I feel pretty alone when it comes to being able to confide and share my feelings with friends or family. Over two years ago, I confided to my mom that I thought my marriage was in big trouble; and then when I was given the prescription for antidepressants and I shared my feelings about how upset I was about that, she started talking about the problems she was having.

The one time I told a close friend that I had suicidal feelings, but was afraid to tell anyone previously, she just about took my head off in chastising me. It made me resolve to stay away from her with my problems.

My husband has a very hard time with telling me what i want to hear What I want is to have him ask me maybe on a weekly basis or so, 'so how are you doing'? to let me know that he acknowledges that there are times that I can't control my negative feelings and that I want some extra attention.

I went to a therapist once, and even though I cried the entire hour, it felt so good to be able to tell an inpartial, trained person what I felt. What kept me from continuing to see him was that it would cost me over $100 a session; we have a huge deductible so it would be cost prohibitive.

gosh, just talking here helps.

A therapist is your best bet, so it's sad that you're not able to afford it Maybe there's someone you can see who charges less? I dunno, it's something to look in to.

I personally am very good at confiding in people. I'll talk to several people about something to see what their responses are. Right now, I mostly talk to my mom and my boyfriend. My boyfriend is usually the best bet for making me feel better. He's incredibly reassuring and unlike my mother he's not exactly obligated to stick by me even through the tough times. He's with me because he wants to be, and tells me that time and time again. It's incredibly sweet and my recovery has gone much better since he came into my life.

I hope you can find someone with whom you can confide... Whether it's a therapist or a friend who is very able to listen rather than tell you what to do or what they would do, talking to someone is a great way to feel better.

I know for me its my therapist. I talk to one of my close friends but she has a lot on her plate so I'm usually supporting her when we talk.

My therapist works through a non-profit and is on a sliding scale, I don't know but maybe there is something like that near you.
I know its worth looking, I had a much harder times staying stable and functional before I had a good therapist.
*Good luck and big hugs*

I don't know about where you are, but where I am we have anonymous call centers we can call to talk that are free and run by volunteers. I have never tried that...but might be worth seeing if any are in your area.

I have a lot of difficulty talking to people. I find difficulty in admitting I am depressed. Rather than talking, sometimes I find solice in sitting down and writing a letter or email, but not actually sending it. That way I kinda work things out in my mind but don't have to face any critisizm or chastise...and it is free to boot Might be worth a try??

There's a really good website www.marriagebuilders.com where you can vent and get advice about your marriage issues. Go to the forum there. It's really great.

I think lots of people get caught up in their own problems to look beyong themselves to someone else. But still...a mom should always put her kids first. I'm sorry she didnt listen and give you the support you needed.

I do hope that she found someone to talk to after that, though.

Yeah, I dont like to talk to friends either. I dont think anyone would get mad at me (I dont have suicicidal thoughts) but I think it frustrates others because they dont know what to do to help. Maybe getting angry is the best way to try and change your mind?

I dont know. I've spent many years depressed but i've come to understand that the other people in my life want to help but dont know how. Many times, they go about it the wrong way. Other times they are too caught up in their own life to devote the energy it takes to lend a shoulder when I need it.

Good! I think talking to strangers is easier than talking to family and friends. Family and friends tend to put you up on a pedestal so its not always easy to let them know that you are hurting and cannot cope. I am fine in the spring and summer time and its so frustrating to feel this way all winter long and I hate having to explain. I dont know about you, but I am embarrassed of being depressed, even though I know its not my fault. It makes me feel abnormal, ya know?

Thank you everyone for your input! I have thought about writing down how I feel, and keeping it in a private folder or just deleting afterwards.

thanks for the suggestion of that forum, I will visit there.

I know depression is not my fault, not a character weakness, and is quite common, but I also feel ashamed of it, and very few people around me know it.

thanks again very much, it is good to know there are people who care

Vermontchick,

I belong to another forum just for people with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, etc. Trust me, I can vent anything there. The people are so supportive and friendly. If you are interested, I would be happy to give you the link, just PM me.

Also something you might wanna check into. Call your local United Way or someplace like that (even a local hospital). Many larger cities have free support groups for people with anxiety, depression, etc. A lot meet like once a week or once every two weeks. Good luck.

I like these types of forums. It's anonymous, and no one seems to judge. I find great support here, and have never had anyone chastise me because I was depressed, suicidal, or even because I ate too many cookies last night. I'm sorry your mom wasn't more receptive, but like the others have said, most people don't know what to say or how to act when someone with depression is going through a rough spot. Unfortunately, for those that don't understand the disease, they seem to expect that we can just "snap out of it," when in reality it's just not that easy. Keep checking in here, or go to the other forum that bassetbabe mentioned. Also, check with your local YWCA. They often have counselors that you can talk to, too.

Take care.

Holly
I'm sorry you don't feel you can confide in anyone. I use my therapist for some things and have a few friends for others. I find I keep more to myself now about problems.
If you feel ok with it you can definately use this place.
I do remember when I did not have insurance - there was a program at the local hospital where I had weekly - or bi-weekly "meetings" with a social worker. I remember she was very nice and helpful and I looked forward to it. You may want to check with the Social Services office of your local hospital to see if they have anything available.

Hugs

Another thing you might do is go to the library and read books on building self esteem. It is my thought that low self esteem is at the base of much depression.
Would joining a religious organization be out of the question? There are groups that are less fundatmental than others, depending on your preference/needs. The point is that sometimes churches, etc. have access to therapists who charge based on ability to pay.
You might also check with your local teaching hospital to see if they have any ideas. Perhaps they offer a low cost program.