Hi ladies!

I know I said with the new year would come a new commitment to the end of my journey, however sadly, my dear little Canaan finally lost his battle and passed away New Years Day. Although Canaan really did not get to live his life and spent his time here miserable, I'm still at a loss for words. Four years simply doesn't seem long enough. I try to take comfort in the fact that he is no longer suffering, but I can't help but longing for my dearest Canaan back. For you ladies that have been around awhile, you know how big of a struggle this was for him and for myself. And I know logically, I should be elated that my precious boy is now doing all the things you couldn't do on this earth. But selfishly I find it little comfort. I'm really trying to do my best but I've simply feel empty. I can honestly say that finding Canaan that morning was the most indescribable feeling a mother can ever feel. It's like all of a sudden all the warmth is drained from your soul and your heart simply withers. We finally laid him to rest Tuesday on a rather frigid day and now the healing process begins.

I just wanted to let you gals know why I wasn't around after all my big talk last month. It's a very difficult time for me and my boys, and please pray, that I can maintain my sanity and find some peace. And MsP thanks for the message, I appreciate it and for those of you that spread the word, thank you as well. I really wanted to get on here sooner and let you ladies know, but I'm such a wreck right now, I'm doing good to even take my next breath. Anyways, I love you ladies and keep up the great work. And please, treasure your days with your kids and loved ones.

Delphi My heart goes out to you sweetie. I know you will have a rough road ahead of you, My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. If you need anything or if there is anything I can do please don't hesitate to let me know. I love you!

Poor baby. I know there are no words to console that sort of pain, and I hope you can keep a healthy frame of mind. Dealing with something this hard makes losing weight look easy.

May happy memories soon replace the pain.

Delphi,

Losing a child is something that no one can unerstand unless they have been there. I hope that you can find peace and solace in knowing that he is in a better place. Take all the time you need to grieve. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say, if there is anything we can do, please just let us know.

My thoughts will be with you and your family.

Delphi,
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish there was something I could do to ease the pain you're feeling. Please know we're here for you if you need us.

Oh Delphi! My heart aches for you and your family. My prayers for you as you grieve your loss. We are all here for you.

Wow, You don't check in for a few days and you miss so much. I got all things straight with the doctor and am cruising on plan.

Staying at 239.0 this am. Had alot of salt yesterday. So, today I was POP. Felt great. Figured out my calories and protein for today. Still no even 1200. But I have burned over 3000 cals today. So, need to get a bit more in before bed. Not sure how to pull that one off, but I will figure it out. But then that may burn some calories. Anyway, great workout with Physical therapy today. Got to finally run. only 1 minute bursts, but still it was running. We have a 5k coming up in May and I am gonna run it.

The biggest loser challenge at work has gotten so large. The 1st place prize is well over $300. Amazing. I am so excited about it.

I will post personals later. Must get more protein.

Love and light to all my peeps, especially Delphi.

Delphi - You and your family will definitely be in our prayers. Your strength over these last months has been amazing and I know that you are strong enough to get you and your family through this.

Delphi~:hug: :hug: I am so sorry to hear this. My heart and prayers go out to you. do the best you can and the Lord will take care of the rest. I understand how you feel. I am crying for you. :hug: :hug:

