UGH. Okay, I know I always rant whenever I'm on here, but I'm about to crawl out of my skin at the moment. My best friend is so so unsupportive of my weight loss...not to mention, everything else I do. I showed her a short clip on 'Intervention', the one portraying Tamela...the ~*~cutter~*~. I was basically saying, "OMG, look at this girl..I used to be able to relate, it's so sad." And she says, "I'm now watching this! Ew!" And then she gives me a batch of garbage for it...UGH. I'm so sick of it. Whenever I talk about weight, she gets angry and says stuff like, "I thought you were trying to change?" She doesn't believe in psychological disorders...much less eating disorders. She says to me all the time that if I 'wanted to', I could change. She simply doesn't understand the thought process accompanied by an eating disorder....or any other disorder for that matter. I'm just so sick of feeling like I'm doing something wrong. She'll always give me wierd looks, crinkle her face, or say "that's stupid" whenever I express myself...I know I'm very hard on myself, especially my body, but Lordy, doesn't she understand that her negativity further complicates things? It's not as though I expect her to agree with me and say, "Oh, yes, you are fat.." etc., etc. I'm just asking for kindness. I don't think she realizes how impactful her behavior is...I know that she's fed up with me and my problems, but still...Ugh. I don't even know where I'm going with this. I'm just so jbhjdnh right now. I'm trying so hard; she's no idea how hard it is for me to 'love' myself. I simply can't...not at this weight anyway. I usually try and keep off of the whole 'weight' topic when I'm with her, but naturally, it creeps up and then we'll find ourselves in some petty arguement. It's so tiring and frustrating. I've tried so many times to help her to understand how I feel. She's even said things such as, "I think you LIKE people knowing that you have problems...", simply because I'll open up to people. Is that such a bad thing? My God. Ugh. I'm just done..
</end rant>



Sorry guys, I know I'm ridiculous.

Why talk to her about it? This is upsetting to you, talk about something else when you are with her. You have supportive friends right here.

Well this person doesn't really sound like a friend to me. Also ditto what bargoo said. You can talk about it right here and you've got lots of people that have the same issues.

It may just be that your friend is scared and or worried by how you treat yourself and your body. Maybe she just doesnt want to see you going down with the likes of Nicole Richie and other deathly thin creatures on this planet.

If she is your "best friend" and she is being unsupportive of some of the things you're doing, it may just be because she disagrees with how you're handling things. I've had people feel the same about me when I was going through my emo stages.

In the end, they just didnt want to see me hurting myself anymore, because it caused them just as much pain as I was doing to myself. My good friends were getting upset with me about my whining about my weight and other issues, in fact, they were the reason I eventually sought help and pulled myself out of my eating disorder and cutting adventure.

People are not mind-readers, so you may have to explain how the way she reacts towards your issues only makes them worse. It may be the case that she doesnt understand because nobody is willing to help her to understand.

You'll never find out until you have a serious heart to heart about it. If she is your best friend, I'm sure she would want to understand, I'm sure she'd actually care about you.

I don't mean to be rude, but if I had a friend who was 5'6, 123, and still trying to lose weight, I'd be ridiculously concerned as well. I've had several friends hospitalized and one die from an eating disorder- all who refused to get help even though they were aware of their problem. At this point, I know I cannot be friends with a person with an eating disorder unless they were actively in rehab and seeking counseling because I have zero sympathy otherwise after being pulled through the ringer by many friends.

Are you in counseling for your weight issues? Or rehab? I guarantee your friend would be supportive if that was the case and you were serious about it. The thing is, even the best of friends are exhausted dealing with another friend's mental health issues. It's sad and I wish there was a way around it, but being around a person with an eating disorder, depression, etc takes years off of your life because it's so draining and painful.

I completely agree with the above post. I had a nervous breakdown and big time depression a few years ago and it was so difficult and draining on my friends that I lost all but one of them.

