atleast my weight is stay pretty steady and not just going back up to 240's...lol.
So once again tonight hes mad. So MONDAYS are horrible for me..I got the kids breakfast and putted around until about 11 or a lil before. I AM NOT A MORNING person...sooo...Im not really functioning fully till after 12 or 1. Anyways I took a thing called zantrax which help with energy and diet but dont have all the jittery nonfocus stuff....anyways got my shower then worked on some school stuff for the boys had everyone take a hour quiet time then got them up and kicked buttt. When I was all done everywhere was clean AND SWEPT (including steps) except for 1 outta 3 bathrooms wasnt done, my changing room didnt get picked up or swept (its not real bad) and the kitchen. I had all the laundry half way half washed and dried half waiting to be washed. Reheated some lasagna so it could be gone...so i told him on the phone that i didnt get to the dishes hes like oh ill do them thats ok. I was like your not gonna get frustrated he said no i can do them. He drags them out wonders around in the middle of them. WHY I DONT KNOW...lol. So then I needed to go practice drama with a friend from church for a womans retreat in sept. Well I left at 7:30 and we talked a lil to much but still got some practice in I left there at like 9:05 and had to stop and get milk because He wanted cookies for snack. So I got home at 9:30. Everyones upstairs so i go up and when I went in the room hes like family devotions are at 9 i said that the other night. I said and have we done them yet since them? NO..HIM "well either way my bed time is 9" Um didnt he just say devotions were at 9 so which was it. FOR CRYING OUT FLIPPING LOUD...I have a CURFEW? I wasnt out shopping, out to eat, out watching a movie, out visiting...I WAS PRACTICING DRAMA FOR A MINISTRY....EVERY SINGLE STINKING NIGHT ITS SOMETHING. I am starting to wonder like REALLY REALLY WONDER...I cant figure out tonight if I am angry or sad....I think its about time for a note because if I dont get this all laid out to him its gonna be a BIG BIG explosion and I really dont want them or want my kids to have to see one....but something needs to change...Like and I know today it wasnt me...BEFORE yeah I could think it was partly me that I didnt get something done and he had reason to be frustrated...BUT OH NO NOT TODAY... I asked him if he could switch the load over I had in the washer...yeah I can...DID HE NO NO NO...I was just like hmm... didnt say a word cause whatever its just laundry. AND if I hadnt stopped to get the milk HE wanted I woulda been home at like 9:15...Ok SO SO SO sorry i posted this here but I have NOONE I can confide in at the moment over this. The only friend I have that I trust with this stuff has toooo much going on...everyone else is super nice but dont know if they can keep their mouths shut and not something I want people talking about...sigh so once again I apologize...now I feel like bawling! I want to just lay on the couch and do NOTHING!!! NOTHING!!