I have been dealing with this for over a decade. I am not on meds as its only become apparent that this is bipolar recently (more likely cyclothymia or something like that, a more mild form of bipolar)
When I'm feeling great!! (manic-y) I have tons of energy, I exercise regularly, and I have a HUGE decrease in appetite and so I lose weight easily. Then when the depression hits, I can barely get out of bed, I have no energy to exercise, and I binge eat (to the point of feeling sick, its horrible) and I gain weight.
People don't know I'm bipolar. They just see the weight gain and loss. I hate that my personal struggles come out like that. I get so scared when I lose weight because I always gain it back when depression hits. And I never know when the depression will hit...I was down to 155lbs about a week ago then one morning I couldn't get up and I've felt drained since. I've been binging SO EXCESSIVELY that I'm probably about 165lb. I don't even want to weigh myself. I don't want to gain the weight back but as you all know the depression is so much more then a case of the blues. I just vegetate and eat.
I'm bi-polar, it sucks. People notice too. My room mate loves my Manic Stage because I'll buy her things I can't afford because I just want to go out and DO things all the time. The depression stage pisses her off and she doesn't help when I'm like that.
I know what you mean about weight gain and loss too. It's hard when it shows, but I have learned, if I'm healthy, manic stages seem to be a bit more fluent, as dangerous as that is, it's better than depression...
Im BPD and its a b1tch its so obvious how im feeling my husband can tell just by the look on my face.
I would love to say it gets easier with age but girls im getting worse, i have stopped taking my meds as when i get lows i take all my meds in one go the whole box to try and pick me up, its not enough to kill you but enough to get you sky high for a while so i feel better with them not being in my house so i cant take them.
I work in a high pressure job and i am a blinding business woman i use my manic highs to an advantage so its not all bad.
My weight goes up and down all the time but i am trying now just to eat sensibly and try not to go to wild when im low and comfort eating.
Hope you girls figure it all out soon xx
I'm bipolar also and it is really difficult. I mainly find that when I get depressed or upset about something, I eat. I have a hard time coping with emotions. I get overwhelmed easily and food becomes the method in which I cope. I do find though, that seeing a psychiatrist and therapist helps and taking my psych meds helps.
Good luck.
I'm not bipolar, but have another disorder, and I hate how easily it shows. I wish my feelings weren't constantly on display for others.