Witchy, please reconsider your decision to NOT tell your therapist. At the root of many of your issues may be this incident you refuse to allow her/him to help you with! I know form experience how horrible it is to suffer a betrayal, an attack and a sexual assault. Therapy helps.

:hugs:

Not a whole lot I can say other than that we're here for you, and I'm so glad you're able to talk about it at all (although I agree it would almost certainly be helpful to talk to your therapist about - that IS what they're there for). I totally understand how scary the attention can be, especially when you've been hurt badly before. Even without something as traumatic as rape, many of us struggling with depression deal with a similar feeling of not being worthy of attention, that they must want something else, want to hurt you. Anyway, just know we're here.