Apathy and Depression
 

I was diagnosed in 1996 with Depression due to emotional severe stress incident.

I have been on Paxal since,,, every time I try to get off of it,, I spiral,,,
it seems to work, but then sometimes I think a am just pathetic for not being able to follow through,,,,

So now I am hooked on other things as well,,, pain killers, Oxycontin, allergy medications, puffers,,,,

I am a physical mess, and I believe it is because of inability to face the depression again,,,,

I want to start therapy, and work through this eating unhealthy, because I think many of the things that keep me depressed is my self image.

Some days I loathe myself so bad, I just want to scream,,, I self talk myself to bits, and sabotage any goodness I have for myself,,,

I promise to see a doctor ASAP.

This discussion for those who want to join in, will be on this journey,,,

I am new to this site, but not new to dieting, and and beating myself up,

:hug:

It's interesting how one source of depression feeds another, which feeds another, and another -- pretty soon, your life is like an avalanche of self-destructive events.

I know exactly how you feel. I've struggled with depression since I was 13 years old. I have my ups and downs, but lately, I've been on a down. The more downs you have, the harder it is to get up again.

Count me in on the discussion. I regained 10 pounds of the weight I lost a few years ago. I lost 2 now, but need to keep going... and depression is a huge binge trigger in and of itself.

We can get through it, though. :D Shoot... we're not dead yet. ;)

PS: :wel3fc:

Yes, you need to see a doctor ASAP. First of all, the Paxil isn't working for you. If it was you wouldn't have all these other things going on. I tried Paxil once and hated it, but then I know others who love it. You need to find something that works and get away from those other things. I don't have to tell you how unhealthy they are and could be contributing to the depression. So often the methods we use to escape depression (mine is alcohol) actually make it worse.

You need to get a handle on this before you start worrying about your weight. Once your head is in the right place, dieting becomes much easier and it's easier to be successful at it.

I don't want to be a nag, but in the last year my doc found the cocktail (not alcohol) that works for me and everything is improving. Please see someone who can help. It's not hopeless and I want to help.

Thanks everyone,,, This week has been a good week, I feel
a bit better after reading the many stories here. I have not started my journey yet, I am just packing for it, deciding what I need to take along and what I can do without,,,,

I LOVE that analogy!! Pack well. Try to leave the crap behind, you don't need it. I know it's not that simple, but it's a nice idea. Also try to remember that you can also repack along the way - leave things behind and pick up new things. Don't wait too long to get started. There's a lot to look forward to.