October Chat ~ 2010
 

Wow it is quiet in the monthly chats here.... October thread anyone?

I've been really up and down... I'm trying not to be down. I have a new friend I can talk to about my Dad's illness so I'm hoping that will help there. Her Dad has the same thing so I think we'll be good for each other.

I think I've finally decided what I want to do with the rest of my life so that is a major up for me but makes me very nervous at the same time. How pathetic is this... I'm 34 and just deciding what I want to be when I grow up! After high school I went straight to work meaning to only take 1 year off... yeah, that trap. You know how it goes... Now I'm going to be an adult amoung a bunch of kids... I can only hope there's some older people there also. I unfortunately won't be able to start my upgrading courses until next August... hope I have the money and don't chicken out before then!

How is everyone else?

You say how pathetic is this, I say....Congratulations! on deciding what you want and making plans to go for it. I'll bet there are a bunch of 34 year olds out there who are faking their way through jobs they hate and don't have half the guts you do to actually go for something...you can do what you decide to do!

Don't feel bad...I am 36 and feel the same way. I got married during my "year off" and then...pregnant so...never really went. I went to a votech type school to get a decent job, but have always wanted to be a nurse. Three kids later it only seems harder. I say congrats and don't give up. You can do this!

Hey ladies...

I didn't want to start up my own woe is me thread so I thought I'd just post in the chat to say hello and such... I usually post in calorie counters and 20-somethings but I kind of felt like I needed to post here a bit just because I can no longer ignore that the depression I've dealt with on and off for 6 or so years is most definitely "on" at the moment.
It's causing me to be so incredibly tired and I find it hard to get my exercise in because I feel so lethargic and like I can't be bothered exercising. Sometimes even when I manage to start doing it, it just feels so much harder than it should.
I count calories so that side of things is good because it feels like it is one of the few things in my life at the moment I can control.
I feel stuck in my job at the moment. Even though it's only 3.5 days per week, I feel like it's sucking my creativity and energy out of me for the other days I don't work when I should be in my studio painting. I haven't been in my studio in 4 months and I miss it but I'm sort of scared to get back in there. I just wish I had a week with no work where I could sort myself out. But even if I had that I'm worried I'd just sleep.

Sorry to unload.

LoL - Thanks guys :hug: I'm nervous about going back to school. I know I'm going to feel like an old lady there. I got a bit of a boost a few days ago when my step daughter brought home a booklet from that school (they had a career day) and we were looking through programs when I pointed to the one I wanted and said "That's what I want to do..." she perked up and told me she thought it was great I was thinking of going back. It was nice.

Rainbow - Don't worry about unloading... that's what the thread is here for. When I don't feel like working out I tell myself I'm just going to work out for 10 minutes. At 10 minutes I'm starting to go hard and I want to keep going... if I'm really pissy I will stop at 10 minutes.. but that doesn't happen very often. Why are you scared about going back to the studio? It sounds like you have talent so go for it! I know... my job is sucking the life out of me too.. I absolutely loath it. That's why I'm planning on changing :) Maybe you need to shake things up.

Hey. I'm new. I've had a really good month, went to my psychiatrist expecting a great visit and found out my therapist (who has been wonderful for me) is leaving in November. Sigh. . . .

Hey Aunty Jam, thanks for starting the Oct. chat..and I say WOW and YOU GO, for going back to school!! that takes alot of courage, that is terrific! I'm really glad you found someone to commiserate with about your Dad's illness, that should help at least some I hope.

Hi to the new ones too :D I know you will find total acceptance here and it is a safe place for us to dump our woes :devil:

Karatemom, that is sucky that your trusted therapist will be leaving!

well I am pretty blah lately, not at my lowest but I am finding it impossible to feel happy, the most I can do is recite to myself 'what am I thankful for' to keep myself going. DH is slowly slowly healing after the m'cycle crash, I am the one who is wading through all the insurance and health care letters and forms and crap-ola. I still have no idea how much they will give me for my 4 year old, $12,000-when-new m'cycle. And no, I'm still not excited about getting something new, I'm still mourning my smashed and dead bike.

I make sure to take my med every night 'cause I can't afford to skip even one dose I think...I've been forcing myself to work out, and I have to dig out my Happy Light and blast myself with that too.

