My battle against bingeing
 

Hi everyone,
I've been a member of these boards for quite some time, I just never stuck around with my posting seeing as I kept on yo-yo dieting. Yes, I am a binger. And I feel as though I may have the beginnings of an eating disorder. Therefore, I am deciding right now to stop it. And to keep me accountable, I will write my journal here, if that's ok. I feel I need an outlet somewhere somehow and feedback would be much appreciated. I can't really talk to my relatives, as they have much bigger issues than I do. I'm just a college student. But, I can do this. I actually posted about a month ago how I broke my 135 lbs. Well, no more. I am actually 15 pounds heavier now. And I feel sick just looking at myself. I feel disgusted. I just want to be normal. So, here, I want to post daily, my weight, my goal, my eating journal and goals. I want to do it to remind me to stop bingeing and restricting cycle. I will stay strong. And if anyone could please keep me accountable, as in if you have similar issues, send me an e-mail to the 3FC inbox and we could be buddies or something. Keep each other accountable. Thanks for listening. Sorry this is long, but that's probably how most of my posts are gonna be.

Today's weight: 145.5 lbs
Mini goal weight: 140 lbs
Ultimate goal weight: 118 lbs

:welcome: to our forum bringiton!!! Please come visit us on our exercise thread and our weekly challenge thread. We have a lost confessions thread on here too (not too lost -- on the 2nd page). And that's where you post your food-specific confessions.

Can I ask you why your goal weight is so low? Have you been that weight before? You said that you think you may being going down the road to an ED - and setting such a low goal weight won't be helpful in staving off the dangerous mindset that eating disorders produce. My advice to all people (including myself) with eating issues is to work on not bingeing first -- eating healthy with no dangerous behavior, and then exercising and shifting some focus to losing weight -- but it's not healthy for us to be overly concerned with the numbers on the scale.

Good luck to you :)

Thank you so much for replying, and you are absolutely right. I should first learn how to eat well and healthy and stop bingeing before I set any weight loss goals. And, unfortunately, that sounds easier said than done, you know? I think it's that way for a lot of people. But I am trying my hardest to stop eating the junk food and so far, I am feeling better and more concentrated on my school work. I will check out those threads you've posted.

Today's weight: 144.5
Mini-goal: 140

Reasons for me being happy/greatful:
-I am creative
-I am smart
-I am intelligent (somewhat)
-I am a good listener
-I do well in school
-I am motivated
-I am responsible
-I am Polish (my heritage is very important to me)
-I am unique
-I have 2 great sisters and a wonderful mom
-I have the cutest niece in the world
-I like my face (most of the time, anyway)
-I take initiative
-I am strong physically
-I am loveable
-I am generous
-I am helpful
-I am greatful for everything I have in life
-I love nature
-I have friends who understand me
-I am healthy (no major illnesses, as to the eating, that's debatable...lol)
-I am a woman
-I don't beat around the bush
-I'm a nice person
-I am funny (sometimes)
-I laugh for no reason (love this one), especially when my friend is around
-I am responsible
-I am somewhat independent (my parents are paying for school, but right now I am paying off my loan with the money I earned over the summer)
-I have one grey highlight on my hair that I've had since I was a kid
**Sorry it's a long list but I feel it helps me to feel positively about myself**

So, not a good day, not a good day at all. I got hardly any work done...grrr. But anyway, as for my bingeing, I ate about 5 cups of trail mix, but the healthier kind, also a pint of ice cream, and 2 small bags of pretzels. So, yeah, I know tomorrow has to be better, I really want to be. Oh God, give me strength. Please do, I really need it.

Sending you a big hug, hon. :hug: You know you can do this... you've got so much going for you.
And I'm glad you're "starting small" with your goals. You're going to be alright. :)

Thank you for your support. I really appreciate it. Today is a good day. I am feeling good about myself for once. I am at 143 lbs, don't feel bloated and I will have a lot of things to keep me busy today since I have so much homework due tomorrow and also research to be done for today. Alright, wish me willpower, ladies. Have a great day everyone!

Not to be a critic or anything...
 

