Well, I am. I think, in retrospect, I've always been a bit...well I go through periods of depression. Then periods of not depressed - those are great, but I think I've always been more moody/irritable/intolerant than other people are. My ex husband was OCD/bipolar and I refused to go on meds just to live with him, but I was definately depressed. I jumped into my work, always being an overachiever, etc...

I'm remarried to a wonderful man, and a few weeks ago we had a heart to heart and he said he didn't like that I was depressed and wanted me to take a break from work. I was overwhelmed at work and just sleeping all the time when I was off, not doing the things I like, etc... So, ok, I took a 2 month leave. My Dr started me on Lexapro (and gave me Xanax/Ambien which I don't take - kinda have a thing about not wanting to take pills). I feel like I should be able to kick this without pills, you know? I mean, life's hard, where a helmet, but ok, I took the Lexapro - increasing it after a week.

I think I'm more depressed now than I was. I'm not doing any of my hobbies, I'm sleeping more than I was (which is hard to believe), I'm not motivated, and my libido is non-existent (so hubby is starting to notice).

I'm going to call my Dr on Monday to get the Lexapro changed. I have to go back to work in another month to a job I hate, where I have way more work than everyone else, no recognition, etc... Other than that though, my life is good - so I can't figure out what I really have to be sad about. I have a great hubby, a great family, etc...

It's taken me a long time to admit I'm depressed - this is really the first time I've said Ok, I need help. I hate it though. I don't want to be depressed. I want to just put my big girl panties on and be normal.

Well, I've been the depressed route. I am doing much better on Wellbutrin. I tried Topomax and I had thoughts of suicide. So I got off that real quick! I wish I could be normal without the help of pills. But it sure feels better to actually smile and laugh again! Remember, depression is usually a chemical deficiency and it's not something that you are doing wrong. Feel better soon, OK?

Katrs5....you don't have to have a reason to be depressed.......we ALL are down and out from time to time (normal to be depressed about something) but chemical depression doesn't have to have a reason for it to exist. I was on Lexapro & Wellbutrin together....it did a wonderful job for me. I got really sick last year and my first instinct was to ditch the meds. Probably wasn't the best decision I have ever made, I really hit bottom fast....took me a long time to come back. I am not currently on meds, I hate not knowing if I'm really happy or is it the meds? Am I really depressed or do I need more meds?
So I am currently not on meds. But it sounds like you need some good help to sort through whatever is happening.....a medical Dr. is kinda good at prescribing meds.....but a therapist may also help get you back on track and in charge.
Depression is pretty serious stuff....don't under estimate it.

Probably a silly question....but....maybe you need to change jobs???? and could use the next month doing some job hunting????

For those with chronic pronounced severe depression......... ya just can't "kick it" without medicine. Just as a diabetic can't "kick" their body into gear so they can have a chocolate bar.

Yes, a new job would be good. I'll have to try that.

You are all right - I need to quit thinking of this as x happened so I'm sad....it's much more than that. I think it always has been, just I've been able to pull myself through without meds before. This time I don't think so.....

Thanks for the advice ladies. I'm definately calling to see if I can get a different pill....this one is making me worse I think.

I'm sorry things aren't going so well for you, Kat. The medicine thing is tricky, make sure you voice all of your concerns to your doctor.. things that might work for one person can possibly make the next person a basketcase (lexapro made me nuts, i sure know that, but for one of my best friends it's been her "miracle drug") Remember there's no shame in asking for help. Are you seeing a counselor as well? Sometimes it takes both meds and talking to someone to make real headway.

I'm going to start counceling in 2 weeks. I hope with meds and counceling I can get this under control. Thanks for the encouragement

I know exactly what you mean. Admitting I was depressed and was having panic attacks all the time was a big step for me and I had to swallow a lot of pride. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that Charlotte is right; this isn't our fault and no amount of willpower is simply going to make it go away. All we can do is do what it takes to get healthy and happy. Which it sounds like you're trying to do.

I had bad side effects with everything except Welbutrin (yes, I mean every drug they have on the market.) Lexapro made me feel like I had a really bad case of the flu. Hopefully, you and your doctor can find what works for you. Good luck!

Admitting can be tough at first, as mental disorders often have this stigma no one wants to associate. By recognizing the phasic and interpretive nature, it becomes easier to say "yeah this label could apply to some of my symptoms so maybe some treatments associated with it could improve my state of wellbeing".

Another reason may be with diagnoses especially of the psychological nature, is people don't like science being applied to the mind, and shudder at the thought of their self and emotions being dictated by fluctuations in biochemistry like dopamine or serotonin or oxytocin. Once we accept these materialistic components of our minds, it's probably easier to laugh it off and say "hey I think I need a nootropic surge, I'd better go for a walk and sniff some flowers and hug my dog".

I am on Wellbutrin as well and have had no side effects. My Doctor recommened this drug over the others because she said it had the least amount of side effects.

I have a dr's appt tomorrow at 3pm..I am hoping she keeps me on this.

Kat, You are worth feeling better and worth those big-girl panties! It does sound like you need to get that med changed. I wish you all the best!

Well, I think a lot of people go through depression. But we should do something about it because other people get affected. Start with your job because it's yoru daily life. Maybe, it's one of the causes of your depression. Quit your job and find a new one.


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ben
BMW Motorcycle Parts and Accessories

I feel for you, because I had the same thing. Have always been a "strong" person, and felt like it was a personal failing the first time I needed medication for depression. I felt like I should be able to just get over it myself.

But I couldn't. I was at the point of retreating into my house, not getting out of bed, rarely going to work, eating crap, putting on stacks of weight... I couldn't function as a person.

I got medication (Celexa/Cipramil) and this time, sought counselling from a clinical psychologist. It helped me immensely to see why I thought the way I did, and ways to change it. I always thought psych was a total waste of time, because talking about my feelings wouldn't change anything... I was wrong. It changed everything, and is why I was able to get my head in place to start losing weight and getting outside to interact with people.

I realised my job was creating an inordinate amount of stress and anxiety (quite toxic people there), and I quit. I loved my job, but I hated the people I worked with and it's an enormous relief to get out. It's not worth it to be miserable every day. If you're a high achiever, you'll do well anywhere you go - get another job.

Since then I've lost about 35lbs, exercise hard every single day, continue to take the medication, and have control of my life.

Depression is not a weakness. It is an illness. Anyone who thinks otherwise, I ask would they take antibiotics for an infection? If so, what's the difference? This is a chemical, biological disorder, not something that is all in my mind.