:hug: to everyone

Vermont, :) I do the same thing! I come up with a list of things I'm grateful for: I have all my limbs, etc. I hate being in that mode. Maybe you could make a little memorial to your bike? Did you get to keep a little piece off of it? Maybe have that part and picture and biker t-shirt framed behind it or something like that on the mantle. Make a little special place for it so you can see it and honor it. Just an idea.

I'm very busy this week. I work both jobs today and thursday and have an after work activity to attend wednesday night. I'll try to stop by if I can keep my eyes open.

Hello ladies,

I am new to 3FC. I trying to restart my life. I have decided to join weight watchers and I have my first meeting on Saturday. I also went to the doctor 5 weeks ago and was put on Zoloft and Xanex. The Zoloft seems to keep me centered but I have been eating everything in sight and had some headaches. My doctor had orginally said to stay on it for 6-8 weeks before switching but I am not sure about switching.

I realize that I have been depressed for most of my life. I have never really been happpy. I have had moments of bliss, however nothing lasting. My youngest son is 2 and after his birth I was extremly depressed to the point that I would not even go outside. I just hled my baby and cried. Somehow by the grace of God I made it though and since I was nursing I decided not to even think of taking any kind of meds. Last April, I began exercising and lost quite a bit of weight. I did feel better but something was still off. I tried herbal therapy and just trying to talk myself out of my moods. It did not work. So I seeked help and have been on the meds for 5 weeks now. I do feel better, not magically happy as I had hoped, but better. I do not think I am as hateful as I was and I do not seem to yell as much. I still have some temper and anxiety issues. The anxiety should be helped with the xanex and it does but it makes me sleepy.

The worst of my symptoms started since my stepsons began living with us, it really is to much for me. There grandmother had to be but on prozac when they were living full time with her and my husbands x-wife told me before we got married that my stepson was the reason she divorced him. I really am at a loss at what to do about my homelife. The thought of another divorce certainly depresses me more but I am not sure I can take the next 5 years with my step-kids(assuming they leave for college at 18).

Thank you for listening
amym

Hi Amy....

I have had major depression my whole life but wasn't diagnosed until after my kids were born. Those were some dark days so I can really relate.
Stick with the meds for a few weeks.....they will really help.

Hi Amy, and pamelasusan...Amy, I hope the meds help, and I hope for some divine intervention with the stepson! and hi pamelasusan :wave:

hopey, you are an :angel: I hope the people around you appreciate your depth of niceness!! anyone else by this time is wanting to tell me "GET OVER IT ALREADY, it was just a bike!!" but you suggest a memorial :hug: truthfully, I have hundreds of pics that DH has taken of me on her; and unfortunately the pieces I saved are pretty gruesome (no blood, just twisted and sheared metal - my license plate and holder; and one of my oh-so-kewl Kuryakin Zombie footpegs; they are freakishly heavy-duty but it is broken in half.

Anyway, thank you for your continued support :)

It is so hard for me to graciously keep doing the driving back and forth to get DH to work; it is 128 miles a day...plus today I had to drive to the next big town to register a used car, so add 50 miles to that...felt like I was in the freakin car all day. BUT all along I was saying "I'm so glad I have a car that is running" (and grateful to have limbs to operate the car :devil: ) and I am trying to get some big cleaning/decluttering projects done, but it is so hard to schedule it in between everything.

someone told me 'soon this will all just be a memory and you'll be saying I'm so glad it's over' - can't wait for that time!!

I had a horrible temper tantrum today...just stupid things kept happening to keep me from trying to clean a part of the bathroom...I lost my cool, and I kicked the bathroom garbage can into the corner, knocked a poor plant down, toppled some other things, let loose with some ripe four letter words...unfortunately younger son was downstairs and probably thinks I'm insane. And the dog was cowering from me, that sucks!!

Aw thanks Vermont... I really have to get out of my current position, I'm really not happy here or with where my life is right now. I always meant to go back... just didn't know what I wanted to do. Even now there's 3 ways I could go and I'm debating which one I want. They all have their good and bad points. I have a while to decide as long as I start with the upgrading year I'll be committed. OHhhhhh.. guess what. My happy daylight is broken! I actually got up to run in the morning yesterday and the stupid thing wouldn't stay on!!! I second the idea from Hope btw... it sounds like it was a nasty crash.