Dear, you have a BMI of 23.8, which puts you in the normal range. At a weight of 118, you would have a BMI of 19, which still puts you in the normal range, but I don't understand what would have led you to a website for people with weight problems (or former weight problems).
That's not to say that you're not welcome here, because this site is for anyone, but I only wonder because I get so sad for women when they seem to be almost obsessive about every single pound. I have a friend who's weight loss goal was 143, and she was down to 145, talking about what a piece of crap she was because she was "2 fat pounds overweight". Good Lord!
Maybe the only problem you are having right now is that you might need to tone up? Yes, bingeing is not good for anyone, as it could eventually lead to you having a weight problem. I hope that you can stop stressing about weight, and appreciate yourself. I think that if you do that, you can probably more easily deal with the bingeing issue.
Please don't take my posting as criticism, because it is meant only with respect. I just want you to take a look at why you feel the way you do, and try to help yourself from the inside. Take care and good luck.:hug:

I agree with what eldubu just said. I welcome you here too but I think your target weight is way low. You are 5'5 and weigh 145. A general rule of thumb I have found is 100 pounds for a person 5 foot. Every inch after you add 5-10 pounds depending on if you are small or large boned. Like me for instance, I am a bit large boned so I am aiming for 140, BUT i also have more muscle on me cause I walk about 1700 minutes a month and plan to start taking up aerobic and strength training etc. So I feel 150 is more reasonable and heck maybe even 160 would be fine by then.

So at your heighth, 125-150 should be satisfactory. I would recommend adapting better eating habits for you and gaining muscle.

to present the other point of view:

I am also a healthy weight by BMI guidelines. While weight or BMI may correlate with eating disorders, it is not a requirement for an eating disorder. There are normal-weight anorexics, just as there are normal-weight binge eaters. A person's biology is not necessarily reconcilable with her emotional health or eating habits. So many other factors, such as exercise, metabolism, and habits may affect a person's weight, so that two people who eat the same food in the same amounts will without exception be different weights.

As far as why I've come here: While 3FC is a forum for those with weight issues, this support group is called Chicks in Control, and it's for those with eating disorders. What an overweight binger feels and does is NO DIFFERENT from what a normal-weight binger feels and does. That is why they both are here.

Please understand, Jasmine31 and Eldubu, that your eating problems are no more serious than mine or bringiton's. Disordered eating behaviors are dangerous at any weight or other demographic.

118 lbs is low on the bmi scale, but without knowing bringiton, I couldn't say that it was too low. It would be especially hypocritical for me as I am also low on the BMI scale and my body stays there happily when I'm eating mindfully.

And I don't think bringiton is the only poster with only a few lbs to lose. This "chicks in control" forum is for bingers, no matter what they weigh- and it's a great forum.:D

Welcolme bringiton! You sound very determined to tackle your problem, good for you! And that was a great list you posted.

I don't have much advice except make sure you eat enough good nutritious food (and some treats:devil: ) during the day to keep the binge monster at bay during the evening.

Good luck!

Thank you for your viewpoint and I am not belittling any persons eating disorders. Sorry if you thought so. I do know food affects everyone differently and people do carry weight differently. I also do know that cause of the media some women do get distorted body images and even when thin, think they are fat. That is why I mentioned the height issue, etc. Some people don't know what their healthy weight might be. I did welcome her to the forum as I would anyone joining. I know that muscle weighs more than fat and some women who are not heavy to begin with but have "problem areas", do tone up, sometimes even gaining weight, but are 1-2 sizes smaller because muscle weighs more than fat. I was just trying to give her some advice. Everyone is free to take it or leave it. Anyhow, nice to meet ya _knot!

That last post of mine may have been a little passive-aggressive. Sorry about that, Jasmine31 and Eldubu. I got defensive because for the longest time I told myself I couldn't be eating disordered because I was normal weight; I denied both anorexia and binge eating at their times.

I am so appreciative of this supportive environment and its diverse, opinionated members. Hi, Jasmine31! :wave:

No problem I understnd we all get edgy once in a while, and especially online sometimes it is hard to know exactly what a person means. This is a great place and there is a wealth of info here. I have not been able to read even 10% of it yet! What forum do you mainly post in?

"Please understand, Jasmine31 and Eldubu, that your eating problems are no more serious than mine or bringiton's"...I apologize if my post seemed that I was saying someone else's problems aren't as serious as mine. The point I was trying to make, ultimately, was that I was concerned for a girl who is in a healthy weight range that is on a site for weight loss and seems to be, for lack of coming up with a better word, obsessed about her weight. It was out of sheer concern that I wrote that posting. I get so sad when I see women thinking they're not good enough, even at a healthy weight. My apologies if it came across as critical.