Hi everyone

I just joined 3FCOAD. I was looking for some help relating to the issue I am having at work and I came across this website. So here goes.

I am a 26 year old who is overweight. Not obese. I have a big butt and fat arms and am 5'4. Recently a bunch of new guys joined the room I am working in (we have different client rooms) and they keep bullying me about my weight. For example, I was looking at one of my friends' Blackberry phone and one of the guys came up to me and said "oh thats a good phone for you coz it matches your size." I was so embarrassed I wanted to die. The same person took my lunchbox once and held it up for the entire room to see (its a small box) and said "see how little she eats in office. She must be gorging at home huh?" The bullying has got so bad that I don't feel like going to office anymore.

I feel like killing myself. I frequent the gym and I am seeing good results. But I feel like an ugly blob and my self esteem is at a negative bazillion because of this bullying. Please help me.

he's pathetic, next time you can say "rumor says only a guy with a small penis laugh at other people cuz he has low self-esteem issue."

Hi jazzyjas. Thank you so much for your reply He is such a jerk that he would actually ask me if I would like to see his penis to see if its small or not. I have stopped talking to him and this has resulted in the people in the room avoiding me. Thinking I have made a big deal of nothing. I'd like to ask for a transfer but I don't like to seek help from the senior people in office because the guy who bullies me is an office favorite. Everyone loves him. And I don't think they will support me in any way..

Well, this guy is a real jerk. No ¨real man¨treats a woman like that no matter her size. Personally, I would walk in with my head high knowing if I were 300lbs, I would still be 100x the better person than this a@shole is!!

Lose the weight sister and then make him drop to his knees drooling. Sometimes revenge is the best reward!!

Thanks for your reply lovemydoggiesx2 Two weeks ago one of the guys in my gym told me that I have lost weight. I was so happy I was bouncing off the walls lol. And then these jerks turned up and everything went downhill from there. I was not that serious about losing weight but I am going to get serious now. I am sick and tired of being bullied...

This is harassment pure and simple. Go to your human resources department. If they don't resolve this issue you have grounds for a lawsuit. You do not have to put up with a hostile work environment whatever size you are.

Hi moviegrl1737 Thanks for your reply. If this continues then I will have no choice but to report them. As I mentioned before, this bully is an office favorite. So I don't know to what extent seeking HR's assistance in this matter will help me. But if it continues I will go to them

Where do you work ? Sounds like your coworker is stll in the fifth grade. Start documenting every time this jerk makes a remark about your size. Just jot down the dates and the comments, when you have a few, go to human resources.

TOTALLY AGREE!!

Yep, write down everything that happens and go to HR. They will want specific examples.

It's flat out harassment.

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Document, document, document. And go to HR. That is absolutely unacceptable behavior, and you do not have to put up with it, regardless of whether he is the office favorite.

If HR blows it off, look up the employment board for your state and contact them.

This is insane - he's supposed to be an adult. I understand not wanting to escalate things, but please, please do. You shouldn't have to deal with this.

I agree. Document, report it to HR. If they blow it off, go higher.

Next time he pulls a stunt, pull out a notebook and ask him if he's like to put that in writing and initial, thanks. Don't be aggressive so he starts escalating things at you. But let him know you are taking notes!

If he starts up with the "you are too sensitive, can't you take a joke?" business, note that too. In fact, check out #6 and #7 and maybe #10-- sounds like he plays in those areas.

http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/u...urphy-2010.pdf

How much of that applies in his case? Because he is mean and abusive. So document THAT too -- the type of abuse/intimidation he's doing.

What he said, when it was said, who witnessed if any, type of abuse. Take it to HR and keep on doing it.

It is NOT anything to do with you or your personhood. And you know what? your self esteem will take a hit UP instead of DOWN taking action on this nonsense. You do NOT deserve this.



A.

Vex and Blueberries are totally correct. You need to document everything. Time and dates, locations, what was said, etc.

Everytime it happens, go to HR. Document that as well. Who you talked to, what you said, what they said, what they said they were going to do to resolve the issue.

Each time he does something, head down to HR and file a report. Keep as much paperwork in the chain as possible.

You also have a right to see your employee file at anytime. Do not hesitate to ask for copies of reports regarding the situation for your own files. If HR isn't putting copies of the incidents in both your files, they are not doing their job.

This guy is the one with the issue - NOT YOU!!! The best defense you have is to arm yourself with as much information and back-up as you can.

If HR doesn't act, you do have a lawsuit.

Just remember - you are the only person who can let him make you feel bad. Empower yourself and you will feel better.

Keep your chin up, keep moving ahead and have alot of faith that it will work out in the end.

Document it! Like others have said. Especially if it occurs in a hard copy form (like an email). This is 100% harassment and NOT work appropriate. I'm so sorry you're going through this.