[HeatherAngel]

Oh Hope - if I get any fatter, that boat we're in will sink!

Okay, so school was awesome. I love my job. I ate well, but added some chocolate chip cookies in that student council brought for the staff. Homemade. Yum. Oops!

Off to hit the treadmill, even for half an hour. Have to start somewhere to build up again...

Hang tough, chicks! x

[wollygirl]

Mom - I celebrate every pound or even partial pound - it all makes a difference and is heading in the right direction. :-)

[Aunty Jam]

Argh!!! In such a funk and the scale is not moving the way it's supposed to! I really really wish I never had to deal with depression. It woudl be so nice. "Normal" people don't know how lucky they are. And to top it off I have cramps... do we have a scowling face?

[momof4under5]

OH MY GOSH...I about fell off the scale this morning!! So we went camping and even though we did a lot of activities that require excercise we ate a lil to much..only one day did I over stuff my self and had that yucky feeling. So when we got home I had gained 4 lbs. But I also didnt drink enough water while I was gone...so I got on today just to check it out... I LOST ANOTHER LB!!!...I lost the 4 i had gained from camping too . I have decided to walk down to the store like three blocks away instead of drive and walk the girls to school which is 2 blocks away. I figured I have to start somewhere and it saves me gas money!!

Other than that not much going on. I am thinking I will start blogging soon. I am really trying and feeling a push to be more organized and get more accomplished every day!! I need to do some painting and decorating because the kids doors are white and SOOOO dirty!!

aunty jam-sorry your still in a funk..I totally know what you mean with the driving thing I get very annoyed with people when driving! sorry bout your husband not getting the job....hopefully he can find something. I always said with my husband that if it was meant to be then it wouldnt have worked no matter how bad he wanted or needed it!! The right job is out there!!! IT JUST NEEDS TO HURRY UP!!!

wolly-thanks...i know I can lose it faster if I tried a little harder but right now I will take what I can get!!

heather-I agree sometimes we have to just DO IT....more than losing weight but to be healthy its good for our heart to have the excercise!!

hope- its sounds like your have a sugar addiction. The more you eat it the more you want it. Like the cravings get worse and you have to have it cause your body really liked it and demands more!!!!

So where did raven go?? she came back for a while then left!

Vermont-WHERE ARE YOU??? Were you camping too???

Sarah-Where did you go?? you hiding on us???

Buddly-WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU???? Havent seen you in a while!!!


Ok anyone else I missed COME BACK JUMP IN even if its just a hi!!

[hope4me]

Momof4, great job on the pound (again!)

Yeah, and where is everybody else?

[hope4me]

Hmmm, still nobody here. I started the day out well as usual and then began to overeat again after lunch. Last night I had to lye on 3 pillows to keep from getting sick from overeating. I hate myself for it needless to say. I have to stop.

[momof4under5]

I hear you hope..I just came thru that battle...It was a long one. I toward the end started fasting because not eating at all was the only way I could keep from eating. That was still hard but I couldnt just eat a small portion...I over at till I was sick and in the morning it was worse. I hope your able to get thru it soon not for the sake of losing weight but for your health and your emotions!

[momof4under5]

ps Thanks!!! lol

[HeatherAngel]

I'm around, just busy busy.

Hope - we've ALL been there. ((hug))

Is everyone else doing okay? I'm just a-ploddin' along. Git along, Heather!

[hope4me]

Thanks ladies. I know you all understand..

Yesterday it was slightly better. I ate a little less, still getting out of control here and there. I made myself workout- a slow 45 minutes on the ellipticle but it helped my stomach somewhat from feeling so stuffed. I need the workout to ease some of the stress I'm feeling from overeating and my interview on Tuesday. I wonder if the stress of the interview is causing me to sabotage myself. I feel like my entire self-worth is riding on me getting this job. It would completely change things for me financially. Say a prayer everybody, I really need this.

[Ravengirl]

Hi Everyone! I am off and on here but we are travelling...visiting family and relocating so things are going to be crazy for a while... I am hoping we will have everything settled down and in a routine by November. Right now, things are going okay eating wise...my Mom is a fabulous cook but it seems to balance out because I eat more on a 3 meal no snack schedule when I am here and she also has some sort of vegetable at every dinner which has been lacking when I am home. I have dealt with the depression thing and that made me lethargic and frankly things slid downhill from there as far as housework and everything, I am sure you can all relate to that. I have felt that my eating has been better since we left Hawaii... I feel so much better being back home...I think things will be better in our new place... My knee is still giving me some crap but it is slowly getting better. I can't work out or do yoga right now but I haven't had a binge since August and so I am definitely feeling good about that right now. Mom & I both bought a pair of those rocker shoes and I am wearing them part of the time...see if it makes any difference. I stepped on a scale in Bed, Bath, & Beyond with shoes and everything in the middle of the day after eating and everything and it said 184.5 so I am guessing possibly 178 or so...we will see when we get a home set up...I can start over and try again...

Gotta run...sorry for no personals...Hugs to you all!

