming Saturday but I may end up working b/c I'm afraid DF's work may be slow this month. We'll see. Have a good week everybody.

hope, thank you!! :) that was just what I needed. Oh gosh..the cards from the grandma's and moms, you are SO right, you don't know how special they are til they are gone.

It turns out that I was just feeling very blah the day I posted, and my b-day was nice - a regular day at work, but DH made a nice dinner, got me some things I had on my Amazon wish list, and DS got me a cute card and some thoughtful gifts!! And younger son called from Missouri :hug: So it was great after all.

Hope, you haven't had a day off since Thanksgiving :faint: that is sucky!! but I totally understand about the need to earn.

My small weight gain is making me very upset and I should just DO SOMETHING about it but it is every day that I cave at work. I have just got to get in a better frame of mind.

Hello to everyone :hug: and I hope you're relatively okay. Or even great :D

Starting over on the weight loss initiative...Day 1, I survived. I hate this post-baby body...I get so angry at myself for being fat! I know I can't do much about the c-section muffin but the rest of me is out of control. I'm so tired all of the time...with an intensely stressful job + carrying all of this weight I worry that I am not a good enough mom, I'm so tired! I remember being 125lbs in high school, why did I allow this to happen? Everyone & everything demands my immediate attention, there has never been me time for the last 13 years. Sigh...just need to vent. Feels like no one in my life understands!

Got a good performance review at work yesterday but everything else is in the crapper. No friends, nobody wants me, I spend all my time alone. No kids, no husband, no nothing. Makes me hostile and it makes me hate the world...basically the world doesn't want me, so I hate it.

Hi. I've been anguishing over non scale movement, although i was really active and in this month so far i am doing a tad better. no loss. just muscle gain, fat shrinkage-which i am happy over. frustratd with goals though. when i had one general goal all went much better. lol

Just here to offer hugs to whomever might need them!

((Mozzy)) I am feeling better today .. I am getting back on the horse-so to speak. lol

Hi Ladies!

Avalon - glad you're feeling better. And I'm right there with you. I know I need to be patient in order to see the scale move, but it's frustrating. Hang in there though!

Mozzy - thanks for the hug! :hug: for you!

TX - I totally understand how you feel. And if it's any consolation, we're glad to have you around here! :hug: By the way, we're neighbors :)

Newmom - Hang in there as well! :hug:

Vermont - Happy Belated Birthday!!! Hope you did something fun. :D And try not to sweat the small weight gain.

Hope - Here's to hoping you get some time off!

Hi to anyone I missed! :wave:

Me - Ever since Thanksgiving, I've been trying to refocus on my healthy way of eating; I've cut out (most) of the drinking and I'm trying to kill it in the gym. The scale moved four pounds the right way but then it moved three pounds the other way today. I'm trying to not let it get me down but it's frustrating. UGH. I have to count the small victories though - I think my thyroid medication is helping ease my depression.

(((grneyedmusdtang))) thank you.

Hello avalonmoon, txgeekgrl (you've posted here before, right? congrats on the job performance, at least!), Mozzy, and NewMom23, and hope, ohio and GEM :)

This is such a hard month for food, isn't it!?!

I am amazed at something I have to crow about. a month and a half ago our living room was UGH. Due to my frenzied efforts, tonight I am sitting in a new-to-me chair, admiring the view on the other side of the room where there are fresh painted walls, new sheers/drapes, cozy stuffed chair, homey lights, and one of my grandmother's caned seat chairs, and a pretty area rug. I am loving it :D Right there is seating for 4 in a pinch; tomorrow our new couch arrives so I will have plenty of space for when our son and gf visit in 17 days. I have beat the deadline!! :cheer2:

for those who don't know my background I am usually just paralyzed when it comes to change. Because it was so overwhelming. Our living room was not just shabby, but ugly and dusty and neglected and cheap and ugly :devil: And there were so many obstacles involved in this project...i'm just soooo grateful I was able to do it. I started in mid October!

Today I got the two thrift store chairs for $13 :carrot: Because I saved so much I am gonna splurge and order a 4' x 5' rug from overstock.com. But I'm gonna wait til after the couch is in place.

Originally Posted by grneyedmustang:
I have to count the small victories though - I think my thyroid medication is helping ease my depression.

that's great!!

