(previous posts from beginning of May)
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Good to hear from Leenie! Yes, having someone over definitely can speed up the picking-up process,, it makes me frantic!

Hope, it is not wrong to look forward to bed before 9 pm That dinner sounded good, was it a chicken breast you pounded, and stuffed, or a whole chicken?

I would say if you can go for that supervisor position, go for it (I'm one to talk, I love to get completely secure in something and never ever budge, lol)

I don't start the good summer job til day after tomorrow - Wednesday - so I still have 2 days of utter freedom but still in a good reorganizing mood!! I still haven't done the linen closet but I think (wish) it can be today. Yesterday was a small bookcase that the phone is on, and phone books in/around, and just lots of stuff (and dust) so I attacked that yesterday, and made room for our new copier to go on top, it looks much neater.

Also yesterday I 'made happen' something I've wanted for a while, and husband agreed, but he never took initiative..it's simple, just putting some shelves and hooks up in a spot that is not utilized ( we have a weird stairwell, it's walls to right and left and a wall straight ahead, as you're going downstairs) so there is shelves there now and hooks, and it's for my motorcycling stuff that was ALL OVER the place before. 2 helmets, many gloves, neckwarmers, rainsuits, chaps, textile jacket and leather jacket...all out of the way now

Hey, the bureau drawers that I emptied/tidied for DH's socks and stuff?? he still hasnt' mentioned it yet that's why I haven't done anything to his side of the room because years ago I completely tidied it, and he never said anything. Sheesh.

I think I'm also psyched because I have been eating so much better, and less, and the continued daily strength workouts, and walking some almost every day. And I'm down a couple pounds nothing like success to keep you going!!

Hey everyone... sorry for my absence, I seem to go in waves, sometimes I feel like posting, sometimes I just don't. My life is a lot like that also which makes me want to bang my head against my desk. Why can't I just be normal... it would be so nice.

Hi Hope... Go for the job, easy is boring isn't it?
Vermont - Ick ick ick!!! It's supposed to snow here tomorrow, un-freaking-believeable, oh no wait... I'm forgetting I live in Canada.
Mom - I know you love the kids but at some point I think you have to stop and take care of yourself first. You're doing too much.

Hubby isn't cleaning the house, but he spent a large part of the weekend working on his boat. The house is completely gross and it puts me in a bad mood. I did some but I really don't feel that I should have to since I'm the one working full time. He never does stuff like cleaning the floors, which is a really big job, the upstairs is almost entirely hardwood and lino. If I bring any of this up he has a fit, gets all moody and we end up yelling at each other. We're really trying to avoid this since his daughter moved in but that's another stress on the house and the lack of money. She is a sweet kid and I'm glad she felt she could come to us when things got bad at her Mom's. But between having her there and all of our debt I'm feeling a little trapped. There really is no way out anymore if I wanted it, I'm at my wits end.

And I think the end is coming soon for our old dog She keeps pooping everywhere and falling down the stairs. So far she hasn't hurt herself but I'm not sure if we want to let it get that far. She's the one in front of my avatar, a Siberian Husky, Dalmation + a multitude of small dogs cross. Her name is Kelly, she's 14.5, her temperment is marshmellow soft and she's a big sweetheart. My first agility dog. She goes outside, comes in a few minutes later, then wants out again in 5 minutes. She's so senile and mostly deaf, doesn't hear the food hit her dish anymore. Chase is like her hearing/seeing eye dog, he rounds her up if she's going the wrong way at the off leash area and alerts her to stuff she doesn't hear anymore, like the food or a stranger at the door.

Can't stay long...

Vermont, they were boneless, skinless chicken breasts that I stuffed. I'm so jealous of all the organizing. That's what I need to do after my class is over next monday.

Aunty Jam, if you were normal you wouldn't fit in here! I go through times where I don't post either. I'm trying to make myself but I'm mostly out of things to say about my exciting life. It's the same stuff over and over. Sorry your hubby is laying down on the job with the housework. A messy house makes me depressed as well.

I'm having a late b-day lunch tomorrow with a friend at Cheesecake Factory. I just googled their calories and ! I knew it was bad but holy cannoli. I plan on going the salad route or maybe the lettuce wraps. Even the lettuce wraps came in at over 1000 cal but I'm sure they are counting consuming the three sauces in their entirety which I don't plan to do. I don't feel the need to go overboard for some reason, at least I don't tonight.

I was watching Biggest Loser tonight and for the first time kinda got inspired to win the BL contest I'm in at work. I've always said that I just wanted to still be OP at the end of the 6 months b/c I knew that would mean I'm well on my down but I think I could actually take the $400 pot. There's only a couple of people who have lost b/w 20-30 lbs like I have and my starting weight was a good 50-100 lbs less than theirs so my percentage should be as good or better than theirs. I sure could use $400. I'm just a little worried that changing my mindset about this weight loss and pressuring myself could backfire and make me quit. I'm not sure, I'll have to think about it. I would be kinda cool though...

so i drug myself here kicking and screaming...depressed or something...missed a lot of medicine again...but once again I am not all snappy just sleepy...house frustrating me, clothes piled everywhere in changing room killing me (got thru the girls summer clothes and that didnt even make a dent) my wieght is AWFUL...i want to just bawl I went camping over the weekend and walked all over trails and drank tons of water and i for the first time ever in my life went over 240lbs. Last summer I was like at 228 the summer before that i was at 215 ....so i quit soda and excercised yesterday..wrote out a chart to try and help me keep track of the days without soda, days drinking water, weight, excercise...STILL sick with whatever this is and my eye is all red have no clue what is the matter...the meds called magic swizzle is some mouth wash you gargle then swallow and it makes you gag and your mouth to go numb...ugh...
i feel sooooo flipping lazy and not on top of things...I have so many appts i need to make and calls to make, letters to send out, bills to pay...and yet I DONT DO THEM....yet i tackle all theses tasks and it still seems like ive done NOTHING
So sick and discusted with myself...ewww im really hating myself and wishing I could just crawl in a hole and hide...
it was soo nice out today and what did i do go back to bed and did nothing. Last spring I was taking the kids to the park bout every day and doing stuff with them...I am such a crappy mom that cant get herself together enough to teach her kids how to get out an enjoy life..

ok i will stop because I am sure you all have your little violins out cause everyone has issues who wants to listen to mine!!

