my body makes it hard for me to love myself...
 

I'm new to this website...

I wish I could love myself fully... but growing up fat has finally taken it's toll on me. (I'm 18). I hate the way I look, and sometimes I think "if only I were thin...I'd be happy".

I feel like a lazy person. And I hate myself for it.

Please, someone teach me to care enough about my body that I'll actually do something to change it. I'm desperate.

I'm looking for one heck of a motivational speech.

Hey youu <3
I know how you feel, really. I'm 19- I've spent my entire life saying that I'd do anything I could to be thin because I hated myself SO much. I could hardly look into mirrors ._.

Hate takes a lot, a lot A LOT of energy. It's draining to constantly hate yourself. It isn't motivating or inspiring. It's an energy suck.

I noticed you've lost five pounds. I started at a similar weight (and I'm shorter than you :p) doesn't it feel nice to see those five pounds gone, knowing it's not just a fluke or fluctuation, but that you earned that -5 pounds? Maybe 5 pounds doesn't feel like a lot, but 5 pounds is a lot
http://www.onemorebite-weightloss.co...t-v-muscle.jpg

It starts with five pounds, five turns into ten, into twenty, into fifty...

If you spend all day letting self-loathing suck all of your energy out of you, you're going to have a HARD time succeeding.

We all start like this, I think.

Do you have issues with depression? Why don't you make this weightloss journey a full makeover? That's what I'm doing. I'm changing my body, my mind, strength, I'm making over my self esteem and my outlook on the world. All of that started with me getting on a depression medicine that worked for me. So if that might be an issue, start there!

Make a plan for yourself. Set realistic goals. Don't let yourself fall back into this pattern of hating yourself. You -can- do this but it all starts in your mind.

Feel free to PM me at any time if you need anything. Like I said we're similar ages starting in similar places, with a similar starting view point and everything is easier when you're not doing it alone.

<3

Nobody can make you like yourself but you, and nobody can make health decisions for you but you. Nobody can "motivate" you to do anything. Nor, in my opinion, do you need some massive infusion of motivation or...whatever it is that you're looking for.

If you don't like the way you feel about yourself, check out some well-regarded self-help books that address your issues or make an appointment with a counselor who specializes in the types of problems that affect you.

If you don't like your weight, decide what you're able and willing to do to get thinner. Maybe I'm wrong, but it doesn't sound to me like your problem is really motivation, since you clearly want to lose weight. It sounds like maybe you aren't sure how to go about doing that. There are a lot of different ways to lose weight safely from simple calorie counting to paid programs like Weight Watchers. Most, if not all, of the major reputable programs and non-programs are represented on here. Look around here and see what people are doing. Do some web searches on things that you think you might be interested in implementing.

If you have questions, ask. We don't bite, but we can't force you to do anything, either. Fortunately, an overwhelming psychic push isn't necessary for anybody to make changes in their lives, only willingness to try and effort. :)

Why you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
 

As a college student who has been overweight most of my life (and a fellow depression-sufferer), I know how hard it can be to love yourself and see the power and beauty in your body. You say you feel lazy. For a good understanding of why that isn't true, checkout "Why We Get Fat" by Gary Taubes. You sound like a diligent, smart person. Don't give up! With the proper diet, you can conquer this. It has been working for me. Remember that you are a worthy person. My prayers are with you.

Go easy on yourself.
 

I am pretty sure as you lose more weight, you would feel more confident and love yourself even more. but for the time being, let's try to go easy on ourselves for not being the perfect person (whatever that is).
Have a good day!:):):)

SuburbanHusky The fact that you are wanting to do something about it should make you happy. I was overweight from my teens and I am 39 and still battling this dilema. Really all that matters is if you are kind to yourself. No one can tell you what to do, because really would you listen? You have to really really want it, and when you do want it, then you wont care anymore how aweful you look, you will only have one goal, and that will be to look good and feel good for yourself! Don't be so hard on yourself, love yourself and treat yourself with the respect and dignity you deserve!

I have tried to lose weight because of other people trying to motivate me, telling me that I'm doing great (I've lost and regained). But you can only do it for you, you can only motivate yourself to get the results you want. You can't rely on someone else for your own happiness. If your sick of it, and frustrated enough, you will want and be motivated to lose the weight. That's a mental barrier that only you can overcome.

To achieve successful weight loss you can't focus on that unknown time in the future when you have already reached your goal. You need to focus on the process. Today. What you're eating for dinner or your next workout. For example, I have tons of friends who always have these get rich quick schemes and they always think about how they are going to spend their money before they get it. These guys have never gotten wealthy. My wealthy friends are all people who focused on their next internship, on staying up and getting another hour of work done or on getting an A on their next exam. If you want to reach your goal weight you can't think about it, especially if it's such a long way off. Find a way to enjoy the process and the pounds will follow. The second thing you need to do is be happy with yourself. As Carl Rogers, the famous psychologist, said: "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." Get a new outfit or piece of jewelry that makes you feel beautiful. Read inspirations quotes, write a list of things you love about yourself, take a long bath, meditate, get a manicure. Simply feeling happy with your life and your self will cut down on your eating. Find a way to get exercise and have fun. You could volunteer for Habitat for Humanity on weekends (also looks great on your resume), get a bike or go hiking. Take up healthy cooking as a hobby, explore your local farmer market. To achieve successful weight loss you really have to change your habits and begin exploring the world in a completely different way. I'm not saying all thin people live life like this but everybody is different and when you are having trouble with weight loss and self esteem you need to change more than your eating you need to change how you live life. No more afternoons of TV, no more driving to the mall. You are now going to become that girl who refuses a chocolate chip cookie and bikes to her friends houses, who carries gym clothes in her bag and drinks 8 cups of water a day. Because you can, because you want it, and because you're worth it. I hope I inspired you to get moving!