Hope - Don't forget to take care of yourself, you need your rest.

Amym - I don't have kids but I do have a stepdaughter who lives with us... feel free to tell us more.

I have some good news.... Hubby finally got a job! Today is his first day, cross your fingers for him.

Hello to everyone.

I thought I would tell you all a little about myself as by reading your post I feel as though I know you all some. I am 35 years old, with 6 children. 3 stepsons and 3 biological sons. I am married for the 2nd time for the past 4 years. My youngest is 2 and he is who I look to for most of my happiness, he has the best laugh in the world and for the most part is a happy child, despite the face that I cried constantly his first 6 weeks of life. I work full time as a social worker with abused and neglected children. So needless to say my work life adds to my depression. I do get a lot of satisfaction from the good we do but still somethings are hard to deal with.

For the most part this week has been great. I for the first time in awhile can not remember the last time I cried. I have gotten teary a couple of times but for me not crying is a big deal. I keep the majority of my issues in my head which is part of why I am so anxious all the time. I know I need to talk to my DH more, I am just afraid to lay everyting out there.

As for my stepsons, I am trying to be more patient. The oldest is spending more time with his mother, but their progress reports just came home and he did not do so well and I know his father will not let him go to his moms this weekend. Being a stepmother is the hardest job. You are not their mom, you are not their friend you are just there. I tried to be more a part of their lives when we first got married but now it is hopeless. I try to enforce rules and their mother doesn't. If I tell DH they dont do what I ask he just blows it off, he feels guilty about the time he did not get to spend with them when they were with their mom that he just wants them there no matter how they act. He does not even get that the person they spend the most time with is me and I cant get them to listen to anything. All they do is argue with me.

I have not told anyone I am not medication, I want to see if it works first. I think that is probably wrong but I dont want to be open with my issues just yet. Well I suppose I should amend that as I have told everyone who happens to read this.

amy

amy, thank you for letting us get to know you a bit :) I have alot of sympathy for you about the stepmom thing; I don't have that situation myself but it sounds very frustrating and maybe sad and probably infuriating at times. Your description of your 2 yr old is wonderful :) I know I am 'on the edge' of bad times when I cry at anything remotely frustrating. I hope that things get better for you soon :hug:

Aunty Jam - HOORAY and congrats on your hubster's job!! how did it go?

Hi to my other friends :wave:

okay, here is a pic of me and my bike at our group's Toy Run in August. I had so many kewl things on that bike, maybe they're not too noticable to the non-motorcyclist; but I will point out my oh-so-kewl radiator cover; it is that shiny lattice-looking rectangular piece right behind my front tire; it had a pattern of flames and a skull with crossed wrenches on it :devil:

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._7271082_n.jpg

Vermont- that is a kick-booty cover! Awesome, beautiful bike! I can see why she was special.

No time, gotta go to work.

Hi everybody, I've been reading but haven't had much time. Amy , I look forward to getting to know you. I'm glad you told us about yourself.

Aunty Jam, Yay for your hubby's job! I'm so happy for you.

I'm tired but did manage to cook a casserole to feed us for the next 2 nights after I got home from work. I have to work both jobs the next 2 days and we decided to try to stop eating out. I have to get stricter with my calories and working out. It's really hard if your tired or don't plan ahead.

thanks hope :)

yes I agree it is hard to eat right when you don't make plans and when you're tired! good for you for fixing 2 night's worth of supper.

I did accomplish something yesterday, I tackled the piles of forms that I had to submit for financial assistance for husband's hospital stay. I am pretty sure I did everything correctly (copies of tax return, pay stubs, bank statements, all that ) and a cover letter, which I hope correctly politely asked for help, but also said I would make payments for the rest of my life if needed :p

There is a def lack of communication from the insurance company regarding my bike...they sent forms, for me to sign over the title and ownership to them, but haven't told me a clue of how much they will give me for her?? that is not right in my book.

DH is still hurting all over, he says he's in 'agony'. I am an awful wife because there is only so much sympathy and fussing over that I can do. I realize I am having to deal with a temporary difficult time in life and I am failing I think, but I am keeping the house in order and doing my best. And today I go back to work for the yucky winter job.

