Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 10-15-2009, 10:14 PM   #1  
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Default And they wonder why I'm depressed!

I have a wonderful life, but it gets so stressfull sometimes!

As I mentioned in my last post, I do have a boyfriend, and he is very, and I mean VERY unsupportive.

I told him I lost weight(Cause I did) and he got PISSED OFF and tried to feed me freakin' cake!

Then, after I lost weight, they got on me about not loosing enough!

I have school, a job, quiz bowl, my boyfriend, and house hold chores....

When in the world am I supposed to have me time?
I get myself so depressed, because...I know I should be, but I'm not happy.
I just want to be happy again, and...Nothing is helping. I try to remember I have a boyfriend...I try to remember I have a loving family but....ugh.

I know this really doesn't have anything to do with weight but....sometimes this is all I have.

Thanks for reading..
-Autumn
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Old 10-16-2009, 12:10 PM   #2  
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Originally Posted by AutumnArsenicx3 View Post
As I mentioned in my last post, I do have a boyfriend, and he is very, and I mean VERY unsupportive.
Sounds like you need to fill your life with supportive people that will lift you instead of putting you down. There are plenty of fish in the sea.


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Old 10-16-2009, 12:37 PM   #3  
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Smile I understand what you are saying,

What I have to say, I am saying from experience, okay? I don't want to hurt your feelings, that is not my intention, I am just going to give you a little wisdom.
First off, stop saying you are depressed and stressed. Start saying, I am happy and content and peaceful.
Secondly, No one can "make" you eat anything, and it is nobody's business if you lose weight or if people don't think you have lost enough. Don't worry what other people think, what matters is what YOU think and what God thinks.
Yes, it would be nice to have the support of your close people in your life, but if they are not supportive, we are.
Thirdly, if the guy you are with is dragging you down, let him know what is bothering you, or YOU DECIDE what you are going to do. You have the right to make good Godly decisions for your life. I for one, do not associate with people that strive with me or try to make me feel bad. I pray for them and I forgive them, but I will not be a doormat or invite people to emotionally, verbally or physically abuse me.
Fourthly, I don't know what your relationship with God is, but He loves you and wants to fellowship with you. Jesus died for us to reestablish our relationship with God and to mend that.
He is there for you.
Fifthly, sometimes we take on more responsibility that we can handle without being stressed, so maybe you could reevaluate your responsibilities and cut out things you don't really enjoy or that are not beneficial to you, and keep what is most important...Prioritize. Sometimes it is very important to just say "NO".
Sixthly, we need to do things that we enjoy for ourselves from time to time. I like to walk, read, go to the store, maybe buy a little something for myself, take a nap...etc... you have things you like to do, find something that brings you peace and joy, even if it's just watching a good movie on tv.
Seventh, Be well balanced in every area. Balance is key to peace and joy.
Eighth, specifically for depression, exercise is a natural anti depressant. Find something you enjoy. I walk, well, I stroll, because some people might think I don't walk fast enough to do my body good, but I enjoy it, and it does me soooo much good emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I sleep better and feel energized. Some people like a group setting so they go to a gym. Other people like to run or bike ride and some people like an exercise video or treadmill.
Just find something you like and do it. Even if it's just a little every day.
Ninth, You will find, just being positive will help alot. Attitude is important.
I hope all this helps you. Like I said, I know from experience, and these things help me tremendously.
Tenth, Good healthy foods that God Created are good for helping one to feel better. I don't know what you are like, but for me, I find that if I eat too much sugar, I start to feel ick...but if I eat fruits and vegies and a well balanced meal, I feel way better than if I eat unhealthy foods. I still have an "occasional" treat, but most of the time, when I eat, I try to make sure it's a well balanced meal.
I hope you feel better and understand that we here in this thread do understand that it is not fun to feel bad.
I know you are young, but if you learn these things now, it will HELP YOU SOOOO MUCH now and in your future.
Take Care and if you need a friend, I am here for you. You can pm me anytime!

Last edited by Ryanne; 10-16-2009 at 01:01 PM.
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Old 10-16-2009, 01:24 PM   #4  
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Autumn, maybe I'm wrong, but didn't you post earlier that your boyfriend used to be heavier and is now slim? Maybe ask him why he needs you to be fat, when you're unhappy with it. He needs to look at his own issues, and then learn to accept your feelings.

My feeling is that the strength to make it through the tough times is from inside us - whether that's God, or something else. YOU have it in you to find your peace - in whatever way works for you.

Also, remember that you're young...and I don't mean that in a patronising way, at all. It's kind of like a rite of passage to struggle through those years. I think, mentally, I'm always going to be around 17-18....but the awfulness of those years goes away, and you start to find who you are in amongst all the other stuff.

You don't have a job and a boyfriend and chores...those are just roles you accept in life. They're not what make you you, so try not to give them more power than they deserve. They're just facets of what makes you you, and if one of them isn't working, then find a way to make it work for you - or cut it out of your life. I know that's easier said than done as a teenager, but even just mentally choosing how you accept something will help make it more bearable. Nothing is being done TO you - you're choosing to accept certain roles.... for now. One of my friends often says, "This, too, shall pass", and it always does.

Take back the power. It's right there for you to take. Decide to do things, rather than have them done to you. When things get rough remember, "I am woman - hear me roar".

Last edited by Havisham; 10-16-2009 at 01:25 PM.
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Old 10-16-2009, 01:35 PM   #5  
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Well said, Havisham
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Old 10-20-2009, 07:32 AM   #6  
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I'm sorry but I have to strongly disagree with this statement:
"First off, stop saying you are depressed and stressed. Start saying, I am happy and content and peaceful."

