I went through a bad breakup and I have been unable to move on, partly because i run into him all the time. In general i have just been feeling worthless and feel like i'm almost 34 years old and no guy is ever going to want to date me or marry me or have kids with me, and the clock is ticking and i am just getting older and less desirable. I was just feeling extremely depressed.

Finally i decided i had to do something about it. I'm going to lose some serious weight by my 34th birthday (and continue losing it after that). It's not about the guy, since losing weight isn't going to get him back (nor would i want him back)...but i have to take control and do something about my life. I will get older, but i don't have to lose my looks. I want to feel desirable and happy with who i am. I have to live with this body forever. Might as well start eating healthy and developing good habits for life. Hopefully this doesn't sound overly dramatic, but i'm thinking of it as, "i have to lose weight to save my life." Because i was in a downward spiral, unhappy, and paralyzed from doing anything about it.

Yeah I feel like if I could get back on the wagon i would feel in control of something... but i also feel like i need to come up with a plan for everything else so I'm not dissapointed in the "end. If weight loss makes you feel powerful (or at least less powerless....) good for you

34 is by no means too old to find someone or to have babies. Try not to be down on yourself for the things that you cannot control. I think you are headed in the right direction by taking control of your weight issues. Losing weight by eating healthier and getting active will help you look and feel better, more desirable and perhaps help you come out of your break up blahs.

I'm in the same boat, as far as wanting to lose weight to make a better me...well, with the exception that my boat has a lot more weight to shed. Taking time to improve you is the best way to start. I know it's hard to stay positive when you are just coming out of a relationship, but things will get better. It will just take some time, and in the mean time you can start by making your body look and feel better and the mind will follow.

Good luck! Oh and when is your birthday?

My birthday is in June! I was thinking it would be great to lose 15 pounds by then, but it's not that important...as long as i lose it eventually. There is no rush.

I already feel so much better since committing myself to my new healthy way of eating. I feel like i have something to look forward to--getting in shape. Somehow i feel lighter even though i've only lost 2-3 pounds--it's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders since i've stopped focusing on men.