I am still pretty blah about everything. It was a hard hit for me to enter this season with husband's accident. At least I've been working out each day for almost a week.

Hey everyone... guess what we got up here in Canuckville. Snow. Can you tell I'm thrilled? It's not supposed to stay but it's still a PITA. I hate the grey sky and the fact that everyone forgets how to drive during the first snow fall. Combine that with the construction in this city and everything moves at a snails pace and makes me late for work! To top it off my stupid daylight thing isn't working... gggrrrr... I'm going to take it apart as soon as I have time and see what I can do with it.

Amy - It's really hard to be a step parent when the other one doesn't support you. I don't know what I would do if my husband blew me off when I had problems with his daughter. For the most part she's a really good kid but they all have their issues. How old are your step sons? Can you sit your husband down and tell him how it affects you that he doesn't give support? The kids need to respect you as an adult even if you're not their Mom. Kudo's on your job, there is no way I could do that.

Vermont - Very, very nice bike. Is there any way you can make your husband understand you need to take care of yourself too? I know complaining wears thin after a while.

Hope - Thanks, it's ironic now that hubby really hates his job. Ha ha ha. That's my ironic laugh.

Hubby called me up to vent about how much he hated his job.. I said "Go ahead, I know what it's like to hate what you do and still have to do it every day...." He shut up right quick. This morning he said he was having a hard time getting up in the morning to go to "that" job. I told him with a smile I completely understood. I don't think he finds complaining to me to be very satisfying... I wonder why? Anyway, he has an interview for a better job on tuesday so he's going to have to play hookey. I really hope he gets it.

Aunty Jam, I'm with you, I've done many a job I've hated. You just have to suck it up and do what has to be done. Unfortunately I dont know many people who don't hate their job at least half of the time.

Vermont, I think they make paperwork like that so you'll give up. Such a pain. I'm sure you're exhausted and that's why you're running out of sympathy for your hubby. I can't believe you're still managing to work out.

I've got one more long day tomorrow. I leave at 8am and get home at 10:30pm. I did some training on computer software today and my brain is fried. I think I would learn faster if I wasn't so tired from the second job. I'm not complaining. Some people can't find a job and I have 2. I'm very lucky.

My workout plan is to workout at least 30 minutes every day that I'm off or just work one job. I need to start that this week.

Took some reading to catch up from a months worth of stuff...

Vermont-so so very sorry about your bike and your husband. My husband polishes his bike like every chance he gets and would be devastated if anything ever happened to it. I am sure its hard. I saw your post last month about people just letting you down...I TOTALLY get that. I have felt like that certain times and I dont think some people do it on purpose they just get wrapped up in life and dont bother looking around. It stinks because you are a person that looks around at others to see who needs help! Hope everything works out with the help for the hospital!

aunty- thats awesome your dh finally got a job!!! ya!!! You have been waiting for a while!!!

Hope-Looks like your keeping busy!!!! maybe that will help ward off the depression?

Hi to all the newbies!! I will try to write to know you!

So I am still only at like a 10lb weight loss. Getting ready to start up a facebook page for that. I just got back on facebook after being off for a month. I was a nice break to get things straight! I apparently need to be held accountable. Do a weekly weigh in and daily post excercise. I am trying to concentrate more on the eating because its not going to matter a lick if I over eat and excercise!! So I am going to work on getting that under control and then have some little daily things I can do differently to help me get movement in!! Well I could soo write more but its almost 3 am and I am BEAT!!! Plus its suppose to be 72 tomorrow so I need to be up early and get the boys school done so we can go out to the park and take fall pictures and gather some leaves to do some fall crafts!!
I need my sleep so I dont snap at my kiddos!!!