Hi VermontMom. :) You have done a lot. I bet that feels great, huh?It would definetly elevate the mood, change is hard but good change is nothing to pass over. :hug:

Hello friends. I hope you all are well today.

My anxiety has been bothering me. I have this constant feeling of dread. I keep telling myself that it is simply the illness. I feel like something awful is going to happen. I hate feeling like this. My therapist tells me that I need to learn to live with the anxiety. I don't want to.

Vermont, :bravo: I'm so proud and happy for you. I understand what a major accomplishment that was for you. You should just sit back and appreciate it. I hope that inspires your family to help, or at least not protest, decluttering any other spaces that you may get the urge to tackle. A clean house really does wonders for the soul. My mom may come for Xmas now so I will be frantically cleaning my house too in an effort to make her believe I live that way all the time. ;) Sometimes there are things that they just don't need to know.

Ohio, I hate to hear you are having a hard time right now. Anxiety can be a really annoying struggle. I had more of that than depression when I was a child and in high school. I can label things more accurately now than then I think. It was a terrible, scary feeling of impending doom and dread. It's no way to live. I don't blame you for not accepting that as your future. Hang in there. :hug:

Mustang, congratulations on your efforts paying off. I'm sure the 3 lbs is just a natural temporary fluctuation. Annoying, nevertheless.

Avalon, you as well. Congrats on doing what you need to do even though you aren't getting the scale credit that you deserve. Yet.

Txgeekgirl, way to go on the job praise! Sometimes one good thing can start to turn other things around. I hope this happens for you.

I'm supposed to be at a party tonight, but I decided to stay home instead. It's frustrating. Now that I am trying hard to exercise and eat right I am more aware of my body than ever before, and it isn't a good feeling. I know my friends love me, and support me at any weight, but I feel ugly. I have been diagnosed with SAD, but I don't feel depressed. I have been leaving the house for the gym, and for horseback riding, but I don't want to do social events. I keep canceling plans with friends.

Day 6 of my diet. Trying hard but did allow myself some toppings on my fro-yo today. Missing pizza and coke...but today I had to buy a 3x coat for the first time and I'm mad at myself. I hate my body, I really do. I hate that I allowed myself to get here. I wish I could rewind 10 years and smack some sense into myself when I started letting myself go. 4lbs. down...but it's the same 4 that come and go so I'm trying not to get my hopes up. this HAS to happen now, I want to be the best mom and wife I can be. All I want to do is sleep...working myself to death...argh. Everywhere I go I avoid people I know, I just want to hide myself away.

Happy *belated* birthday VermontMom. :bday2you:

It's Monday (yay)....I like weekdays more than weekends because work gets me out of the house and I get more depressed when I'm alone.

It snowed this morning but it was only a light dusting so no effects on traffic, which is good; driving in snow/ice makes me extremely anxious.

txgeekgirl, wow, I just noticed your amazing weight loss. That is incredible. Congratulations!!! Way to go. I know what you mean about weekends. Before I was working a part time job and had 2 days in a row off, I would feel incredibly down by the end of it. Being busy is the best thing for me, even though most of the time I long to be lazy.

Newmom, aside from the part about being a mom I could have written your entire post. I hide as well. If I could earn a living hiding from anyone who ever knew me I would be rich.

TheLauren, I do the same. As I said to Newmom, I am a professional hider. I could write a book on avoiding society. Of course, I have to say that my friends who only know me as fat I don't avoid as often. It's like I think they have no expectations for me to be any better.

Thanks Hope. Everything is improving.
My efforts are paying off. Hope to see you in chat.
I'm sorry i'm slow at it. Have a nice evening. ;)

Lauren, I'm sure you're looking great but I
do understand what you said.
We have to feel it inside first. I hope you're
feeling better today.:hug:

hi all..hope you dont mind me joining your thread...i have depression..im on effexcor and tradazone for sleep..im sick of being lonely with no one who understands me..so i figure i could make a friend here and not be so lonely...

Im sooooooo frustrated with my doctors..they think i make up symptoms of illnesses..Im convinced they think i have Muncheausins (seeing symptoms that arent really there just to be able to get treated by a doctor) Yah..well it feels like every doctor thinks im crazy..i tell them "im on effexcor 225mg" and they say "thats a high dose" and "do you have counselling" and then they look at me and think im making up an illness...they think im crazzy.. and i hate it!!!! Im not crazy..im extremely smart! I study health sciences for fun..ive always had an interest in medicine and doctor stuff..my mom is a nurse..it runs in the family...my grandfather was an OBGYN...it comes natural..i study and i memorize and remember.. Meanwhile..these doctors act like doo doo heads...like "what school did you attend" cause im pretty sure your wrong...half of them are useless..