Have a GREAT week....

momof4, you are NOT a crappy mom!! and yes we care and want to hear. I dont' have any suggestions except to hang in there and know that you are not alone in your frustrations...

auntyjam, about your dear doggie. such a hard thing!! we were mercifully spared, our 12 yr old Husky/shepherd died unexpectedly of something heart or stroke related..I can only send love towards a fellow dog lover

hope, hi is it your, or your friend's b-day today? good luck at the lunch, I know you'll do well
hi to everyone else

good evening chicks

well I came home from work today and found the house a flippin mess! and the ONLY thing I want for Mother's Day is to have a clean living room, that maybe I didn't have to do myself. But I guess that is insane to hope for! So while the 3 messmakers were out, I picked up bigtime, cleaned up the kitchen, and vacuumed this place. Hopefully it will stay OK for 16 hours

I was SO mad...after I cleaned up, instead of just sitting and enjoying the quiet and the clean, I put on my gear and went for a 3.2 mile walk!! I told myself I was walking away from home, instead of running away from home It took over 2 miles and over half an hour before my steamed up head started to cool.

So now I am in a better mood I have been enjoying being back at my summer job so much. The place doesn't officially open until Wednesday but I have been in each day since this Wednesday to do prep work. Just me and my chef boss, we get along pretty well. We can either joke or talk about mundane things, or just have a comfortable silence.

haven't been on the motorcycle for a few days, too much rain..and today it didn't get over 45 degrees. Where did our warmth go?

well...thinking about everyone here and hope you're doing OK! or even better!

Can't stay but and . Hope things get better for you all.

Studying all day and just want to run and hide... Can't wait till tomorrow's test is over...


Happy Mother's Day!!

I wish you all the best Mom of 4 under 5. It is great you are coming here for support. It is baby steps that will get us though our journey. I found the website * really helpful in getting my home under control. Sometimes forcing yourself to take on little baby steps helps propel you to take the next step. I know you can do it, we all can. So I am going to take my own advise now and go for a walk.
Take Care
Frankie
* I am too new to post links... so google "flylady baby steps" and go to the beginner baby steps. Good Luck. (FLY stands for Finally Loving Yourself)

How did the test go, hope??? Hoping you feel you aced it

It's over!! And I have a 96 average!!

I could not be happier that it's done. I had sort of a melt down today. There was so much material to learn, it was just crazy. I kinda freaked a little under the stress and had to walk away from the table where I was studying. I turned on the tv and Ruby was on. If you don't know it's a reality show about a woman who had been over 700lbs who is losing weight. She and some overweight friends went to a week's therapy session working on getting to the root of why they had gained weight in the first place. Now normally this wouldn't have had much effect on me but I ended up crying right along with them as they relived their stories. I was thinking all kinds of negative crazy things that I'll not rehash. I'm sure you can figure out most of them. I was feeling like a complete failure in life b/c I didn't know all of the material for the test. WTF?

I was so stressed and upset that I actually made myself a margarita when I got home to try to calm down. I'm not one to use alcohol in that way, I would much rather overeat. I think I'm just now getting over it. Anyway, I'm glad it's over. I had thought about calling out of work tomorrow and just taking it easy. I doubt I will now but it was a nice thought.

Vermont, did you end up enjoying Mother's Day despite cleaning the house yourself?

hopeforme - a 96 average?!? I guess you really were hitting the I'm so glad it's over for you, but I'm sad that you had a hard time there. Why do things overwhelm us sometimes, and other times it's not even a problem. I have been there with the flow of undesirable thoughts..and I'm so glad you seem good now

Oh and yes I did enjoy Mother's Day once i got the living room cleaned up, lol. DH made a big delicious breakfast, and then we had an early dinner of roast pork. I got over my 'why is it always me that has to clean' attitude

hello to everyone else too!!

Mom - I think you take on to much plain and simple, you're a wonderful, loving person but you're not taking care of yourself. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. You're running yourself ragged and it's not good for any of you.

Ok... of my soap box.

Hope - 96% is amazing... congrats!!! The house will be cleaner tonight... it's my stepdaughters bday so we're having family over.. she and hubby were cleaning last night and again today... hahahahhaha!!!!! Yes!

Vermont - Thanks for the doggy support A few nights ago she pooped on our bed! It wasn't nasty or anything but it's at the top of the list of places in the house I don't want her to poop! It was on the warmest winter blanket I have too (I get cold at night), it has to be taken to a laundrymat because our machine is to small. Everytime she's laying very still somewhere and not responding I always hope she's died in her sleep, not that I want her to go, heaven forbid!!! Just that's how I want it to happen At home... on her comfy pillow or in front of the door (she always gets hit by the door... WHY does she still lay there!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?! Yeesh!) and not in a vets office where she shakes uncontrollably, so scared Stupid dog... why does she have to be so good and why do I have to love her so much?

Edit - Did you know dogs can't have a stroke? Look up Circle of Willis in dogs, my vet told me about it.