One funny lil thing from the day. My 7 yr old LOVES to help with laundry. Well I had him switch clothes over yesterday for me while I was getting ready for us to leave. He just put them into the dryer and turned them on. Well today I am taking the clothes out and all these dryer sheets keep coming out. I am like WHAT in the world. So I am mad because like its money being wasted. I yell for him I was like HOW MANY DID YOU PUT IN..As if he counted them as he put them in...Hes like i dont know. I was like YOU WASTED ALL THESE SHEETS...he sheepishly says well I just thought it would make the clothes smell really good...HOW can I be mad at that?? UGHH SO I calmed down and after I got done switching the laundry over I was washing I explained that the people who made the sheets made them to work for a whole load of laundry that we didnt have to put 15 plus dryer sheets in one load!! I counted 15 from one load there may be more inside the clothes...hahaha!!

Well everyone MAKE it a good day!!!!

Originally Posted by Aunty Jam:

Hope - Thanks, it's ironic now that hubby really hates his job. Ha ha ha. That's my ironic laugh.

:devil:

Originally Posted by Aunty Jam:
Hubby called me up to vent about how much he hated his job.. I said "Go ahead, I know what it's like to hate what you do and still have to do it every day...." He shut up right quick.

:devil: :rofl:

Originally Posted by Aunty Jam:
This morning he said he was having a hard time getting up in the morning to go to "that" job. I told him with a smile I completely understood. I don't think he finds complaining to me to be very satisfying... I wonder why?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

and sorry about the snow..we had a dusting but it didn't stick (except its still on the mountaintops) Yes, isnt' it crazy how people who live in a winter-cold-snow climate, forget how to drive in the first few inches of snow!

momof4 - HI!!! I was just thinking we should do a shout out to you :) thank you for the sympathy about my selfish self-centered friends :devil: I just have to accept it for now, but hey, I will think twice in the future if someone wants me to buy something from a home party or stuff like that, stuff I used to feel obligated to do because it was a 'friend'. That was So funny about your son using so many dryer sheets!! and good on you for taking a breath and realizing he was sincere and not trying to be wasteful. Bet those clothes smelled great :D

and yes, it is a hard fact that we have to really, limit what we eat to lose weight, besides work out . I forget the equation but its something like 80% food, 20% work out. I'd rather have it the other way around!!

hope - WOW that is a long day, 8 to 10:30!! And you are certainly 'counting your blessings' when you are thankful that you are working 2 jobs - with all your limbs, right :D thanks for the kudos on the working out...I have no exucses time-wise now with this new schedule, I work 11 am to 6 pm, so if I get up at 6, have coffee and computer time, I have at least an hour to devote to working out, plus do a few home things, so the place doesn't look TOO wrecked when I step in the door at 6:30.

and hello and :hug: to everyone else.

I've been doing a "Slim in Six" tape, got it for $1. it is standing aerobic work and she uses resistance bands for strength, but i dont have them so I use my hand weights. then some floor work, I can NOT finish the leg and butt part, it is hard! the whole workout is good, you sweat.

Vermont Mom- just be sure to make copies of everything you fill out and makes notes about when you send them in, that way you can keep track of everything. Get one of those accordian type folders and file everything in that, organization always helps. I think with your DH your patience has to be so thin right now, it is hard to continually support and care when you need to be taken care of too. Men especially make difficult patience.

Aunty Jam- Everyone hates theirjob, that is why they call it work. Thats what I tell my DH at least once a month...

Hope4me- I think preparation is the key, I always try to make extra for lunches or the next day, also casseroles and things freeze well, so you can always do that. Fast Food is the devil, yet I can not resist.

momof4- funny story, One day I was at the bank and there was an older gentlemen in front of me and he was telling the teller about his wife passing about a year ago and how he was now doing things he never thought he would do. He had 3, 3 separate dryer sheets stuck on the back of his shirt. He said the same thing your child said, he just thought more would be better.

Snow, I can not even imagine. I live in Tennessee and it is 81 right now, it is suppose to storm,side effects from the latest hurricane, but I hope it holds off tonight is my sons football game. Hopefully the last. I know it sounds bad to hope they dont keep winning I am just sooooooooooo over it..

I have 6 children. 3 step and 3 bioligical. My stepkids are 14,12,7 and my biological children are 12,10 and 2. I love my DH so much, he is a very kind man and very loving. He is good to the kids, but he is certainly not the discipilinarian he needs to be. I am just trying to cope with everything and practicing on trying to concentrate on certain things instead of worrying about everything. I easily get worked up, so I am trying to really keep the stress level down, If I could figure out how not to be an emotional eater I would do better.

