Im at the heaviest weight Ive ever been
 

and it is really depressing:)
I have had depression for the past few years now and I am sure it is partly weight related. I also have had binge eating since about 13 and saw a counsellor for that about 6 times..it did help me, but then i had to stop going...last year I had kind of a nervous breakdown and started getting anxiety/panic and agoraphobia almost overnight...it has gotten better since then, but it is still here on a lower level and I am still hesitant to do alot of things and would rather just stay home. since the intense 'breakdown' of last year i have gained 40 pounds and am at my highest weight ever. i almost feel like its too much to lose at this point and have given up all weight loss efforts...but this time i feel i have to for a different reason, more for my anxiety and mental health more than appearance...I think it will really help in that area....Anyone with anxiety/panic/depression issues feel better with losing weight? Would love to hear from you...i lost about 50 pounds 5 years ago, then 30 but gained it back both times...again my heaviest was 220 before, now its 255 and i feel like i am a ****en time bomb ready to have a heart attack at any moment....but at the same time I dont really even care anymore, ive lost any motivation or hope I used to always have ...so again if anyone has had panic, anxiety issues and weight loss/routines/exercise/vitamins/eating plan has helped would love to hear from you...thanks for listening

Hello there. I hit my highest, and it was a rapid and intense gain...I was incredibly suicidal. I then lost a good chunk, to only rapidly regain. I am at my near wits end, so I can emphathize.

At times, and I'm sure this fueled my binges...I'd be eff it all, I'm eating whatever b/c i hate myself, and i'm ruined, and nothing matters....etc/etc. That and the self-hatred fuels compulsive over-eating. I mean, I wasn't enjoying the food, and eating till I was in real pain. It sucks, its a horrible cycle of self-abuse.

I'm a bit of a hypocrite (b/c i refuse to "allow" myself to see a therapist until I'm back at the weight I was the last time I saw her) but is there a chance you'd be willing to talk to someone? B/c I know that my depression and anxiety make it really hard to do the right things for myself, and its a hard hole to climb out of but definitely can be done. I am at least telling myself, it's something I'll have to eventually work on/etc.

As for plans, I'm not the best with advice. I feel that for me, and for a lot of people exercise is one of the best things to help sans medicine (which i have many mixed feelings about but know its something I'll need to most likely take again. they've helped in the past). Even if its just a walk around the block. Just taking small steps towards doing better things FOR yourself, you know its easy to lose basic self care when in the throes of depression/et all.

I struggle with agoraphobia and ptsd, so I know that's rough. It's made a lot worse b/c of my weight, in the past I could at least be "hey i'm thin, at least i have that" and was hyper obsessive re-appearance. Now that i gained, i let myself go (and it doesn't help none of my clothes fit, i have no money. yeah). Baby steps. It's NOT too much to lose, and what i'm trying to do right now is break it down into smaller amounts. 1st goal, -10. Its so overwhelming to look at the total. And every pound off, IS a step to better health.

My pm box is always open.

Layla -please don't give up on yourself!! So many of us here reached the point where you're at now -"I have too much to lose -what's the point?" mentality.
The fact that you reached out here is a great 1st step.

As Dissonance wisely posted -just try to get 10 lbs. off -don't concentrate on the total amount you want to lose. There are lots of diet plans and this website has a thread where you should research and decide what appeals to you.

Then, make a decision on when to start -get your supplies and begin. I know this sounds simple -but the 1st steps really are important. You may be pleasantly surprised that instead of feeling sad/depressed, you may find just the opposite when you start losing weight.

Just try not to overwhelm yourself with making so many changes at once that you give up - be realistic -you can always add exercise - or cut back on unhealthy food choices. And if 1 plan doesn't feel right for you -then try another. Make a commitment to join us in losing weight in order to FEEL BETTER (looking better will be the bonus) -because you're worth it!!

Good luck- L.

Hi dissonance and newbieblogger

dissonance, I also did not want to go see my eating therapist at one point because I had gained weight..She was in a hospital, in an eating disorders clinic and I would feel so embarrased in the waiting room because I was the only person I saw who was overweight..but thats not why i stopped going, it was the panic issue....I am now looking into therapy, on a waiting list...Its hard to find good psychological help ( when you cant afford it) Ive come to learn...Im not against meds, just wanting to try something new..Ive been on effexor a year and take the benzodiazepines as needed...In the very beginning I took some vitamins (B vitamins,magnesium,fish oils which are supposed to be beneficial for anxiety) But i think you should try and go see the therapist if she/he was helping you...i think that is the best thing to do to deal with all the issues...Im also going to try to set small goals like you 2 mentioned...we shall see...i am always free to chat too, still have to look around these boards more thorougly dissonance can I ask you was the agoraphobia triggered by your ptsd or was it something youve dealt with all your life and is it getting better? Mine right now is manageable, but I really hate going into walmart type places and I rarely go into shopping malls anymore..It just so effed up how practically overnight I get panicky going shopping

Hey LaylaSummer,

I have some similar mental health issues, and have always found that working out makes me feel better. My shrink told me to exercise 45 minutes a day, every day, to help me feel better. He said it doesn't really matter what I do, even walking at a snail's pace is good. I think it's helping. Any weight-loss benefits are just nice bonuses. Sometimes it's hard to get going, but I think it's always been worth it.

I find that sticking to a reasonable daily routine and trying to get enough sleep help too, although that's a bit harder for me to stick to. ;)

My shrink recommended a book that I think is helpful too, although I don't know if I can recommend it on the board. If you're intersted in the title, PM me.

:hug:

LaylaSummer, you are in my prayers!

I found tackling my sleep issues including sleep apnea ( love my mask and CPAP machine ) had a tremendous effect on my mental well being amongst other issues, nothing like actually waking up refreshed and ready to tackle a new day.

When I was exercising regularly, my depression and anxiety were barely noticeable. I felt GREAT. And then my frickin treadmill died. Now, I'm in the same boat you are as far as being the heaviest weight I've ever been. At last weigh-in at the doctor's, I weighed 365 pounds. :( I guess the best advice I could give you is think about something that motivates you. Print out your reasons for wanting to lose weight and put them where you exercise and on the fridge. When you want to give up, look at your reasons for losing weight. It helps.

Im new here and I also deal w depression and anxiety. Currently taking meds for both. I never thought Id say all that. Would like to offer any other info or advice if anyone needs it. Try to have a good day:)

Thanks for the advice and words.
Exercise-wise, I really have been aching to go swimming again, havent been in years
I am just gonna have to find an appropriate outfit :D

TheOx, for some reason I cant find where to pm you..Would like to know the name of that book if you can pm me or post

LaylaSummer, I can't get PMing to work either. I looked over the forum rules again, and I think it should be okay to post the title here. The book is Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns, MD

Hope this helps.

230 is about the heaviest I have ever been.. But I am only 5'2.5.. So that is big..214.4 is what I weigh now.. Getting better slowly.. Took a long time to get here. Guess it will take a long time to get it off.. Take care. Lanee..

Hi guys, getting better is very possible! :)

I once weighed 175 pounds, then went on metformin (medication) for PCOS, which made me lose 30 pounds. It felt really great being 150 pounds for the first time in forever! Buuut then I got extremely depressed, and also had an anxiety disorders. I stopped giving a poop about my weight and puffed up to 210. :( But a couple of months ago i've started to walk on my treadmill, and now i'm down to 200. I got better by taking antidepressants, so now i'm ready to tackle my weight again. Good luck! :)