Summer 2010: Lose 15 lbs (10% loss)
Mikan: Reach 150's
JazzyPeggy: Reach 275 lbs
laurie78: Lose 8 lbs and Fit in or be close to size 10
MelO: Lose 8 lbs
Delphi: Lose 10 lbs
DixieMae: Reach 159 (lose 5 lbs)
LouisaH:Lose 10 lbs to reach 203 lbs
Shrinking Girl: Lose 7 lbs to reach 177 lbs
JudiAB: Lose 5 lbs
Tummy Girl: Maintain at or below 135 lbs and body fat of 21-22%
sockmonkey:Lose 10 lbs
PrairieChick: Lose 10 lbs
tigga: Lose 10 lbs
Taurie: Reach 119 lbs
tyla: Lose 10 lbs to reach 135 lbs
Late to the Game: Lose 6 lbs
NebraskaGirl: Lose 7 lbs
Ms Perception: Fit comfortably into size 6's and reach 24% body fat
jellofer2: Reach 228 lbs
busymovinmama: Eat fruits, veggies, beans and whole grains everyday
BeautyandtheBeast: Lose 10 lbs to reach 148.8 lbs
RockyMtnGirl: Lose 15 lbs
Shea5: Lose 14 lbs
Gekster: Reach 271 lbs (lose 7 lbs)
Slimming: Lose 10 lbs
Miss Mallee: Lose 10 lbs
nellonello: Lose 6 lbs
mystical: Lose 5 lbs
bbybear712: Lose 10 lbs
trishn222: Lose 6 lbs
princess2323: Lose 5 lbs
MeoxMix: Lose 8 lbs
shutterbug84: Lose 12 or more pounds to be at or below 200 lbs
jazzafg: Lose 5 lbs to reach 205 lbs
kris2008: Lose 9 lbs to reach 165 lbs
MotherMe: Lose 6 lbs and get into Onederland
canadianangel: Reach 185 lbs and fit into the jeans on the mirror ;)
Hannahs Nana: Lose 10 lbs
jiggles77: Lose 5 lbs
Jessie Rose: Lose 10 lbs and wear favorite jeans without muffin top
rubyru: Lose 10 lbs
Bigmid: Lose 7-9 lbs to reach Onederland
Emilia LaCasuela: Lose 8 lbs
helpmelose: Lose 9 lbs
hotstuff: Lose 8 lbs
Lori Ann: Lose 15 lbs
jleeson: Lose 6 lbs and fit into size 34 jeans
girlieyorkie: Lose 8 lbs
ShellyK0622086: Lose 10 lbs
Sunflower38: Lose 10 lbs
dollypie: Lose 10 lbs
LBLazy: Lose 10 lbs to reach 165.2 lbs
tryintoloseit4good: Lose at least 5 lbs
KimL1214: Get back down to 260 lbs
VickieLou: Reach 220 lbs
Muffentop: Lose 10 lbs to reach 239.2 lbs
christies6pack: Lose 10 lbs
BrainBabiesBe: Lose 2-3 lbs to reach 175-176 lbs
LaurenA: Reach Onederland
bigmomma: Lose 8 lbs
Nella: Lose 8 lbs
ilunikavi: Reach 205 lbs

Delphi-I'm glad you're still there, taking on day at a time. Love to you from all of us.

jellofer-That's a heck of a calorie burn. Good job, but get some cals so you're not starving. I'll never understand how people struggle getting enough cals. I've got cals on a waiting list...just ready for me whenever I have room for them! LOL

A wonderfully OP day here. That is impressive since I helped my kids make graham cracker gingerbread houses with frosting, candies, etc. and ate exactly one m&m the whole time. I realize it's a bit late for this project, but Christmas was so busy and since we're at the IL's I had to be careful not to mess up their house since they hosted some of the festivites. Now we have a bit more freedom, so we did it now. We're easy going folk who enjoy this stuff whenever time allows. It was fun watching the kids enjoying the creative process and I kept telling myself, "I'm not hungry. I don't need this stuff." And miraculously I listened to myself!

Jellofer, I would be willing to give up a few of my extra calories for you--that's the kind of dedicated team player I am.

I was down 1.4 pounds as of yesterday morning, but tonight I hosted a little party with drinkin' buddies I hadn't seen for a while, and didn't even attempt to count calories, but did attempt to regulate quantity and drink water between bevvies. I did get in a good hour of aerobics today. Tomorrow will tell.

Checking in with my first weigh in for the month.

Down 2 pounds!! Woot!

2/8 pounds down.

I'm jumping at the chance to join this team late.

My goal for January: lose 10.8 pounds.

Checking in late (because I just came back to this site today, yay for getting back on track!)

My goal for the rest of January will be to climb my minutes per week of exercise up to 240, and then stay there until Feb, when I shoot for a higher goal!

Week 1 (12/28-1/3) : 158 mins
Week 2 (1/4 - 1/10) : ??? More, I hope!