Hey everyone,

For the past few years I've been great with my eating and exercise. I lost about 20 lbs and levelled off in the 165-170 lbs zone (my ultimate goal has always been around 155). I feel good at 165, but only when I've been taking care of myself. I'm the body type where if I have a day of eating bad, I'll gain weight in a day, but if I work out for a day or two, suddenly I'm fit again.

I was sick recently with a cold and couldn't exercise for a week due to congestion. I lost a lot of muscle and gained some fat back. I've had some trouble getting back into my routine recently, but have vowed to do so.

My biggest anxiety right now is super strange. My issue is that in the past, I struggled with eating disorders and overexercising. I want to get down to 155 lbs which is a totally reasonable goal for my height and not at all underweight or unhealthy, but when I think about working out now, I panic (despite the fact I've been healthy about it for years). When I had my ED, I lost my period, and I'm paranoid about losing that again. When I was unhealthy, I lost my period around 130 lbs and went down to 112 lbs, and it was mainly because I was eating 300 calories/day. I'm clearly going to be healthy - reproductive system and all - losing 15 lbs on my 6'0" frame by normal workouts and eating, but for some reason, I just keep thinking that working out will make me UNhealthy.

Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this fear so I can continue onto my goal?

Do you think that nervousness might be telling you something? Maybe that you're going to a place, dietwise, that's not good for you, right now.
I've had bulimia for most of my life and this is the first time in years that I could diet without creating huge problems for myself.
Do you think it would help to try another kind of work-out. Mostly weights maybe, so that you're focused on getting strong and not on burning calories. That way you'll maintain your muscle. Strength training is way less triggerey for me.
Also, BMI is a tool that is questionable for measuring a person's health and it is less accurate for taller woman than for the general population. Often taller woman can weigh more than the BMI chart says is healthy without incurring health risk. So trying to be at the lower end of a 'healthy' BMI may be underweight for you.

Great post Anna. I know when I tried to maintain a weight of 150 - 155 I had such a hard time, more mentally then physically. I can't tell you how many times I heard OMG you are to skinny (at that weight).

The weight I felt most comfortable with was 170 lbs (I am 5'10"). I really hate charts that tell you you should be smaller then what your body is happy at (and I mean a healthy happy).