[Latchkey Princess]

I've had a diagnosis of depression since I was 16. Now, 12 years later, I've been re-diagnosed as having bipolar, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. I just got my meds today (am also going to therapy) and I'm terrified they are going to make me gain weight. I've been put on Depakote (divalproex) 250mg three times daily and 1 mg Atavan (lorazepam) as needed up to 3 times daily. I'm not too worried about the atavan, I've been on it before and since it's an "as needed" I won't have a constant level of it in my bloodstream. But the depakote is scaring me half to death. Everything I've read is people gain copious amounts of weight in short times while on this medication. I told the doctor I was terrified of weight gain and that it could potentially make me not want to take a med, but he assured me it was only a possible side effect and would most likely not happen to me. Part of the reason I'm so scared is because I'm just coming off a "binge" of sorts where I've gained back 30lbs of the 50 I lost. I don't think gaining any more back would be helpful to my mental health. So I guess I'm asking for personal experiences, advice, or ways people have avoided weight gain on depakote. I'm also very scared of the constant feeling of hunger people say they have on this med, I already have trouble with the difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger, typically giving in to the physical hunger so I can better control the emotional hunger (if that even makes sense). So being in a constant state of actual physical hunger is not a pleasant prospect.

Sorry for the rambling. I guess I'm just nervous and anxious and scared. If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading.

[novangel]

If you need meds, you need meds. Your mental health is equally as important if not more. I truly feel that psych meds alone will not make a person gain weight, it's calories in that will make you gain. If they makes you feel increased appetite then you just have to exhibit self control or find low calorie snacks, but avoiding necessary meds out of fear of weight gain is the wrong answer. Again, the pills alone will not make you gain...it's caloric intake. People often start eating more once they feel better (happy) and attribute the gain to the meds.

[Latchkey Princess]

Just to clairfy, I'm not PLANNING on not taking the meds just because of weight gain. I just know myself, and unexpected weight gain sends my anxiety into overdrive, I'll have panic attacks (bad enough that lorazepam only takes the edge off) and it will send me into a downward spiral. At the bottom of said spiral there is scary feelings and actions, one of which includes just giving up on meds. I am hoping even if I do gain the depakote will prevent the sprial, but not sure as I've never been on an anti-seizure med before, only anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds.

Also, meds CAN cause weight gain despite calories in. Its happened to me before on zoloft, one reason I'm so scared of depakote.

But anyway, thank you for the advice. I'll be sure to try and exercise my self control over this stupid hunger (I'm already feeling some on day 2, hopefully it's just a temporary side effect for me).

[CTR73]

I’ve had mental illness for as long as I can remember. I only got diagnosed when I was in my early 20’s and now being in my late 30’s I can say I’ve tried different medication. I can say that on one medication years ago that my doctor put me on I gained weight fast. It was 30 pounds in a month and a half. I started to have severe panic attacks because I was already heavy. I have to disagree with the notion that medications can’t make you gain weight because they can. It’s like a person who takes steroids they unfortunately will gain weight in the process.

Try the medication faithfully for a month. If you see that you are gaining weight rapidly go right back to your doctor. There are so many medications that it might take trying a few to find the one that works for you. Every medication gives different side effects to different people.

I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) when I was around 24. In a strange way it was a relief to know why I was the way I was but it was scary because now I had a label. Hang in there. I completely understand what you are feeling. Give it a try and you’ll know by a month how your body is responding.

I wish you the best.

[CTR73]

Also I wanted to add. Did you ever try Xanex? I don't think I could survive without it. When I have severe anxiety or panic attacks it works great.

[Latchkey Princess]

Just wanted to give a little update. The meds are working, I don't think my dose it quite high enough yet, but per the doctor's request going to give it a full 6 weeks at the current dose before we change anything. I guess the hunger was a temporary side effect for me, because now I find myself pushing away food or only eating half of what I would have because I get full much quicker. I don't know whether that is the meds affecting me or just an indication of how much my overeating was triggered by my bipolar/borderline. As far as weight, even though I'm eating significantly less I'm maintaining, so I think if I was still eating like I used to I would be gaining for sure. Now I guess its just the waiting game, let the levels even out in my body and see what happens in the end. Thanks for the advice and kind words. I appreciate it.

And CTR73 - I've had good results with lorazepam before. It seems to be doing its job this time, but if it loses effectiveness I will definitely mention Xanax to the doctor.