~raven~

[buddly]

Hi everyone!
Sorry for being absent. I've been so up and down I really don't know where I am. Had to start back on the celexa as the feelings of doom hanging over my head started again. I should have expected it with the change of season.
I did my 4 week cpap trial. It worked for my obstructive sleep apnea but it aggravated the central sleep apnea. I don't know if it was the mask or what, but it would induce mild panic attacks. I sure wasn't getting a restful sleep. Anyway we are giving that a bit of a rest.
I'm leaving tomorrow for a week away. So looking forward to that. Hubby is working further north and the kids are all staying home. I'm hoping for some nice weather as the ocean will be close by. I just need to get away from everything for a bit.
When I get back I'm going to have to get serious about getting my youngest figured out. The neurologist called about her eeg results but I haven't managed to get in there yet. She had another seizure the other day and because this one came out of the blue she is now scared and finally agreeing to see docs. She is so stubborn and I can only fight with her so much and now she is pulling the "I'm 18 and you can't make me" crap. This last one was more like what the book describes as an epileptic seizure, so it will be nice to find out what is going on.

I'm so sorry to hear so many of you are having such a rough time. I sure can relate, but if we keep plodding on I'm sure it has to get better.

Hope you will be in my thoughts and prayers on Tuesday.

Mom keep it up, you are doing super.

aunty Jam good you had such a nice visit. Thats great news about your stepdaughter. My youngest is wanting to find a job as well. I hope your hubby finds one as well. Even part time will help a little with the finances and get him out there.

Heather yes a routine is a good thing, at least for me. I have a routine, but it isn't a good one!!

Hi Raven, Leenie, vermont and everyone else!!

I better get going here.

Take care everyone!
K

[momof4under5]

Sometimes its hard when you look at yourself and all you see is a mess!! That was me last night... Change is good but sometimes it just takes SOOO long and I want it to happen faster.
I have soo many faults and stuff I need to change. I have been getting areas in my home decluttered and organized because I am finding that is where a lot of my stress is from and then the depression starts. Even if it means getting rid of stuff. My mom has ocd and used to be like go put this back where you got it now but I totally understand now. My Ocd has gotten worse over the years and I am going to end up being like that. Nothing makes me madder than needing something and not being able to find it.

I soo need to be more patient with my kids..but its soo hard when they do things that make my regular work 2 or 3 times harder because they are goofing off. I get it their kids but its hard sometimes trying to remember that.

I had my teens over and they helped with some organizing and painting!

Ok well still a little down just thought I would drop a few lines...ill do personals later...

ps I just had a nice piano given to me!!! Its a GREAT stress reliever and now I can play all the time!!!

[hope4me]

Gosh I miss you guys.

I had my interview yesterday. I feel like it went well but it's always hard to tell. I was also invited to interview for another position there on friday as well. I pray that I get one of them. Please continue to pray for me till a decision is made.

I'm off today but I have pool tonight. I really need to clean the house some. I've really neglected it lately. I've been eating too much already so I have to get a really good workout in to counteract it somewhat and to relieve the stress I'm under with the job thing.

buddly, I'm glad you stopped in. I thought you may be struggling since you were away so long. A trip away sounds great. I hope you enjoy it and I hope you get to the bottom of your daughter's problems when you get back.

Raven, good to see you too. Hope you get settled in quickly and can hang out here more. Sounds like being home will be great for you.

Heather, Is getting back to a regular routine with school helping any? Being busy usually helps me b/c I can't graze all day like I'm in the process of doing today. Are you getting any workouts in?

Momof4, I'm with you, I think the clutter in my house is feeding my depression and my depression is feeding the clutter. I feel so guilty about it but find it hard to get the energy to change it. I wish I could afford a maid.

Everybody else???

[Aunty Jam]

Hi everyone... I've noticed a strange thing, when I get really really into a depression I don't come and post. Partly I guess because it's just to much effort and partly because it's just the same stuff.

I almost lost it on the step daughter last night, she was whinning about having to go to school then rush off to work right after. She told me how "lucky" I was that I only had to go to work (I would LOVE to be back in school). I had the hubby talk to her and tell her she wasn't as hard off as she thought she was and I was anything but lucky. He says I took the comment the wrong way but I was just so stressed. With him not working the added expenses of having his daughter is a lot of stress on me. I get paid very little and it hasn't been easy being the only one working then coming home to a very messy house and sometimes dinner is made and sometimes it isn't. Hubby is such a lazy arse I'd like to give him a good kick with my steel toe shoes on. Last night I was so emotional I ended up bawling while trying to run on the treadmill. Hubby heard me and came out of his office but I really wasn't in the mood for talking. He decided to put both his pool table and his boat up for sale (neither cost us much at all but are worth decent amounts). I think he should have put the boat up for sale a long time ago but I have mixed feelings about the pool table. We were lucky to get both of these and the chances we'll ever be able to afford them again are slim. He plays a lot of pool, even won trips to vegas to play in a tournament there.

There might be a light at the end of my tunnel though... this morning he was offered a 9 month contract that pays pretty well and has the option of 2-1 year extensions. The only problem is it doesn't start for another month... he says the table is still up for sale.

Hope - I can understand how you feel... I'll keep you in my prayers. Being employeed is a good thing.

Buddly - I didn't know there were different kinds of sleep apnea. I can't believe you daughter refused to see doctors! That would have been first on my list of things to do. Any results yet?