Hi all,

I'm new to this forum and I could really, really use some help/support right now. I'm 29 and in the middle of a painful divorce. I was depressed throughout our marriage and it's still quite bad. In an effort to reinvent myself, I've recently moved to southeastern China to fulfill my longtime goal of teaching overseas. I LOVE my job here, but the stress of it all just kills me -- dealing with a new culture, new language, new job, new climate, newly single state, painful lingering memories. I have lost a good deal of weight throughout the divorce, but now in China I am putting it right back on. I've gained 10 pounds since my arrival 2 months ago. Part of my problem is that I don't know what I'm eating (food is completely different here and totally unrecognizable) and part of it is that I spend a lot of time on my own...and I binge eat. It's getting dire. I go to some fairly extreme lengths to stop myself from binge eating (I chew gum obsessively, which only heightens my anxiety, and I nervously pick at my fingernails or scabs).

I need help. I need to get this under control. What you do to deal with anxiety and depression? I hate to think about my exhusband across the pacific ocean shaking his head and writing me off as a weak woman who can't survive without him. HELP!

Hi and welcome to the boards. I too am a binge eater and a fingernail biter.... I did start doing OA about 2 yrs ago and it helped a lot! I got a sponsor (I do the OA phone meetings 90 day) she gave me food plan and I really feel in control now. When my food is in order, everything is in order in my life. I can start living when I am not binging. You do need support though. If you go to oa . org there is a ton of info. Whatever plan you decide to do, I am sure you will find support, as you will on here!

Sheila

I found exercise is a good stress reliever. I do have to mention that you are going three of the top five stressors in a persons life. Your getting divorced, you changed jobs and you moved accross the world don't be too hard on yourself as just dealing with one of those issues is very stressful. I married and American an 11 hour drive away and was laid off my job all at once and it was very stressful and Canada is basically the same as the U.S but Idaho is basically the same is where i lived but things were very different in some ways. You are in another culture, that is big. Do you have any books you could read, might sound lame but books can take you away for a while. Can you talk on line to family or freinds?
You are not weak in any way, you are tremedously courageous for what you are doing, you are fufulling a goal you have, I bet lots of us can't even do that.
Wishing you the best and I will say a little prayer for you today!

I concur with the suggestions for exercise- it's excellent for helping with stress.

Also, one thing you might consider is that you're in a place where alternative medicine abounds (for helping with your anxiety and depression). I personally have used, and benefited from, acupuncture and Chinese herbs. I see a naturopath here in the US for my treatment, but I would imagine you might have access to some very good holistic or naturopath physicians in China.

Another area I would seek to work on is your social isolation. It doesn't sound like you have a support network built up yet. If you are having trouble making friends in China, I hope you are at least making every effort to stay in touch with friends and family back home? I have a lot of online friends and find that it helps me a lot as I don't have a lot of friends I can see nearby. And, if you're spiritual, you might seek out a place of worship there. Fellowship at a place of worship could be a step towards making friends.

Awesome suggestions, girls. It warmed my heart so much to know I'm not totally insane for having these struggles. I took your exercise suggestion to heart and took advantage of the warm day here (64F in December still!) and went for a walk around campus. I'll look into OA too, and I'm thinking oftrying to schedule regular massages for myself (spa treatments are quite inexpensive here). Thanks again for your suggestions!

I'd say you were doing extremely well! Divorce, new job and such a massive move amount to a massive amount of stress. Try to focus on positives like what you've achieved - big weight loss, great new job, courageous move to a new country - and congratulate yourself on that. you're definitely not weak!

I also think exercise is great for combating everything from stress, boredom eating and feeling down. Going for a good route march always gives me a bit of a natural high - and best of all I don't feel remotely hungry afterwards either. If you're lucky anough to have decent weather still (it's freezing ehre in the UK) then go for it.

Good luck with the new life/job - I'm rather envious as I've always wanted to go to China.

I know how it feels to move to another country and not know anyone! It is an amazing experience, but its also isolating. Try not to waste any time while there, alone and eating. Gather your energy and get out and explore. It is also automatic exercise.

Regarding calories and nutritional info, I'd probably do my own cooking - lots of rice/rice noodles, veggies, and a protein of sorts - tofu and fish. And seaweed is super healthy - a natural detox veggie.

Also, you should feel proud of yourself for taking such a risk, living an adventure, and being strong and independent.