Don't try and bury what's making you depressed and force a positive attitude when you don't have cause for it. I am certainly in no position to tell you what you should or should not do, my only suggestions for you are to look at your life and try to find what's missing or see what is making you depressed. There is nothing wrong with being depressed, I think it's a part of life, most of us certainly have ample cause for it, even if there are positives to our lives too - and in fact being depressed about some things doesn't mean anything negative about the things we love in our life.

I wanted to comment on your relationship but then I thought...it isn't my place. Just remember, you need to be you. At all costs. And everyone who loves you needs to love and accept you for that.
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Old 10-20-2009, 11:33 AM   #7  
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Sounds to me like you'd better off without him. i hate to sound mean but that is how you story comes across.
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Old 10-21-2009, 11:39 PM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SugarSpunSister View Post
I'm sorry but I have to strongly disagree with this statement:
"First off, stop saying you are depressed and stressed. Start saying, I am happy and content and peaceful."

Don't try and bury what's making you depressed and force a positive attitude when you don't have cause for it. I am certainly in no position to tell you what you should or should not do, my only suggestions for you are to look at your life and try to find what's missing or see what is making you depressed. There is nothing wrong with being depressed, I think it's a part of life, most of us certainly have ample cause for it, even if there are positives to our lives too - and in fact being depressed about some things doesn't mean anything negative about the things we love in our life.
I agree. Do not bury it. It will get worse if you do. Find what's causing it and fix it. It's not easy- i've been trying for years. BUT everytime i find something and conquer it, i'm a little bit happier than before.
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Old 10-22-2009, 01:08 AM   #9  
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Previous posters hit the nail on the head. Not only is it unhealthy and downright silly to tell yourself not to feel a certain way, it doesn't work.

I suffered from depression and anxiety attacks for years, I still do at times, and everything from therapy to medication to a strong support system couldn't hold me up when I hit rock bottom. If I could've simply told myself "I am happy and content and peaceful" and made everything better, I wouldn't have suffered so much.
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Old 10-22-2009, 01:27 AM   #10  
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I used to suffer from depression and anxiety but I sought counseling and never regretted that choice. I wished I would have done it sooner, actually.

Now, I am at that point in my life where I'm not going to bend over backwards to please anyone, especially in close relationships. There is a sense of freedom with letting those old notions go and you, also, have to MAKE time for yourself. Speak up and tell your boyfriend he needs to pitch in with chores. For the longest time, I put all that on my back while my husband watched TV. You have to have some downtime to recharge your batteries. What isn't a priority in reaching your goals needs to be deleted from your agenda.

One day, you'll finish school and look back and wonder how you did it.... Because, by then, you will have moved on to something else that fills in that time gap (like children).

Last edited by chubby; 10-22-2009 at 01:28 AM.
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Old 10-22-2009, 03:11 AM   #11  
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I believe what ryanne was trying to say is the power of life and death is in your tongue...just as people can constantly say things to you (just as they are now) about your not losing enough your not doing this..etc...and that is breaking down things inside you so if your constantly saying your stressed and depressed your breaking down any steps you have made towards not being stressed or depressed..I am sure she did not mean to hide it. It is true that you can chose your attitude...If you allow things in your life to always affect how you feel then your going to be miserable all the time. Yes there are BIG things in your life that are going to cause you to trip once in a while but changing the way you think on a daily basis can truly help you to feel better. Sometimes its a mind over matter. Yes depression is a real thing and one of the biggest things that cause us to feel down and crappy is affected by the food we eat. Watching the biggest loser on the week they had to eat out. They all still chose healthy things to eat but they werent the organic things they had ate the other weeks and they said they didnt feel as energized with the "healthy" food as they did with the organic and food they prepared themselves.
I get up every day and I have 5 children 15yr old, 6 yr old, 5 yr old, 3 yr old, 2 yr old. and I home school the 5 and 6. My husband and I are also youth pastors, I direct the drama team, and teach a childrens church class..so I have a very "stressful" life...but I have learned that I have to chose not to allow it to stress me...I need to enjoy it or i will be "stressed" all my life. People go thru things and we all have SOOOO much stuff on our plate that we need to learn to be happy and look at the positive things in life. If I think about all the poopy diapers I have to change a day...yeah I would wanna stay in bed...FOR REAL...but I have to look at all the beautiful smiles and the hugs and kisses I get and that makes me want to get up and be with them. So in the same way you look at the crappy stuff you have to do with a job but look at the money you get and that you cant sit at home and say your bored with nothing to do...school yeah the tests and the work stinks but the friends you make and the time you get to be with them is always a plus..and the education you learned from school helps you to be able to do your job right!!! Ok yeah I know I am sooo pushing it about school but try to look at the positive things...Yes depression may take time to go away and may take help, excercise, meds whatever but if you try to be positive it wont seem as bad!!!

If you need anything PM me anytime!!!
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Old 10-22-2009, 03:31 AM   #12  
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I think there are times that require digging and thought. However, for me I reached a point I had to "fake it until I make it." I stayed depressed for years trying to dig up what was ailing me--although I pretty well knew from the beginning. Finally, I decided to live the way "I thought" healthy and happy people lived--and tried to pattern my life after those that seemed to have it together better than I did. So, I began changing my eating patterns, changing the way I dressed and groomed myself, started taking care of my home each morning and getting some exercise each day. Guess what? Most days it works!

I know why I am sad on certain days. To me, everyone has their own story--the own plight to manage. How we react to that plight IS up to us!

People and situations are always in the garden of life. You must select which ones are weeds and get them out of the garden as quickly as possible.

Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 10-22-2009 at 03:33 AM.
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