This past weekend I started painting again. I use to paint all the time when I was yonger and in college and then when the kids came my hobbies and passions cease to exsist. I only painted a train picture for the 2 year olds room but it was something and made me feel good. so I am going to paint more.

I hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed day!!!!

Amym

Amym - it is really nice to be getting to know you :) I can't imagine a household with so many children :D or do 'his' kids sometimes stay at another household? I wish you all good things in dealing with the inevitable 'downs' with a blended family.

that is also funny about the gentleman with the dryer sheets stuck to his shirt :p

thanks for the tip about keeping track of files, letters and such. I'm glad that as soon as we got home from the hospital, I put all pieces of info in one folder..then as soon as I got to the store I bought individual folders for the 2 hospitals, the ambulance, the insurance co., and receipts. Also thanking goodness that I do have a laptop and printer for communication.

The inevitable happened this morning - husband and I had a horrible blow up. Yelling and cursing on his part, just tears and hurt on mine. He thinks that I think 'the world revolves around me' and that I find fault with everythng he does. Last night I did ask that he not say on our motorcycle forum, 'ride 'em if you got 'em' because frankly, I don't have one and I thought that was insensitive; and this morning he did something that caused the dog to jump and scratch me; and his 'sorry' sounded insincere and I said so.

I pointed out that I have been 'there' for him since 20 minutes after his accident. I am sorry I cant do anything to relieve his pain but I also have to maintain the house and work and everything. I know in my heart that I am still resentful that he wrecked my cycle; he took my cycle that morning because his was in the shop AND because he has neglected to care for 'his' car, he let it get past inspection date and just let it sit in the driveway, whereas I have to maintain 'my' car . But I also know that I did not deserve to be lashed out at like that this morning.

i should just accept that this is a crappy time in our life and we just have to get through it.

thanks chicks :hug:

Phew. Husband said he was very sorry about this morning's outburst.

My depression has been bad for the past few weeks, and it is just a sucky shame that it's happened at the same time DH is going through a tough time. He thought that my bad mood and attitude, and out-of-character alcohol drinking was because I was lashing out at him.

I think we're a little better now, for 'having it out'.

Mom, glad you came back. A son that likes to do laundry? Cool.

Amy, I'm glad you are here and sharing with us.

Vermont, I'm sorry you had such a crappy day but hopefully you feel like you got to get some things off your chest.

I want to say more to each of you but I'm just beat. I'm going to bed early and I can't wait.

(Wow, lots of good discussions... to bad I'm wrapped up in all my own carp right now).

Guess what... hubby quit his job. I'm not sure how I feel about that. On one hand I'm pissed and on the other I can't believe I'm rationalizing it. He didn't get along with anyone there... partly because of his attitude, partly because of what I heard, they were all idiots. I guess they didn't put in the alarms according to building code and when he questioned them they said "We don't worry about code, that's for the contractor to worry about". How can you not worry about code??? If your work is not up to code it is not good enough! They didn't really live up to their end of the bargin either, which was that he would end up office tech manager. They didn't give him any training and on his last day there instead of sending him out with the other guy they kept him in the shop, made him sweep and clean toilets. The guy who hired him was finally back in the office (he's been really sick) and he wasn't impressed with the manager who was making hubby do this. But the two talked and then nothing was said to my hubby so we don't know what went on there. It kind of seems to me like he was on his way out anyway but... holy freaking carp!!!!! He only lasted a week??!?!?!?!? I'm pissed. Now what do I do? I kind of thought if he quit I'd kick him out. Is that drastic? He has that interview today... he spoke with them on the phone yesterday and it sounded good but who knows. I can't survive on just my income either.

Also, I'm doubting myself about going back to school now. If you'll all excuse me... I'm just going to crawl under my desk.

