Chicks in Control Overeating? Binging? Share uplifting support and gain control!

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Old 09-07-2006, 03:03 AM   #1  
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Default Introducing Myself: New to 3FC Forum! Will XPost (LONG)

Hi there!

My name is Jen. I'm 26, 5'6+ (almost 5'7!), and have been struggling with my weight for most of the last 16 years of my life. I'm just under 300 lbs (again) (for now, OTR at the moment, ugh), but I need to lose a HUGE amount of weight if I want to live the happy, healthy, and long life that we all desire and deserve.

Where do I start? Well, I wasn't a fat child, but early puberty (period at 10), fat genes, and a taste for junk food I wasn't allowed to have at home got me to between 200 and 250, back and forth, between the ages of 11 and 17. I was diagnosed as Manic Depressive/Bipolar at age 17, and put on a NASTY cocktail of drugs that, while temporarily calming me down, caused massive weight loss in a short period, much of my hair to fall out, and generally made me more of a basket case in the long run. And then tragedy struck....

After becoming "skinny" (although I'd lost a lot of hair, so I still felt ugly...STILL growing it back! )(165 lbs was skinny to me and others!) from Lithium poisioning and all that crap, I managed to REALLY get myself in trouble: I got pregnant just after HS graduation, from a guy I'd been with on and off since I was 12 (we weren't serious until I was 15 or so)...being the stellar young man he was, he promptly told me to abort and cut off all contact with me(we lived in different states at this point). I decided to keep the baby, but quickly developed serious complications. I managed to get Pre-eclampsia in my 4th month, resulting in mandatory bedrest. My unborn daughter was doing just fine, despite the health concerns regarding my BP (I've had issues with it since I was 12), until I picked up a MASSIVE infection during a short hospital stay for gallstones...my daughter, who'd previously been super-healthy, was stillborn a few days later, at 29 weeks. I was a wreck, as you can imagine. No amount of support can alleviate the pain of losing a child, especially when it's your first. I'm scarred for life, I think.

My poor mother, who was as crushed as I was, took care of me the only way she knew how: by feeding me. Food has always been a comfort to me, and this situation was a great exaggeration of that sad fact. I left the hospital a week after losing my little girl at around 225 lbs (gained a lot from bedrest and P/E fluids), and before I knew it, I was 300 lbs by the next year. I'm a mess. While my life is improved these days (I have a wonderful fiance, a lovely little nephew, age 5, who has done a lot to help with my pain, and I'm working towards a great career), I still ache for my baby girl, as well as the mistakes I would change if I only had a chance. #1 being getting pregnant in the first place, and #2 being eating to try and fill the hole in my heart.

My depression, whatever the diagnosis (I think, at some point, I've been "tagged" with everything in the DSM-IV) definitely complicates my efforts to become healthy, but I CANNOT LET DESPAIR KILL ME. This is why I'm here. Besides, I desperately want another child, but it might be deadly to attempt pregnancy at my size, with my BP issues and history. I'd sooner die than risk losing another baby. My doctor warns me every visit to not get pregnant, as for some reason, I cannot assure her that I am NOT currently trying to get pregnant. What a moron! She put in my dang IUD, argh!

Since I'm technically insulin-resistant as well, with a F/H of diabetes, I try to follow a low-glycemic diet. I'm currently trying to do my own "Beach Watchers" sort of thing, where I follow the SB principles, but within WW's points. I'd love to hear from anyone doing a similar plan

So there's my sob story....I don't mean to bring you down, but it helps to explain my predicament and large amount of weight to use.

Is there an "emotional eaters" group? I definitely need to get in on that.

Anyways, thanks for listening/reading, and feel free to contact me!

Take care,

Jen
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Old 09-07-2006, 03:43 AM   #2  
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Hi Halloweengirl!!! and to the CIC forum!!! I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your baby It must be incredibly difficult. I couldn't imagine the pain you went through.

I think we are the closet thing to "emotional eaters" group you'll find on here, and many of us have triggers that are strictly emotional.

Much luck and much strength as you begin your journey to be happy and healthy!!!
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Old 09-07-2006, 03:56 AM   #3  
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Default Thank you so much!

HCG, I am in AWE of your stats! You inspire me!

I sometimes fear that I'll never get back down under 200 lbs, let alone to my goal, but talking to amazing women like you should keep me motivated.

Thank for your support....I'm still grieving, but that will probably always be the case. Having another child will help, but I can't do that until I get this damn weight off. I have to keep that in mind the next time I want to eat everything in sight so I don't have to think about my feelings. Ugh.

I'm very honest, so I expect to be "confessing" a lot here. Glad to know I'm not alone with food/emotional issues.

Thanks again
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Old 09-07-2006, 08:08 AM   #4  
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Jen, I'm so very sorry about the loss of your daughter. I think you're an incredibly strong woman to come here and "let it all out". And you sound very determined. We're all here for each other, and we're glad to have you join us.
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Old 09-07-2006, 08:38 AM   #5  
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Welcome Jen!

This is a great site and I know you will find plenty of support here

BTW - love your tag line
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Old 09-07-2006, 12:46 PM   #6  
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Thanks Ladies!

I'm already really enjoying being here I am in desperate need of "Girl Talk" support, as my fiance just can't understand sometimes, although he is 100% supportive of me. My mom and sister just keep trying to get me to be naughty with them, LOL. But I resisted mom yesterday
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Old 09-07-2006, 01:21 PM   #7  
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Aww My heart broke for you...I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I lost one as well before I had my two kids. The ache never fully leaves but it does fade. We still celebrate the angel babies due date although I lost that baby very early...it was still a life and a heart.

I LOVE your Signature quote.....

Harpo is an inspiration to us all...and she is a great person

Ellis is our great Mod and she is awesome

All the ladies here at 3FC are great. They have helped me battle with my bulimia and personal issues...sometimes without even knowing it. 3FC is a great place to be.

Good luck on your weight loss journey and make sure to make yourself at home here with us
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Old 09-07-2006, 02:21 PM   #8  
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i' m sorry about your little girl. you will grieve and with time it will get easier. this is a great place to be for the support you need with weight loss. i have posted many times and always have had encouraging replys. i am an emotional eater also and i have the same 100 lb. journey. just log in here whenever you need it and you'll find you are never alone!! by the way,
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Old 09-07-2006, 07:41 PM   #9  
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welcome jen!!!
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Old 09-12-2006, 12:17 AM   #10  
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Welcome! I'm bipolar myself and have had lithium poisoning a couple of times (made me gain 20 kilos as well as giving me chronic fatigue-lovely). I'm relatively sane I hasten to add, I work full time and have been working hard to lose weight. If you ever want some to chat with, feel free to add me.
cheers
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