Im sorry..im just mad that people just see the meds im on and think "your crazy..you must be.." Its like.. i never get a doctor who can look past the list of meds to actually see me..next time i prone to just say "no im med free..i have no medications im on" just to see how they treat me. Maybe they will stop thinking that im crazy...oh and by the way..its not my fault i have been sick with infection after infection since i was a young kid..i cant explain why i get infections.. i just do..even though i take very good care of myself and pop mulitiple vitamins ect...

RAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Okay..im done my rant for the day.

Hi ladys I'm new to the site but I havebeen reading and it is so nice to have people to talk to. I am on antdepressed as well makes it hard to take the weight off. And being lonley I total understand where you are coming from. Well thanks for listening
keep up the great work

It's nice to see so many new friends here but isn't it sad that so many of us suffer from depression/anxiety!

It does help so much to at least have a place to vent. Spouses or family members or friends might say 'just talk to me' but if they are not trained on how to listen and respond, it just is so frustrating and sometimes counter productive!

Hello everyone.


I went to see my nurse practitioner today and found out she is leaving the practice. Drat to that, she was such a big support to me. When you are facing the illnesses that we face, it is so important to have a great support system and now I am losing her.

I need to get my butt in gear with the coming New Year. i need to start exercising. Even if it's just 2 or 3 times a week, i need to get moving.

Tonight, i have a Christmas dinner to go to for work so I have to go. I really don't want to, I'd rather stay home and crochet. Oh well, i will go and try to have a good time.

I hope you all are doing well.

Originally Posted by ohiofreespirit:
Hello everyone.


I went to see my nurse practitioner today and found out she is leaving the practice. Drat to that, she was such a big support to me.

that is not good to hear :( so sorry! I hope her replacement is helpful and supportive to you too. And I hope you have a good time at the Christmas party tonight.

I will carefully say that I am feeling so very good. I'm looking forward to Christmas which I haven't done in years. Our living room re-do is 'almost' how I want it (new couch is awful, hideous, huge and out of proportion but it's here to stay) and overall it has helped my serenity! Am back to regularly taking my med and I'm sure that is helping too. Got a new exercise dvd and it is awesome! It is handing my butt to me :devil: but I needed something new and challenging. Also found a site, Fitness Blender.com that is a wonderful find! free full length workouts.

Vermont, congrats on your living room. Glad you are feeling good and appreciating it.

My mom is coming for Xmas, probably getting into town Friday. I'm glad she is coming here. Of course that means lots of cleaning. The house needs it though and this will make me do it. The only real issue is that our water heater is going out. What would make me think that in a recession, at holiday time, with company on the way, that a $22 heating element would fix that problem? Gotta replace the whole darn thing tomorrow. Luckily we have the money and DF can do it himself.

Strange for me to look on the bright side of anything, but after the senseless school shooting a few days ago, I dare not complain about much. We are very lucky respectively.

Merry Christmas, everyone. I know I have been very quiet this month. I am on a new med for anxiety. It seems to be helping.


I hope everyone is ok. I know this is a difficult time of year. I was able to get my daughter a few things for Christmas, some small presents. She seemed to like them. We spent some good time together. I enjoy her so much.


I hope you have a happy day.

Ohio, I'm glad you had a good time with your daughter ! :) and Hope, your mom is with you?

We had a wonderful Christmas!! for years I have been blah about it, if not downright black-mood. So this was a blissful change for me. Having the living room project done for son to see was great. I know it didn't seem like a big deal to him but I know what I went through for almost 2 months and am proud of myself.

We are dangerously low on money in our bank account but I will not let myself get horribly depressed about it , as i would have done in the past. I will do what I can, and deal with it. I don't know what I can attribute this change in attitude to, that for months now I haven't been terribly 'down' but I just thank goodness for it.

I have been eating whatever I want and I have gained...I have kept up with exercise which is a slight saving grace. I need to get my head back into a 'losing' frame but it hasn't clicked yet.
:hug: to everyone