Thanks for all the comments....I got to read most of everyones post last night but was too exhausted to post. We just got two new foster kids. After the last boy I had I said no more kids only teenagers...well they called tuesday about a 2 n 4 yr old. I was like ummmmmm I will have to pray about it and get back to you..they were like how soon can you get back to me? I was like ummm after lunch. Then I was like do you not have anywhere for them to go? shes like no. I said is there behavior issues? No its because of the parent. After much thought and prayer and talking with dh..we said ok well give it another try! Yes Yes that leaves me with a 2yr old, 3 yr old, 4 yr old, 4 yr old, 6 yr old, 7 yr old!! Yes Im crazy!! lol Well so far it hasnt been to bad. They are dolls. They came with tears in their eyes and scared to death! they really just need love and someone to care!! DEF. NOT like the last boy!! They are right now pushing their limits to see how far they can go. Its just making me keep on top of things. All the rooms are reorganized cause I had to move them around. I am going to have to start a hour by hour date book because they both get breathing treatments and my girls go to school in morning the boy goes to school in afternoon, visits twice a week....etc! anyways not a lot of time I need to get them finished with lunch and nap then work on the boys school work!! This may have been just what I needed to push me into being more organized. With this many kids YOU MUST be organized or you will want to just crawl in a whole and die!!! LOL
Have a great day all!

awww...Jam Please come out from under your desk!!! The sun will shine again!!!!

Mom, yes, you are crazy. A saint. But crazy.

Aunty Jam, I don't know the whole situation but I would be pissed too. One week? Come on. I hope he gets the other job. Very few families can live on one income.

Well, another day has passed and I didn't exercise and why did I bake brownies? Bad, bad decision. If I don't start working out I'm not going to be able to survive working 2 jobs. I'm already just worn out. This next week will be bad, four 14 hr days in a row and TOM will be here. I plan on taking over for satan that week. I'm sure I will put him to shame.

Ladies - I still read, I just have nothing to say. I miss you all. When I get my act together, I'll post.

Heather, I wondered if you ever peeked in. I get it, I've had to force myself to post lately too. I felt like I've had nothing to say as well. Same old crap and nothing interesting. Sometimes just nothing comes out.

As usual, I did fairly well with eating until tonight. I keep eating a huge dinner and then a hideously fattening dessert. Tonight I had gravy and biscuits, eggs and hashbrowns, followed by brownies. Moo. Did I mention no workout?

I am just soooo tired of the crappy eating yet I cant seem to get rid of it. I am really starting to think like Raven used to say..I am a sugar addict...I dont know if I can make a life commitment to no sugar but I know I gotta do something. I feel sooo sick and nasty after I eat the stuff...Wish I could just not eat for a while and break off any food addictions, shrink my stomach, and lose some weight...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT...
Hope-I sooooo feel the same!!!

I dont know what is going on but my hormones are a mess....since my period came early last time it should be coming soon....sigh..I busted out crying n yelling at my husband on the phone and all i have wanted to do all day is just bawl...because the kids are running around I have held it in.

We just got our food stamps and we NEED food in the house. If I don't go shopping all at once with a monthly menu then the money will be gone in no time and not have meals to last the month. The money has to be used wisely. Well now that I have 6 kids I WILL NOT put my self in the position to be stressed by taking them all grocery shopping esp a long trip. Well tonight I have a conference call at 7 for the concert we do. Dh gets home after 5 so that doesn't leave enough time then. The call goes till 7:45 so it is then bath time and bed time and my dh is sick. Tomorrow after dh gets home I have drama practice...wed is full with lessons, mtgs, and youth, Thursday he works 11-9 (leaves at 10 gets home at 10)...Friday he works the same..Saturday we have a seminar for our ministry license like 2 hours...SO my solution was to get my sis in law to come watch the kids at 3:30 n dh would be home in time for her to get her bf and then it would give me a few hours before the conference call. And my dh was like im not going to last long cause i dont feel well...perfect solution right??? Wrong I called him to tell him and he was like ERRRRRRR I really dont want her watching the kids...I was just like fine..and hung up. When he called back I just let lose. Cause he is the type if your not home in the time frame he gives you then hes just mean and nasty and then being with the kids and lord forbid he'd have to bath them or try and put them in bed....Plus I needed to get to a reg. store (not walmart) to buy the new kids some clothes they came with very little and most is too big...
Shutting up now...but crying on the inside! My stomach is completely ill I feel like barfing. Back to the house work!!

I'm either going insane or my post from yesterday has completely vanished. Either has a good possibility of being true.

Edit - Hahah... I'm going insane, just realized this is the October thread!