So I feel as though I have been hit, repeatedly, by a truck lately. I spend half the day trying not to cry, the other half fighting off panic attacks, my self esteem has plummeted randomly, and I want to do nothing but crawl into bed and stay there all day. This happens to me on a pretty regular basis too and I slog through it. I just don't have the energy to lately.

I have lost interest in trying to lose weight as I keep hearing in my head "who will ever look at you, you think you can lose weight, etc etc" all those nasty things that I am normally able to ignore. Lately, I just can't seem to care and I hate it.

I don't understand. I want to lose weight. I want to get up and do things. I just can't seem to fight off the black cloud that is raining on me constantly. I have tried to motivate myself with rewards, deprive myself of what I want, all the tactics that should work but don't seem to do it for me.

Logically, I know that I need to do something or nothing will change for me (not just weight but my job, my social life, etc)...I just can't. I assume this is depression but I am not sure if I should look into medication. I don't even know who I would talk to about it, my GP? Do I need a specialist?

I just want the truck to stop running me over and over.

I've been there. It sure sounds like depression to me. I'm Canadian so I don't know how the American medical system works but if I were you I would go see my GP and if you need a referral to a specialist they will refer but I would also go see some kind of cognitive behavioural therapist.

In my experience - and this is only my experience - I had much better success going for therapy. It takes time but it is worth it.

I agree this is depression, seek your GP for guidance or do you have a close friend that you could talk to that would understand what you are going through? How long have you been trying to lose your weight? How long have you been feeling this way? Sorry for all the questions just trying to help

Yes, this is depression and we all have been there. Even the people you see with smiling faces go through this.

I totally understand. I want to send you a big hug right now because you probably need some loving support around you. I know when I go through this, it has to do with what is happening around me and I feel stuck or like I don't have control over my life. The best thing that I have found, is that I take my time and KINDLY take a nice shower or bath. Maybe give myself a face mask ( Be kind to yourself and your body right now) Then I go out and take a leisurely walk in nature. No hard working out, just kindness to myself. I may even go to a book store or the library and look through uplifting books.

The bottom line is the depression hits hard when you become a slave to the thoughts about your circumstances. I have found that unfortunately life is not always fair. But what we do have control over is our thoughts and how we deal with these circumstances. Give yourself a healthy break from worrying about anything. Do what get's you focused on just being with yourself and feeling good other that food.

Another little trick I use, is I go on the web and look for funny videos that will make me laugh. It always helps me feel better.

Again, I am sending you HUGE hugs.

I completely understand. I've been there. I actually on medication right now for a mood disorder and depression. I'm not 100% sure that it works, but I also have a hard time taking pills so I go back and forth on being consistent taking it. That makes a big difference. I don't know that it's making happy. I don't get the euphoria that other people talk about. However, I do think that I feel a little better on it than off of it. When I'm completely off of it, my mood swings are so difficult and I have several bouts of crying.

But I have serious motivation issues. I'm in the cycle of losing a little bit of weight and gaining it back. I've done it again recently and I'm trying to get back on track. But the depression makes it so difficult. I so want to be motivated but I just can't get there. So I understand although I can't offer many suggestions. I do know that staying busy helps. The trick is trying to make yourself busy when you don't feel like going anyway. I'm still working on that. I think going on this form helps. I love seeing the success stories. It makes me realize that it's possible.

If you do want to go the medication route, I do recommend that you see a specialist. I don't believe that GPs know enough about the nuances of each medication to start you on the right track. And be prepared that it's a slow process. Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right psychiatrist/psychologist for you, the right medication and the right dosage. But it might be what you need to give you a kick in the butt for awhile. But my psychiatrist also stresses that exercise does wonders for your mental health as well. Fish oil capsules help as well. But that's hard to get into when you're not feeling your best. Not sure if it helps, but send me an email if you want more info on my experiences. Good luck!

Thank you all for the support and information. I have been busy (and sick) lately so I haven't been able to reply to properly. I should be able too tomorrow morning though~!