Finding out ex is engaged; wanting to eat.

  • I think im about to explode. Im only 21, i met my ex when i was 17, fell in love for the first time..broke up a year ago..now i know im only 21 but he is my first love. Never been with anyone but him...I thought I was over it..over him..and i am so i don't know why im reacting like this. But today i fount out hes engaged...& i feel broken. This is NUTS. I need to stop... I cant stop crying & i cant stop thinking about food..all i wanna do is eat. I saw his fiance..a very pretty tall skinny blonde..unlike me the fat short brunette..I dont want to eat my feelings but i have a feeling im going to...How do i stop this? Last thing i need to do is go binge eat.... I don't even know where to go from this...I dont understand why its hitting me this hard...i feel so saying fck everything.
  • Eek, first loves are the worst. In my experience, you never completely get over the person. I was with mine from ages 17-19, and now, over 10 years later, I still think about him sometimes (most often when dreaming). I've been happily married for 2 years now, and my ex got married a month ago (also to a skinny blonde!). Even 10 years, about 20 boyfriends and a wonderful husband later, his wedding got to me. It's just one of those things you deal with. Don't know if you have contact with him, but putting up a complete wall (not FB friends, never run into him, and do whatever possible to find out NOTHING about what he is up to) can help. That helped me the first couple years.

    As far as eating goes, I'm of no help because I've never been able to control it when having intense emotions. I'll tell you one thing (as a formerly skinny semi-pretty girl)...the more weight I gained, the less men found me attractive. The dating pool gets smaller and smaller with every pound gained. I know, finding a significant other is definitely NOT a good reason to get in shape, but some people need different motivations.

    Good luck girl...first loves SUCK for this very reason.
  • thanks pizzalover....your right..i wish I didn't know SH*T about him now...I think it also has to deal with me being so single right now to..and feeling envious/jealous of him. & im NOT going to binge...i don't need food to get through this. Atleast thats what im tellin myself.
  • Girl...my first love and I broke up AGAIN...we went to prom together, and graduated together. I hooked up with him after about 8 years after we graduated and it was H to the ELL on Earth after a few years. Ever since I left him, I've gained around 20 pounds from eating to comfort myself. On top of that...I seriously just found out that he's dating someone again...and I was sad more than I can ever say, but it's time to keep it going.

    We just have to keep moving...because they aren't worth the tears and the anger anymore. In my case, it wasn't worth it then, and it dayum sure ain't now!

    Good luck hunny...thanks for sharing
  • This is such a hard situation... We've all been there. But just try to think of yourself as the sexy skinny brunette he will have missed out on ... and that might help you stay away from the ice cream tub or whatever!
  • I know exactly how you feel. I was supposed to get married Oct. 18th. My fiancee, we also have two kids together, left the day before. He has two girls of his own that were to be my step daughters, they already called me mommy. He took them and wont let me talk to to them. Now he's talking to someone else and I think he has been even before he left. Its not exactly like your situation because hes not marrying her, but im telling you i know how raw and how you cant feel like you go any lower. The only thing that keeps me going is exercising with really loud music. It doesnt make me feel completely happy or make the hurt go away, but i can breathe just a little easier and feel a smidge of hope.
  • thanks yall..believe it or not i feel a little better after reading yalls responses ...and kata..your idea sounds great! im gonna exercise hard tomorrow and maybe get some of my anger out of me...sorry hes keeping ya from those girls :/ that's lame. I know it could be a lot worse for me..its not like we just broke up or anything..or that we have kids or anything like that..but its still killing me for some reason..I am to embarrassed to tell anyone else how i feel in fear that they would look at me and be like " yall been broken up for a year" wtf is wrong with you? ....Thanks for listening yall. Now I just gotta tuffen up..not eat bad foods and keep pushing forward..easier said then done tho.
  • oh i know how you feel, i have a similar situation and i still have to see this guy every day at work......just use your heartbreak as motivation to work out and look amazing and let him see what he is missing. it's his loss!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Christ I know exactly how you feel right now, I just hope it gets easier for us.