Not sure how I'm feeling...
 

I've been struggling with my weight most of my adult life. I've tried so many things, but never have been able to get to my goal weight (not even close). I used to say I have diet ADD, but I don't know what it is. I think I'm afraid to fail. To the point where I am finding it hard to even start something now...even just small steps towards being healthier.

I feel like there is a total mental block that I've never felt there before. I need some advice on how to get started...I've never felt such resistance from my brain...but yet I hate what I have become...I am ashamed how heavy I've let myself become and I can still picture myself thin, but it's getting blurrier.

Any advice would be great!

This probably isn't going to help but you seem to be feeling down so worth a shot - I read this quote on here (not sure who said it) and I find it helpful personally-
"If you don't quit, you can't fail."
What have you really got to lose by trying?