While it's not so easy to just change overnight or say to someone "if you really wanted to, you would..." you still need to seek out someone who can really help you over the long run change certain aspects of your life with regards to an ED.

I wish you all the best and hope you know that at least what I am posting (and I"m sure the others - I just can't speak for them) is only out of wanting to truly help and support you.

While I don't agree with your friend's tactics, I would be inclined to agree with her over being concerned about your weight loss. I had a roommate much like your friend, and who belittled me as she saw me lose weight very quickly from my eating disorder. But she didn't know how to approach me lovingly and say "I'm concerned about you wasting away.," even though she was very concerned. I wish that she had, because I lost a LOT more than just weight from my eating disorder.

I'm sorry that I can't sympathize, because I am concerned about you wanting to lose weight even though you are at a very healthy weight right now. Are you in therapy?

Brianna, I didn't notice your stats before,you are at a perfect weight right now. You will be underweight at 110. A healthy weight range for 5'6" is 123-156.However I still say don't talk to your friend as it only upsets you. Her nagging will not help , we rarely change our ways because someone tells us what to do,on these forums we have people who have been through it all. Here you will get unjudgemental advice and support.

Ah...

Well, she is right about one thing. Only you can help yourself! I say that as a lONG term sufferer of depression and EDs. As a layman anyway if not a professional, I know what I'm talking about.

Some people really just don't get it, though. And even the people who do "get it" dont always want to talk about it, especially if they care about you and are tired of you hurting yourself, know only you can change you, so dont see the point in having the same discussion over and over.

I know this as my boyfriend of nearly 2 years has an ED (mostly anorexic) and we have a good, open and caring relationship - but he (and sometimes I) doesnt always want to talk about EDs/our EDs...we both kinda know theres no point, and it used to upset me but its preferable to vent in message boards, to professionals, or on helplines...

I sincerely hope this didnt come over as harsh, its only from my experience

emily
xxx

Hey guys :>

No offense taken to any of your responses. I understand that I'm of a healthy weight right now, but I still can't accept myself and my body. In truth, I'll never be satisfied. Yes, I've been in therapy for a couple of years now...and as some of you are already probably aware, I've been hospitalized for serious emotional problems, my ED and cutting. While the medication I'm on has helped me tremendously to pull myself out of my emotive state, I still can't shake this weight issue of mine. 123, to me, is horrible...I'd do anything right now to be 10 pounds lighter...I hate myself when I eat, I feel like such a fat glutton, not to mention, a failure. Ugh. I know she cares, as you guys on here do, but sometimes she makes me feel picked on, if that makes any sense. I'm sorry, but I'll never be one of those people who just eats and doesn't think about it afterwards. I don't condon over-indulgence...and if she can't understand that, then I don't know what to say. See, she comes from a family where food is a huge deal-they're Indian (east) and they're always trying to get family and guests (usually me) to eat and eat and eat...and while I know they're being kind, I simply can't understand that mentality. I mean, my God, how much food do these people need. I just can't understand how it is people can eat and not feel guilty. Yes, I know, I'VE the problem...which is why I continue seeking help. And in truth, I've really come a long way over the past year. Last summer, I'll admit, was pretty intense...I'd weigh myself constantly, and if I hadn't lost anything, I'd go on a run or power-walking and then weigh myself afterwards to make sure I'd exercised some weight off. It was pretty ridiculous. And I know you guys are right, I'm sure it is very difficult to see me 'hurt mysef', if that's what she wants to call it...but part of this is has to do with her being more 'bitter' than she used to be. She fights more frequently with her sisters and her friends, and she's always 'attention-deprived', so she hates when her family dotes over me. I can't help the fact that I'm more outgoing than her, it's simply a part of my personality. Ugh. I'm just sick of being demonized for this...it's not fair. Oh well. I tried discussing it with her last night...but really, I'm done talking about it with her. It's just going nowhere, and in truth, I'm just exhausted.

Anyway guys, thanks for your input.
I appreciate it :>