[LollipopSiouxsie]

I've been on two types of medication to treat my depression and anxiety since May 2011. I take Propanolol to control the physical symptoms of panic attacks and I know this definitely works because it starts to kick in about fifteen minutes after I take it. I also take Citalopram (Celexa/Cipramil). I used to be on 20mg but I didn't feel like anything was happening after a few months, so my doctor upped it to 40mg a couple of months ago, but I still don't know if it's working. I still have days when my thoughts and worries are eating me up and I can't find the strength, the will or the energy to do simple tasks like tidy up or even cook dinner, and all I want to do is hide in my room because I don't feel like I can cope. Just last week I felt like I was spiralling, and at the moment I sort of feel ok. During that bad week I ended up crying in public when my boyfriend and I went for coffee, and I can't even begin to describe how embarrassed and ashamed I felt. I hate crying in front of people and there I was with tears running down my face! My question is: how are antidepressants supposed to make me feel? Because mine make me feel like I'm on a seesaw! Is this normal? I've read the information booklet several times over and it hasn't really answered this question so I'm not sure where I stand.

I'd appreciate any feedback from other Citalopram users, although all experiences are, of course, very welcome!

[aliasihaya]

Oh that is the age old question of depression...how do I know that I'm better? I'm not a Citalopram user, but I've had years of experience in searching for the right meds. I'm still working on it. I guess the advice that I'd give is a couple of things:

1. Sometimes it really does take awhile for the med to kick in correctly. I'm on Lamictal and for the longest time I didn't think it was doing anything until I got to the correct dose. Then I realized that it was helping. So your doctor should be giving you guidelines as to how long it should take for you to see some improvements.

2. Sometimes you have to search for the right medication, but keep fighting if the symptoms are still there. Something that I've realized recently is that I was becoming complacent with fighting for the right medication. I was telling my doctor that I was fine even though I wasn't because it was easier than to constantly explain to her my symptoms. But I've switched doctors and have realized that they can only help if I'm honest with them about what I'm feeling. And now that I've become honest again I'm really encouraged by the plan that my doctor has created for us to find the right medication. I'm actually hopeful again.

In the end, I say don't say you're fine because someone tells you you're on the right dose. If you feel like you've given it enough time and it's not helping then keep working with your doctor on it. From what you've expressed it sounds like it's just not helping yet. So they may need to change it to something else or up the dosage. But keep working with your doctor on it. Finding the right medication can be a long journey, but I'm hopeful that you and I will figure it out in the end.

GOOD LUCK!