Please be warned that this post contains cruelty, and if it affects you the same as it did me, may be a bit of a trigger.


[warning space so you can hit the Back button if you need to]









I was just reading a message board where people were discussing the recent death of a model from anorexia nervosa, and came across the following lovely sentiments:

""All this complaining about girls being too thin is usually being done by those of you who have asses the size of Texas."

"Instead of worrying about how little someone else is eating, why don't you concentrate on putting down the Big Mac, Porky?""


And just like that, I want to purge. Even though I've barely eaten yet today, I feel like I don't deserve to have any food in my stomach, because I'm such a great big cow. I know that's my ED talking, and that ultimately I am responsible for my response to others' words and actions...but my god, why do people think it's okay to talk like that?

I want to cry.

Remember...they are saying this about a girl who is DEAD! Not where you want to be! Look at what you have accomplished being 7 days binge/purge free. It's not worth going back to zero because of some ignorant peoples' comments. Obviously the girl was too thin -- SHE'S DEAD. You don't want to be there, and you don't want to agree with people who think that being dead is an okay goal. Hold strong.

People can be extremely insensitive, whether it be because they are just plain mean, or because they have tons of insecurities about themselves.
And you KNOW that you are not a "cow" you are a person who has dealt with a lot and now is being really successful.
All I can do is say don't let these people get to you.

There are always, always, always going to be idiots in this world who say idiotic things. DO NOT let them get the better of you. Then they win. We don't want them to win. Don't give THEM the power. You deserve to have food in your stomach, because that's what you need to survive. And that's what you are - a survivor. And you deserve to have food in your stomach.
Got it? Good.

Just remember....the people who wrote that are anonymous beings on the internet. They could even be overweight and hateful themselves. Be the stronger person and feel badly for them. Look how warped and sick their thinking is...is that what you aspire to? Of course not! If you give up your 8 days of abstinence for them, will it be worth it? Of course not!

Hang in there...this is not permanent. It's just a bump in the road.

To answer the question in the thread-title: No, a lot of people donīt realize the damage their words can do.

And for those comments in the internet: first, there are anonymous like OnePerDecade said. You donīt know how the look like themselfes.

My guess would be that there are suffering from Anorexia (or another ED) themselves. Itīs quite common that people wo are still "active" in addiction/ ED are mocking about the people who are advocating a healthy lifestyle. If they would really think about the death of that model, they would have to recognize that they are on the same road and they end up like her if they didnīt change. Itīs a weird protection-mechanism.
So, I think THEY are the ones with the HUGE problem.

Please donīt let that bring you down!! Whoever wrote that is just *****.
You deserve not only the food in your stomach, you deserve EVERYTHING.


Kate

Please excuse me while I become someone's Momma for a few minutes. I can't help it ... I'm just a Momma!

Just imagine for a minute that you are a big bowl of "life". Mixed in is your genetics, upbringing, experiences, associations ... Everything that happens to you, near you etc.

There is a recipe for bread that calls for you to make batter and let it sit in the open. You don't do anything to it. Natural yeasts in the area fall into it for leavening. You don't do anything ... but the yeast gets in there.

You can prevent this by covering the batter -or- you can sanitize the entire process and use store bought yeast. You take a little and make sure it's entirely blended. Not a speck of that batter is without yeast. Clean, good, healthy yeast.

Back to the bowl that is you ... We like to think that we are sturdy, teflon ... but we're more like sponge. We're more like the bread batter that's been left in the open. We need to sanitize the process as best we can. Make the environment in which we dwell as conducive to healthy growth as we can.

Now we can't avoid a lot of stuff but you, Callystia, can avoid that message board. It's not adding anything helpful to your delicate mix.

3FC does! I don't care if you have to add three or five servings a day. A good healthy additive is what your mix needs.

WOW! Excellent analogy! SusanB, I just adore your common sense and recipe advice!

Cally,

I hope you're feeling better! You deserve food and a WONDERFUL, happy life! In fact, you NEED food in order to live. I agree with the other posters. It sounds like these remarks were made by people with some serious EDs. You are better and stronger than those people and their words!

Hope you are doing better today.



I love what SusanB said. When I opened this thread I thought, "I can handle it."
But wow, that was harsh. It bothers me more than I want to admit. I am a sponge. I know that, and sometimes I am successful at protecting myself. Other times I didn't see it comming. Then I try to call a friend, or reach for 'The Four Agreements', or come to this board.

One day at a time. You are wonderfull and strong and learning.

Wow, Susan posted an excellent response, Cally.
I hope you are doing better...
Unfortunately, some people throw out words like garbage and never realize the extent of what they are truly saying. People can be so callous. I agree with Susan, though, this place is a wonderful place to find the support and encouragement that you/I need to help us get on track toward living a better, healthier life.
Hugs to you, Cally...

Guys, I have an excellent explanation for the posts on that article's discussion board. Those people are IDIOTS! It's probably 14 year old boys or very lonely, lonely people... I read those discussion boards when I want a good laugh, because it's a million to one shot that someone will post something worthwhile.
Cally, please don't take it personally. The majority of people that post stupid stuff on those boards are just killing time while therir pornography downloads, lol! I can tell you are a sensitive, kind person; you don't need to let some idiot's comments affect you! I agree with Kate 109-- you deserve everything!!!

Thank you so much, everyone. I do feel better now.

The truly sad thing is, the person who was saying some of those things was (or at least claimed to be) a man married to a 100-pound marathon runner. He was holding her up as the ideal.

I really don't want to think about what that marriage might be like. Maybe she maintains that weight of her own accord, but since she has a husband who talks to perfect strangers that way, I don't envy her anyway.