"Misery can brainwash you into thinking negatively, instead you must do the opposite and brainwash yourself with positivity."

I keep this posted at my desk so that I'll remind myself that sometimes I need to change my outlook.

I never understood the Nike slogan "Just Do It" until I started this third attempt at losing weight. Just do it. Don't talk about it, do it. No one can kick your butt into losing weight but you. No one can take away your sadness but you. Just do it. Go to sparkpeople.com to get started if you don't know where to start and make the commitment.

You have some options, you can stay the way you are and accept yourself, you can make some changes and try to find some happiness or you can keep doing the same things that you've been doing and complaining that you're unhappy.

You can change your circumstances if you want to. No one can do that for you and all you have to do is look around this site to see that it's not impossible.

One more thing. I don't think it's your body that's keeping you from liking yourself. You control your body. It took a long time for me to realize that I was really angry with myself for allowing myself to get so heavy so I started to punish myself and I was really mean to myself. My therapist asked me if I would be friends with someone who talked to me the way I talked to myself. Clearly the answer was no.

It's a waste of your time being angry or not liking yourself. Just make the changes you need to make and start treating yourself better.

I know these feelings all to well. I have suffered with depression and social anxiety disorder since I was 12, I am now 22 and I am still learning to understand myself. While growing up I started using food to numb myself from all my unwanted emotion but as my weight went up my self-esteem went down. I hated my body, my weight and how I felt. I dropped out of school because I was so disgusted with myself. All that energy spent hating myself drained me and I would spend all day laying in bed thinking "If only I were thin, I wouldn't feel like this". Sound familiar?

I can't teach you how to care for your body but I will tell you how I did it. My first step was that I had to make myself realize that if I truly hated my weight then I could do something about it. Being over weight is not a permanent condition; unless of course you let it be. I didn't stop hating myself over night, but I did feel instantly better once I started doing something about it instead of letting it simply be. Little things made a difference, cutting out pop, not eating that second helping, not grabbing that bag of cookies. I finally felt like at the very least, I was trying.

I added in walking 1-3 times weekly. I walked at night of course, because I was uncomfortable with anyone seeing me. When I felt like stepping it up, I ran around my back yard when no one was home or was fast asleep (I had a rather large back yard).

All that energy you expend hating yourself? Use it for something better. If you hate yourself so much, then start making little changes. One small change can have big results on how you feel on the inside. The first step is always the hardest one. I know it was for me, I suffered for years before I started actually making steps towards what I wanted. I really wish I had took those steps sooner because I may have saved myself from 100 nights of crying myself to sleep over something I actually had control over.

No one can make you love your body but you and no one has the power to change yourself but you. The best thing about that is you can change, it is possible even when it seems like you are attempting the impossible.

I also had a psychologist, was on anti depressants and anti-anxiety pills due to my suicide attempts. If you think depression might be a possibility for you and you are not on medication I would encourage you to go to a professional. Sometimes that is the first step in itself to feeling better. Not everyone needs to be on medication for long periods of time and sometimes its the little boost you really do need. :)

Good luck, I hope you find the inspiration you are looking for :hug:

(((HUGS)))

You may not like what I'm about to say, but just being thin or having long hair or being tall or having blue eyes...none of those physical things can "make" you happy. I think it's possible to wish your body was the best it could be and like yourself enough to work towards that direction because you are worth the effort. I don't know if it will make sense to you, but you can like yourself even if your size is not what you'd like it to be. Hey, I am an old chick and just look at you...you are only 18-you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to try different things and decide what you like and how you want your life to be. It's really up to you. I wish I had known then what I know now....LOL! I bet you've heard that before!

There must be one thing at least that you DO like about yourself...everyone has at least one redeeming quality. Even me ;-) Even you! And it isn't necessarily about your boobs or your butt or the size of your waist. I have a wicked sense of humor, and I love to laugh and make other people laugh. I wish I was thin, but if I had to choose to be thin and not funny or funny and not thin....it's not even a contest. I wouldn't trade my sense of humor and wit for anything. That's something I like about myself. How about you? Are you creative? Funny? A good friend to people? Honest? Think of something good. And then use that to motivate you so you know there is something really wonderful about you and being thinner is just a part that you want to work on so that you can be your own very best person.

If you really can't even think of just one thing, then maybe you can find a friend to talk to or a professional. It really sucks to have such an awful self image and nobody should have to continue to feel that way. I know from experience. Long story, but trust me!

Barb