[vixjean]

Knowing full well that I can't 'do it for him' or 'make him change,'

my boyfriend was diagnosed with diabetes over a year ago.
We do live together.
He had a brief period of trying to do better for himself, but he is now
discouraged,
depressed,
and
in denial!
I have brought this up to him, and he knows what is going on, but he doesn't care to take action.
How can I and the doctor help push him to want to get better?
I know I can get him into the primary doctor, and he usually wants me in the visits with him, so how can I bring these issues up to the doctor?

[witchyonadiet]

Honestly - and I doubt this is what you want to hear - he won't get help until HE wants to and HE has to make the decision. You can tell him you love him and you hate seeing him in pain and you hope he chooses to get help - but thats about it. If you push too hard he'll pull away from you. I went a longtime without doing anything and am about ready to give up now. The absolute WORST thing you can do is say crap like "cheer up" - "things will get better" etc.
I don't think you can bring it up with the doctor - honestly the doctor would be incredibly irresponsible if he discussed it with you and your boyfriend may get angry that you bring it up.
I hope he makes the decision to get help. It must be hard seeing someone you care about in pain.

[VermontMom]

I'm not sure about confidentiality rules. But I would ask to speak to his doctor about the symptoms. The worst the doctor could do is say, 'I can't talk to you about that.'

You are a wonderful and supportive person to be trying to get help for him I hope things work out for you both

[BrownEyed Girl]

Originally Posted by witchyonadiet

Honestly, he won't get help until HE wants to and HE has to make the decision. You can tell him you love him and you hate seeing him in pain and you hope he chooses to get help - but thats about it. If you push too hard he'll pull away from you.

In total agreement with witchy.
What you can do is LISTEN. Don't feel like you have to do anything, but reflect back to him what you hear him saying. "You sound really overwhelmed with all the life changes that needed to happen. I would feel the same way!", or some such thing.
If he let's you be present at the doctor's appointment, perhaps you could just touch on the topic, like "we kind of feel pretty overwhelmed with all of this. Is that normal or common?" I'll just bet that any good doc would follow that lead.
Hang in there!

[Leenie]

If its affecting your relationship then maybe you can mention it secretly to the doctor before you go for his visit. But keep talking to your BF and remind him there is nothing to be ashamed about (maybe thats what he is feeling).

But getting him to the doc is your first step for sure.

Good luck

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